Lair is stirring the waters of the 2005 Dead Pool.
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If wading in the Dead Pool doesn't trip your trigger, how 'bout grazing through the Carnival of the Recipes?
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Want to wander a little bit further afield? Try the Carnival of the Liberated!
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Rubber-Necking
Here's another finalist for the 2004 Darwin Awards. (A tip of the cap to that guy at isfullofcrap.)
_____
More bad news for the folks at Gino's North and the Anvil? I just don't know how much more disappointment my neighbors can stand...
_____
_____
More bad news for the folks at Gino's North and the Anvil? I just don't know how much more disappointment my neighbors can stand...
_____
Bus Fumes
This couldn't happen to a more deserving bunch of guys.
_____
The Instapundit and Professor Bainbridge have both opined on why Wal-Mart had such a dismal turnout for the day after Thanksgiving sales. I think they both miss an important point -- Wal-Mart's only real "brand" recognition is for those stupid smiley face guys knocking down prices.
Kmart, though not one of my faves, either, has done a much better job of promoting recognizable brands such as Jacqueline Smith and Martha Stewart. While these brands are certainly not as well-made as something you'd find at Bluefly, for example, they do deliver contemporary styles at reasonable prices.
Wal-Mart, on the other hand, carries cheapo brands in boring colors and styles -- fine if you just want a plain old pair of khakis or blue jeans -- but terrible if you want to inject a little style into your wardrobe or your housewares.
Speaking of style, Target has, quite simply, taken the concepts of "brand" and "style" and run like crazy with them. Their television ads are works of art, showcasing products instead of prices. You know they're going to be inexpensive, but that's not the point. The point is they want you to see that their products and brands are fun, fresh, hip, colorful -- and all shown off to advantage. Their website boasts eight different well-known designers whose designs run the gamut from apparel to linens to appliances.
So where would most people choose to shop? At a store where the only thing you know for sure you'll find is an obnoxious smiley, or at a store where everything begs to be touched, worn, coordinated and accessorized... for around the same price as the boring stuff you'd get at the smiley store?
Wal-Mart is fizzling because it's brand ain't sizzling. And that's the bottom line.
Update: Like I said, Target has much sexier merchandise than either Kmart or Wal-Mart.
_____
_____
The Instapundit and Professor Bainbridge have both opined on why Wal-Mart had such a dismal turnout for the day after Thanksgiving sales. I think they both miss an important point -- Wal-Mart's only real "brand" recognition is for those stupid smiley face guys knocking down prices.
Kmart, though not one of my faves, either, has done a much better job of promoting recognizable brands such as Jacqueline Smith and Martha Stewart. While these brands are certainly not as well-made as something you'd find at Bluefly, for example, they do deliver contemporary styles at reasonable prices.
Wal-Mart, on the other hand, carries cheapo brands in boring colors and styles -- fine if you just want a plain old pair of khakis or blue jeans -- but terrible if you want to inject a little style into your wardrobe or your housewares.
Speaking of style, Target has, quite simply, taken the concepts of "brand" and "style" and run like crazy with them. Their television ads are works of art, showcasing products instead of prices. You know they're going to be inexpensive, but that's not the point. The point is they want you to see that their products and brands are fun, fresh, hip, colorful -- and all shown off to advantage. Their website boasts eight different well-known designers whose designs run the gamut from apparel to linens to appliances.
So where would most people choose to shop? At a store where the only thing you know for sure you'll find is an obnoxious smiley, or at a store where everything begs to be touched, worn, coordinated and accessorized... for around the same price as the boring stuff you'd get at the smiley store?
Wal-Mart is fizzling because it's brand ain't sizzling. And that's the bottom line.
Update: Like I said, Target has much sexier merchandise than either Kmart or Wal-Mart.
_____
From the Rowdies in the Back of the Bus
Dayle sent this: RETARDED GRANDPARENTS
After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school. One child wrote the following:
We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Florida. Now they live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. They ride around on their bicycles and wear nametags because they don't know who they are anymore.
They go to a building called a wrecked center, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now. They do exercises there, but they don't do them very well. There is a swimming pool too, but in it, they all jump up and down with hats on.
At their gate, there is a dollhouse with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out. They go cruising in their golf carts.
Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And, they eat the same thing every night ------early birds.
Some of the people can't get out past the man in the dollhouse. The ones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked center and call it pot luck.
My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too.
When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the dollhouse. Then I will let people out so they can visit their grandchildren!
_____
After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school. One child wrote the following:
We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Florida. Now they live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. They ride around on their bicycles and wear nametags because they don't know who they are anymore.
They go to a building called a wrecked center, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now. They do exercises there, but they don't do them very well. There is a swimming pool too, but in it, they all jump up and down with hats on.
At their gate, there is a dollhouse with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out. They go cruising in their golf carts.
Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And, they eat the same thing every night ------early birds.
Some of the people can't get out past the man in the dollhouse. The ones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked center and call it pot luck.
My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too.
When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the dollhouse. Then I will let people out so they can visit their grandchildren!
_____
Rubber-Necking
Another train wreck in the offing? Aw, man! The boys and girls up at Gino's North ain't gonna be happy about this! (A tip of the cap to Laurence Simon.)
_____
Huh? 'Splain me why anyone would think this would work?
_____
You know my position on cameras and nudity -- don't do it if you can't face the consequences. And there are ALWAYS consequences. So who forgot to tell these guys?
_____
_____
Huh? 'Splain me why anyone would think this would work?
_____
You know my position on cameras and nudity -- don't do it if you can't face the consequences. And there are ALWAYS consequences. So who forgot to tell these guys?
_____
Roadside Diversions
A Carnival for all you capitalists out there.
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If that doesn't grab you, how about a stroll through the midway of the Carnival of the Cats?
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And here's one dedicated to the best of the best each week: Carnival of the Vanities.
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If that doesn't grab you, how about a stroll through the midway of the Carnival of the Cats?
_____
And here's one dedicated to the best of the best each week: Carnival of the Vanities.
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Drive-Bys
After staying in the Bastille arrondissement (No. 11) for a week and passing at least one cheese shop every day, this is no surprise to me. You can smell those shops at least a block away, and passing directly in front of them will make your eyes burn. Really.
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The End of the Line
A true Chicago great passed away over the weekend. Fortunately, Mr. Paschke left a wonderful body of art to remind us of him.
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Makin' a List; Checkin' it Twice...
You might want to do some of your Christmas shopping here for some cool and unusual gifts.
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And here are some money-saving online shopping tips from Elizabeth:
Using the Internet to save BIG
To avoid the crowds at the mall, lots of folks enjoy shopping online.
To help, I've got a shopping secret to share. That secret is "promo codes." Promo codes come directly from the manufacturer, and they save you money.
They snoop all over the Internet for promo codes, then organize and post them in one spot.
Oh, and one more secret. Before you whip out your debit card, take my advice and use your credit card instead. A credit card gives you more leverage in case of a dispute.
TO VISIT TODAY'S SITES, GO HERE, HERE and HERE.
[I've already bookmarked all three sites!]
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Have you got a woman who's impossible to buy for? I guarantee you she doesn't have one of these. Yet.
_____
_____
And here are some money-saving online shopping tips from Elizabeth:
Using the Internet to save BIG
To avoid the crowds at the mall, lots of folks enjoy shopping online.
To help, I've got a shopping secret to share. That secret is "promo codes." Promo codes come directly from the manufacturer, and they save you money.
They snoop all over the Internet for promo codes, then organize and post them in one spot.
Oh, and one more secret. Before you whip out your debit card, take my advice and use your credit card instead. A credit card gives you more leverage in case of a dispute.
TO VISIT TODAY'S SITES, GO HERE, HERE and HERE.
[I've already bookmarked all three sites!]
_____
Have you got a woman who's impossible to buy for? I guarantee you she doesn't have one of these. Yet.
_____
Bus Fumes
Yes, but what if I don't want a nanny? Argh!!!
_____
They say that every thing that goes around comes around. I hope that's true and, if it is, that when things "come around" for this guy, it's complete with a Salvation Army bucket applied with a flourish upside his head.
_____
Remember -- you can't just make the rules; you have to set the example.
_____
A pox upon vandals like this.
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It doesn't matter whether they're threaded for the left hand or the right hand -- a wingnut is a wingnut is a wingnut.
_____
A very good question indeed.
_____
Kim Du Toit does it again. What he said.
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They say that every thing that goes around comes around. I hope that's true and, if it is, that when things "come around" for this guy, it's complete with a Salvation Army bucket applied with a flourish upside his head.
_____
Remember -- you can't just make the rules; you have to set the example.
_____
A pox upon vandals like this.
_____
It doesn't matter whether they're threaded for the left hand or the right hand -- a wingnut is a wingnut is a wingnut.
_____
A very good question indeed.
_____
Kim Du Toit does it again. What he said.
_____
Wide Open Spaces
Mark your calendars! There's a planetary panorama coming in December!
_____
Oooh! December 13th Cassini will be doing a fly-by of Titan prior to sending the Huygens probe in for landing.
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_____
Oooh! December 13th Cassini will be doing a fly-by of Titan prior to sending the Huygens probe in for landing.
_____
Rules of the Road
The Manolo, a few rules he has for the super-fabulous men. (You guys do want to be super-fabulous, don't you?)
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Blessings from the Omnibus Driver
MEL'S THANKSGIVING PRAYER
I am thankful for so much...
For the mornings rich with promise and the nights of quiet solitude,
For hugs, laughter, and confidences exchanged,
For memories of those I've known and the anticipation of those I've not yet met,
For the grand design of life, which I'm unable to understand; the disappointment it sometimes brings... and the hope the human spirit will never allow to be extinguished.
I am thankful for the understanding that yesterday cannot be undone; tomorrow is still unborn.
What holds infinite importance is the present; Today, this moment, and the wonders, wisdom, friendships, and experiences waiting for me to behold.
But most of all, I am thankful for friends, family and bonds that withstand all of life's challenges; giving me the confidence to welcome rain, knowing it's followed by sun, for taking comfort in dark because I know there will be light and for enduring the moments of cold because those I love bring me warmth.
Mel Miles
1943 - 2000
_____
Warm and wonderful Thanksgiving greetings to you and your loved ones. I'm thankful for many things this year -- one of which is having you as a reader. Yes -- each and every one of you.
