Bus Fumes

Received from my building's office manager today:

Dear Customers:

The City of Chicago, the Chicago Police Department, and march organizers have finalized plans for a May 1st 2007 Immigration Rights March. XXXXXXX Properties is coordinating security efforts with local authorities. The large number of people expected to participate could result in delays for commuters, building visitors and deliveries. Tenants may want to consider scheduling critical meetings and deliveries early in the day on May 1st or on another day. It is important to avoid the area around the demonstration and not provoke the demonstrators.

It is anticipated that the march will depart Union Park, Washington and Ogden at 1:30 P.M. The route of the march will be eastbound on Washington to Des Plaines, southbound on Des Plaines to Jackson and eastbound on Jackson into Grant Park. The rally will take place in Lower Hutchinson Field which is in Grant Park at Columbus and Balbo and disband from there.

Vehicular traffic of any kind will be prohibited to allow the march to proceed safely.

We will continue to work to minimize any disruptions this event may cause. If you have any questions or concerns before or during the march please call the customer service center at XXX XXX XXXX or myself at YYY YYY YYYY.
Thank you for your cooperation.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! (Thank goodness that I had to drive in today, and not tomorrow. Another good reason that I heart Metra.)

Veloci-Meme

Here's another of my favorite politically incorrect cartoons!

Tootin' the Horn

Happy Eighth Blogiversary to my very own Fairy Blogmother, Rebecca Blood. Her book and her kind words in response to a couple of emails from my technotard self were among the inspirations for firing up the Omnibus in the first place.

Traveling Companions

The Divine Miss Marilyn wishes you and yours the happiest of weekends!

(Actually, she just wants me to get on the train and get myself home for a little lap time already.)
_____

Don't forget to stop by the Friday Ark at the Modulator.

The Carnival of the Cats will be hosted by our Aloysius at Catymology this Sunday evening.

Can't wait till then? Go visit this week's Carnival at The Scratching Post.

That's not enough?

How about Weekend Cat Blogging at s'kat and the food and the Cat Blogosphere?

Drive-Bys

Yes. I'm having one of THOSE weeks!
_____

Eeeewwwwwww! Ick, ick, ick, ick, ICK.

(I'd tip my cap Jennifer's way, but I'm too squicked out at the moment. Ick.)
_____

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!
_____

Who knew Aussies had such bloody good sense?
_____

I'll be humming this little ditty all weekend. Catchy, isn't it?

(A tip of the cap to the Desert Cat. Thanks for the ear worm, Dude!)

Drive-Bys

If I didn't know better, I'd swear Jimbo wrote this Uncyclopedia entry.
_____

A message for Livey, with much love.

From the Rowdies in the Back of the Bus

From Elizabeth:

A stunning senior moment…

A very self-important college freshman attending a recent football game took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation.

”You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one,” the student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear.

“The young people of today grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the moon, our spaceships have visited Mars. We have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with light-speed processing…and, ”pausing to take another drink of beer…

The Senior took advantage of the break in the student’s litany and said, “You’re right, son. We didn’t have those things when we were young…so we invented them. Now, you arrogant little smart ass, what are you doing for the next generation?”

_____

Lisslo posts a very funny here.
_____

Doesn't sound like Travis is going to have very much fun at the prom this year. Poor guy. (*Snicker*)
_____

Buzzwords to Impress

COLUMN I COLUMN II COLUMN III

------------------- --------------------- --------------------

0. integrated 0.management 0. options

1. heuristic 1. organizational 1. flexibility

2. systematized 2. monitored 2. capability

3. parallel 3. reciprocal 3. mobility

4. functional 4. digital 4. programming

5. responsive 5. logistical 5. scenarios

6. optional 6. transitional 6. time-phase

7. synchronized 7. incremental 7. projection

8. compatible 8. third-generation 8. hardware

9. futuristic 9. policy 9. contingency

The procedure is simple. Think of any three-digit number, and then select the corresponding buzzword from each column.

For instance, number 257 produces "systematized logistical projection,"

Veloci-Meme

Velociman has been waxing nostalgic, and asked his Blown-Eyed buddies to post some of their favorite childhood cartoons.

Deputy Dawg, one of the old TerryToons cartoons, was one of my first favorites. The artwork is simplistic, the stories are politically incorrect, there's loads of gratuitous violence, and they're silly as hell:

Drive-Bys

Okay. Call me a mean old meanie... but this tickles me pink.
_____

This strikes me as a clean and green way to produce electricity. My fear? Some PETA nut will object on the basis that it might hurt plankton or amoebae or water bugs or some other such nonsense.
_____

Damn, Skippy! This is bad news.

Tummy Tuesdays

The Divine Miss Marilyn...

... loves posing for Tummy Tuesday cheesecake photos!

Go visit LisaViolet for more delectable tummy goodness.
_____

By the way -- Don't forget to go here and check out the pretty colors, then drop a note in the comments right here to vote for the color for The Divine Miss Marilyn's next "pawdicure."

Traveling Companions

The Divine Miss Marilyn is feeling demure today.
_____

Don't forget to stop by the Friday Ark at the Modulator.

The Carnival of the Cats will be hosted by our Maximum Leader over at the Scratching Post this Sunday evening.

Can't wait till then? Go visit this week's Carnival at Nina's Books 4 Israel Project.

That's not enough?

How about Weekend Cat Blogging at Pet's Garden Blog and the Cat Blogosphere?

The Road to the White House

The Instapundit wonders why Hillary Clinton seems to be steadily sliding in the polls.

There are a couple of reasons that are readily apparent to me:

1. She's got a voice like nails on a blackboard. I'm talking speaking voice, not politics. Someone should have hired a vocal coach for her long ago.
   
2. She projects a sense of her own moral and intellectual superiority. No one likes to be spoken down to. Nobody.
3. She projects a sense that she knows what's best for me as an individual, and that I'm too stupid to have the right to make my own choices. You are not the boss of me, lady.
   
4. She's simply not warm and fuzzy.
5. So far, her platform has been about everyone else's negatives, not about her own positives. Does anybody really know what she stands for?
   

It's no wonder Obama is doing so well at the moment, despite the fact that he really doesn't have the depth of experience that I'd like to see, and despite the fact that he's made a few missteps.

It's easier to forgive Mr. Nice than it is to forgive Miss Superiority 2007.

As for me, the candidates I'd most like to see are Bill Richardson on the Democratic side and Fred Thompson on the Republican side. Now that would be a horse race!

Tootin' the Horn

My favorite witch Maeve has tagged me with a "Thinking Blogger" award. I hope it's more for the times when I actually wrote some longer pieces, and not so much for my photos of The Divine Miss Marilyn (although I'm pretty proud of those, too)... but I'll take it any way I can get it, I guess.

In this case, however, I really have been thinking about this honor and challenge for about a week, trying to figure out just which bloggers I'd really like to point a spotlight towards. Oh, I could choose one of the usual suspects, but there are some other fine folks who really should be getting more readers.

In no particular order, here they are:

Darren, who fearlessly shares his struggles with depression and anxiety, his move from New York City to Richmond, Virginia, the development of his relationship with Heather, and delivers it all with candor and astonishing good humor. For example:

The two most exciting things that have gone down this past week? I cleaned up an awe-inspiring dog-related mess in the bedroom the other day, and I bought a new coffee mug.

As for the bedroom… Sweet Jesus. Rufus had evidently eaten something that didn’t agree with him, which resulted in what looked like a one-quarter scale Hershey plant had exploded in our bedroom.

He reminds us all of what it's like to be young, have fears and aspirations, and be brave enough (or foolish enough) to choose to pursue the latter and worry about the consequences later. And he reminds us again and again just how powerful laughter can be.

