Tootin' The Horn

Here's wishing you a blessed ending to 2009 and a wonderful 2010!
_____

One more thing -- I swiped this from John Ruberry, because I'm a sentimental softie and it made me cry:

Drive-Bys

Nightmares:


see more Political Pictures

If I have to put up with really bizarre nightmares while I'm in the process of quitting smoking, you get to share them with me.
_____

Speaking of nightmares, how'd you like to come home to this?

A pickup truck went off a railroad viaduct and crashed into a house this afternoon in the city's West Lawn community, authorities said.

Yeesh! That had to hurt.
_____

Napolitano says the U.S. will "find and fix" the systems vulnerabilities? Yeah, right. Only if they start with her. Hard to believe an agency like Homeland Security can succeed if the word "terrorist" isn't even allowed in their vocabulary.

Update: Nice to see that Janet's focusing on the really important issues when it comes to national security. Oh, that she would get in her pickup truck and drive off into the sunset just like another (in)famous Janet did... and would that she be just as successful. Heh.

Update II: My friend Steve has so many things go wrong on his return from Mexico, I won't even begin to try and enumerate them. Go read his whole post. When are we going to get over our crazy political correctness and put the focus on people who just might hate us and want to blow up our planes, instead of frisking grandmas and shaking babies upside down?

Update III: Nice to see the TSA is also focusing on the important issues regarding air travel security.

Is anyone in the government focusing more on actual issues than on ass-covering these days?
_____

I had lunch at this cool new French Market with two of my coworkers today. One had chicken curry from Chundy's Bistro, one had a really cool vegan/raw spaghetti and meatballs from Raw and I had a lunch box containing French cheeses, olives, seasoned blanched almonds and a baguette from Pastoral. It was all delicious. And then we brought goodies back from Provo's Village Bake Shop and Delightful Pastries.

The thing I like best about the Chicago French Market is that people strolling up and down the aisles all have big smiles on their faces, because there's so much to choose from and it all looks so darned wonderful. (Note: Produce Express had bunches of fresh thyme, basil and other herbs for $1 a bunch. At the grocery stores in my town, far smaller bunches go for three times that price!)

If you work anywhere near the Loop or travel through Ogilvy Transportation Center, you should stop by and give it a try.
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Giggles of the Day:


see more Engrish

... and...


see more Engrish

Oddly, they kind of sound like poetry to me... or yoga positions.

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Quote of the Day:

The tail is an actual pocket!

Woot!

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Interesting. A judge actually takes the first legal step towards admitting and punishing reverse discrimination. Hot diggity!

Manufacturer's Guarantee

Janet Napolitano, manufacturer and purveyor of codswallop extraordinaire, says that the underpants bomber is a lone nutjob.

That's not what the lone nutjob says.

I don't know about you, but I'm not buying Napolitano's guarantee.

Quick Stop

Just a quick note to let you know that, despite this...


see more Epic Fails

... Therapy Night continues apace on Tuesdays. Lloyd's at 1 S. Wacker Drive is the place. Any time after 5:00 p.m. is the time. Consider yourselves welcomed!

And, yes...


see more Lolcats and funny pictures

... I did.

Well, Phooey

I wanted to be the first Saint Omnibus.

Emissions Test

I'm still not smoking.

I won't claim it's entirely easy, but it's also not as hard this time, and I'm not using any crutches to do it.

I was ready.

I recognize that the little voice of temptation I hear in the back of my head is whiny, manipulative, greedy -- passive-aggressive, actually -- but not so insistent that I can't ignore it when I need to.

I actually think I'm better off doing this cold turkey, as I can't blame anything or anybody but myself if I fail... or if I actually succeed... and I'm going to succeed.

So far, so good.

One minute, one hour, one day at a time.

I'm determined. And I'm winning.

Road Kill

Remember how freaked out I was when the Buckaroo resurfaced after three years of being out of my life?

Well, my planets must be severely out of whack, because my ex-husband finally found me on facebook... after twenty years... and sent me a message on Christmas day.

Look, both are nice guys. And both were NOT the nice guys for me.

I guess this is another karmic lesson in learning how to say "NO" firmly and politely.

Sadly, these guys think I'm a little bit Crystal Gayle:

Whereas, I'd argue I'm more Jo Dee Messina these days:

And I'm more and more that way every day. (Yay!)

In the meantime, would somebody notify the Gods that it's time to realign the planets? Really, I don't need the lesson any more.

Blessings...

My Most Precious Child and her great niece on Christmas Eve.

Holiday Stop

Merry Christmas to you and yours!



I was a Madrigal in high school, and this was always one of my favorites to perform:

Lo, How a Rose E’er Blooming
German Carol, Es Ist Ein Ros Entsprungen, ca. 1500
Translated by Theodore Baker, 1894 (Stanzas 1–2),
Harriet R. Spaeth, 1875 (Stanzas 3–4), and John C. Mattes, 1914 (Stanza 5)

Lo, how a Rose e’er blooming from tender stem hath sprung,
of Jesse’s lineage coming, as men of old have sung.
It came, a flow’ret bright, amid the cold of winter,
when half-spent was the night.

Isaiah ’twas foretold it, the Rose I have in mind;
With Mary we behold it, the virgin mother kind.
To show God’s love aright, she bore to men a Savior,
when half-spent was the night.

