Leslie's Omnibus

Book Your Ticket

Just finished Nicholas Sparks' latest book, "The Wedding". A follow-up to "The Notebook," it's the best book he's written in a while, as it's about affirming a relationship that's gone stale. Less tears, more honest hard work, it's one of those books that makes you hope that there's a relationship out there like that for you. Just see if you don't fall in love all over again.
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Next up? Just got Gary Jennings' second in the "Spangle" series -- "The Center Ring". I loved "The Road Show," so I'm really looking forward to opening it as soon as I finish this post. Can't wait!
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Leslie

Traveling Companions

Lair has some observations about his fuzzy, four-footed friends. Be sure to watch the yoga videos. Hilarious!
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Leslie

From the Rowdies in the Back of the Bus

From the original Marquette "back of the bus gang," Pam asks: "NOW.... WHO IN THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?"

Murphy's Laws About Men:

1. The nice men are ugly.

2. The handsome men are not nice.

3. The handsome and nice men are gay.

4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.

5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money

6. The men who are not so handsome but are nice men with money think women are only after their money!

7. The handsome men without money are after our money.

8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.

9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.

10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank Godare heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!

11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when a woman takes the initiative.
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And that rowdy ol' gal Nancy V. sends these real personal ads from the Dublin News:

Heavy drinker, 35, Cork area. Seeks gorgeous sex addict interested in aman who loves his pints, cigarettes, Glasgow Celtic Football Club and starting fights on Patrick Street at three o'clock in the morning.
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Bitter, disillusioned Dublin man, lately rejected by long-time fiancé, seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in this cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches.
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Ginger haired Galway man, a trouble-maker, gets slit-eyed and shitty after a few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes, maybe more.
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Bad tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard, living in a damp cottage in the arse end of Roscommon, seeks attractive 21 year old blonde lady, with a lovely chest.
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Devil-worshipper, Offaly area, seeks like-minded lady, for wining and dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic walks, and slaughtering cats in cemeteries at midnight under the flinty light of a pale moon.
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Limerick man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for the night of February 27 between 8 PM and 11:30 PM.
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Optimistic Mayo man, 35, seeks a blonde 20 year old double-jointed supermodel, who owns her own brewery, and has an open-minded twin sister.

Just think, there's a whole country full of these guys just waiting to man the outsourcing posts of Amerikan Corporations. And they already speak English. Uh, sorta. (And you can have 'em, ladies. I think I've dated them all at least once already!)
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Nancy also sent this bit of local humor:

A young blonde woman in Joliet, Illinois, was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the I&M canal. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the dock, crying. He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulders and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."

The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in Europe would give her life new meaning.

That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.

Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the captain."What are you doing here?" the captain asked.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get food and a trip to Europe, and he's screwing me."

"He certainly is," the captain said. "This is Harrah's Casino, and we never leave Joliet."
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Leslie

Bus Fumes

Here's another first class monster in the making. Where are her parents and what are they teaching her?
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Leslie

Drive-Bys

By golly, I really love seeing good news every once in a while.
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Beloit College's "Mindset List" for the Class of 2008 is out. Richard Roeper adds his two cents. No matter how I look at it, this list makes me feel OLD.
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Leslie

Wide Open Spaces

NASA will announce a new class of planets. Four new planets have been found this week. Wow!
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Comet research pioneer dies. See you among the stars, Mr. Whipple.
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Leslie

The Campaign Trail

Okay. So maybe the character issue isn't number one. But something's wrong when a candidate either can't remember his own actions... or outright lies about them. And for the life of me, I can't figure out which of those two options scares me more. I really believe Kerry is making a mistake by tossing around "facts" that are easily refutable.
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For the record, I'm none to happy with either presidential candidate right now. I'm a fiscal conservative and a social progressive. Can't someone come up with a third party that speaks to both of these things?

The GOP can pull out the stops with middle-leaning GOPs (Schwartzenegger, Giuliani, McCain) and cross-over Dems (Koch and Miller) as speakers, but the fact is that the candidates themselves lean far more to the right than that. As an undecided voter, I resent being pandered to when I know damn well that a bait-and-switch operation is going on right under my nose. And the Dems are scary because they're so far left they're pratically in outer space, and don't care who knows it.

Please, please, please can't I have a party of my own?
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Leslie

Roadside Diversions

Carnival of the Capitalists
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Carnival of the Dogs
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Carnival of the Cats
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See! It's a Mr. Toad's Wild Ride of a Carnival day!
Leslie

Bus Fumes

How could this happen? And how do you give someone back 8 years of their life?
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Leslie

End of the Line

This was a shocker. I always kind of hoped she'd make a comeback. Another icon of my youth bites the dust. Damn.
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Leslie

Wide Open Spaces

Just how dangerous is Genesis' payload?
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Leslie

Drive-Bys

Did anyone happen to ask the dolphins what nationality they claim... if any?
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Do you 'spose they'll ever say potato chips are good for your heart? Oh, well. At least this'll make my mom happy.
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This could be very good news for gymnastics.
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I had a feeling this was coming. I don't mind Chicago as long as it's cold enough to snow. I do mind it when it's too cold to snow!
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I may have to try this one out some day... just to see if it really works. Heh!
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Pandemonium in the sky indeed! While the idea is sexy in principle, in practice how would you regulate traffic?
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Seriously yummy-sounding.
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Leslie

Traveling Companions

We had a big storm here in Chicago last night. Usually I can sleep through anything, but these thunder-boomers were so loud it was like having someone whomp on a bass drum right next to my ear.