I am thankful for so much...
For the mornings rich with promise and the nights of quiet solitude,
For hugs, laughter, and confidences exchanged,
For memories of those I've known and the anticipation of those I've not yet met,
For the grand design of life, which I'm unable to understand; the disappointment it sometimes brings... and the hope the human spirit will never allow to be extinguished.
I am thankful for the understanding that yesterday cannot be undone; tomorrow is still unborn.
What holds infinite importance is the present; Today, this moment, and the wonders, wisdom, friendships, and experiences waiting for me to behold.
But most of all, I am thankful for friends, family and bonds that withstand all of life's challenges; giving me the confidence to welcome rain, knowing it's followed by sun, for taking comfort in dark because I know there will be light and for enduring the moments of cold because those I love bring me warmth.
Mel Miles
1943 - 2000
_____
Warm and wonderful Thanksgiving greetings to you and your loved ones. I'm thankful for many things this year -- one of which is having you as a reader. Yes -- each and every one of you.
From the Rowdies in the Back of the Bus
Nancy V. sent me this last year, and I never had a chance to share it:
Divorcing After 45 Years
An old man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, But I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking about," the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man said "We're sick and tired of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her." And he hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "Like heck they're getting a divorce," she shouts. "I'll take care of this."
She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" And she hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "They're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."
_____
And this is from my old friend Kathy:
Things You Can Get Away with Saying Only At Thanksgiving
1. Talk about a huge breast!
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. It's Cool Whip Time!
4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
5. Whew, that's one terrific spread!
6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some.
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
19. How long do I beat it before it's ready?
_____
Divorcing After 45 Years
An old man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, But I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking about," the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man said "We're sick and tired of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her." And he hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "Like heck they're getting a divorce," she shouts. "I'll take care of this."
She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" And she hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "They're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."
_____
And this is from my old friend Kathy:
Things You Can Get Away with Saying Only At Thanksgiving
1. Talk about a huge breast!
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. It's Cool Whip Time!
4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
5. Whew, that's one terrific spread!
6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some.
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
19. How long do I beat it before it's ready?
_____
From the Rowdies in the Back of the Bus
Woundwort directed me over to BlondeStar. Hee hee hee.
_____
Elizabeth introduced me to the concept of METHODIST SQUIRRELS
There were four country churches in a small Alabama town: The Presbyterian church, the Baptist church, the Methodist church and the Catholic church. Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels.
One day, the Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
In the Baptist church the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a large plywood cover on the baptistery and flood it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week.
The Catholic group got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.
But -- the Methodist church came up with the best and most effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church.
Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.
_____
Elizabeth is also responsible for this tale of The Brothers
There once were two young brothers, eight and ten years old, who were exceedingly mischievous. Whenever anything went wrong in the neighborhood, it turned out that they had had a hand in it. Their parents were at their wits' end trying to control them.
One day they heard about a rabbi in town who worked with delinquent boys. The mother suggested to her husband that she ask the rabbi to talk with the boys and he agreed.
So the mother went to the rabbi and made her request.
He agreed, but said he wanted to see the younger boy first and alone.
So the mother sent the younger son to the rabbi.
The rabbi sat the boy down and sat across from him behind his enormous, impressive desk. For about five minutes they just sat and stared at each other. Finally, the rabbi pointed his forefinger at the boy and asked, "Young man, where is God?"
The boy looked under the desk, in the corners of the room, all around, then said nothing.
Again, louder, the rabbi pointed at the boy and asked, "Where is God?"
Again, the boy looked all around but said nothing.
A third time, in a louder, firmer voice, the rabbi leaned far across the desk and put his forefinger almost to the boy's nose, and demanded, "Young man, I ask you, where is God?"
The boy panicked and ran all the way home. Finding his older brother, he dragged him upstairs to their room and into the closet, where they usually plotted their mischief. He finally said,
"We're in bi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-g trouble."
The older boy asked, "What do you mean, bi-i-g trouble?"
His brother replied, "I'm tellin' ya', we're in bi-i-i-g trouble. God is missing and they think we did it!"
_____
From Nancy V.
Twas the night after Thanksgiving,
I just couldn't sleep,
I tried counting backwards,
I tried counting sheep.
The leftovers beckoned -
the dark meat and white,
but I fought the temptations
with all of my might.
Tossing and turning with anticipation,
the thought of a snack was infatuation.
So, I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door,
and gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore.
I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes,
pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes.
I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,
"til all of a sudden, I rose off the ground.
I crashed through the ceiling,
floating into the sky,
with a mouthful of pudding
and handful of pie.
But, I managed to yell
as I soared past the trees...
Happy eating to all -
pass the cranberries, please.
May your stuffing be tasty,
may your turkey be plump,
may your 'tater 'n gravy have narry a lump.
May your yams be delicious,
may your pies take the prize,
may your holiday dinner stay off of your thighs.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!
_____
_____
Elizabeth introduced me to the concept of METHODIST SQUIRRELS
There were four country churches in a small Alabama town: The Presbyterian church, the Baptist church, the Methodist church and the Catholic church. Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels.
One day, the Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
In the Baptist church the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a large plywood cover on the baptistery and flood it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week.
The Catholic group got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.
But -- the Methodist church came up with the best and most effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church.
Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.
_____
Elizabeth is also responsible for this tale of The Brothers
There once were two young brothers, eight and ten years old, who were exceedingly mischievous. Whenever anything went wrong in the neighborhood, it turned out that they had had a hand in it. Their parents were at their wits' end trying to control them.
One day they heard about a rabbi in town who worked with delinquent boys. The mother suggested to her husband that she ask the rabbi to talk with the boys and he agreed.
So the mother went to the rabbi and made her request.
He agreed, but said he wanted to see the younger boy first and alone.
So the mother sent the younger son to the rabbi.
The rabbi sat the boy down and sat across from him behind his enormous, impressive desk. For about five minutes they just sat and stared at each other. Finally, the rabbi pointed his forefinger at the boy and asked, "Young man, where is God?"
The boy looked under the desk, in the corners of the room, all around, then said nothing.
Again, louder, the rabbi pointed at the boy and asked, "Where is God?"
Again, the boy looked all around but said nothing.
A third time, in a louder, firmer voice, the rabbi leaned far across the desk and put his forefinger almost to the boy's nose, and demanded, "Young man, I ask you, where is God?"
The boy panicked and ran all the way home. Finding his older brother, he dragged him upstairs to their room and into the closet, where they usually plotted their mischief. He finally said,
"We're in bi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-g trouble."
The older boy asked, "What do you mean, bi-i-g trouble?"
His brother replied, "I'm tellin' ya', we're in bi-i-i-g trouble. God is missing and they think we did it!"
_____
From Nancy V.
Twas the night after Thanksgiving,
I just couldn't sleep,
I tried counting backwards,
I tried counting sheep.
The leftovers beckoned -
the dark meat and white,
but I fought the temptations
with all of my might.
Tossing and turning with anticipation,
the thought of a snack was infatuation.
So, I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door,
and gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore.
I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes,
pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes.
I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,
"til all of a sudden, I rose off the ground.
I crashed through the ceiling,
floating into the sky,
with a mouthful of pudding
and handful of pie.
But, I managed to yell
as I soared past the trees...
Happy eating to all -
pass the cranberries, please.
May your stuffing be tasty,
may your turkey be plump,
may your 'tater 'n gravy have narry a lump.
May your yams be delicious,
may your pies take the prize,
may your holiday dinner stay off of your thighs.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!
_____
The End of the Line
Farewell, Dr. Keys.
"Starved people cannot be taught democracy."
Indeed.
Let's hope we can take this advice and put it to use in Iraq, and soon.
_____
"Starved people cannot be taught democracy."
Indeed.
Let's hope we can take this advice and put it to use in Iraq, and soon.
_____
Traveling Companions
Lair has posted the upcoming schedule for the Carnival of the Cats here. Want to host one? Here's how.
_____
_____
Bus Fumes
Is it any wonder that I have real fears about the next generation? Where did personal morality and ethics go?
_____
Kiwi Bob snarks at Kofi Anan. Beautiful.
_____
_____
Kiwi Bob snarks at Kofi Anan. Beautiful.
_____
Rubber-Necking
Do you suppose these two were separated at birth?
_____
Oh. So that's the Riot Act.
_____
And this is one place said Riot Act might needs be applied. (A tip of the cap to Evil White Guy.)
_____
_____
Oh. So that's the Riot Act.
_____
And this is one place said Riot Act might needs be applied. (A tip of the cap to Evil White Guy.)
_____
From the Rowdies in the Back of the Bus
Key serves up a tale that'll have you snorkin' coffee through your nose or my name ain't the Omnibus Driver.
____
And speaking of snorkin' up coffee through your nose...
_____
Denny serves up his regular Monday Pun.
_____
____
And speaking of snorkin' up coffee through your nose...
_____
Denny serves up his regular Monday Pun.
_____
Roadside Diner
Pejman and Will Baud are arguing about Heaven on Seven. I lean more towards Pejman's assessment than Will's.
I would point out to Will that truly mediocre Cajun food (but great live blues and fun ambience) can be found at Redfish.
_____
On another note, I wonder if my Chicago readers who like to dine out are aware of a service called Open Table? You get dining points for every reservation you make through them (even if you're making business reservations), and quick confirmations of online reservation requests.
Also, they run some pretty interesting specials from time to time. I went dinner at Narcisse and had a three course fixed-price dinner for $35. What a treat!
_____
I would point out to Will that truly mediocre Cajun food (but great live blues and fun ambience) can be found at Redfish.
_____
On another note, I wonder if my Chicago readers who like to dine out are aware of a service called Open Table? You get dining points for every reservation you make through them (even if you're making business reservations), and quick confirmations of online reservation requests.
Also, they run some pretty interesting specials from time to time. I went dinner at Narcisse and had a three course fixed-price dinner for $35. What a treat!
_____
Tootin' the Horn
This renews my faith in young folks. Way to go, fellers!
_____
Go nominate your favorites. I know I'm going to.
_____
_____
Go nominate your favorites. I know I'm going to.
_____
Bus Fumes
This is simply repugnant. (A tip of the cap to Lair.)