The shepherds heard the story, proclaimed by angels bright,
how Christ, the Lord of glory, was born on earth this night.
To Bethlehem they sped and in the manger found him,
as angel heralds said.

This flow’r, whose fragrance tender with sweetness fills the air,
dispels with glorious splendor the darkness ev’rywhere.
True man, yet very God; from sin and death he saves us
and lightens ev’ry load.

O Savior, child of Mary, who felt our human woe;
O Savior, King of glory, who dost our weakness know,
bring us at length, we pray, to the bright courts of heaven
and to the endless day.

Peace on earth; good will toward man!

Flora and Fauna

Pigs flew! Who knew?

Drive-Bys

What do I want for Christmas? I want for this to come true. And it's looking very likely, indeed, that I may get my wish:

Rep. Louise Slaughter (D-N.Y.), the chairwoman of the House Rules Committee and co-chairwoman of the Congressional Pro-Choice Caucus, said that the Senate's bill is so flawed that it's unlikely to be resolved in conference with the bill to have passed the House.

Good.

Don't get me wrong -- I do want health care reform. What I don't want is the horrible mess that Reid and Pelosi have cobbled together and rammed through with zero transparency and in contradiction to the wishes of the majority of the voting public.

Rather, I'm in agreement with Rick Moran:

You don’t need comity between warring parties to get something done on health care. What is needed is the application of common sense and a little prudence. Indeed, prudence has been sacrificed on the altar of process - the abandonment of the principle of “good government” in order to achieve a purely political triumph for the majority.

I'm tired of politicians who are more interested in winning than they are in governing effectively.

And it's no wonder Pelosi and Reid flaunt tradition and rules -- the president himself apparently believes he's above the law:

With logic only a lawyer -- and perhaps only a government lawyer -- could love, the Obama administration is refusing to obey a federal judge's order that agrees with a position the administration supports.

There ya go. The president himself has set the tone.
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Giggle of the Day - Part I:


see more Political Pictures

Why? It reminds me of a number of my gun-toting blogger buddies, who would no doubt be playing "rock, paper, scissors" over who got the next turn...

(And I don't want to leave this guy out of that fraternity. He might never forgive me.)
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Giggle of the Day - Part II

This is the most spit-take laden thing I've seen on Regretsy yet, and that's really going some:

There was only one chapter that I thought was a little light. And believe it or not, that chapter was ‘Vulvacraft”.

Hard to believe isn’t it? This whole site has been up to its ass in bajingo, but the book is light on the vagoo. Go figure.

Go read the whole thing, and try and do it with a straight face.

Rubber-Necking

Noooooooooooo! Mr. Bill, Judy and I passed right by here on our million mile march to Kilmainham Gaol.

Here's the news:

Storage Building Burns

15 Dublin Fire Brigade Companies Respond

2 Firefighters Hospitalized.

Beer Output Unaffected

Whew!

The Magic Bus

Day 5, still no smoking. This is the day when magical thinking finally kicked in -- that dialog between the addictive, craving side of personality that cajoles, wheedles, bullies, pleads and bargains with logic and willpower. Magical thinking is sneaky and insiduous and counterproductive... and very, very tempting.

I'm not giving in today. And it's good that I recognized that this is part of the healing process. But little voices are whispering in my ear.

I need psychic earplugs... and I need them right now!

Drive-Bys

And now I need a bit of a palate-cleanser...
_____

If I was buying blogger Christmas gifts, the Straight White Guy would be getting this.
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I wonder if this chick is related to the goober girlfriend who left all the stupid voicemail messages. How much do you want to bet she is?
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'Tis the Season:


moar funny pictures

Bus Fumes

I may not be smoking... but there's steam pouring out of my ears. Behold:

Regardless of your politics, you need to think very, very hard about this:

IMAB is a board appointed by the President with congressional approval, to submit recommendations on Medicare payments and costs. IMAB is modeled, somewhat, on the Base Closing Commission which made recommendations on shrinking the military base structure in the late 1980s and 1990s.

IMAB's recommendations will have the force of law under the Senate bill unless rejected by Congress in toto. Congress cannot accept one recommendation and reject another.

Even further:

As Erick Erickson points out in a post last night, the Senate legislation on IMAB goes even further than one could imagine. The Senate not only delegates the hard decisions to IMAB, it imposes a very tight timeline for consideration by the Congress, and precludes the Congress from ever changing the legislation.

I cannot fathom that this is Constitutional. I pray that it is not.

In this rush to pass legislation by Christmas, the most fundamental aspect of representative democracy is being lost. The Democrats are about to pass legislation which divests the Congress of its ability to change legislation.

This is what we have come to. A Democratic majority ready to hand over a fundamental aspect of our health care system to an unelected panel without any future Congress being able to change this procedure.

Some readers have e-mailed me asking if this is constitutional. The answer is that I don't know, and in the rush to pass this by the day after tomorrow, no one will have time to fully sort through this issue. But that is the point of the rush. Load up the legislation with so many controversial points that no one can figure it all out prior to the vote.

If that doesn't give you some serious pause for concern, there's something wrong with you.
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Not only is the law in this bill uglier than sin, it is also unevenly applied:

...[C]ontrolling insurance costs is enormously important, unless your very costly insurance is provided by an important Democratic constituency.