Patty, whose White Pebble blog has a soothing, zen-like quality with a dry sense of humor... despite the fact that she's currently in a tough battle with cancer. Yeah. Wrap your head around that concept. Better yet, here's an example:

The birthday again. 51. Again, I am a prime number. I rather like being a prime number, but I don’t know why.

This morning, I spent a couple of hours at University Hospital speaking with a few people in the anesthesiology department, getting a lot of information-gathering out of the way in preparation for tomorrow. We went over what’s going to happen, and what I’m taking, and what I’m allergic to, etc. I am clear on what they will give me, and when, and why.

I hate the waiting. Why can’t we do it now? I can’t really get into being the desperately happy birthday girl today, even though my friends are coming this evening for dinner and Stupid Television.

Right now, I have a pretty bad martial arts movie on, with Michelle Yeoh in it. She deserves a better movie, I think. At least, she deserves a better wig.

A new find, and one who's also going straight to the blogroll is Mr. Regular, who would fit right in with some of the better yarn spinners I know. Let me just steer you to these three posts, that had me in stitches. Hell -- I could practically smell the ozone:

Dad had a bird dog that loved to go off. If you didnt’ chain this sucker down, it would be all over the damned place, and usually was. Dad’s answer to this was to get an electric fence charger and put a single strand of hot wire on the top of our chain link fence, and the dog stayed home. It convinced the dog so thoroughly that the mere sight of the wire was enough to keep it from jumping, so dad was able to eventually leave the charger completely off. Not, though before John and I had learned about pissing on a fence wire.

Rosie, of Smokey Mountain Breakdown, is another relatively new, but highly prized find and friend. Her writing has a "painterly" feel to it -- there's true passion and artistry in her posts on subjects ranging from friends and family to hand raising goats to snake-handling holy rollers to food pr()n to cocker spaniel rescue. She also posts gorgeous, gorgeous photos and outstanding fiction. Here's a sample:

Peggy was a massive woman. She stood 6 feet in her hunting socks and had a bit of a weight problem. But her height allowed her to carry her 400 pounds much better than a shorter woman could. She had considerable trouble finding shoes that would fit her size 13 feet, so she usually just wore men's hiking boots. Today she was wearing those as well as a denim mini skirt that was stretched like paint onto her massive thighs. Her orange top had little spaghetti straps that kept slipping to reveal a black and buff leopard print bra. Where she had found that neon green banana clip holding her mass of frizzy black hair was anyone's guess.

Everyone said Peggy was a really sweet girl when she wasn't drunk or stoned...or both. Really she was. But those days were few and far between. It wasn't that Peggy was a mean or angry drunk. Peggy was a slutty drunk. A hyper-sexualized drunk can get in a world of trouble here.

I'm telling you, Rosie writes pure gold.

Finally, Murphy of What Now, Murphy? fame is my favorite political snarkist. Whether you agree with her politics or not, you've got to hand her a merit badge for eloquence and ardor:

The strongest of diplomatic measures is the pimp slap of the B-2 bomber, belly pregnant with the promise of America's Finest Fireworks, a.k.a. nuke.

But apparently taking public office, whether it be the U.N. or the American presidency, requires putting the beans up on a guillotine. Nobody has shown any hint of testosterone in this mess, except for those jackasses in picnic tablecloths.

So there you have it -- five very different bloggers whose work knocks me off my pins on a daily basis.

The participation rules are simple:

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think,
2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme,
3. Optional: Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote (here is an alternative silver version if gold doesn't fit your blog).

Drive-Bys

Hmmm.......

What in the heck did I do to attract these folks?

Bus Fumes

There is a cliche of immense proportions (both literal and figurative) sitting in the cube directly next to mine.

Loud.

Cell phone ringtone is the Deathstar theme from Star Wars, and the volume of said cell phone is set on "stun."

Frequent calls regarding applications for summer internships -- all disappointing in nature. "What do you mean, the fact that I was arrested works against me? I was just arrested; I was never charged. What about if I try again when I get this expunged from my record..."

He gets phone calls informing him that he has one not one, but two bar parties for 20 friends, with food and beer included. "What if my friends don't want beer, but do want soft drinks? Is that part of the package, or will they have to buy them?"

He sneezes, loudly, almost constantly, spewing who knows how many germs and bacteria?

Normally, I'm pretty easy to get along with and I look for the best in everyone. Not today. No siree Bob.

Why?

That idiot is farting in my general direction. Repeatedly. Eeeew.

Tummy Tuesdays

A little something different for Tummy Tuesday (inspired by LisaViolet, of course).

Tootin' the Horn

Happiest of birthdays to blogger KeesKennis, who brings a unique perspective to the blogosphere.

Drive-Bys

You Are a Pinky

You are fiercely independent, and possibly downright weird. A great communicator, you can get along with almost anyone. You are kind and sympathetic. You support all your friends - and love them for who they are. You get along well with: The Ring Finger Stay away from: The Thumb

What Finger Are You?

(Once again, I blame it on Jay!)
_____

Your Aura is Red

You have a high level of emotion. This can mean passion, but it can also mean rage. Usually, you don't take these emotions out on others. You just use them as motivation - and it works! The purpose of your life: embracing all the wonders of the life, lots of travels, and tons of adventures Famous reds include: Madonna, Marilyn Monroe, Jennifer Lopez Careers for you to try: Dancer, Boxer, Surgeon

What Color Is Your Aura?

_____

You Are Very Happy Being Single

You're not anti-relationship. You just don't need one to be content. You find plenty of happiness from your life as it is. And if you find someone you love, then that's just icing on an already decadent cake!

Are You Happy Being Single?

Yup.
_____

Go here and take this interesting test. I got all but two correct. How about you?

(A tip of the cap to the Confabulator!)
_____

At last! Two signs that people can act rationally on occasion. My faith in humanity is almost restored. Almost.
_____

I know how Og feels. I once went on a diet of less than 1,000 calories a day while simultaneously quitting smoking. After 10 days I called my mother and cried gibbered complete nonsense for an hour. It was not a pretty thing.

I'm pulling for you, big guy!

Traveling Companions

Meet Macavity, the cat who gives the term "traveling companion" a whole new meaning!

(A tip of the cap to BAM for the delightful pointer.)

Drive-Bys

For Jimbo...


... who also do not want.
_____

I've always admired Harvey Fierstein, but never more than today:

The real point is that you cannot harbor malice toward others and then cry foul when someone displays intolerance against you. Prejudice tolerated is intolerance encouraged. Rise up in righteousness when you witness the words and deeds of hate, but only if you are willing to rise up against them all, including your own. Otherwise suffer the slings and arrows of disrespect silently.

Brilliantly said.
_____

Carnival of the Cats is up over at Nina's Books 4 Israel Project. She did a wonderful job with a boatload of entries.

Also, be sure stop by Weekend Cat Blogging at A Byootiful Life. A job well done, Puddy -- especially for a first timer!
_____

TMBCITW will be so pleased to hear this:


More Fun Quizzes at QuizPox.com

It's her favorite cartoon character! (Muy bueno.)
_____

NOTE: z

No smoking around Omnibus Driver. Thankyou for your co-operation.

Username:

From Go-Quiz.com

This is a joke, right?

(A tip of the cap to my buddy Redneck.)
_____

Omnibus Driver Highway Paintown 9 TravelWorld 20 Wealthville 62 Valley of Depression 136 Childbirth Hospital 250 Please Drive Carefully

Username:

Downright scary, huh?

Bus Fumes

I've had just about all of this I can stand:

I'm ready for a lot more of this, instead:

Drive-Bys

(Is it never going to slow down?)
_____

Your Mind is 45% Cluttered

Your mind is starting to get cluttered, and as a result, it's a little harder for you to keep focused. Try to let go of your pettiest worries and concerns. The worrying is worse than the actual problems! [Ain't that the truth!]

How Cluttered is Your Mind?

(A tip of the cap to Jay Solo.)
_____

Your Wrath Quotient: 37%

Sometimes you get really angry, but nothing out of the norm. While you may wish someone harm, it's pretty unlikely that you'd actually do anything about it.

How Much Wrath Do You Have?

_____

Traveling Companions

The Divine Miss Marilyn says she's not coming out from under the covers until it's at least 60 degrees outside. At the rate we're going in Chicago, we won't see her until mid-May. Sigh.
_____

Don't forget to stop by the Friday Ark at the Modulator.

The Carnival of the Cats will be hosted at Nina's Books 4 Israel Project this Sunday evening.

Can't wait till then? Go visit this week's Carnival at Bad Kitty Cats.

That's not enough?

How about Weekend Cat Blogging at A Byootaful Life and the Cat Blogosphere?
_____

There's more news on the recent pet food recall that sets out numbers of pets dead that is simply appalling, both here and here.

Makes me glad that I feed only the best for the Divine Miss Marilyn.

Drive-Bys

For some reason, the bukket series, especially the walrus photos, cracks me up more than any of the other very funny stuff over at I Can Has Cheezburger?
_____

Poppy channels the bucket/bukket series here. Heh.
_____


More Fun Quizzes at QuizPox.com
That's an oxymoron, right?

(A tip of the cap to Kellie!)
_____

Hey, Harvey! I got your 17 chinchillas right here:


Heh.
_____

Quote of the Day:

It's the chastity belt of the 21st century.

(A tip of the cap to my BlogMama for the pointer.)

Tootin' the Horn, Part II

Another birthday shout-out goes to LL of Chromed Curses. Hope it's a doozy, my friend!

Tootin' the Horn

Happiest of birthday wishes to the one and only Velociman!
_____

In what I find is a very amusing co-inky-dink, look who's birthday falls a day before VMan's!

Whiplash

TMBCITW and TMPAE...

... seem only to stop moving...

... when it's time to go to sleep!

Is it any wonder...

... that I'm always happy, but exhausted after a visit with my nieces? (Yes, I'm one lucky, lucky Auntie!)

Tummy Tuesdays

This little tuxie girl used to drive the Divine Miss Marilyn nuts by showing up on our porch when we were cooking out and flopping over so we could skritch her belly.

The Divine Miss Marilyn, of course, thinks that belly skritches are for her, and her alone!
_____

Go visit Lisa Violet for more links to fuzzy feline tummies.

Drive-Bys

Is it me, or does this thing look like an upgraded tin foil beanie?

Entertainment on the Bus

My youngest niece, at barely 18 months, gave notice on Easter Day that I am no longer the only karaoke queen in the family:



Rock on, TMPAE!

(More pictures tomorrow. Busy, busy, busy today!)
_____

Update: If you can't see the image, it may still be going through the YouTube acceptance process. If so, come back later. You'll laugh yourself silly, just like I did.

Traveling Companions

The Divine Miss Marilyn believes it don't mean a thing if it ain't got that bling. Yep. The cat's gotta have her sparklies.
_____

Don't forget to stop by the Friday Ark at the Modulator.

The Carnival of the Cats will be hosted by Bad Kitty Cats this Sunday evening.

That's not enough?

How about Weekend Cat Blogging at What Did You Eat and the Cat Blogosphere?

Tootin' the Horn

Congratulations to Meezer Mom on her new "jobbie"! It's been a long, tough job search. I'm thrilled that she got something that suits her so well.

Drive-Bys

I so want to meet this woman. She slays me!
_____

Speaking of truly great women, Chai-rista has finally returned to the blogosphere. (Well... I know she was piddling around... er... posting over at the Llama Butchers' joint for a while, but guesting is not the same as hosting your own.) Anyhoo, go welcome her back, will ya?
_____

Richard Roeper rocks today:

One can only hope there will be flights with a "no cell phone" option, because if there aren't, I'm walking everywhere, like Kwai Chang Caine. The idea of flying to L.A. for nearly four hours, surrounded by loud talkers yapping on their phones . . . I'd rather take a Taser to the nipples all day.

Just go read the whole thing.

Tummy Tuesdays

I may not miss the Buckaroo, but I surely do miss Tiger Boots... who was (and I hope still is) always happy to show off her pretty tummy.
_____

Go visit Lisa Violet for more links to fuzzy feline tummies.

Drive-Bys

You Are A Romantic Realist

You tend to be grounded when it comes to romance. Sure, you can fall hard... but only for someone you've gotten to know. And once you're in love, you can be a total romantic goofball... But you'd never admit it to your friends!

Are You Romantic or Realistic?

Umm... yes.
_____

You Are Somewhat Mature

You definitely act like an adult sometimes, but a big part of you is still a kid at heart. While your immature side is definitely fun, you're going to have to grow up sooner or later. [Sez who?]

Are You Immature?

_____

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as strong willed and stubborn. Overall, your true self is passionate and physical. With friends, you seem dramatic, lively, and quick to react. In love, you seem energetic - almost manic. [Huh?] In stressful situations, you seem cheerful and optimistic. [I fake it well.]

What Do People Think Of Your Face?

_____

This sounds like another graduate of The Princess Mom School of Parenting. Only no child of the Princess Mom would ever have been that stupid.
_____

I Can Has Cheezburger? is hilarious. And addictive as all get out.

Tootin' the Horn

It's Jay Solo's birthday today! Go wish him (and his mom) a happy one.

Traveling Companions

The Divine Miss Marilyn heaved a huge sigh of relief when we received this message in response to this post:

Hi!

I hope you are the one who asked how Gigolo cat was. I wrote the Gigolo site on March 5 because I was worried, too, and the response was:

Hi Minta:
The Giggy is fine. hopefully he will be back soon once we get everything in order.

Thanks for asking!

Evil!Troll

Still, its been a month. But at least there's hope.

I love your catblogging!

Regards,

Minta Morze

Minta,

The Divine Miss Marilyn and I send you many, many thanks!
_____

While you're catting around the blogosphere, don't forget the Carnival of the Cats #158 is up at IMAO.

Drive-Bys

Finally, parents with some common sense! I don't imagine turning your son in for something like this is easy, but it is the right thing to do:

Two teenage boys from Lindenwood, Ill., were allowed to fly home with orders to return in 60 days to face possible criminal charges stemming from a brush fire they are accused of setting Friday that blackened 160 acres in the Hollywood Hills....

The boys, ages 16 and 17, were interviewed by police and Fire Department investigators after they turned themselves in, accompanied by the parents of the 16-year-old.

The boys, whose names were not released because they are minors, told arson investigators that they were playing with a lighter and setting twigs on fire when the blaze spread up the hillside, said sources familiar with the investigation.

_____

Yep. This would most certainly be me:

What Be Your Nerd Type? Your Result: Literature Nerd Does sitting by a nice cozy fire, with a cup of hot tea/chocolate, and a book you can read for hours even when your eyes grow red and dry and you look sort of scary sitting there with your insomniac appearance? Then you fit this category perfectly! You love the power of the written word and it's eloquence; and you may like to read/write poetry or novels. You contribute to the smart people of today's society, however you can probably be overly-critical of works. It's okay. I understand.
Drama Nerd
Musician
Artistic Nerd
Gamer/Computer Nerd
Social Nerd
Anime Nerd
Science/Math Nerd
What Be Your Nerd Type? Quizzes for MySpace

(A tip of the cap to Jennifer.)
_____

Wow! Maybe there is a zombie love for the Straightest and Whitest of Guys, after all!
_____

Urk! Looks like it's going to be another crazy week...
_____