Now, I might just have slept throught he smaller boomers (boomlettes?) in between the big boogers, but Marilyn decided that if she was going to be awakened by them, so was I. Just as I'd finally be falling back to sleep, I'd feel a pat, pat, pat on my face. Push her away. Try to go back to sleep.

Pat, pat, pat. "Eee?"

"Marilyn, go to sleep."

Pat, pat, pat. Scratch at the blankets. "Eee?"

Roll over. Lift the covers and shove her under. Brush the tip of her tail away from my nose two or three or four times. Go back to sleep.

"Eee?" Pat, pat, pat. Scratch, scratch, scratch. "Eee?"

All night long.

I love my cat, okay? But it gave me great pleasure to bounce out of bed when the alarm went off this morning, knowing she'd glaring at me for making her move out of her warm bed.

"You know what, Marilyn? Eee, yourself."

Yep. I said it. It felt good, too.
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Leslie

Roadside Diversions

Carnival of the Recipes #2. Anyone who likes to cook will love this round-up of recipes from the blogosphere.
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Leslie

Rest Stops

I don't know about you, but this would certainly freak ME out!
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Leslie

Chartered Excursions -- The U.S. Tour

My brother-in-law sends this regional guide to the U.S.:

You live in Florida when...
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind - even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.

You live in Arizona when...
1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You can open and drive your car without touching the car door or the steering wheel.
3. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
4. You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
5. You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
6. "Dress Code" is meaningless at high schools and universities. Picture lingerie ads.

7. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
8. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
9. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
10. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.

You live in California when...
1. You make over $250,000 a year and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.
3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.

4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
5. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
6. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

You live in New York City when...
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.
3. You can get into a 4-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
4. You think Central Park is "nature".
5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
6. You've worn out a car horn.
7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You live in Maine when...
1. You only have 4 spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

You live in the Deep South when...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3. After five years you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are ya?"
4. "He needed killin'" is a valid defense.
5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.

You live in Colorado when...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop you $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home, and he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You live in the Midwest when...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "a/c" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip to any exotic place was, you say, "It was different!"

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Leslie

Bus Fumes

Oh, sure. Blame the casino. Blame the lifestyle. Blame anyone but your stupid, selfish self.
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If they really want to piss us off, they'll do this.
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Leslie

Chartered Excursion -- Athens

Somebody in the blogosphere was bitching yesterday because none of the U.S. gold medal winning athletes "really sang" the National Anthem on the podium. Obviously the women's soccer team was listening. They can't sing worth a darn... but they sure made up in enthusiasm what they lacked in talent! Damn, Ladies. You really made me proud.

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Kudos to these guys for holding up admirably under pressure.

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These two guys are another class act. Congrats, boys!

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No matter who you're rooting for, I think this will be an emotionally tough game to watch.

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Leslie

Drive-Bys

News like this sure is refreshing.
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Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!! Sorry. I just find this hilarious. Doesn't happen enough, in my opinion.
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Irony? What irony?
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Leslie

Rest Stops

Those goofy boys are at it again. Bill tries to one-up Rob and company. Paul also puts his two cents in. Boys, boys, boys!
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And then there's that whole Dave Matthews band tour bus debacle going on here in Chi-Town.

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Yes, indeedy. It seems a shitstorm is definitely blowing!

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Leslie

Roadside Diversions

Carnival of the Vanities
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Bonfire of the Vanities
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Leslie

VIP Pass

Met (and danced with) Mekhi Phifer of ER fame last night. What a lovely, down-to-earth guy. (His handlers, on the other hand, were ruder than rude.) Huh. Stuff like this just never happens to me.
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Leslie

Bus Fumes

I think really hard about what I'm going to write, because the word, once written down, can't be taken back. So this just makes me crazy.

"The [internet] technology, which allows its users to inflict pain without being forced to see its effect, also seems to incite a deeper level of meanness. Psychologists say the distance between bully and victim on the Internet is leading to an unprecedented - and often unintentional - degree of brutality, especially when combined with a typical adolescent's lack of impulse control and underdeveloped empathy skills."

Again, WHERE are their parents???
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This guy creeps me out. Always has. Always will.

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Leslie

The End of the Line

This great lady made it possible for my dad to die with dignity, in his own home, on his own terms. If you ever need to have hospice care for someone you love, you'll understand why I am so grateful for Elizabeth Kubler-Ross' contributions to our understanding of the death and dying process.
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Leslie

Rest Stops

Just read it and giggle. A lot.
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Leslie

Chartered Excursion -- Athens

This guy is a class act.
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My heart goes out to Paul Hamm. It's a shame this Olympic experience will always be tainted for him. He has done absolutely nothing wrong, and he has behaved in a gentlemanly and sportsmanlike manner. Let's point the finger squarely at the judges -- who deserve the distain. Leave the athlete out of it, already.
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The golden girls of summer did us proud!
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I'm still rooting for these guys. Just imagine. We may actually see Iraq on the podium! Hot diggitty!
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Leslie

Bus Fumes

Where are the parents of these little monsters??? Unbelievable. No wonder schools can't keep good teachers.
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Leslie