The Reid bill also gives a pass on the excise tax to the 17 states with the highest health costs. This provision applied to only 10 states in a prior version, but other Senators made a fuss. So controlling health costs is enormously important, except in the places where health costs need the most control.

Naturally, the Secretary of Health and Human Services will decide how to measure "costs" and therefore which 17 states qualify. (Prediction: Swing states that voted for Mr. Obama in 2008 or have powerful Democratic Senators.)

These 11th-hour indulgences make a hash of Mr. Orszag's cost-control theories and Mr. Obama's cost-control claims. Their spin has been that wise men would convene and make benevolent decisions about everyone's health care based only on evidence and the public good. But as the Reid bill shows, politics will always dominate when Washington is directing a U.S. health industry that is larger than the economy of France.

Some of these things are not like the others.

Nice to know that a lot of folks are more important than you, and that you can just shut up and pay for them to be that way.
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Darling Denny posts The 12 Ways of Obama, ending with...

At the twelfth hour of year one, now spending is a spree
Twelve trillion debit
Laws made in secret,
Nobody's read them,
"Just give me something!
We can fix it later.
Legacy's at stake here,
SOTU's coming,
Soros, call me!!!"
This is hope and change,
In full stride,
At Christmas time,
In a fucked up economy

Too true.
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One more thing -- a little rant on global warming that I wish I'd written:

Climate change is real.

The climate of the planet Earth is constantly changing. It's been up and down like a whore's drawers, and the all that shit about mankind causing it is just that, shit. It's been warmer, it's been colder, it happens all the time, it hasn't wiped out the world yet, and mankind has nothing to do with it.

Come on, a single volcanic eruption pumps more carbon into the atmosphere than humanity can in decades, and even then it's got nothing on water vapor when it comes to atmospheric content and its effect on the climate, and I haven't even brought up sunspots and cosmic rays and their effect on the weather.

Go read the whole thing... and be sure and tip your cap to GuyK for the pointer!

Emission Test

Day 4, and I still haven't had a cigarette. Nope. I didn't plan to quit; it just kind of happened organically.

I've been peeved about the price of a pack of cigarettes (almost $10/pack in the city). I've been peeved about the fact that Virginia Slims seems to have no quality control whatsoever, and one pack never tastes the same as the one before. I've started in on my seasonal smoker's hack. I've been thinking I really ought to quit.

Thursday night I smoked the last one in the pack.

Friday morning I got up, realized I was out of cigarettes and decided that I would try to make it through just one day of not smoking. Friday worked, so I did the same on Saturday. Saturday worked, so I did the same on Sunday. Yes, there's certainly a pull in the middle of my chest from time to time. No, it's not awful. (Yet.)

I must really want to quit this time, as I woke with a start in the middle of the night, realizing that I had inadvertently lit up a cigarette in my dreams and it set off a panic attack.

No patches, no gum, no pills, no excuses. I'm just going to take this one day at a time.

Drive-Bys

Because if I don't laugh, I'll cry...

Karma. It's a beautiful thing.

Swiped from my BlogDaddy:



It was written in the stars that this relationship wouldn't work:

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

And finally, just in case you really needed to know, here are the best places in the world to get naked.

Full Stop

Listen to the whole thing:



The launch of the Titanic was historic, too.

Like the Titanic, it's massive and it's awe-inspiring... but the materials are substandard and rivets are rotten under all that shiny new paint.

I agree with McConnell -- if this was a good piece of legislation, it'd be available for everyone to see and the vote would take place in the clear light of day.

This isn't about giving us good legislation -- it's about "winning" at all costs.

Start rearranging the deck chairs. We're in for a world of hurt.

Quick Stop

see more dog and puppy pictures

I believe.

Bus Fumes

Dear President Chicken Little --

1. The federal government will go bankrupt if healthcare costs are not reined in? Dude! The federal government is already heading in that direction, and it's because you and congress can't seam to rein any costs in. In fact, and correct me if I'm wrong, I believe it was little more than a week ago when you were advocating spending our way out of the recession, when spending more than we make got us into this mess in the first place. So which strategy is correct? Do you spend more or cut more?

2. You're in big trouble when Howard Dean, the SEIU and Roland Burris of all people won't cooperate with the program. Quite frankly, I don't care what their reasons, I just want the particular bill that your pal Harry Reid is trying to cram down our throats stopped.

(And it's the only time I've ever been thankful that Burris did that sneaky and unethical end run around our current governor. I could kiss the little booger right now, though.)

3. You know, it's absolutely ridiculous for you to ask anyone to vote for a $2.5 trillion, 2,074-page bill that nobody's read. It must really suck great big hairy ones, or you'd insist it be put it out for everyone to read, debate and create a groundswell of enthusiasm for.

By hiding it behind locked doors, you guarantee that anyone with half a brain will distrust it, and rightly so. If you don't trust it enough to let us see it, why should we trust you???

4. That "If we don't do it right now we fail forever" thing? It's getting old and no one believes it when you say it. What it really means is, "I want it right now and if you don't give it to me I'm going to hold my breath until I turn blue in the face and then you'll really, really feel guilty. Hah!" That we do get.