_____
Oh, for cripe's sake! This is ridiculous.
_____
Eeeew!
_____
This is overkill. A big fine and community service, sure. Aren't most jails already overcrowded? Let's just use'em for the really important stuff. Like real criminals.
______
Amen and amen.
_____
Roger Simon at his glorious best: "What Thomson seems to be saying is that the 'balance' situation would be rectified if some of our journos were embedded with the suicide bombers, etc., instead of with those indiscriminately war-like Marines. Care to volunteer, Mr. Thomson?"
Kah-ching.
_____
If believing this means you need a tin foil hat, then I'm digging out mine, too, and dusting off my kazoo and whoopee cushion. It's ridiculous to think that we'd allow anyone but the Secret Service to guard our president.
_____
_____
Oh, for cripe's sake! This is ridiculous.
_____
Eeeew!
_____
This is overkill. A big fine and community service, sure. Aren't most jails already overcrowded? Let's just use'em for the really important stuff. Like real criminals.
______
Amen and amen.
_____
Roger Simon at his glorious best: "What Thomson seems to be saying is that the 'balance' situation would be rectified if some of our journos were embedded with the suicide bombers, etc., instead of with those indiscriminately war-like Marines. Care to volunteer, Mr. Thomson?"
Kah-ching.
_____
If believing this means you need a tin foil hat, then I'm digging out mine, too, and dusting off my kazoo and whoopee cushion. It's ridiculous to think that we'd allow anyone but the Secret Service to guard our president.
_____
Wide Open Spaces
Elizabeth sent me this link to the astronomy picture of the day. This is going in my bookmarks!
_____
NASA finally gets the Swift into orbit on a dying star mission. I wonder if it's carrying Man-in-the-Moon Marigolds?
_____
Russia is shooting for a space base on the moon in 2020? Wow. Mr. Bush and Congress better get a move-on.
_____
SpaceShipOne is Time's invention of the year (as it should be).
_____
_____
NASA finally gets the Swift into orbit on a dying star mission. I wonder if it's carrying Man-in-the-Moon Marigolds?
_____
Russia is shooting for a space base on the moon in 2020? Wow. Mr. Bush and Congress better get a move-on.
_____
SpaceShipOne is Time's invention of the year (as it should be).
_____
Carnival of the Cats
First of all, a big smoocheroo to Lair for allowing me to host this week's Carnival. Hugs and purrs to all who sent in your entries. (I think Lair was a little worried it would be thin. Hah! You've all outdone yourselves.)
So who's riding along and what's happening on the Bus?
Beth Donovan has a new little traveling companion, who as yet remains nameless. Pop on over and drop a suggestion in her comments.
Darcy says Lorax has been a naughty, naughty boy [*er*... girl]. But the kids are being fashion-forward here.
Jeff at Athenamama says that Thalia has identity issues. I think he's right.
The kids over at CatHouse Chat are showing off their intelligence and good looks.
Sissy sends photos of Tiny auditioning for my "Rowdies in the Back of the Bus" team. (Tiny's in like Flint, Sissy -- not to worry.) Babycakes and Tiny beg the questions, "Who defines mental health?" and "what makes a boy a boy?" Finally, Baby ponders the Cabinet Two-Step.
Dusty is a very pious kitty, indeed. (Thanks, Annie, and welcome to cat blogging!)
Jan says that Pepper missed the Carnival deadline last week. Thank goodness Pepper was on time at the Bus stop this week!
Ever fund yourself with a Busload of kittens and need to know how to find them good homes? Caitlin has the answer.
Tabby and Boo are giving a little wave from the People's Republic of Seabrook.
Daphne is demonstrating her flexibility for Chloe. Matt thinks Daphne is unimpressed. (Personally, I think Daphne looks like that's kid stuff.)
The kids over at Your Moosey Fate are snorting the wacky weed.
What in the world is this little girl thinking of? This calls for a caption contest. Drop on by Maggie's place and drop your suggestion in her comments!
Mog's got a few naughty babies over at her place, as well. See what I mean? (Don't you wish you could bottle and sell that energy?)
Butter, Sasha and Toby allow Robbie to get on the bus. That's okay, Brendan. We always allow well-behaved traveling companions on the bus.
What's the difference between physicians and veterinarians? nycbabylon has the answer. Let's hope both of these Gothamites are feeling better real soon.
Watermark has a clowder of kitty cuteness for your enjoyment. Christina sends even more.
Quan Yin is practicing black magic over at Gretchen's place.
Toonces is practicing kitty aerobics. Healthy, Flig!
Mason sends us the million mile stare. Pensive. V-e-r-r-r-r-y pensive.
Who needs the Bus? Tommy is walking on sunshine.
Datsa refuses to relinquish the seat. Smart kitty. Elayne should just go get her own.
No blogging for Fred today. Smart, smart kitty.
Emily knows the true value of a gift. Silly Catherine! Didn't you know this?
Porter is demonstrating his sumo attire. (Thanks, Kevin for sharing.)
Schatzi demonstrates her sock-thieving skills for Peter.
Michael says that Tinker is showing off for the camera. She should be on the cover of Cat Fancy!
A Carnival of the Cats without Edloe is like a day without sunshine. At least, that's what Lair tells us.
Petra takes a bath and makes Wind Rider really proud.
Acidman leaves the country and gets cat-bombed again. Jeez. McGeehee and I are both going to have to keep a low profile at the next Jawja blogmeet. (Yes, I'm planning on attending.)
Steve sets out the gangplank for the Friday Ark. Like I said before, there's always room for well-behaved traveling companions here.
Lis is asking about heated cat beds here. Can anybody help? Gotta keep my passengers comfy, you know!
Maddie tells tales on Kadi.
Over at Cat-o-Bloggo, Angelo throws a party for himself.
Steve says She Who Must Be Obeyed, Hakuna and Mata would rather stay in bed than ride the Bus. Gotcha anyway!
Chester thinks Teena is a bit unnatural. Greeblie thinks Chester's not the sharpest crayon in the box.
El Capitan joins the cat blogging briggade by featuring Betsy. Welcome aboard!
Stan found and sent these photos of Reba. She's so silly!
J.R. says when the gang says, "Get up!", resistance is futile.
Over the Rainbow Bridge: Cathy writes a wonderful tribute to Felice.
And a quick story from Your Driver. Buckaroo Bonsai has acquired a traveling companion named Tiger Boots, who's had a little stress lately. (Adopted into home with big, icky dog; shipped to Indianapolis from southwestern Missouri, then hauled to Chicago. You do the math.) Anyway, Tiger Boots took one look at me and headed under the bed for a good hard think about this new indignity foisted upon her. Being the sensible cat person that I am, I ignored her and let her do things in her own time.
Cut to bed time. In bed, covers over my head, and Tiger Boots came up for a visit. Taps me on the top of the head. I yank the covers down a bit, she takes one look at me, realizes it's not Buckaroo Bonsai, and says, "Holy Sh*t!!!" I know cats can move fast, but she set a new land speed record retreating out of there.
There's a happy ending, though. Guess who was sleeping between my feet this morning?
_____
That's all for now, folks. Don't forget that the next Carnival of the Cats will again be hosted by Lair. Send in your entries. [Correction: Watermark will be hosting next.]
(And once again, thanks for doing me proud!)
_____
Update: Norton was late, but who can resist a music-loving feline? (A tip of the cap to Kimberly at Music and Cats.)
_____
So who's riding along and what's happening on the Bus?
Beth Donovan has a new little traveling companion, who as yet remains nameless. Pop on over and drop a suggestion in her comments.
Darcy says Lorax has been a naughty, naughty boy [*er*... girl]. But the kids are being fashion-forward here.
Jeff at Athenamama says that Thalia has identity issues. I think he's right.
The kids over at CatHouse Chat are showing off their intelligence and good looks.
Sissy sends photos of Tiny auditioning for my "Rowdies in the Back of the Bus" team. (Tiny's in like Flint, Sissy -- not to worry.) Babycakes and Tiny beg the questions, "Who defines mental health?" and "what makes a boy a boy?" Finally, Baby ponders the Cabinet Two-Step.
Dusty is a very pious kitty, indeed. (Thanks, Annie, and welcome to cat blogging!)
Jan says that Pepper missed the Carnival deadline last week. Thank goodness Pepper was on time at the Bus stop this week!
Ever fund yourself with a Busload of kittens and need to know how to find them good homes? Caitlin has the answer.
Tabby and Boo are giving a little wave from the People's Republic of Seabrook.
Daphne is demonstrating her flexibility for Chloe. Matt thinks Daphne is unimpressed. (Personally, I think Daphne looks like that's kid stuff.)
The kids over at Your Moosey Fate are snorting the wacky weed.
What in the world is this little girl thinking of? This calls for a caption contest. Drop on by Maggie's place and drop your suggestion in her comments!
Mog's got a few naughty babies over at her place, as well. See what I mean? (Don't you wish you could bottle and sell that energy?)
Butter, Sasha and Toby allow Robbie to get on the bus. That's okay, Brendan. We always allow well-behaved traveling companions on the bus.
What's the difference between physicians and veterinarians? nycbabylon has the answer. Let's hope both of these Gothamites are feeling better real soon.
Watermark has a clowder of kitty cuteness for your enjoyment. Christina sends even more.
Quan Yin is practicing black magic over at Gretchen's place.
Toonces is practicing kitty aerobics. Healthy, Flig!
Mason sends us the million mile stare. Pensive. V-e-r-r-r-r-y pensive.
Who needs the Bus? Tommy is walking on sunshine.
Datsa refuses to relinquish the seat. Smart kitty. Elayne should just go get her own.
No blogging for Fred today. Smart, smart kitty.
Emily knows the true value of a gift. Silly Catherine! Didn't you know this?
Porter is demonstrating his sumo attire. (Thanks, Kevin for sharing.)
Schatzi demonstrates her sock-thieving skills for Peter.
Michael says that Tinker is showing off for the camera. She should be on the cover of Cat Fancy!
A Carnival of the Cats without Edloe is like a day without sunshine. At least, that's what Lair tells us.
Petra takes a bath and makes Wind Rider really proud.