Drive-Bys

If the chess club and audio/visual club were too hip for the likes of you, there's a club that would love to have you.
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Kind of ironic that this is the fashion this summer, no?
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I sure do like seeing good news about good kids every once in a while. Refreshing, isn't it?
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Karma. You've gotta love it.
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Pocket Guide to the Blogosphere. Indispensible! (A tip of the cap to Kevin at Wizbang.)
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Leslie

Bus Driver's Observations

I want to be Cher when I grow up. Even if it's only so someone will start a rumor like this about me.
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Huh. Maybe he's on to something.
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Leslie

Rest Stops

Blackfive has a question for you. (Well, would you?)
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Leslie

The Campaign Trail

The answer to this question is, "Yes -- but not the only issue." At least for me, anyway.
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Leslie

Bus Fumes

Aw, c'mon! Dating in reality is hard enough. This is ridiculous.
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Say WHAT??? I've heard of the "nanny state" before, but this takes the cake. Gah!
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Yup. This is very good news. I hope Sadr realizes just how tightly he's got it in a knot.
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See? I told you those wacky Krauts will acquit just about anybody.
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Leslie

From the Rowdies in the Back of the Bus

Wow! I actually got Denny's Monday Pun onto the 'Bus on a Monday!
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Potential new synchronized sports for the next Olympics? (A tip of the cap to Sgt. Hook.)
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My buddy Dan from the Clothing Optional Joke List sends this:

A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend. She was thrilled at the speed.

'If I do 250 kph, will you take off your clothes?' he smirked.


'Yes,' said his adventurous girlfriend. And as he gets up to 250, she peeled off all her clothes.

Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over. The naked girl was thrown clear, but the man was jammed beneath the steering wheel.

'Go and get help!' he cried.

'But I can't! I'm naked and my clothes are gone!'

'Take my shoe' he said 'and cover yourself.'

Holding the shoe over her privates, the girl ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, 'Please help me! My boyfriend's stuck!'

The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, 'Lady, There's nothing I can do. He's in too far.'

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From Lionel and Shell, more laughs than you can shake a stick at.
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Kevin has an unobstructed view. Whew!
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Paul gives a dandy lesson in how to handle a door-to-door salesman. Heh!
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Leslie

Traveling Companions

It seems Ditto has gotten loose in Redding, CA. Have you seen her? (If so, contact Clayton Cramer at "blogmail at claytoncramer dot com". (Die, spambots, die!) Include the word "spamIamnot" in the subject line.) Many thanks!
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Leslie

Roadside Diversions

If you haven't stopped by the Carnival of the Capitalists before, you should give it a whirl.
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And if that's not enough, the Carnival of the Dogs is up, too!
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For all you folks who miss Julia Child, here's a new diversion for you: Carnival of the Recipes. Yum, yum, YUM!
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Leslie

Book Your Ticket

It was a busy reading weekend (during commercials and in between Olympic sporting events):

Finished "Beach Girls" on the train back from Ravinia Friday night. As always, I just wanted to feel sand and surf between my toes and go hug a friend after reading her stuff. These books are as comfy as an old scruffy sweatshirt and a pair of beat-up jeans.
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Nicholas Sparks is another author who, even though you just know he's going to make you cry at least once, always serves up a good story. "Nights in Rodanthe" is a quick and satisfying read.
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Golf has always placed high on the sports events watched in my family. My all-time favorite player is Payne Stewart. I always loved his passion for golf, his devil-may-care attitude when speaking with the press, and his sartorial fashion sense. I distinctly remember the day his plane went AWOL -- I listened to the description on the radio in the car on the way to work, and followed on Drudge all day with my heart in my throat. Anyway, I knew that I'd be blubbering all the way through the end of this book (and I did), but I really enjoyed his authorized biography. I already admired the man. Now I hold him in the highest of esteem.
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A couple of bodice-rippers I refuse to name. (Hey! I needed a little fluff after reading about Payne Stewart and reading Nicholas Sparks.)
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Got about two-thirds of the way through "The Roadshow: Spangle #1" by Gary Jennings. Set right after the end of the Civil War, it's about a struggling traveling circus and all the misfits it absorbs along the way. I'm enjoying it tremendously, so far, as it's laugh out loud funny. So funny, in fact, that I bopped over to Amazon.com and ordered books #2 and #3. [Note to Mom: You're not getting this one back. It goes on the "keep" shelf.]
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See? I told you it was a busy reading weekend!
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Leslie

Chartered Excursion -- Athens

Men's Gymanastics hotties: Paul and Morgan Hamm, Marian Dragulescu, Jordan Jovtchev. Yum!

Women's Gymnastics sweethearts and good sports: Carly Patterson, Courtney Kupets, Courtney McCool, Annia Hatch, Terin Humphrey.

The diva I just can't bring myself to hate: Svetlana Khorkina.

Track gods and godesses: Deena Kastor, Justin Gatlin, Maurice Green and Shawn Crawford, Ala'a Jassim, Rakia Al Gassra.

Heartbreak kids: Gail Devers, Paula Radcliffe, Stacy Dragila, Alan Webb, Laura Wilkerson.