4. A leader is someone who creates consensus. A tyrant is someone who forces his will by fear-mongering and intimidation. Guess which one you are not? Nobody likes a bully, dude. And nobody likes a big, whiny baby who is so busy looking backwards and dissing the guy before him that he continually takes his eye off the problems of the present and the future.

5. You're right -- if this turkey isn't voted on before Christmas, it'll never be voted on... but that's not a bad thing. It is a turkey.

6. Quit campaigning and start governing, instead of letting all your henchmen push their own agendas forward while you jaunt all over the world kissing up to our enemies and pissing off our allies.

6. Fix Medicare. Allow health insurance to be purchased across state lines. Streamline claim forms. Push for tort reform. Make those fixes first and let us see that at least one thing you touch doesn't turn into an absolute boondoggle for everyone but the tax paying public.

I hate to tell you this, dude, but that B+? Not so much. D- and falling fast.

Quick Stop

'Tis the Season:

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Drive-Bys

Have you ever thought about adopting a greyhound? If so, the time is now as the need is dire:

Swanson and other greyhound advocates have spent the last few weeks transporting dogs as they become available to avoid a last-minute panic when some 600 Dairyland dogs become suddenly unemployed. Swanson is bracing for a deluge of these gentle creatures -- most of them young, some injured -- who need good homes.

Greyhounds are sweet, docile couch potatoes that make great apartment pets.

You know you want one.

Just do it.
_____

I wish we'd push to legalize pot everywhere, not just in California. It would ease the numbers of people in jail by a huge margin, and take a huge weight off our court system. It would bring in needed tax revenues. I'm all for it.
_____

Last chance for health reform ever? Jeeze, President Chicken Little! Only "The One" can do this? Nobody else could do it better? Really?

Puh-leeze.
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100 Reasons Why Climate Change is Natural

Go read 'em all.

As far as I can tell, the greenies have now invested so much time, money and propaganda that they cannot afford to back down and admit that their numbers are fudged and their research is fracked.
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Chamois Rag

I needed one just now to wipe away the tears and defog the windshield.

I have the best bosses in the world.

They just gave me this for Christmas:


I've been eyeballing them for a while now, but just couldn't bring myself to push the "buy" button.

Do they know me or what?

I'm telling you, these guys rock, and I am a lucky, lucky girl to work for them.

Drive-Bys

So President Chicken Little gives himself a solid B+ for his first year in office? Clearly he's paying no attention whatsoever to what the rest of us think, which puts him at at least a C-, and that's if you're grading on a generous curve.
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In other political news, Houston has elected itself a fiscally conservative mayor:

Parker spoke to reporters Sunday afternoon about her new role as leader of the city. She says one of the first priorities will be tightening the belt on the city's budget.

She said, "In the first months of my administration, I am going to spend a lot of my time telling people no and doing things people aren't going to like."

Parker says she does not anticipate any layoffs but maintaining the same level of service while cutting spending will be difficult.

Yes, indeedy, it would be nice if for once the media would quit making a big deal about race or gender or sexual preference and focus on qualifications and character. That's when we'll know that we've achieved true equality.
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And speaking of being fiscally conservative, maybe we should take a gander at the way Ireland is handling the current economic downturn:

High-paid public sector workers face 20 per cent pay cuts. Brian Cowen, the Taoiseach, is leading from the front taking a fall in salary from 285,583 euros (£259,000) to 228,466 euros (£207,000). The welfare budget is being cut by 4.1 per cent.

Yup. Leadership actually cutting its own salary. Who'da thunk it?

By embracing policies of low taxation, Ireland was transformed from being among the poorest countries in Western Europe to among the richest. Lowest corporate tax rates meant it was a competitive country for multinationals to invest in and to benefit from the well educated work force. Unemployment fell sharply.

Yes, the Celtic Tiger has certainly felt the sting of the downturn. However, its leadership understands that spending one's way out of debt simply doesn't work:

Lenihan also rejected the option of just continuing to borrow and hoping for the best. He said: ‘Some have argued we should continue to borrow and wait for the economy to grow again before tackling the budget deficit. There are three reasons why this is not a viable proposition.

‘First, we know from the 1980s how large deficits, left unchecked, can lead to a dangerous spiral of mounting debt and ever increasing interest payments. Never again should we return to a position where all of our income taxes go to pay interest on the national debt.

‘Second, international debt markets have become more crowded and more fragile. If lenders were to lose faith in our ability to restore order to the public finances, the consequences for our economic well-being would be profound.’

‘Third,’ he added, ‘only decisive action will restore confidence. Consumers will only start to spend and business owners will only invest and create jobs if they believe we are tackling our deficit problem now.’

Lenihan added: ‘In our everyday lives we do not borrow to pay for our household bills. We cut back and seek to live within our means. The same strictures apply at national level. Borrowing hundreds of millions a week to pay for day to day spending is just not on. Stabilising the deficit is the next key milestone in our plan to deliver economic recovery for this country.’

Yes, Ireland gets it.

Lenihan had to make some tough choices on public spending. The elderly have been protected, with no cuts in state pension. But elsewhere the savings are widespread.
Subsidies for everything from housing to the arts are being slashed. Surplus assets are being sold. Bureaucracy is being cut back. Unemployment benefit is being reduced because, according to Lenihan, ‘a welfare system out of step with labour costs in the rest of the economy can trap people in protracted joblessness.’

