Drive-Bys

I certainly hope this Gollum column was written as a satiric parody:

Contrary to what you might think, I am a proud member of the pro finger-pointing caucus. It wasn’t too long ago that my longtime colleague Paul Begala and I urged our friends on the other side of the aisle to engage early and often in the blame game.

Now it is the Democrats’ turn. Point fingers is exactly what Democrats have done following Republican Scott Brown’s surprise victory in Massachusetts, and the subsequent setback for healthcare reform .

Now it is the Democrats' turn? Turn to do what exactly? Hmmmm.... Let's see what Gollum thinks:

Democrats would not be playing the blame game with one another for the loss or for the healthcare debacle if they had only pointed fingers at those (or in this case, the one) who put Americans (and most of the world) in the predicament we’re in: George W. Bush.

Seriously? Blame Bush?

What rock has he been hiding under that he's missed the Democratic mantra for at least the past two years?

Unless I was right in the first place, and this is total satire in the tradition of Mark A. Rayner, of course... and then it's truly hilarious.
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More comic satire?

"The president has always gotten the message," top Obama adviser David Axelrod said. "The message is, we need to grow this economy in a way that allows hardworking people who are meeting their responsibilities to get ahead instead of falling behind."

They're killing me!
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And Chicken Little chimes in with this gem:

"These deficits did not happen overnight, and they won't be solved overnight," Obama said in a statement. "The only way to solve our long-term fiscal challenge is to solve it together -- Democrats and Republicans."

Either he forgets completely that each of his big economic bail-out plans were rammed through overnight, including TARP, saving the auto industry, cash for clunkers and more and he also forgets just how many times Democrats made decisions in closed-door meetings and refused Republicans entry...

..OR, he's making a funny. A really big funny.
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And then there's this knee-slapper:

“They just kept telling us how good it was going to be. The president himself, when that was brought up in one group, said, ‘Well, the big difference here and in ’94 was you’ve got me.’ We’re going to see how much difference that makes now.”

Has anybody got a tissue? I've been laughing so hard I cried.
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One more little artistic doozy related to that pesky healthcare behemoth that Chicken Little just won't let go of:

Valerie Jarrett, another top adviser, said Obama had spoken to congressional leaders over the weekend ''to try to see what the climate is, what's the art of the possible.''

I have to stop now. My sides are killing me.
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One more thing... when did Jesse Ventura get so hawt? (And, NO, I don't buy into all his conspiracy theory nonsense. It's just that he used to be a lot cruder and ruder looking. Age agrees with the man.)

On that happy note, I'm outta here.