Acidman leaves the country and gets cat-bombed again. Jeez. McGeehee and I are both going to have to keep a low profile at the next Jawja blogmeet. (Yes, I'm planning on attending.)
Steve sets out the gangplank for the Friday Ark. Like I said before, there's always room for well-behaved traveling companions here.
Lis is asking about heated cat beds here. Can anybody help? Gotta keep my passengers comfy, you know!
Maddie tells tales on Kadi.
Over at Cat-o-Bloggo, Angelo throws a party for himself.
Steve says She Who Must Be Obeyed, Hakuna and Mata would rather stay in bed than ride the Bus. Gotcha anyway!
Chester thinks Teena is a bit unnatural. Greeblie thinks Chester's not the sharpest crayon in the box.
El Capitan joins the cat blogging briggade by featuring Betsy. Welcome aboard!
Stan found and sent these photos of Reba. She's so silly!
J.R. says when the gang says, "Get up!", resistance is futile.
Over the Rainbow Bridge: Cathy writes a wonderful tribute to Felice.
And a quick story from Your Driver. Buckaroo Bonsai has acquired a traveling companion named Tiger Boots, who's had a little stress lately. (Adopted into home with big, icky dog; shipped to Indianapolis from southwestern Missouri, then hauled to Chicago. You do the math.) Anyway, Tiger Boots took one look at me and headed under the bed for a good hard think about this new indignity foisted upon her. Being the sensible cat person that I am, I ignored her and let her do things in her own time.
Cut to bed time. In bed, covers over my head, and Tiger Boots came up for a visit. Taps me on the top of the head. I yank the covers down a bit, she takes one look at me, realizes it's not Buckaroo Bonsai, and says, "Holy Sh*t!!!" I know cats can move fast, but she set a new land speed record retreating out of there.
There's a happy ending, though. Guess who was sleeping between my feet this morning?
_____
That's all for now, folks. Don't forget that the next Carnival of the Cats will again be hosted by Lair. Send in your entries. [Correction: Watermark will be hosting next.]
(And once again, thanks for doing me proud!)
_____
Update: Norton was late, but who can resist a music-loving feline? (A tip of the cap to Kimberly at Music and Cats.)
_____
Tootin' the Horn
Jeepers! There's all sorts of good news this week.
_____
Don't forget I'm hosting the Carnival of the Cats for the coming week. Send me your links via Laurence.
_____
_____
Don't forget I'm hosting the Carnival of the Cats for the coming week. Send me your links via Laurence.
_____
Rubber-Necking
Two that made me spew all over the monitor. The Manolo, he is super fantastic.
_____
Gin & Tonic, Mojito and Fuzzy Navel are "scents that harken back to childhood memories"??? Sex On The Beach? Whose childhood exactly are these crazy people talking about? (A tip of the cap to J-Walk.)
_____
_____
Gin & Tonic, Mojito and Fuzzy Navel are "scents that harken back to childhood memories"??? Sex On The Beach? Whose childhood exactly are these crazy people talking about? (A tip of the cap to J-Walk.)
_____
Drive-Bys
I was feeling really naughty this morning. How naughty? Salad Spinners' "Bacon Bomb" naughty. Three eggs. Half a pound of bacon. Half a pound of sharp cheddar cheese. (At least I think those are the proportions. Seems like it, anyway.) Nature's perfect food.
Update: I compounded the damage by going to a Thai restaurant for lunch. Chicken Mussamun.
Yup. The assault on my digestive system is complete.
_____
Saw Buckaroo Bonsai last night. He was surprised (and pleased) by the new look. Yes indeedy!
I met his dad last weekend. This weekend it's his stepdad. Gadzooks! How did that happen?
_____
Update: I compounded the damage by going to a Thai restaurant for lunch. Chicken Mussamun.
Yup. The assault on my digestive system is complete.
_____
Saw Buckaroo Bonsai last night. He was surprised (and pleased) by the new look. Yes indeedy!
I met his dad last weekend. This weekend it's his stepdad. Gadzooks! How did that happen?
_____
Bus Fumes
You know it's a scary day when I agree with Prince Charles. Call me crazy, but I don't see that he really said anything wrong here. In fact, I do believe he's correct.
_____
Jeff on a rant is a wonder to behold.
Ahem. I believe this is exactly what he's talking about.
_____
So there.
_____
Some members of the Fraternal Order of the Flaming Fecal Fez can and will suck the fun out of just about anything by making it "politically correct."
_____
_____
Jeff on a rant is a wonder to behold.
Ahem. I believe this is exactly what he's talking about.
_____
So there.
_____
Some members of the Fraternal Order of the Flaming Fecal Fez can and will suck the fun out of just about anything by making it "politically correct."
_____
Tootin' the Horn
This is the best news I've heard in a long time. A big smoocheroo to the troops from yours truly!
_____
_____
From the Rowdies in the Back of the Bus
Another telephone story! (This one had me on the floor, shaking with laughter, tears streaming down my cheeks.)
(A tip of the cap to Queenie's blogmother -- Key.)
_____
Another Key-spawn heard from.
_____
Elizabeth weighs in with a nifty idea: AN ALTERNATIVE RETIREMENT HOME
There will be no nursing home in my future.........
When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations at Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:
1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.
2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service ( which means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week).
3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night.
4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.
5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
6. I will get to meet new people every 7or 14 days.
7. T.V. broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience.
8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.
9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare. If you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you want to go? Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.
P.S. And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side at no charge.
_____
Mirthful Sadie is guest blogging over at SWG's place. She had this cool quiz for your super hero personality. I was picturing myself as Bat Girl. So what do I get instead?
My Superhero Name? The Armadillo [That so sucks.]
Super Power? Ability to fly [Okay. That kind of rocks.]
My Enemy? Circus clowns [No, no, NO! That's my friend Suzanne's hang-up. Now, pantyhose -- that's another story! That's really my enemy.]
Mode of Transportation? Giant hamster named "Skippy" [After a couple of cocktails I might consider it, but I'd still rather have my motorized barstool with cooler trailer, autopilot and built in cup holder...]
Weapon? Frying pan [As Quick Draw McGraw used to say, "Elllllllllllllll kaBONG!"]
I'm mortified, I think.
Now YOU go try it, and report back in the comments!
_____
(A tip of the cap to Queenie's blogmother -- Key.)
_____
Another Key-spawn heard from.
_____
Elizabeth weighs in with a nifty idea: AN ALTERNATIVE RETIREMENT HOME
There will be no nursing home in my future.........
When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations at Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:
1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.
2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service ( which means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week).
3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night.
4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.
5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
6. I will get to meet new people every 7or 14 days.
7. T.V. broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience.
8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.
9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare. If you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you want to go? Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.
P.S. And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side at no charge.
_____
Mirthful Sadie is guest blogging over at SWG's place. She had this cool quiz for your super hero personality. I was picturing myself as Bat Girl. So what do I get instead?
My Superhero Name? The Armadillo [That so sucks.]
Super Power? Ability to fly [Okay. That kind of rocks.]
My Enemy? Circus clowns [No, no, NO! That's my friend Suzanne's hang-up. Now, pantyhose -- that's another story! That's really my enemy.]
Mode of Transportation? Giant hamster named "Skippy" [After a couple of cocktails I might consider it, but I'd still rather have my motorized barstool with cooler trailer, autopilot and built in cup holder...]
Weapon? Frying pan [As Quick Draw McGraw used to say, "Elllllllllllllll kaBONG!"]
I'm mortified, I think.
Now YOU go try it, and report back in the comments!
_____
Drive-Bys
To tell the truth, I have very mixed feelings about this. On one hand, it's a holiday tradition stretching back a long way for a charity that does provide some great services to the community. On the other hand, it can be just plain annoying.
How do you feel about this? (Drop a note in the comments, okay?)
Update: Lileks gives an interesting perspective on this debate. (Scroll down.)
_____
Sometimes the Manolo, he is the master of the understatement...
_____
Ah! Good Parenting 101. Let the punishment fit the crime, indeed.
_____
If you're not part of the problem, why not at least be a part of the solution? (I know, I know. Another damned Carnival. I thought I could just sneak it by you...)
_____
How do you feel about this? (Drop a note in the comments, okay?)
Update: Lileks gives an interesting perspective on this debate. (Scroll down.)
_____
Sometimes the Manolo, he is the master of the understatement...
_____
Ah! Good Parenting 101. Let the punishment fit the crime, indeed.
_____
If you're not part of the problem, why not at least be a part of the solution? (I know, I know. Another damned Carnival. I thought I could just sneak it by you...)
_____
From the Rowdies in the Back of the Bus
Elizabeth always sends me great jokes: Hats Off!
A Rabbi was walking, slowly, out of a shul in New York, when a gust of wind blew his hat off and down the street. He was an old man, who walked with the aid of a cane, and he couldn't run after the hat. Across the street, a young gentile man saw what was happening, rushed over and grabbed the hat. He then returned it to the Rabbi.
"I don't think I could have retrieved my hat by myself," said the Rabbi. "Thank you very much!" He then placed his hand on the man's shoulder and said, "May God bless you."
The young man thought to himself, "I've been blessed by the Rabbi, this must be my lucky day!" He decided then and there to go to the racetrack. In the first race he noticed a horse named 'Stetson' at 20 to 1. He bet $50 and, sure enough, the horse came in first. In the second race, a horse named 'Fedora' was at 30 to 1, so he bet all his money on that horse. Fedora came in first, as well.
At the end of the day the man returned home to his wife. She asked him where he'd been. He explained about catching the Rabbi's hat, and being blessed by him, and how he then went to the track and did so well betting on horses named after hats.
"So where's the money?" she said. "I lost it all in the ninth race. I bet on a horse named 'Chateau' and it lost."
"You fool," exclaimed his wife, 'Chateau' is a house, 'chapeau' is a hat!"
"It doesn't matter," he said, "the winner was some Japanese horse named 'Yarmulka'."
_____
Want To Order Pizza?
FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital in San Diego that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud. After hours of reviewing thousands of medical records, the dozens of agents had worked up quite an appetite. The agent in charge of the investigation called a nearby pizza parlor with delivery service to order a quick dinner for his colleagues. The following telephone conversation took place and was recorded because they were taping all conversations at the hospital:
Agent: Hello. I'd like to order 19 large pizzas and 67 cans of soda.