Not everyone will agree with the choices he made. But at least he had the guts to make them.

I wish our governing representatives had even half as much courage and common sense as Ireland's. And I'll bet you that their economy will rebound long before ours.
_____

Hmmm... I'm going to have to add the National Cowboy Poetry Gathering to my vacation wish list.
_____

Giggle of the Day:


see more Lolcats and funny pictures
_____

'Tis the Season:

Rubber-Necking

I rocked at my company's annual holiday party in this totally hawt dress, full war paint, sassy new haircut, long dangly earrings and a brand new boost-em-up to hike the girls back up where they belong.

Jaws dropped left and right when I made my entrance.

Made my whole holiday season, it did.

(And in the spirit of full disclosure, no, the divas at Igigi didn't give me this dress; in fact, I paid full price. *Grumble* If I'd waited two more days, I'd have gotten it for 30% off. However, given how great I felt in it, it was worth it at any price.)

Windshield Wiper

You'll need one after you read this. Seriously.

(And it made me think of Og for some odd reason...)

Google-Eyed

I tripped across this frightening gadget on BlogHer, of all places.

After scraping myself up from the giggling heap I'd collapsed in, I continued my stroll through my RSS feeds, only to stumble upon this:

see more Lol Celebs

After a few more fits of the giggles, I googled... and here are a few more choice little morsels to round out this right turn down Crazy Lane:

... and...



There! Just try and bleach those images out of your brain!

Under the Hood

What kind of a day am I having? I feel like a Duncan Yo-yo in the hands of Tommy Smothers:



It makes for an amusing show, but I'm stretched to the end of my tether in a gazillion different directions...

Drive-Bys

You do the math:

• McConnell is correct.
• McConnell is correct again.
• The math in the U.K. doesn't add up.
• Social Security doesn't add up.

We are so screwed.
_____

Boys will be boys. (God love 'em!)
_____

Spend 6+ hours on a flight to anywhere, and this is the kind of crazy you can actually empathize with. (Which is why I happily pay extra to book my seat in advance, BTW.)
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Two things that made me smile today: Lions and Tigers and Bears... and Vanilla Roasted Pears.
_____

Giggle of the Day... in honor of Jay:


see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Remember, use no yeast past its sell-by date!

Quick Stop

Oh, sure. I finally find hair products that make me appreciate the fact that I've got curly hair and the Aussies come up with this! Argh!

Shits and Grins...

... because I need some after that last post:

For those that doubted, looks like Tea Party candidates are gaining steam. Yahoo!
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I love this column about people singing on the els to tunes on their iPods. Me? I'd probably join right in and add a harmony line.
_____

It was right about the time that the bobble-head Jesus showed up here that I tripped over the old gigglebox.
_____

And if that didn't do it for you, this Regretsy ad (NSFW!) will. (Yes. I immediately thought of Catfish. I can't imagine why.)

Bus Fumes

... because I just live for producing a little more carbon dioxide into the air:

Electricity generation, transportation and industry represent the three largest sources of U.S. greenhouse-gas emissions.

Not to mention cow belches and sheep farts... and every living creature that breathes out after it breathes in.

The good folks at the EPA are just plain nuts.
_____

Speaking of nuts, Speaker Pelosi shows her ass again by happily stating she wants a global tax stocks, bonds and other financial transactions, which probably means any time money changes hands anywhere in the world.

Great. Gives you a whole lot of incentive to invest in the economy, doesn't it?
_____

About that global warming thing...
_____

Here's the stupidest part of the Medicare cuts just voted on in Washington:

By a vote of 53 to 41, the Senate on Saturday rejected a Republican effort to block cutbacks in payments to home health agencies that provide nursing care and therapy to homebound Medicare beneficiaries.

By disallowing those dollars to be spent, they'll drive Medicare beneficiaries into nursing homes and hospitals in droves, driving up the cost of their medical care, instead of allowing them to remain in their own homes and reducing the cost as a result.

And these are the people that want to be in charge of our national health care???
_____

I don't care how much you support Obama, you cannot possibly support his choice of this gargantuan asshole as his "Safe School Czar." Feast your beadies on this little audio clip taped at an education conference attended by 14 year old students and which was run by Kevin Jennings' organization:



I don't care what your political affiliation is -- this is an abomination... or you are if you think promoting fisting to 14 year olds is acceptable.

Screeching Halt

I'm having a bad auntie moment here. I got my nieces' Christmas lists and apparently Dippin Dots and Candy Jewels are #1 with a bullet at the top of each. Aside from the ridiculously high prices for the "factories" themselves, the cost of the refills is astronomical.

I can't help but wonder if buying each of them something like this or like this would be a better investment for long-term use and teach them some creativity in the kitchen with ingredients at hand, flavor combinations and the like, to boot.

Nah. They might thank me years from now, but I can imagine the disappointment on this Christmas day.

Argh!

I guess it's going to be Barbies and FurReal Pets this year. They'll get more real play time with those than with a Rube Goldberg contraption that spins gold into candy or ice cream dots.

I hate being a grumpy Scrooge of an auntie!

Drive-Bys

JihadGene says, "It's Friday! Let's Dance!"


_____

Because it made me giggle:


see more Funny Graphs
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So how was the Lions Club meeting last night? Sweet. Old fashioned. Lovely folks.