Took my breath away this weekend: USA Men's and Women's rowing 8s, Michael Phelps for giving up his spot on the Men's 4 X 4 Relay Team, the USA Women's Relay Team, Chantelle Newbury,

Other teams I'm rooting for: Iraqi Soccer, USA Women's Soccer, USA Men's and Women's Beach Volleyball, USA Men's and Women's Indoor Volleyball, USA Women's Softball, USA Men's Water Polo.
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Leslie

The Campaign Trail

To answer that question in one word: NO!
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Leslie

Bus Fumes

Arghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is there anyone the German courts won't acquit???
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It's about time this bastard was tried in civil court. I hope those families wipe him out financially -- forever. I can't imagine the amount of pain and suffering he has caused for so many.
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She's just getting scared now? Jeez! Those must have been some mighty good drugs to have numbed her brain so completely. (I wonder just how pink she'd be if...)
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Great title. Infuriating subject. And if you think this set my hair on fire, go read what Meryl has to say on the subject.
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Speaking of setting my hair on fire, I double dog dare you to read this and not feel the same way. What is wrong with people??? What happened to truth, justice and the American way?
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Bwaaahahahahahaha!!! It really wasn't that great, Janet.
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Great. Just great. Bastards.
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Leslie

Down Memory Lane

Gosh, I haven't thought about playing this game in years. The object was always to pick the weakest person to attack. The same was true in games like Duck-Duck-Goose, Musical Chairs, Red Rover, Dodgeball and Kickball. Mean little boogers, weren't we?
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Leslie

Bus Driver's Observations

Sounds like an open invitation to divorce court to me.
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Well, where's the fun in this? Or this? (Okay, that second one might be a little bit amusing... Especially... No. Read the post below. You'll get what I mean.)
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Speaking of dating, believe it or not, I had another decent date last night. Different guy, but very nice. Good dinner, good conversation, total gentleman. Yippee, Skippy -- I seem to be on a roll lately.

My definition of a decent date? Well, I didn't want to punch him, and I didn't want to run away. That's a pretty good start for me. Actually, I'm getting better and supressing the wanting to punch thing... but the being poised to run is going to take some work on my part... and a very patient guy.

I didn't used to hate dating (okay, that was in high school and college -- over by about 1981 or '82), but, boy, howdy, do I hate it now. Over time I've done ads in the Chicago Reader, video dating (it was a free gift certificate), singles dances, blind dates, date-dates and more, and the thing I hate most of all is the fact that dating has become just like everything else in modern day life -- way too much information, way too much expectation, way too fast. I've met some good guys over time, but the Way-Too-Three thing always blew what might have had a chance to be a real relationship... rather than a drive-by. And I've had so many drive-bys since 1989 that you'd think I was living on the south side of Chicago, instead of the north.

The whole punch and run thing was really deeply imprinted on my psyche in my second-to-last "date" ago. I'd only met the guy (let's call him "The Jerk") once, and talked to him for less than an hour. He's probably got 5 to 10 years on me. We talked about baseball (hate it), politics (I have some strong opinions) and the global business community. The Jerk seemed decent enough at the time. He asked me out, and I agreed to meet him at my local neighborhood tavern about a week later. (I know almost everyone in there, and figured I couldn't be safer anywhere, except if my father were alive and sitting next to me with a baseball bat.)

The first indication that things were not going to go well was when, before I could even sit down at the bar, he announced that he hadn't realized that the place didn't take credit cards, and he had no cash. Great. Just great. I paid for the first round and pointed out the ATM a half a block down the street.

The second big "uh-oh" was that all my friends shifted to the opposite end of the bar when he walked back in. It's never a good sign when the friendliest people in the neighborhood treat the new guy like he's got a bad case of cooties. Big honking hairy cooties.

The third big eye-opener was when he ordered an entree for himself, and didn't offer to order anything for me.

So, irritated though I was, we made a little small talk, and I mentioned that I really, um, dislike the haste with which most dating relationships accelerate these days. That I've gotten pretty old-fashioned about things like, oh, you know, getting to know someone well, respect, space. He looked me dead in the eye, gave me one of those little "you say you want a nice boy, but I know you really want a bad boy" grins, stroked the back of my hand and told me, "Your eyes look really sexy when you say that. Can I kiss you now?" (This is where the desire to punch kicked in. Hard. Really hard. Really, really hard.)

"Okay," I think to myself, "I can get through this with some dignity and still never have to see this jerk again." So I put on my best "I'm being really polite, but you're really beginning to piss me off" smile. Then he launches into a tale involving his PI license, his bicycle, and the last time he got arrested. Woohoo. That's such a turn-on. (This, of course, is where the urge to run, run away now! kicked in.) And of course he wanted to call me again. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It wouldn't be so bad, I guess, if this gem of a guy hadn't been a composite of just about all the men I've dated over the last fifteen years (with the exception of the last two, and it's still too soon to tell in both instances).

So if I get excited because I didn't want to punch a guy or run away, you'll know it's actually a compliment. I think. Yep. It is.
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Leslie

Roadside Diversions

Carnival of the Liberated is up at SoundFury. Stop on by and see where the Iraqis think we've got it right... and wrong.
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Leslie

Wide Open Spaces

Is Spirit getting old and arthritic?
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Is it me, or is there a scary, Big Brother aspect to this that wipes out the cool factor of the technology itself?
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Leslie

Book Your Ticket

Just started "Beach Girls" by Luanne Rice. She's another author I just love. Hope I like this one a whole lot more than the Archy McNally fiasco I just finished.
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Leslie

PSA

I received not one, but two notices of foster homes urgently needed for purebred cat rescues:

First: "CA - EMERGENCY SITUATION! Please call me if you can help!!