Pizza Man: And where would you like them delivered?
Agent: We're over at the psychiatric hospital.
Pizza Man: The psychiatric hospital?
Agent: That's right. I'm an FBI agent.
Pizza Man: You're an FBI agent?
Agent: That's correct. Just about everybody here is.
Pizza Man: And you're at the psychiatric hospital?
Agent: That's correct. And make sure you don't go through the front doors. We have them locked. You'll have to go around to the back service entrance to deliver the pizzas.
Pizza Man: And you say you're all FBI agents?
Agent: That's right. How soon can you have them here?
Pizza Man: Everyone at the psychiatric hospital is an FBI agent?
Agent: That's right. We've been here all day and we're starving.
Pizza Man: How are you going to pay for all of this?
Agent: I have my checkbook right here.
Pizza Man: And you're all FBI agents?
Agent: That's right. Everyone here is an FBI agent. Can you remember to bring the pizzas and sodas to the service entrance in the rear? We have the front doors locked.
Pizza Man: I don't think so. *Click*
_____
My friend Marian sent me this link. I wonder if the Llama Butchers know they have a theme song? This ought to give Jeff nightmares for a week!
_____
A Rabbi was walking, slowly, out of a shul in New York, when a gust of wind blew his hat off and down the street. He was an old man, who walked with the aid of a cane, and he couldn't run after the hat. Across the street, a young gentile man saw what was happening, rushed over and grabbed the hat. He then returned it to the Rabbi.
"I don't think I could have retrieved my hat by myself," said the Rabbi. "Thank you very much!" He then placed his hand on the man's shoulder and said, "May God bless you."
The young man thought to himself, "I've been blessed by the Rabbi, this must be my lucky day!" He decided then and there to go to the racetrack. In the first race he noticed a horse named 'Stetson' at 20 to 1. He bet $50 and, sure enough, the horse came in first. In the second race, a horse named 'Fedora' was at 30 to 1, so he bet all his money on that horse. Fedora came in first, as well.
At the end of the day the man returned home to his wife. She asked him where he'd been. He explained about catching the Rabbi's hat, and being blessed by him, and how he then went to the track and did so well betting on horses named after hats.
"So where's the money?" she said. "I lost it all in the ninth race. I bet on a horse named 'Chateau' and it lost."
"You fool," exclaimed his wife, 'Chateau' is a house, 'chapeau' is a hat!"
"It doesn't matter," he said, "the winner was some Japanese horse named 'Yarmulka'."
_____
Want To Order Pizza?
FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital in San Diego that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud. After hours of reviewing thousands of medical records, the dozens of agents had worked up quite an appetite. The agent in charge of the investigation called a nearby pizza parlor with delivery service to order a quick dinner for his colleagues. The following telephone conversation took place and was recorded because they were taping all conversations at the hospital:
Agent: Hello. I'd like to order 19 large pizzas and 67 cans of soda.
Pizza Man: And where would you like them delivered?
Agent: We're over at the psychiatric hospital.
Pizza Man: The psychiatric hospital?
Agent: That's right. I'm an FBI agent.
Pizza Man: You're an FBI agent?
Agent: That's correct. Just about everybody here is.
Pizza Man: And you're at the psychiatric hospital?
Agent: That's correct. And make sure you don't go through the front doors. We have them locked. You'll have to go around to the back service entrance to deliver the pizzas.
Pizza Man: And you say you're all FBI agents?
Agent: That's right. How soon can you have them here?
Pizza Man: Everyone at the psychiatric hospital is an FBI agent?
Agent: That's right. We've been here all day and we're starving.
Pizza Man: How are you going to pay for all of this?
Agent: I have my checkbook right here.
Pizza Man: And you're all FBI agents?
Agent: That's right. Everyone here is an FBI agent. Can you remember to bring the pizzas and sodas to the service entrance in the rear? We have the front doors locked.
Pizza Man: I don't think so. *Click*
_____
My friend Marian sent me this link. I wonder if the Llama Butchers know they have a theme song? This ought to give Jeff nightmares for a week!
_____
Drive-Bys
Great minds think alike. And to prove it, I had almost the identical thought when I heard this on the news this morning.
_____
What was that song the Scarecrow sang in "The Wizard of Oz"? Ah, yes! "If I Only had a Brain"
(A tip of the cap to Wind Rider.)
_____
Here's a fun little meme that's popped up on a couple of blogs today. Here's my list of 10:
1. St. Joseph's aspirin for children
2. Spritz cookies fresh from the oven at Christmas time
3. Love's Baby Soft
4. Watermelon Lip Smacker
5. Meatloaf, mashed potatoes and corn
6. The fresh green scent of my dad's hugs immediately after he'd cut the lawn
7. Chapstick (Daddy never left home without the stuff.)
8. Manure-spreading down at the family farm
9. 4711 (my great grandmother wore it)
10. The almost new-car scent of a brand new pair of Red Ball Jets
_____
This is also going on my Christmas list. Thanks to my wonderful, generous, all-around great guy of a boss, I got to see this concert at the United Center. Simon & Garfunkel and the Everly Brothers. Hot damn!
_____
Professor Bainbridge takes out the cluebat gives the Nanny State a sharp rap upside the head. I wonder what he'd make of this?
_____
_____
What was that song the Scarecrow sang in "The Wizard of Oz"? Ah, yes! "If I Only had a Brain"
(A tip of the cap to Wind Rider.)
_____
Here's a fun little meme that's popped up on a couple of blogs today. Here's my list of 10:
1. St. Joseph's aspirin for children
2. Spritz cookies fresh from the oven at Christmas time
3. Love's Baby Soft
4. Watermelon Lip Smacker
5. Meatloaf, mashed potatoes and corn
6. The fresh green scent of my dad's hugs immediately after he'd cut the lawn
7. Chapstick (Daddy never left home without the stuff.)
8. Manure-spreading down at the family farm
9. 4711 (my great grandmother wore it)
10. The almost new-car scent of a brand new pair of Red Ball Jets
_____
This is also going on my Christmas list. Thanks to my wonderful, generous, all-around great guy of a boss, I got to see this concert at the United Center. Simon & Garfunkel and the Everly Brothers. Hot damn!
_____
Professor Bainbridge takes out the cluebat gives the Nanny State a sharp rap upside the head. I wonder what he'd make of this?
_____
Rubber Necking
Huh?
_____
My Blogdaddy is a sick, sick puppy, and I can prove it: he sent me this link. Gack.
_____
Run that reasoning by me again? (A tip of the cap to the Group Captain.)
_____
This should cause some whiplash, guys!
_____
_____
My Blogdaddy is a sick, sick puppy, and I can prove it: he sent me this link. Gack.
_____
Run that reasoning by me again? (A tip of the cap to the Group Captain.)
_____
This should cause some whiplash, guys!
_____
Roadside Diversions
More Carnivals! Carnival of the Dogs is here. Carnival of the Rugrats is here.
Seems like there's a Carnival for almost everything, no?
_____
Carnivals not your style? Then go warm your hands over the Bonfire of the Vanities, instead.
_____
Seems like there's a Carnival for almost everything, no?
_____
Carnivals not your style? Then go warm your hands over the Bonfire of the Vanities, instead.
_____
Drive-Bys
Prelude to a swoon. (Fans self vigorously.) Whew!
Was that as good for you as it was for me?
_____
Juliette steered me to "How to be a Happy Woman." Damn, Skippy. I gotta try some of that stuff. I think I'm going to post that list right over my desk.
_____
I made a trip to the beauty salon today. Most excellent. Shorter. Darker. Sexier. I think Buckaroo Bonsai is in for a shock. (Nope. I didn't tell him before I did it.)
_____
Was that as good for you as it was for me?
_____
Juliette steered me to "How to be a Happy Woman." Damn, Skippy. I gotta try some of that stuff. I think I'm going to post that list right over my desk.
_____
I made a trip to the beauty salon today. Most excellent. Shorter. Darker. Sexier. I think Buckaroo Bonsai is in for a shock. (Nope. I didn't tell him before I did it.)
_____
Roadside Diversions
The Carnival of the Cats is up at Your Moosey Fate. (Guess I better get cracking and do some cat posting, as I'm hosting the next Carnival of the Cats!)
_____
For all you business types out there, you might want to take a spin through the Carnival of the Capitalists. Great stuff!
_____
_____
For all you business types out there, you might want to take a spin through the Carnival of the Capitalists. Great stuff!
_____
Chartered Excursions - Iraq
Iraq the Model is celebrating its one-year anniversary. Think whatever you want, but there's no way they would have been up and running one week, let alone a whole year, under Saddam.
"Together, you and us were, and will always be closer than brothers and sisters trying to stand against the powers of darkness and ignorance, doing our best to make our voice louder and louder and to make everyone see what our dream is." -- Mohammed
"Our unlimited joy with our new found freedom that we still enjoy its sweetness is too precious to be lost or sold no matter what the price." -- Ali
"The most important thing we achieved in the past year is building trust and understanding among us, failing the evil attempts of those who want us to think of each other as enemies." -- Omar
I dare you to read this and not be moved.
_____
"Together, you and us were, and will always be closer than brothers and sisters trying to stand against the powers of darkness and ignorance, doing our best to make our voice louder and louder and to make everyone see what our dream is." -- Mohammed
"Our unlimited joy with our new found freedom that we still enjoy its sweetness is too precious to be lost or sold no matter what the price." -- Ali
"The most important thing we achieved in the past year is building trust and understanding among us, failing the evil attempts of those who want us to think of each other as enemies." -- Omar
I dare you to read this and not be moved.
_____
PSA
At least, in my opinion it's a Public Service Announcement.
If you're one of those people whose lips peel, crack and fall off daily starting in October, I've found a WONDERFUL product. Blistex's Pro Relief is like nothing I've ever found before. It's not waxy like Chapstick, messy to apply like Carmex, or just plain greasy like Vaseline lip balm -- it just soothes and moisturizes. Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!
I thought you might like to know. Your lips will thank you.
_____
If you're one of those people whose lips peel, crack and fall off daily starting in October, I've found a WONDERFUL product. Blistex's Pro Relief is like nothing I've ever found before. It's not waxy like Chapstick, messy to apply like Carmex, or just plain greasy like Vaseline lip balm -- it just soothes and moisturizes. Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!