The meeting started with the Pledge of Allegiance:



Then we sang the first two verses of "America the Beautiful":



Then came requests for joys and concerns, and an invocation.

I got introduced to every single Lion -- from "Lion Ron" on down.

These are people who love their country fiercely, love doing good things for the blind, the deaf and the hearing impaired, and enjoy each others' company.

I could get used to this.

(Okay, maybe being called "Lion Leslie" will take some getting used to. But I'll deal with it, because clearly there's a lot of pride (no pun intended) in being able to use that label.)

Roadside Diner

Suzette is looking for a particular pineapple cookie recipe for her holiday baking. Not sure if this is what she had in mind, but I found it recently in the Chicago Tribune, and printed out a copy because they sound so yummy:

Pineapple Coconut Bars

Crust

Vegetable oil spray
1 pkg. (18.25 oz.) yellow or vanilla cake mix, plain or with pudding
1-1/2 cups quick-cooking oats
1 stick butter, melted
1 large egg

Filling

1/2 cup flour
1 can (14 oz.) sweetened condensed milk
1 can (8 oz.) crushed pineapple, lightly drained
1/4 tsp. ground nutmeg

Topping

1 cup each chopped macadamia nuts, sweetened flaked coconut and white chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly coat a 13" by 9" metal baking pan with vegetable oil spray. For crust, place the cake mix, oats, butter and egg in a large mixing bowl; beat with an electric mixer on low speed until the ingredients are incorporated, 1 minute. Measure out 1-1/2 cups of this mixture and set aside for the topping. Press the remaining mixture evenly into the bottom of the baking pan.

For the filling, place the flour, condensed milk, pineapple and nutmeg into the same mixing bowl. Beat with an electric mixer on low speed until the flour is just combined, 1 minute. Pour the filling over the crust in the pan.

Add the three topping ingredients to the retained crust mixture; stir until just combined. Scatter the topping over the filling. Bake until the edges have set and the center is golden brown, 35-40 minutes.

Transfer the pan to a wire rack and let cool 30 minutes before cutting. (Store the bars, covered withe plastic wrap or aluminum foil, at room temperature for up to five days or freeze for up to 3 months. If frozen, let the bars thaw overnight on the counter before serving.)

Hope this helps, Suzette!

Drive-Bys

I saw this article on crazy people who play with Tesla coils... and all I could imagine is Holder and Yabu at the next Jawja Blodgmeet with a snoot-full of Chatham Artillary Punch.

Sounds like fun, doesn't it?
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Gotta love Barbara Boxer, who, if she doesn't like the bad news, tries to slay the bearers.
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So Obama and Ayers weren't friends? Then why this news?
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Oooo! I'm going to have to try Pammy's recipe for Sausage and Potato Gnocchi Soup! Sounds fabulous.
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'Tis the Season, and Mostly Cajun's got the Cajun 12 Days of Christmas:

Mon Dieux, Emile, what I’m gonna feed all these bozos? They too snooty for fried nutria, and da cow ate up all my turnip green.

Haaaaaaaahahaha!
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Blogthing of the Day:

You Are a Caramel Brownie

You are a very sweet person. Even when you get yourself in to binds, people know that your heart is in the right place. You're the type of guy or gal that people never forget. There is something "sticky" about you - you stick in people's brain's. You are act naturally. You let the world see who you are, flaws and all. You're a little chaotic and even messy, but you're okay with that. You can be a bit hyper and unfocused at times. You don't stay organized - but that's part of your charm!

What Kind of Brownie Are You?

Blogthings: Discover the Parts of Your Personality that Have Been Hiding

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Giggle of the Day:


see more Lolcats and funny pictures
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Gotta fly! I'm off to check out the Lions Club in my town. I'm feeling the need to get more involved in my own community. Wish me luck.

(Reminds me of Satan's Little Helper, for some reason!)

Drive-Bys

Because I love me some Blogthings:

You Are Italian

Ah, you are a true romantic. You enjoy all of the sensual pleasures in love - delicious food, soul stirring music, a beautiful sunset... And you always seem to be able to find the words to describe each experience perfectly. You are a charming and seductive person. You just have that certain something that draws people to you. You are passionate about words. Words can easily inspire, delight, or anger you. It's sometimes all about how something was said.

What Language Are You?

Blogthings: Quizzes and Tests and Memes, Oh My!

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After last night especially, I'm sure this is true: Obama wants to get out of Washington more.

Frankly, I think I must be related to commenter Peter Williams.
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Never say what I do for a living is boring. After all, I get to run across serious articles like this from time to time:

The maker of the Kamelflage brand of ladies’ underwear has accused Camelflage LLC of blatantly ripping off the original product with its own widespread line of underpants for concealing “frontal wedgies.”

Boy, I'd like to be working on that case! (The patent application alone would have me in fits of giggles for days.)
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For all those people who think Tiger Woods should come clean about what happened this weekend, please read this:

I’d love to hear Tiger make this argument to Elin: “Hi honey. You know, even though you (allegedly) attacked me because I (allegedly) cheated on you, I can keep you out of jail. But I’ve decided against it. You see, it’s hurting my brand and my image to keep my mouth shut right now. Sorry. Don’t worry, I’ll find a really good (hot) babysitter to take care of the kids while you serve your time.”