"Emergency situation with purebreds seized in LA area - we don't know all the breeds yet except for Scottish Folds, they think also Sphynx and MCs [Maine Coons] and possible Persians... but there could be other breeds.. The A/C is talking about putting them all down TODAY since the owner signed them over today. If you can foster, you must know that you WILL need to be able to isolate these cats, they may well be ill some reports suggest they may have mild URI sxs and possibly diarrhea (if accurate, may well be from stress).

"Please call me at 888-303-9454 toll free ASAP if you can foster temporarily. There is NO time and I won't have particulars until I speak to them so please don't call just to ask for more details only, especially if you aren't in the area and can't help!

"If you can help and do call and I don't answer - don't leave voice mail. Call back in 10-15 minutes. The only reason I won't answer is that I'm on the phone long distance with animal control or a shelter and can't interrupt the conversation."

Linda Pollack Mercer, M.D.
CFA Purebred Rescue Coordinator,
Director,
Operation Noble Foster,
Director,
Purebred Cat Breed Rescue,
Director, Persian Cat Rescuse,
Founder & Volunteer, The Feline Rescue Network,
Moderator & Owner, The Persian Rescue Email List
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Second, there's a desperate situation in Canada:

"I have a friend, Ann, living in Mississauga, Ontario, Canada, whose husband left her leaving Ann and her six cats destitute. I'm hoping that someone can help her by taking in one or more of her cats. She does have four carriers (one's a double) but has no means to ship them. She's expecting to be evicted any time.

"Here is a list of the kitties:

Samantha, F, DOB 1/30/90 - A Ruddy Abyssisinian
Logan, M, DOB 12/23/93 - A Chocolate Spotted Ocicat
Rembrandt (Remy), M, DOB 3/16/94 - A Seal Point Siamese
Tai, M, DOB 6/30/96, A Seal Lynx Point Javanese
BB, M, DOB 12/30/96 - A Blue Mackerel Tabby (long haired) Oriental and a Grand Premier
Brandy, F, DOB 11/11/97 - A Silver Patched Mackerel Tabby Maine Coon
Mikey, M, DOB 1/23/98, A Seal Point White Cornish Rex

"Can anyone help?"

If you can assist, please contact MKonary@aol.com. Thanks!
_____

Remember -- To foster doesn't necessarily mean to adopt. It means giving temporary shelter and care to an animal in dire need until a "Forever Home" can be found.
Leslie

The Roadside Diner

Barrie, I think this sandwich is misnamed. Sounds like something you might have dreamed up after an evening of Emil's and Stocks & Blondes. It's got all the right ingredients!
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Leslie

Roadside Diversions

If you don't have anything better to do on August 27th, the town of Alton Towers in Staffordshire, England has a proposition for you.
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The Carnival of the Vanities celebrates its 100th edition over at Fringeblog.
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Leslie

Rubber-Necking

Serious whiplash alert here. (My back and shoulders ache just thinking about this!)
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I just can't stop laughing about this. Oh, the pun of it all!
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Proof once again that stupidity never goes out of style. Nor does bad taste.
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Wow. (But methinks the man just might have too much time on his hands.... Nah. I take it back. These are truly beautiful works of art.)
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Leslie

Bus Fumes

I told you so. I told you so. I told you so. And if you didn't believe me at the time, you should have believed Phil Carter. How much to you want to bet that the major media outlets still don't pick this one up?
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Leslie

Wide Open Spaces

Spirit has finally sniffed out traces of water on Mars.
_____

Cassini discovers Saturn has two more moons than we knew about.
_____

U.S. looking to resume Space Shuttle flights in March. It's about time!
_____

J-Walk says you can calculate the speed of light with marshmallows. If any of y'all try this, I'd love to hear your results. Sounds like junk (food) science to me...
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Leslie

Traveling Companions

Marilyn usually sits on top of my monitor... but this got her sitting in front of it, instead! (Thanks, Elizabeth!)
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Leslie

From the Rowdies in the Back of the Bus

My brother-in-law Fred tipped me that CNN is reporting that Lance Armstrong may be stripped of his 6th Tour de France title. In a random check for banned substances, three were found in Armstrong's hotel room.

The three substances banned by the French found in the hotel room were as follows:

a. Toothpaste
b. Deodorant
c. Soap

The French officials also found several other items which they had never seen before, including a testicle and a backbone.
_____

Eric wants you to take the "How Manly Are You?" quiz.
_____

Does a bear do WHAT in the woods???
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Leslie

Roadside Diversions

The Bonfire of the Vanities is up at a fellow cat-blogger's place.
_____

What in the heck is a Salami Tsunami? Go find out for yourself. It'll make your head spin. I promise. And if you're not dizzy enough by the time you get through that, then go take a peek at the Pork Tornado.
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Leslie

From the Rowdies in the Back of the Bus

Denny does it again! Hot damn!
_____

Elizabeth says there's a New Homeland Security Bill:

The new Homeland Security Bill just passed. Things will be a little different now since Internet surfing will be tracked by the FBI with a new, non-intrusive method. The FBI says users will not notice anything different during their websurfing. Click here for a demonstration.
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Leslie

Traveling Companions

Obviously my cat Marilyn Monrex (calico Devon Rex with a strategically placed "beauty spot" (the third cat down this link looks a lot like her, but is not quite as pretty)) was misnamed. Since she displays both Feline Limpet Disorder and Feline Narcicism, perhaps her name should have been "Sybil" instead. Can you find your cat in here?
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Leslie

Book Your Ticket

Pejman feels the same way about books as I do...
_____

What's in my tote bag tonight? The new Arch McNally by Vincent Lardo writing as Lawrence Sanders. I've gotta tell you... McNally's Dare just ain't up to snuff. The writing is strained (okay, strangled), and Lardo just doesn't produce the same snappy, breezy tone to this as he's managed in the past. Damn. Usually I love these books. I think I'll put on my puce beret and pout for a while.

Update: Yep. I was right. It's like expecting white chocolate raspberry mousse and getting Nilla Wafers instead. Sigh.
_____

Leslie

Roadside Diversions

It's been a crazy day here, so posting will be all but non-existent today.
_____

Do stop by and see the Carnival of the Cats, though. Once again, your Driver has earned a spot on the marquee -- two, in fact.
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Leslie

Rubber-Necking

Whiplash warning. Really.
_____

Geez! And Michele thinks she's got lousy neighbors...
_____

What posesses people?
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Leslie

Bus Fumes

Another shining example of politically correct wingnuttery.
_____

This made my hair stand on end. Somebody in Maine needs to amend a law... and FAST.
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Leslie

Traveling Companions

This is a bad, bad, bad idea. Unless you've really socialized your cat, this would be highly stressful for the animal. And that's just if you're bringing your cat into a restaurant full of people only. Bringing it into a room full of strange cats is just asking for World War III to break out.

Cats aren't dogs (that's what makes them so charming), so the good folks at Meow Mix shouldn't expect them to behave like a dog would in this situation. Some dingbat publicist who never owned a cat in his or her life dreamt up this little disaster waiting to happen.
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Leslie

The Campaign Trail

Tom takes on the Keyes/Obama interviews. I think he's spot on.
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If you like the humor in The Onion, you're going to love this.
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Leslie

Driving Conditions

What happened to the Dog Days of August? It's freezing here in Chicago, folks.
_____

But, then again, I could be in Charley's path right now. I'd rather freeze that be blown away. Thank goodness Mom is in Chicago and not in Sarasota at the moment. Mom's got some very good friends down there, so I'll be praying a lot for all of them.
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Leslie

The End of the Line

God's going to be eating well from now on. I remember watching The French Chef with my mom when I was growing up. Any woman who believes in salt, fat and carbohydrates as much as she did is A-OK with me. Farewell, Julia!
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Leslie

Wide Open Spaces

It's images like this that make me happy that NASA is going to keep the Hubble Telescope functional.
_____

Want to help fund an X-Prize team? You, too, can own the twisted bits of a rocketeer's dreams.
_____

Genesis will be dropping off a package in September. Can't wait to see what's in it!
_____

Lest we forget, here are a few things to remember. (Apparently this woman didn't get that message.)
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Leslie

From the Rowdies in the Back of the Bus

It's another spew alert. This guy's story is hilarious.
_____

Remind me never to go on a cross-country trip
with this guy! (Although I do believe he'd get along famously with my brother. They're absolute soul mates on this topic.)
_____

The famous Olympic skier Picabo (pronounced "Peek-A-Boo") Street is not just an athlete, she is a nurse. She currently works in the Intensive Care Unit of a large Metropolitan Hospital. However, she is not permitted to answer the telephone while she is at work. It simply caused too much confusion when she would answer the phone and say: "Picabo, ICU." (Thanks, Deborah!)
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Elizabeth sends this little ditty:

A guy gets a new dog, a nice Jewish dog. He names the dog Einstein and trains Einstein to do a couple of tricks. He can't wait to show Einstein off to his neighbor. A few weeks later when the neighbor finally comes over, the guy calls Einstein into the house, bragging about how smart he is. The dog quickly comes running and stands looking up at his master, tail wagging excitedly, mouth open, tongue hanging out, eyes bright with anticipation. The guy points to the newspaper on the couch and commands "Fetch!"

Immediately, the dog climbs onto the couch and sits, his tail wagging furiously. Then all of a sudden, he stops. His doggie smile disappears. He starts to frown and puts on a sour face. Looking up at his master, he whines, "You think this is easy, wagging my tail all the time? Oy vey .. And you think it's easy eating that junk that you call designer dog food? Forget it ... it's too salty and it gives me gas. It's disgusting I tell you!"

The neighbor is absolutely amazed ... stunned. In astonishment, he says, "I can't believe it. Einstein can speak. Your dog actually talks. You asked him to fetch the newspaper and he is sitting on the sofa talking to us."

"I know, I know," says the dog owner. "He's not yet fully trained. He thought I said kvetch."
_____

And this funny story: LIVING YOUR REDNECK DREAMS!

True Story............

Larry Walters is among the relatively few who have actually turned their dreams into reality. His story is true, though you may find it hard to believe.

Larry was a truck driver, but his lifelong dream was to fly. When he graduated from high school, he joined the Air Force in hopes of becoming a pilot. Unfortunately, poor eyesight disqualified him. So when he finally left the service, he had to satisfy himself with watching others fly the fighter jets that crisscrossed the skies over his backyard. As he sat there in his lawn chair, he dreamed about the magic of flying.

Then one day, Larry Walters got an idea. He went down to the local Army-Navy surplus store and bought a tank of helium and forty-five weather balloons. These were not your brightly colored party balloons, these were heave-duty spheres measuring more than four feet across when fully inflated. Back in his yard, Larry used straps to attach the balloons to his lawn chair, the kind you might have in your own back yard.

He anchored the chair to the bumper of his jeep and inflated the balloons with helium. Then he packed some sandwiches and drinks and loaded a BB gun, figuring he could pop a few of those balloons when it was time to return to earth.His preparations complete, Larry Walters sat in his chair and cut the anchoring cord. His plan was to lazily float back down to terra firma. But things didn't quite work out that way.

When Larry cut the cord, he didn't float lazily up; he shot up as if fired from a cannon! Nor did he go up a couple hundred feet. He climbed and climbed until he finally leveled off at eleven thousand feet! At that height, he could hardly risk deflating any of the balloons, lest he unbalance the load and really experience flying! So he stayed up there, sailing around for fourteen hours, totally at a loss as to how to get down.

Eventually, Larry drifted into the approach corridor for Los Angeles International Airport. A Pan Am pilot radioed the tower about passing a guy in a lawn chair at eleven thousand feet with a gun in his lap. (Now there's a conversation I'd have given anything to have heard!)

LAX is right on the ocean, and you may know that at nightfall, the winds on the coast begin to change. So, as dusk fell, Larry began drifting out to sea.

At that point, the Navy dispatched a helicopter to rescue him. But the rescue team had a hard time getting to him, because the draft from their propeller kept pushing his homemade contraption farther and farther away. Eventually they were able to hover over him and drop a rescue line with which they gradually hauled him back to earth.

As soon as Larry hit the ground, he was arrested. But as he was being led away in handcuffs, a television reported called out, "Mr. Walters, why'd you do it?"

Larry stopped, eyed the man, then replied nonchalantly, "A man can't just sit around."

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Leslie

Rubber-Necking

Spew alert. This is funny on so many levels I don't even know where to begin. Gotta love them Brits and the funny names they have for things... and for themselves.
_____

Blech. How could anyone do this to themself?
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Leslie

Bus Fumes

What do you say we toss him off the terrace into traffic and see how much he likes it?
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Leslie

The Campaign Trail

Cindy Adams has tips for anyone attending the Republican National Convention in NYC. Pay attention!
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Leslie

Roadside Diversions

Carnival of the Vanities is up at Smallest Minority.
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Leslie

Rubber-Necking

Just when you think a human being can't possibly get any more stupid, some idiot steps up to prove you wrong. (Thanks, Elizabeth!)
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Leslie

From the Rowdies in the Back of the Bus

This guy just cracks me up.
_____

Even though it's Wednesday, go see Denny's Monday Pun anyway.
_____

Elizabeth wants to see this story made into a movie. It'd be an epic, don't you think? (Bless their cockle-pickin' hearts!)
_____

Leslie

Wide Open Spaces

Look! The skies are celebrating my birthday!
_____

I stumbled over this site today. Yippee! A portal to Saturn, Mars and more. Way cool.
_____

It's been a bad week for X-Prize teams. Back to the drawing board, kids.
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Leslie

Down Memory Lane

It's back! I think I'm going to have to get some for TMBCITW. In fact, I might have to get some for myself, too. Nope. I'm never going to grow up completely.
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Leslie

Roadside Diversions

Remember when your mom told you, "Don't play with your food"? Who knew she was stifling an art form?
_____

Time on your hands with nothing better to do? Then stop off here. (And, yes. I tried it. From this day forward, my squirrel name is Dave McBushy. Heh!) And if you're still in need of diversions, go here. After all, National Talk Like A Pirate Day is coming up soon. (And the answer is: Black William Kidd. Jeez! What's with the guy names?) (Anyway, a tip of the cap to my Blog Mom -- without whom this blog wouldn't have been birthed.)
_____


Bonfire of the Vanities is up at Kevin Donohue's blog. It'll warm the cockles of your heart... or set your hair on fire.
_____
Leslie

PSA

This is really sad, as panleukopenia is totally preventable through regular vaccination. How do I know? My cat club has been dedicated to feline health and welfare... and educating the public about feline health issues... for a long time. Love your pet? Then vaccinate, dammit!
_____

Paul has a PSA, too. Anyone who's ever tried to comfort a crying child will appreciate this. And my brother will, just because of the subject.
_____

UPDATE: The Cat Fanciers' Association is providing disaster assistance in the aftermath of Hurricane Charley. Pam Delabar, a CFA Board Member, and a frequent disaster rescue volunteer, says, "Why money instead of supplies??? We usually end up with more food and litter than can be used - and if a shelter needs a generator in order to provide relief for animals in disaster, then we can get the generator, etc." And the CFA website notes that they are rescuing everything from hamsters to horses. Please open your hearts (and your checkbooks) today.
Leslie

The End of the Line

Gypsy Boots, one of the original Nature Boys, has died at age 89. You've got to love a guy who embraced life as much as he did.
_____

Farewell, Fay Wray!
_____
Leslie

Wide Open Spaces

Wahoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Excuse me while I take a moment to do the Myposian Dance of Joy on my desk...) It's about time NASA got this one right!
_____

It's almost nap time for Spirit and Opportunity. But before they toddle off to the Land of Nod, they've sent this enticing little tidbit.
_____


Leslie

Bus Fumes

If it's not genocide, then what in God's name is it exactly???
_____

Would you wear one of these? I can't imagine putting my vision at risk for the sake of fashion.
_____

This is good news. I can think of at least one therapist and one psychiatrist who I wish had had to be accountable for the outcome of their "therapeutic services."
_____

It's deja vu all over again. To quote Peter, Paul & Mary: "When will they ever learn? Oh, when will they ever learn?"
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Leslie

Roadside Diversions

Carnival of the Cats. Just go enjoy yourself!
_____
Leslie

The Campaign Trail

Can you say "right-threaded wingnut"??? I listened to his acceptance speech, and this is one SCARY guy. He's probably good pals with Jerry Falwell. At one point during his speech, he reminded me distinctly of a far right-wing Howard Dean.

Obama has politely asked Keyes to stick to the issues and avoid character assassination. Even as far to the left as he is, Obama is looking better and better to me all the time.
_____

I'm as concerned with character as I am with the issues this year. This bothers me. Does that mean I don't think that Bush has prevaricated? No. That's a part of politics sometimes. But why bring something up that you know is fact-checkable and totally untrue? I'm truly stumped here.
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Leslie

Hazards Ahead

Wouldn't you think this would be pretty damned obvious? For goodness sakes, cell phone distraction is bad enough. My guess is those DVD players will be installed in the dashboards of many a future Darwin Award winner.
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Leslie

Wide Open Spaces

Another X-Prize contender fizzles out spectacularly. Better luck next time, fellas!
_____

Rovers pave the way for comprehending Mars. (Be sure to click on the thumbnail photos. Very cool!)
_____

Damn! A major instrument aboard the Hubble Telescope may be dead.
_____

"Japanese boffins build Dalek-style robot guards" Bwaaaaahahahahahaha!
_____
Leslie

End of the Line

There are two people I'd like to say good-bye to today:

This
wonderful little girl, who touched many, many people.

And my friend Victor, whose funeral I attended Monday.


Victor was a pain in the ass... and my pal.

I met Vic through my
cat club (yes, cat club). He'd been a member of Lincoln State for a long time before I joined, but he welcomed me warmly... then set me to work. For the past several years he's been our Show Manager -- a thankless, miserable job that's comparable to herding cats on horseback for an entire year at a time. Our club is a not-for-profit, with members from Illinois and Wisconsin (and at one point, also from Indiana). A group of about 12-20 members at any given time. Volunteers, one and all. A most unlikely army, but Vic was always up to the task.

Why? Well, Vic was one of the most organized people I ever met. He juggled membership in a number of cat clubs (besides LSCC), showing his own cats several weekends a month, maintaining a
cattery, running a family, and running his own business. I think the reason he was so good at it is that, like a good general, he was great at giving orders no one would dare to disobey. Not family, not friends, and certainly not volunteers. Yes, he liked to be in charge.

For example, because of Vic, I've been on television (local access cable and three different regular networks) and three different radio shows over the last several years. Why? As Vic put it, "Nobody else is willing to do it. You're too stupid to be scared, and persistent enough to be effective at getting us publicity on the air." Yep. That was my pal. But, as crazy as he could make you with fourteen billion phone calls a day asking if you'd completed your latest assignment yet, he was always great at saying "thank-you" and "well done" when you did something right.

Although I have not shown at all recently, I spent a lot of weekends at cat shows with Vic over the years. He was the first breeder to plop a
Somali in my hands to show me the finer points of the breed. And when I needed someone to agent my Devon Rex champion, Peanut, at a show up in Milwaukee, Vic was the first to volunteer. (Of course, he came to regret that choice. Peanut took a power dump -- as only a Devon can do -- in her carrier on the trip home. Vic said he and Pam spent the last 50 miles of the trip with their heads stuck out the windows of the Suburban. Heh!)

Vic also knew a bazillion people in the cat fancy, and he introduced me to many judges, clerks and breeders/exhibitors from all over the U.S. I made many, many good friends because of him.

Nobody liked a good dinner out like Vic. His favorite place of all time was Harvey's Prime Rib in Clarendon Hills. But anywhere that had good prime rib and great cocktails was alright with him. Being diabetic, he was supposed to be careful with his diet... but anyone who traveled to shows will tell you the most frequent words out of his mouth were "Don't tell Pam" as he was about to indulge in another naughty no-no. Show night Saturdays were special, indeed.


As opinionated and pushy as Vic could be, one of the most endearing things about him was his absolute blindness to color, creed or sexual preference. He looked straight into your heart and based his friendships on what he saw there alone. His friends saw that right away. As far as Vic was concerned, anyone who didn't get it didn't matter.

The other thing people always understood about him, whether they liked him or not, was that he adored his wife, kids and grandchild. Family was first. No question.

Beloved husband, father and grandfather, respected architect and pain-in-the-ass pal. I miss him already. I can't imagine what it will be like to hold a club meeting without him. I do know that he's over the Rainbow Bridge with pets and friends who went on before him. And I'll take some comfort in that.
_____
Leslie