I thought you might like to know. Your lips will thank you.
_____
Bus Fumes
'Scuse me, but Tom Hanks is just too long in the tooth for this role. Don't get me wrong -- he's a wonderful actor. But not in this particular role.
_____
What have I said before about doing stupid things in front of a camera? Sheesh!
_____
See? Much better. No last names. Anonymity maintained.
_____
I don't know about you, but these "stupid dad" ads set my hair aflame. I may not have always agreed with my father, but I always respected and loved him. And I'd give anything to have him back.
Boycott Verizon until they quit with crap ads like this. Boycott any other company that chooses to run crap ads like this. The buck is a mighty weapon, you know.
(A tip of the cap to the Instapundit.)
_____
_____
What have I said before about doing stupid things in front of a camera? Sheesh!
_____
See? Much better. No last names. Anonymity maintained.
_____
I don't know about you, but these "stupid dad" ads set my hair aflame. I may not have always agreed with my father, but I always respected and loved him. And I'd give anything to have him back.
Boycott Verizon until they quit with crap ads like this. Boycott any other company that chooses to run crap ads like this. The buck is a mighty weapon, you know.
(A tip of the cap to the Instapundit.)
_____
Rubber-Necking
Is the myth about to become a reality?
_____
They did what with that cash? (That must be the world's most expensive insulation!)
_____
It may just be his best defense.
_____
I'll drink to that, Manolo.
_____
_____
They did what with that cash? (That must be the world's most expensive insulation!)
_____
It may just be his best defense.
_____
I'll drink to that, Manolo.
_____
PSA
Put Your Cell Phone on the Do Not Call List
A directory of cell phone numbers will soon be published for all consumers to have access to. This will open the doors for solicitors to call you on your cell phones, using up precious minutes that we pay lots of money for.
The Federal Trade Commission has set up a "do not call" list. It is called a cell phone registry. To be included on the "do not call" list, you must call from the number you wish to register. The number is 1-888-382-1222 OR you can go to their web site at _http://www.donotcall.gov_/ (http://www.donotcall.gov/) and add your number to the do not call list. please give this to friends who have cell phones.
[Thanks, Elizabeth!]
I did it myself, and it's very easy. One more note:
"Once you have registered, your phone number registration will be effective for 5 years. It will be illegal for most telemarketers to call you, and you will be able to file a complaint if a telemarketer does call you. The website www.donotcall.gov provides information about filing a complaint."
_____
A directory of cell phone numbers will soon be published for all consumers to have access to. This will open the doors for solicitors to call you on your cell phones, using up precious minutes that we pay lots of money for.
The Federal Trade Commission has set up a "do not call" list. It is called a cell phone registry. To be included on the "do not call" list, you must call from the number you wish to register. The number is 1-888-382-1222 OR you can go to their web site at _http://www.donotcall.gov_/ (http://www.donotcall.gov/) and add your number to the do not call list. please give this to friends who have cell phones.
[Thanks, Elizabeth!]
I did it myself, and it's very easy. One more note:
"Once you have registered, your phone number registration will be effective for 5 years. It will be illegal for most telemarketers to call you, and you will be able to file a complaint if a telemarketer does call you. The website www.donotcall.gov provides information about filing a complaint."
_____
Bus Fumes
Here's another post that should scare you spitless. It did me. (And she's right. Where is that number coming from?)
_____
_____
Wide Open Spaces
Who knew the moon has a gateway?
_____
Are scientists planning a robot village on the moon?
_____
The International Space Station crew will redock spaceship.
_____
_____
Are scientists planning a robot village on the moon?
_____
The International Space Station crew will redock spaceship.
_____
From the Rowdies in the Back of the Bus
My brother would have been great pals with this guy and this guy, if they had met as children.
_____
One for the boys from the Evil White Guy. Enjoy, fellers!
_____
More rowdy goodness. What's your excuse?
_____
I took Mog's little quiz. Here's the result.
The Cheshire Cat! You're a sly cat who grins on the
outside, but schemes on the inside. Even your
best friends don't realize that you may
actually be their worst enemy!
What kind of cat are you?
brought to you by Quizilla.
_____
Me, too. (Why, Professor Bainbridge! I didn't know you had a rowdy streak.)
_____
_____
One for the boys from the Evil White Guy. Enjoy, fellers!
_____
More rowdy goodness. What's your excuse?
_____
I took Mog's little quiz. Here's the result.
The Cheshire Cat! You're a sly cat who grins on the
outside, but schemes on the inside. Even your
best friends don't realize that you may
actually be their worst enemy!
What kind of cat are you?
brought to you by Quizilla.
_____
Me, too. (Why, Professor Bainbridge! I didn't know you had a rowdy streak.)
_____
Bus Fumes
"It is the most important blog-related event anywhere." Phooey on that self-important nonsense. This is. (The blogfest, that is -- not the wedding.) And I'm going. Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, NYAH, nyah to you, Mr. Cox.
_____
_____
Rubber-Necking
She must be related to Courtney Love, somehow. Secret birth mother, perhaps?
_____
Betcha can't get through this article without cracking a smile.
_____
_____
Betcha can't get through this article without cracking a smile.
_____
End of the Line
Not a moment too soon, either. But what in the heck kind of wacky weed is the Pope smoking? Argh! And why doesn't nonsense like this surprise me?
Ain't this more like the truth?
_____
Ain't this more like the truth?
_____
Roadside Diversions
This week's Carnival of the Vanities is up, and the theme is "Having Nothing To Do With Partisan Politics." I'll drink to that.
_____
_____
The Mom Update
I know, I know -- I haven't done one of these in a while, mostly because Mom has been doing so well.
BUT, we just got news that's more than a little disconcerting. Apparently the tumor (for those who don't know, my mom has stage 3 lung cancer -- and it's inoperable) has almost doubled in size in the last six months (4 mm, up from 2.5 mm). That's the stomach-clenching news.
The good news is that her new oncologist in Florida seems to think that there are a number of options to consider, and she'll be meeting with him next week to discuss them. Mom says he sounded relatively upbeat about this -- in no way was he being the Voice of Doom.
So. I'm reaching back out into the ether and asking you all to fire up the prayer chain again for Mom and my family. We're not panicking here, but prayer has been a powerful source of peace and comfort for us in the past. We'll deal with stuff as we need to... but it sure helps to know we've got family and good friends keeping us in their prayers.
I'll do another update next week, once we know what all the options are. It'll be hard to type with my fingers crossed, but I think I can manage it for a few days.
Thank you.
_____
BUT, we just got news that's more than a little disconcerting. Apparently the tumor (for those who don't know, my mom has stage 3 lung cancer -- and it's inoperable) has almost doubled in size in the last six months (4 mm, up from 2.5 mm). That's the stomach-clenching news.
The good news is that her new oncologist in Florida seems to think that there are a number of options to consider, and she'll be meeting with him next week to discuss them. Mom says he sounded relatively upbeat about this -- in no way was he being the Voice of Doom.
So. I'm reaching back out into the ether and asking you all to fire up the prayer chain again for Mom and my family. We're not panicking here, but prayer has been a powerful source of peace and comfort for us in the past. We'll deal with stuff as we need to... but it sure helps to know we've got family and good friends keeping us in their prayers.
I'll do another update next week, once we know what all the options are. It'll be hard to type with my fingers crossed, but I think I can manage it for a few days.
Thank you.
_____
Wide Open Spaces
Planetary Society sets date for launch of solar sail spacecraft. It just amazes me how far space exploration has advanced in my lifetime.
_____
Will lunar mining expeditions be the gateway to Mars? That might require more space stations along the way.
_____
Scientists are picking through the pieces to reveal Genesis' secrets.
_____
_____
Will lunar mining expeditions be the gateway to Mars? That might require more space stations along the way.
_____
Scientists are picking through the pieces to reveal Genesis' secrets.
_____
Drive-Bys
"Massachusetts Flip-Flop Syndrome" strikes again. It must be something in the water...
_____
Sweet Jesus singing doo-wop on the corner by the street lamp -- my Christmas list is filling up! New number one on the list is this. A lifetime supply of the stuff. Then there's that Orgasmatron doohicky. And then I want either one of these or a motorized barstool equipped with autopilot and a built-in cup holder. Can't a girl dream?
I'll bet a few of my male buddies would like to put this on their Chrismas lists!
_____
Spawning and singing? Come to think of it, they really do go hand-in-hand.
_____
Why isn't every aging pop star this sensible?
_____
_____
Sweet Jesus singing doo-wop on the corner by the street lamp -- my Christmas list is filling up! New number one on the list is this. A lifetime supply of the stuff. Then there's that Orgasmatron doohicky. And then I want either one of these or a motorized barstool equipped with autopilot and a built-in cup holder. Can't a girl dream?
I'll bet a few of my male buddies would like to put this on their Chrismas lists!
_____
Spawning and singing? Come to think of it, they really do go hand-in-hand.
_____
Why isn't every aging pop star this sensible?
_____
Roadside Diversions
Carnival of the Liberated is up at Dean's World. Now more than ever it's important to know what's in the hearts and on the minds of the average Iraqi.
_____
_____
Bus Fumes
Here's another rat bastard for whom there is no punishment cruel enough.
_____
If this doesn't set your hair on fire, nothing will. I say toss the bitch in jail with a lot of inmate mommies. See how long she lasts.
_____
More "PC" moonbattery here. If you refuse, on this basis of your religious convictions, to do the job you were hired for... and you were aware of your convictions when you were hired for the job in the first place, you should (*ehrm*) take your medicine and expect to get fired. Or perhaps laterally moved. Or demoted. But certainly not paid a salary to stand around and look decorative. Yes, you have a right to exercise your religious convictions for yourself. But you do NOT have the right to shove them down the throats of others. Especially when it might even be life or death hanging in the balance.
_____
Oh great. This'll give you a warm, fuzzy, safe feeling.
_____
_____
If this doesn't set your hair on fire, nothing will. I say toss the bitch in jail with a lot of inmate mommies. See how long she lasts.
_____
More "PC" moonbattery here. If you refuse, on this basis of your religious convictions, to do the job you were hired for... and you were aware of your convictions when you were hired for the job in the first place, you should (*ehrm*) take your medicine and expect to get fired. Or perhaps laterally moved. Or demoted. But certainly not paid a salary to stand around and look decorative. Yes, you have a right to exercise your religious convictions for yourself. But you do NOT have the right to shove them down the throats of others. Especially when it might even be life or death hanging in the balance.
_____
Oh great. This'll give you a warm, fuzzy, safe feeling.
_____
Rubber-Necking
How positively peculiar. I hope it works.
_____
Headline of the Day: "Doctor Discovers the 'Orgasmatron'" Hee hee hee! Every woman I know is going to put one of these little boogers on her Christmas list.
"She said it was difficult to part with the orgasmatron when the study ended." I'll bet it was.
_____
A little something to go with the Doggles I posted about a couple of days ago.
_____
_____
Headline of the Day: "Doctor Discovers the 'Orgasmatron'" Hee hee hee! Every woman I know is going to put one of these little boogers on her Christmas list.
"She said it was difficult to part with the orgasmatron when the study ended." I'll bet it was.
_____
A little something to go with the Doggles I posted about a couple of days ago.
_____
From the Rowdies in the Back of the Bus
He linked me! He really linked me! Gosh. Now I know how Sally Field felt on Oscar night.
_____
Acidman waxes philosophical.
_____
Brazilian Butt Lift??? Sounds like a quirky new figure skating move to me... or maybe a new WWF wresting move? Extreme weightlifting grip?
_____
Bigwig is correct. It is disgusting. Gack.
_____
_____
Acidman waxes philosophical.
_____
Brazilian Butt Lift??? Sounds like a quirky new figure skating move to me... or maybe a new WWF wresting move? Extreme weightlifting grip?
_____
Bigwig is correct. It is disgusting. Gack.
_____
Bus Fumes
Good. It's about time he began to reap a smidgeon of the hatred and bile he sowed. Too bad this kid didn't get the message in time. (A tip of the cap to the Instapundit.)
_____
I agree 100%. Thanks for putting it so well, Tom. When do we stop apologizing for our own morals and convictions? Like they're a bad thing to have??? As long as I have to recognize and respect other people's beliefs, they better damned well be ready to recognize and respect mine.
_____
_____
I agree 100%. Thanks for putting it so well, Tom. When do we stop apologizing for our own morals and convictions? Like they're a bad thing to have??? As long as I have to recognize and respect other people's beliefs, they better damned well be ready to recognize and respect mine.
_____
Wide Open Spaces
The next space race is underway, and it's between Burt Rutan and Richard Branson. This could be another "Clash of the Titans"!
_____
Let's hope for a soft landing for the Huygens probe.
_____
"Come sail away. Come sail away. Come sail away with me." Who knew that old song might actually come to pass?
_____
_____
Let's hope for a soft landing for the Huygens probe.
_____
"Come sail away. Come sail away. Come sail away with me." Who knew that old song might actually come to pass?
_____
Drive-Bys
It's really refreshing when the law gets things right for a change.
_____
Oh, sure. Blame it on women.
_____
It'll be interesting to see how French hospital officials handle this.
_____
Chatham Artillery Punch, hmmm? Sounds like fun stuff! One more reason for Velocigod to set a date for the Spring Blogfest so that I can get my ticket booked!
_____
Worried about Bush appointing Clarence Thomas as Chief Justice of the Supreme Court should Rehnquist have to retire? See what Professor Bainbridge has to say about that. (Clever. Very clever.) Let's hope he's right. According to Ann Althouse, Scalia (God help me for saying this) is, from my strict Constitutionalist leanings, a much better choice.
_____
I loved Pee-Wee's Playhouse, too. Did you ever see the bit he did with the giant granny-panties? My sides hurt for two days afterwards.
_____
_____
Oh, sure. Blame it on women.
_____
It'll be interesting to see how French hospital officials handle this.
_____
Chatham Artillery Punch, hmmm? Sounds like fun stuff! One more reason for Velocigod to set a date for the Spring Blogfest so that I can get my ticket booked!
_____
Worried about Bush appointing Clarence Thomas as Chief Justice of the Supreme Court should Rehnquist have to retire? See what Professor Bainbridge has to say about that. (Clever. Very clever.) Let's hope he's right. According to Ann Althouse, Scalia (God help me for saying this) is, from my strict Constitutionalist leanings, a much better choice.
_____
I loved Pee-Wee's Playhouse, too. Did you ever see the bit he did with the giant granny-panties? My sides hurt for two days afterwards.
_____
PSA
Spoons has a point, you know. The wonderful thing about this country is that you can pick up the phone and call your Representative or Senator and tell'em what you're thinking. Heck! You can even phone the White House.
Just do it.
_____
Just do it.
_____
Drive-Bys
As Kelley would say, "WOOT!" (I needed that. How about you?)
_____
Happy Anniversary, gentlemen. I salute you.
_____
I like this guy's style. What a hoot.
_____
_____
Happy Anniversary, gentlemen. I salute you.
_____
I like this guy's style. What a hoot.
_____
Wide Open Spaces
Mystery power boost for Mars rover? (Insert Twilight Zone theme music here.) That's certainly seizing Opportunity!
_____
And here's a new photo from Cassini. "Alien" traits? That's rich.
_____
The planets are putting on quite a show lately. Are you paying attention?
_____
_____
And here's a new photo from Cassini. "Alien" traits? That's rich.
_____
The planets are putting on quite a show lately. Are you paying attention?
_____
Bus Fumes
What kind of sick f#*k does something senseless like this? This just makes me want to cry. And then hunt down the bastards that did this and give them a dose of their own medicine.
_____
And what in the heck was this all about??? How much do you want to bet that someone's military career is toast?
_____
Forgive me, but I fail to see what the big deal is about this. Somebody's feelings were hurt? Somebody got bruises on their knees? Somebody got his hair ruffled? Somebody gets a bad haircut? Those are court marshallable offenses?
Big damn deal. I mean it, too.
These are people who have been shooting at our military folks, beheading civilians sent there to help them rebuild, and blowing up motor vehicles along with their own people. They do things like this. Come to think of it, the whole lot of them HATE us, and would cheerfully go back to doing a whole lot more of the same if we'd just let'em out of Gitmo.
C'mon, people. Say it loud. Say it proud. Boo-bleeping-hoo for them that they had a little humiliation.
Get over it. It's called WAR. It ain't supposed to be pretty. If we continue to hamstring ourselves over "PC" moonbattery like this, we might as well just kneel down, lay our heads on the chopping block and pray that it's over quickly.
We're way to close to that, as it is.
_____
_____
And what in the heck was this all about??? How much do you want to bet that someone's military career is toast?
_____
Forgive me, but I fail to see what the big deal is about this. Somebody's feelings were hurt? Somebody got bruises on their knees? Somebody got his hair ruffled? Somebody gets a bad haircut? Those are court marshallable offenses?
Big damn deal. I mean it, too.
These are people who have been shooting at our military folks, beheading civilians sent there to help them rebuild, and blowing up motor vehicles along with their own people. They do things like this. Come to think of it, the whole lot of them HATE us, and would cheerfully go back to doing a whole lot more of the same if we'd just let'em out of Gitmo.
C'mon, people. Say it loud. Say it proud. Boo-bleeping-hoo for them that they had a little humiliation.
Get over it. It's called WAR. It ain't supposed to be pretty. If we continue to hamstring ourselves over "PC" moonbattery like this, we might as well just kneel down, lay our heads on the chopping block and pray that it's over quickly.
We're way to close to that, as it is.
_____
Drive-Bys
Jeff has created a new holiday -- one that I've been asking for for quite some time now. So do we get a parade, too? Just give me a second to polish up my kazoo, and I'll be ready to go...
_____
_____
Bus Fumes
"There's been a lack of civility in the way people have discussed this election," says W. Robert Nay, clinical psychologist, associate professor at Georgetown University Medical School and author of "Taking Charge of Anger: How to Resolve Conflict, Sustain Relationships, and Express Yourself without Losing Control."
Now there's the understatement of the century.
_____
Who funds stupid studies like this, anyway?
_____
I knew SNL had jumped the shark, but this is just pathetic. No one on that show has had an original idea in years.
_____
It's true.
_____
That's entertainment? Puh-leaze.
_____
And you wonder why I mistrust the MSM? Puerile behavior like this comes to mind...
_____
Did you ever notice that when someone starts a sentence, "You know I'm not prejudiced, but..." you're about to hear the biggest bunch of bigotted bullpucky that you've heard in quite some time.
_____
This is about the only thing that could have put a big-ass grin on my face today. And it did. (So I'm a lousy human being. S'okay with me today.)
_____
Now there's the understatement of the century.
_____
Who funds stupid studies like this, anyway?
_____
I knew SNL had jumped the shark, but this is just pathetic. No one on that show has had an original idea in years.
_____
It's true.
_____
That's entertainment? Puh-leaze.
_____
And you wonder why I mistrust the MSM? Puerile behavior like this comes to mind...
_____
Did you ever notice that when someone starts a sentence, "You know I'm not prejudiced, but..." you're about to hear the biggest bunch of bigotted bullpucky that you've heard in quite some time.
_____
This is about the only thing that could have put a big-ass grin on my face today. And it did. (So I'm a lousy human being. S'okay with me today.)
_____
Rules of the Road
More of Manolo's rules. Just follow them, okay?
_____
More rules to ponder here.
_____
And Iowahawk has some words for you, too. Pay attention.
_____
_____
More rules to ponder here.
_____
And Iowahawk has some words for you, too. Pay attention.
_____
Drive-Bys
"Bloggers, in particular, are loose cannons when it comes to information that established media seeks to control. Mostly independents with no corporate masters to abide -- and often no traditional journalistic training or standards -- bloggers cannot be expected to play by old media rules."
Heh. Loose cannons with loads of ammo and pinpoint aim is more like it.
_____
For what it's worth, it's a GORGEOUS day today. Sunny, bright blue skies, crisp breeze. Autumn in Chicago. You've gotta love a day like this. (If I hadn't just taken a long vacation, I'd be playing hooky today.)
_____
I haven't thought about this cartoon in years. Now I'll have the Sheriff's voice for an earworm for days. And Muskie the Muskrat. And Vincent Van Gopher. It's all Zonker's fault.
_____
Heh. Loose cannons with loads of ammo and pinpoint aim is more like it.
_____
For what it's worth, it's a GORGEOUS day today. Sunny, bright blue skies, crisp breeze. Autumn in Chicago. You've gotta love a day like this. (If I hadn't just taken a long vacation, I'd be playing hooky today.)
_____
I haven't thought about this cartoon in years. Now I'll have the Sheriff's voice for an earworm for days. And Muskie the Muskrat. And Vincent Van Gopher. It's all Zonker's fault.
_____
Rubber-Necking
Wow! I'd have been willing to pay top dollar to be a fly on the wall for this.
_____
Say WHAT???
_____
_____
Say WHAT???
_____
From the Rowdies in the Back of the Bus
My brother-in-law has an interesting take on flu prevention:
Eat right! Make sure you get your daily dose of fruits and veggies. Take your vitamins and bump up your vitamin C. Get plenty of exercise because exercise helps build your immune system. Walk for at least an hour a day, go for a swim, take the stairs instead of the elevator, etc.
Wash your hands often. If you can't wash them, keep a bottle of antibacterial stuff around. Get lots of fresh air. Open windows whenever possible. Get plenty of rest. Try to eliminate as much stress from your life as you can.
OR....
You can take the doctor's office approach. Think about it. When you go for a shot, what do they do first? Clean your arm with alcohol. Why? Because alcohol kills germs.
SO....
I walk to the liquor store (exercise), I put lime in my Corona (fruit), celery in my Bloody Mary (veggies), drink on the bar patio (fresh air), get drunk, tell jokes, and laugh (eliminate stress), and then pass out (rest). The way I see it, if you keep your alcohol levels up, flu germs can't get you!
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Maxine (Hallmark) on Aging: "Take every birthday with a grain of salt. This works much better if the salt accompanies a large margarita."
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J-Walk had me shooting coffee out my nose at this one. Who knew?
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Eat right! Make sure you get your daily dose of fruits and veggies. Take your vitamins and bump up your vitamin C. Get plenty of exercise because exercise helps build your immune system. Walk for at least an hour a day, go for a swim, take the stairs instead of the elevator, etc.
Wash your hands often. If you can't wash them, keep a bottle of antibacterial stuff around. Get lots of fresh air. Open windows whenever possible. Get plenty of rest. Try to eliminate as much stress from your life as you can.
OR....
You can take the doctor's office approach. Think about it. When you go for a shot, what do they do first? Clean your arm with alcohol. Why? Because alcohol kills germs.
SO....
I walk to the liquor store (exercise), I put lime in my Corona (fruit), celery in my Bloody Mary (veggies), drink on the bar patio (fresh air), get drunk, tell jokes, and laugh (eliminate stress), and then pass out (rest). The way I see it, if you keep your alcohol levels up, flu germs can't get you!
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Maxine (Hallmark) on Aging: "Take every birthday with a grain of salt. This works much better if the salt accompanies a large margarita."
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J-Walk had me shooting coffee out my nose at this one. Who knew?
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The Campaign Trail
Well, ain't that a kick in the head?
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Well said!
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That's it on this subject. Go vote, if you haven't already done so.
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Okay, I lied. What in the heck was Daschle thinking?
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Well said!
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That's it on this subject. Go vote, if you haven't already done so.
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Okay, I lied. What in the heck was Daschle thinking?
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Bus Fumes
I'm not usually a bloodthirsty little booger, but I'm beginning to think maybe we should be handing a little of this right back to the bastards dishing it out. Why do we always have to hold hands and play nice? In the immortal words of the Red Queen, "Off with their heads!"
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Great. This just gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling.
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Okay. This is wrong all the way around. The pet owner (collector, actually) was wrong -- nobody can handle that many animals without help. The animal control officer was wrong -- theft and forgery is theft and forgery. The judge was wrong -- the sentence was too harsh. And the writer is wrong, because he/she never does say what happened to the other 26 animals. Gaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!
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Great. This just gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling.
_____
Okay. This is wrong all the way around. The pet owner (collector, actually) was wrong -- nobody can handle that many animals without help. The animal control officer was wrong -- theft and forgery is theft and forgery. The judge was wrong -- the sentence was too harsh. And the writer is wrong, because he/she never does say what happened to the other 26 animals. Gaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!
_____
From the Rowdies in the Back of the Bus
Are you reading Lila? If not, you should be!
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J-Walk held a caption contest that's pretty doggone funny.
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J-Walk held a caption contest that's pretty doggone funny.
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Chartered Excursions - Bulgaria
Isn't it nice to hear some good news for a change? I really hope this helps their tourism industry a lot!
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Bus Fumes
This is a crying shame. The Terra was a gem of a museum.
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And what exactly happened to the right to freedom of speech? Unless it's a private event, there's no call for this. Shame on both parties! (Can we get this election over with already? I am so sick and tired of crap like this it's not even funny.)
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How stupid is this? No kid should be allowed to use a weapon unsupervised. Not even a "safe" one. This is not a problem with the weapons. It's a problem of lack of supervision and education... and common sense.
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The nanny state rears its ugly head in Brazil. Don't people have anything better to do than this?
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It's about time, don't you think?
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When is this cesspool of self-obsessed megalomaniacal sociopaths going to be disbanded? They are useless. Totally useless. (Except, of course, to themselves.)
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And what exactly happened to the right to freedom of speech? Unless it's a private event, there's no call for this. Shame on both parties! (Can we get this election over with already? I am so sick and tired of crap like this it's not even funny.)
_____
How stupid is this? No kid should be allowed to use a weapon unsupervised. Not even a "safe" one. This is not a problem with the weapons. It's a problem of lack of supervision and education... and common sense.
_____
The nanny state rears its ugly head in Brazil. Don't people have anything better to do than this?
_____
It's about time, don't you think?
_____
When is this cesspool of self-obsessed megalomaniacal sociopaths going to be disbanded? They are useless. Totally useless. (Except, of course, to themselves.)
_____
Rubber-Necking
Speaking of train wrecks, this guy appears to be following in her footsteps. What's the deal with these talented people who seem to lack both moral compasses and any sort of impulse control?
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I can't believe wingnut conspiracy theorists are still debating this. Sheesh.
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I can't believe wingnut conspiracy theorists are still debating this. Sheesh.
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Wide Open Spaces
Grrrrrrrrrrh! Why does that make me cranky? This is why. Seems everybody can get it right but NASA.
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Cassini, lookout below!
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For all you sky watchers, get out your telescopes Thursday and Friday nights.
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The "Vomit Comet" makes its final flight.
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Cassini, lookout below!
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For all you sky watchers, get out your telescopes Thursday and Friday nights.
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The "Vomit Comet" makes its final flight.
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The Campaign Trail
Elizabeth sends some...
Breaking News
BUSH ADMITS LIP-SYNCHING TO TAPE OF CHENEY
Acid Reflux Blamed
President George W. Bush revealed today that he suffers from a sore throat brought on by acid reflux disease and that for the past four years he has extensively lip-synched to vocal tracks furnished by Vice President Dick Cheney.
Mr. Bush was forced to make the admission after an embarrassing incident at a campaign rally in Ohio, during which Mr. Cheney's disembodied voice came booming through the public address system while Mr. Bush was busy kissing a baby.
After a stunned silence fell over the audience, Mr. Bush revealed his medical condition and said that he frequently had Mr. Cheney's voice piped in through a bulge in the back of his jacket.
The president added that although acid reflux disease was a serious illness, he was not in favor of using stem cell research to find a cure for it.
After the rally, Bush strategist Karl Rove downplayed the use of lip-synching as "something all politicians do," adding, "Ninety percent of the time, John Kerry's lip-synching to Teresa."
But campaigning in Florida, Mr. Kerry vigorously denied lip-synching to his wife's voice, telling Mr. Rove to "stick it where the moon don't shine" in English, Spanish, French, Italian, and Portuguese.
In other campaign news, President Bush said that the U.S. was doing everything in its power to locate 380 tons of missing explosives in Iraq, adding, "We are checking eBay every day."
Elsewhere, Barb and Jenna Bush hit the campaign trail today to make an impassioned pitch for their pet issue, the importation of cheap beer from Canada.
_____
Ah! The logic of Beldar strikes the nail directly on the head. (A tip of the cap to the Instapundit. Welcome back, Professor!) In my humble opinion, Jack Ryan -- warts and all -- would have been a much better candidate than Alan Keyes.
_____
Breaking News
BUSH ADMITS LIP-SYNCHING TO TAPE OF CHENEY
Acid Reflux Blamed
President George W. Bush revealed today that he suffers from a sore throat brought on by acid reflux disease and that for the past four years he has extensively lip-synched to vocal tracks furnished by Vice President Dick Cheney.
Mr. Bush was forced to make the admission after an embarrassing incident at a campaign rally in Ohio, during which Mr. Cheney's disembodied voice came booming through the public address system while Mr. Bush was busy kissing a baby.
After a stunned silence fell over the audience, Mr. Bush revealed his medical condition and said that he frequently had Mr. Cheney's voice piped in through a bulge in the back of his jacket.
The president added that although acid reflux disease was a serious illness, he was not in favor of using stem cell research to find a cure for it.
After the rally, Bush strategist Karl Rove downplayed the use of lip-synching as "something all politicians do," adding, "Ninety percent of the time, John Kerry's lip-synching to Teresa."
But campaigning in Florida, Mr. Kerry vigorously denied lip-synching to his wife's voice, telling Mr. Rove to "stick it where the moon don't shine" in English, Spanish, French, Italian, and Portuguese.
In other campaign news, President Bush said that the U.S. was doing everything in its power to locate 380 tons of missing explosives in Iraq, adding, "We are checking eBay every day."
Elsewhere, Barb and Jenna Bush hit the campaign trail today to make an impassioned pitch for their pet issue, the importation of cheap beer from Canada.
_____
Ah! The logic of Beldar strikes the nail directly on the head. (A tip of the cap to the Instapundit. Welcome back, Professor!) In my humble opinion, Jack Ryan -- warts and all -- would have been a much better candidate than Alan Keyes.
_____
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