Talking would be the dumbest thing Tiger can do right now, if he wants to help his wife. Lawyers understand this fact better than most. Please spread the word so I can watch SportsCenter without spitting up my coffee.

Leave both Tiger and Elin alone already.
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Giggle of the Day:



(Gleefully swiped from Mike.)
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'Tis the Season:

Deer in the Headlights

Here's another blot on the copybook of both American big media and the White House's investigation into the party crashers at the recent state dinner -- a Canadian journalist has proof that Obama is not unfamiliar with the Salahis:

Hey Secret Agent Man, here’s Obama, the senator flashing his pearly whites with Randy Jackson, better known as a judge on American Idol. “Others pictured are Black Eyed Peas Rock Band; Tareq Salahi the President of the America’s Polo Cup; President Elect Obama, Fergie from Black eyed Peas and Michaele Salahi, posing this time as a former Miss USA and SuperModel.”

A Canadian journalist gets out the shovel to dig into the story, while American journos and White House investigators apparently dig with a teaspoon.

Fabulous.

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Updates here and, more eye-raisingly, here from WorldNetDaily.

(A tip of the cap to Barrie for the pointer!)

Drive-Bys

Hmmmm.... I haven't done a Blogthing in a while, but Jay inspired me:

You Are a Knight

You are very unusual and even a bit eccentric. No one can really figure you out easily. Because you're not predictable, people behave irrationally around you. They may feel threatened by your presence, or they may underestimate you completely. You do best when you're close to the action. You don't move quickly, so you need to be near the center of things if you want to make a difference. You tend to act quickly, and decisively. In fact, you are often the first person to make a move.

What Chess Piece Are You?

Blogthings: A Fine Line Between Insight and Stupidity

Yep.
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When did Technorati become so utterly useless as a tool to see who links to you and to which posts?
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Who knew Yoda spoke in both English and Chinese?


see more Engrish
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Still think universal healthcare is a good idea? See what Dr. Panda has to say about that:

Somewhere, sometime…I don’t know when…the public has dropped even the pretense that the Emergency Department is anything other than an all-hours urgent care or some kind of one-stop shopping for all of your real and imagined medical problems. It it this impatience, the medicalization of all aspects of life, represented by patients demanding instant treatment for things that thirty years ago would be shrugged off that ensures our health care system will bankrupt us, especially when it is free.

Too true.

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Can I get an "Amen!"?

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Have you ever received one single cocktail that was designed to erase every bit of constraint you showed for hours?

Just received the single most lethal "Old Fashioned," which is usually light and delicious, in my entire life. It must contain an entire bottle of Angostura Bitters, along with half a liter of Bourbon. My previously wavy hair just stood up straight in a halo around my head. Pray for me.

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Road to Nowhere

Teresa has been posting rock wall pictures of her New England surrounds for a while now, so I thought I'd post one for her from my last trip to Ireland. This was taken in County Clare on our way to the Cliffs of Mohr, and is literally a road to nowhere, built during the Potato Famine:

Amid the bleak winter, hundreds of thousands of desperate Irish sought work on public works relief projects. By late December 1846, 500,000 men, women and children were at work building stone roads. Paid by piece-work, the men broke apart large stones with hammers then placed the fragments in baskets carried by the women to the road site where they were dumped and fit into place. They built roads that went from nowhere to nowhere in remote rural areas that had no need of such roads in the first place. Many of the workers, poorly clothed, malnourished and weakened by fever, fainted or even dropped dead on the spot.

It's a beautiful place, and a heartbreaking place.

Pit Stop

This one's for you, fellas!

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And while I have you rabble-rousers' attention, here is the stupidest product with the funniest comments ever. Go read 'em all, then add your own -- the more creative, the better.

(A tip of the cap to the Grunt Doc.)

Drive-Bys

No surprises here:

Your PERSONAL issues Score is 100%.
Your ECONOMIC issues Score is 100%.

According to your answers, the political group that agrees with you most is... LIBERTARIAN

LIBERTARIANS support maximum liberty in both personal and economic matters. They advocate a much smaller government; one that is limited to protecting individuals from coercion and violence. Libertarians tend to embrace individual responsibility, oppose government bureaucracy and taxes, promote private charity, tolerate diverse lifestyles, support the free market, and defend civil liberties.

(A tip of the cap to Harper.)
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Given the above, it's no wonder I find this heart-warming:

The streets of downtown Batavia were going to be dimmer this year -- a $25,000 cut in the city's holiday decorating budget meant leaving lamp poles without lights and sparkly snowflakes in storage.

But many residents love the holidays a lot, so they pledged to pitch in and brighten the city's streets where officials could not.

This is the second town in the area that has responded this way. That's the spirit of America, right there.
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Guess what I just bought myself for a pre-Christmas giggle?



You know you want one, too.
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Giggle of the Day:


see more Lolcats and funny pictures
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JihadGene says, "It's Friday! Let's Dance!"

Alrighty then...

Drive-Bys

Since we're spending millions of dollars on a handful of kids in a program just like this this year, I'll be interested to see the results of this study on the efficacy violence prevention programs.

Call me a cock-eyed optimist, but I really hope this particular program is measurably successful.

If not, I can think of a ton of other places where we could spend the money. But it would be really, really nice if this worked. Too many dead kids this year.
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Now THIS would be a hell of an excuse to miss a few extra days of work, and it would be quite comical to be a fly on the wall when the boss gets the news...
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What's My Reading Pet Peeve?

My number one biggie these days is that publishers are making paperbacks a little wider, a lot longer and way heavier than they used to, and charging a premium of at least $2 more per book for something that's unnecessarily weighty, difficult to read because the spine isn't as bendy, and provides no more real content than any other paperback by the same author.

Just saying...
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Well, DUH! But it won't happen...
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Thought for the Day:


see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Quick Stop

Quote of the Day:

Talking about changing the channel to a person who still hasn't taken the television home is denying reality.

Omnibus Driver

Drive-Bys

Giggle of the Day, compliments of It Made My Day:

My nephew is potty training, so the other day I went with him to the bathroom to do Number 2. I noticed he was grunting and pushing pretty hard so I told him, “If you keep doing that you’ll blow a gasket.” No sooner had I said this, he unleashed an incredible fart. He looked at me with panic in his eyes and said, “I just blew a gasket!” IMMD

Also this priceless gem:

I went through a McDonald’s drive thru and said “I can has cheeseburger?” There was a pause before I heard “Nom Nom Nom” on the other end. IMMD

Straight to the RSS feed!
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JihadGene says, "It's Friday! Let's Dance!"

Alrighty, then. Here's a new video I found of those wonderful kids from Killarney -- Rasher & The Trainwrecks:



That'll get your toes tapping!
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Oh, the humanity!
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Ya think???
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Quote of the Day:

Many Muslims desperately flee these countries for the West in order to pursue their more extreme brand of Islam. We give them the freedom to do so--in effect the freedom to hate us.

Wrap your head around that for a minute.
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I love me some etsy... but I adore Regretsy. It elevates fug to a whole new level of wrong.

Drive-Bys

This photo gallery looks like the cause of the world's largest hangover... or possibly the best blogmeet ever.
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Ah, Illinois politicians -- you've got to love them:

The campaign of Chicago attorney and Democratic Senate candidate Jacob Meister said it began airing one-minute TV ads in central Illinois today in which he contends that helping the economy and creating jobs is more important than battling corruption.

You notice that he never made the connection that a corrupt system caused our economy problems in the first place.

At least he's honest about it.
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Speaking of the honesty of Illinois pols, here's a little zinger from our Chicken-In-Charge:

“What I think is appropriate is that in the same way that everybody has to get auto insurance and if you don't, you're subject to some penalty, that in this situation, if you have the ability to buy insurance, it's affordable and you choose not to do so, forcing you and me and everybody else to subsidize you, you know, there's a thousand dollar hidden tax that families all across America are -- are burdened by because of the fact that people don't have health insurance, you know, there's nothing wrong with a penalty.”

Thanks, Big Guy. You almost slipped that one right past us.
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And more honesty in Chicagoland today, this by a well-known radio host and opinion columnist (nope -- he's not a reporter), speaking about bloggers and blog commenters:

I've got news for you: The "town hall meeting" was invented by politicians to make you think that your opinion actually counts. It doesn't. A town hall meeting just gives people with too much time on their hands a chance to vent. Beyond that, it's an insult to broadcasters and journalists who have at least taken the time to form an opinion longer than a sentence and have actually done some research. What's the point of doing all of that, when any knucklehead has the same access to the people you brought to the party in the first place?

Nice to know the only opinion that counts is a journalist's. And that only a journalist knows how to do research. And the media wonders why many of us resent them?
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My Conservative Identity:

You are a Flag-Waving Everyman, also known as a patriot. You believe in freedom, apple pie, rooting for America at all times, and that God gave us a two-day weekend so we could enjoy football and NASCAR.

Take the quiz at www.FightLiberals.com

(Gleefully snitched from Yabu.)
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Okay, I'm not to sure about these envelopes and I sure wouldn't get this custom nail art done, but I'm thinking the bacon popcorn and bacon ranch dressing mix sound pretty good.

I'm blaming Barb, who knows I think bacon is one of Nature's Perfect Foods.
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People are nuts. Really.
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Speaking of nuts: What's wrong with this headline?

That's about fourteen different levels of wrong.
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Quote of the Day:

If there are any of you out there with any connection at all to the Bushes, we implore you to give them our thanks…you tell them that a bunch of gay Hillary guys in Boystown, Chicago were wrong about the Bushes…and are deeply, deeply sorry for any jokes we told about them in the past, any bad thoughts we had about these good, good people.

You may be as surprised by this as we are ourselves, but from this day forward George W. and Laura Bush are now on the same list for us as the Clintons, Geraldine Ferraro, Stephanie Tubbs Jones, and the other political figures we keep in our hearts and never allow anyone to badmouth.

Criticize their policies academically and intelligently and discuss the Bush presidency in historical and political terms…but you mess with the Bushes personally and, from this day forward, you’ll answer to us.

We hope someday to be able to thank George W. and Laura in person for all they’ve done, and continue to do. They didn’t have to head to Ft. Hood. That was not their responsibility.

The Obamas should have done that.

But didn’t.

Wouldn’t.

Thank goodness George W. is still on his watch, with wonderful Laura at his side.

Go read the whole thing here.
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Giggle of the Day:


see more Lol Celebs
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Ear Worm of the Day: