Leslie's Omnibus


My BlogDaddy and I rarely think exactly alike, but we know each other well.

I saw this yesterday, and just had to forward it on to his geekiness. (Actually, I should have sent him this, this and this, too.)

Today, he returned the favor by sending me this. To which I say, that's why I always specify that I want autopilot (and a cup holder) when I get one of my own. (And I still want one.)

This is just totally cool. Read and listen carefully:


I'm off to Florida four a couple of days to do a reprise of the memorial service for the Princess Mom.

I'm guessing it'll be my own last trip down there, as Florida is just not my thing.

But it'll be nice to see her friends one last time.

From the Rowdies in the Back of the Bus

An email from my dear (and outrageous) friend Mr. Bill got me to thinking that I haven't posted the jokes some of you keep sending me in a very long time.

Here's Mr. Bill's contribution:
A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students.

'Human beings are the only animals that stutter,' she says.

A little girl raises her hand. 'I had a kitty-cat who stuttered.'

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

'Well', she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!'

'That must've been scary,' said the teacher.

'It sure was,' said the little girl.

'My kitty raised her back, went Fffff, Fffff, Fffff' and.................................. before she could say 'Fuck!', the Rottweiler ate her!'

The teacher had to leave the room.
From the Sweetheart of Shell Knob, MO:
These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They stretch after awhile."

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

7. "Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

8. "Warning! You want a warning? OK, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

11. "Yeah, we have a quota Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

12. "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

13. "How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."


16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

And since we're featuring such sophisticated humor:
Please follow the instructions.

.....Just because I know you need to smile.

1st look and see the Whale under the water.

Keep your cursor OUT of the picture until you see the Whale.

Then move your mouse cursor onto the picture, but stand back, you might get wet (it's like it's 3D).

Click on the picture when it loads completely and be sure that your sound is on

CLICK ON: Worlds Most Dangerous Creature

Also, this little gem of a video:



Just so Pammy doesn't feel like the only Mrs. Noah these days, this was what it looked like two blocks from my house just a few days ago. (And that sinkhole was 15 feet deep!)

P.S. -- Go here for more Chinatown pix.

Here be wisdom (and a great big giggle), indeed.

Let's hope this guest poster over at Unemploymentality becomes a regular writer, because I like the way she thinks:
So what if I’m making far less per hour than I’ve made at any point in the last nine years. So what if I have to put on a polyester apron and plastic gloves and travel back in time to my first job. So what. THE BILLS ARE GOING TO GET PAID! This is not the last stop in my career. This is just taking care of business, doing what needs to be done. I am not better than this job. I am not better than any job. This is not something to be embarrassed about. I will wear this nametag with pride. I will wear this baseball cap so that hair doesn’t get in the food. I will be on time. I will not complain. I will work my way up if I have to stay. I will get the hell out if something better comes along. Hello, underemployment....

I can’t allow myself to be bitter because I owe it to the other people that would have gladly worked this job, or who may not get to go to college like I did, not to be an ingrate, to be glad for what has landed on my plate, even if I didn’t order it. However, I also owe it to them and to myself not to stay here forever.
I tip my hat to her.

Saw this article on boys and Axe... and immediately thought of Bou. Heh.

Quote of the Day:
Instead, the British and American leaders remain stuck in the fantasy that you can spend your way out of debt. Er, guys: you've already tried that, and look where it led. If spraying cash at the problem failed, firehosing even more cash at it won't work either. Chancellor Merkel: the taxpayers of the world are relying on you.
Too right. (And I wonder if he's single. There's a man I could respect.)

Also, Totus is on a roll today:
When the French economics minister pushed back on Timmy's demands that Germany increase stimulus spending, TATUS pulled his wild card out. "Okay, the U.S. would like to place on the G-20 agenda a session addressing the many tax havens that enable American citizens to hide their wealth off shore and not pay taxes."

The G-20 officials agreed. So now Big Guy has to sit through a session next week targeting the tax havens of Switzerland, the Cayman Islands, his Administration and Rep. Charles Rangel.

Being the seafood loving Beantown Betty that I am, this just slayed me:

funny pictures of dogs with captions
see more dog and puppy pictures

Just so the ladies of Joisey know, their girlie bits are still their own to control. Thank Jeebus.

Ear Worm of the Day:

This has been bouncing around my cranium all afternoon.

Eye-Popper of the Day? My horoscope. Behold:
JULY 23-AUG. 22
You could receive a surprising sexual proposal from someone as Venus turns up the heat. Maybe a casual friend wants things to be less casual. Perhaps a neighbor is developing a crush on you. Or maybe a coworker has been nursing a mad passion for you.


Your Name's Power is Curiousity

Your name's power is that it helps you be curious.

Your name conveys that you are an energetic traveler of life. [Too freaking right!]

People who meet you can't help but think you are thriving.

You try to live your life with mercy and enthusiasm.

... and...

You Are Pause

Compared to most people, you are reflective and thoughtful.

You're always willing to take a break and digest everything that's happened.

You are patient with life. You are happy to sit back and let things unfold.

You're not in a hurry. You're content to take things at someone else's pace.

Now that's just freaky.

Chartered Excursion - Chinatown

Even if you'ye never met them in person before, there are some bloggers you just know you're going to hit it off with. For me, one of those is Pammy.

Today, I got to play tour guide to her, da Zigster, and a couple of their good friends (who will have to self-identify in the comments, as I don't "out" non-bloggers (family excepted, and even they have pseudonyms)), destination Chinatown.

Since none of the gang had tried Dim Sum (think Chinese tapas on wheels) before, I hauled them out to Mandarin Kitchen for a new dining adventure. Unlike dinner dining, Dim Sum brunch involves wheeled cart after wheeled cart of small plates. If something looks good, you order as many small plates of it as you think your stomach can hold. The beauty of Dim Sum is that you can try a WIDE variety of different foods without ending up with a thousand "to go" boxes.

So what was on our table? Shrimp encased in steamed rice noodle pasta, fried shrimp (heads on!), broccolini in fish sauce, barbequed pork, duck in oyster sauce, lobster fried in wonton wrappers, curry noodles, more barbequed pork, sweet fritters stuffed with pork and mushrooms, green pepper shrimp, spiced beef steamed in noodle wrapper and small custard tarts, all washed down with cup after miniature cup of green tea. [Egg drop soup, too. Forgot to mention that.]

Replete, we hit the shops. Before my batteries died...

Dried fish, mushrooms and fruit...

... along with loads of exotic loose teas sold in bulk.

Lots of kitschy Chinatown goodness. (Ask Pammy about her new waving Maneki Neko.) We also hit a couple of tea shops and Pammy gave bubble tea a whirl.

After we walked off a good bit of that brunch, I introduced the gang to the wonders of Chinese bakeries. We picked a typical example -- linoleum floors, white hi-gloss enamel paint on the walls, some tacky paintings, a small shrine complete with Kuan Yin figurine and joss sticks, formica-topped tables, duct-taped chairs and a wonderful, wonderful case full of sweet and savory delights. [And Chinese soap operas. Very funny.]

The rest of the gang opted for cheesecake -- strawberry, banana and mango. I got sweet cakes filled with red bean paste (these taste a quite a bit like Fig Newtons) and green bean paste (slightly sweeter, color similar to Suntanas). Yummy! Before we left, we loaded up on goodies like Char Siu Bao, buns filled with ham and egg, ham and cheese, Chinese sausage and chicken, as well as a ton of other sweet treats. (The buns freeze well, so I'll be eating them for breakfast for the next week or two.) Big boxes of goodies for around ten bucks each. Bargain!

I dropped the gang back at their car with promises that I'll make a trip down south, and they'll visit the Windy City again very soon.
All in all, a very nice visit.

One interesting note -- The weather here got very cold with a good covering of heavy wet snow just about the time the gang rolled into town. We tromped through sloppy glop and gray skies all the way through Chinatown. As I stood on the Red Line platform and watched them pull out onto Cermak to head for home, the sky started clearing and the sun came out. Hmmm....
I am grateful beyond words for the Pammylanche that have brought many new readers here. Stick around. Read a little bit more. Really -- I promise to entertain you.


It's all Jay's fault:

Your Deadly Sins

Gluttony: 80%

Sloth: 80%

Lust: 40%

Wrath: 40%

Envy: 20%

Greed: 20%

Pride: 20%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 43%

You'll die choking on a cookie in bed. [Not true. It'll be on Salt & Vinegar potato chips, mostly likely.]

... and...

You Are The Brain

You're the type of person who's always on, always churning.

You are alert and quick to react. You like to stay busy.

You are responsible but also demanding. You take up a lot of energy.

You are someone of deep mystery. There's a lot below the surface that's hard to figure out.


Have a small place, but expensive taste? Room & Board is having a little contest. Check it out here.

This is not the My Little Pony you grew up with.

This is a very, very bad idea. Betcha Chicken Little Sr. won't be inviting any of them for dinner at the White House any time soon, either.

Even if you're just a little curvier than average, this rings true. Painfully true.

JihadGene says, "It's Friday! Let's Dance!"

Anybody up for a little Rhumba-Boogie?


Giggle of the Day:

Big Guy and the family and I are off to Camp David for the weekend. This should be a lot of fun. I hear that I get my own cabin. I need the rest given the day I had today. People have been asking me about Earth Hour, which sounds like something Al Gore might've come up with during his recovery from the chai enema mishap at Burning Man last year.

Heaven help me , I've actually volunteered for my company's "green office initiative." Mostly to combat nonsense like "Earth Hour," for which I had to send the office-wide memo out.

Look, I believe we've become incredibly wasteful in our packaging and in the amount of garbage we throw away. But that's just because we're stupidly wasteful, not because, as Old Crankypants would say, "We're all gonna die!"

Case in point (and the reason I got involved) -- my firm's team sent out an email, two days after we'd laid off admin staff, two out of three who were friends of mine, offering up coffee mugs to anyone who would swear off styrofoam cups.

Call me crazy, but I found it repugnant that my company could find the money to buy politically correct coffee mugs, but couldn't find a way to keep people who I loved in paychecks.

So I suggested that we raise a little consciousness and ask people to bring mugs from home. Add some incentive by turning it into a contest and having categories like the mug from farthest away (Paris and Pisa for me), silliest mug, most meaningful mug (the lovely bone china mug painted with lovely cats gifted me by the Princess Mug (er... Mom)), the oldest mug, etc. Putting photos of peoples' mugs (faces) with their winning mugs in our office newsletter.

I also suggested we promote groups like Cell Phones for Soldiers as a way to recycle unwanted technology.

I'm gaining traction. Even if I am the least likely person on earth to join the "green" movement.

And one more, because it's a classic:

This isn't Big O's war. It's America's war. And it's also Gen. David Petraeus's war. He clearly knows what the hell he is doing. As the Big O has said several times in the past few days, "That man is going to save my heiney." And boy do we all know it and appreciate it.

True dat.

They have a video???
You won’t be like a man. You’ll just pee like one.

Alrighty then.

I have, apparently, in trying to clean up my blogroll, borked my template.



How cool is this?

Looks positively dreamy -- childlike and wonderful.

Nice to see the Senate is focusing on the important issues of the day. Good going, ladies and gents.

Also nice to see Hillary going to bat for us.

Americans are guilty of causing every bad thing in the known world, I guess.

I've heard of scuttlebutt, but not Subtle Butt before. (Sounds like a useful thing to have handy at blogmeets, no?)

Holy moly! Seems Chicken Little actually appointed one fiscal conservative in the whole damn bunch of appointees. Way to go, Janet!

In Illinois, on the other hand, soon we're going to find ourselves just handing over our wallets to the state every payday. I'm surprised they haven't figured out how to tax us for breathing yet. (Oh, crap! Don't tell the Governor I even mentioned that thought. He'll find a way to do it, I'm sure.)

Hey, Jimbo! Vodka gummi bears? Nom, nom, nom!

Read the map. Another good reason for me to head to Texas when I'm ready to retire.

Giggle of the Day:

funny pictures of cats with captions
see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Eye Popper of the Day

How could anyone top that?

The Chicago meter mess continues.


Grins and giggles:

I find at least one thing on FMLife.com to giggle about every day. Like this.. and this... and this... not to mention this, for example. Makes me feel quite normal and lucky most days.

More grins and giggles:

If you haven't seen or heard the Bud Lite "Real Men of Genius" ads, you're missing pure hilarity.

Two fine examples:

... and...

(Buddies Walt and Mr. Bill just about killed themselves laughing over that last one last night.)

Find them and a whole lot more here.

If I'd heard this on April 1st I'd have believed it was a joke. But it's not. That's one Chicago tradition I absolutely hate seeing die.

Oooooo! Can't wait to take TMBCITW and TMPAE to this. Maurice Sendak was a childhood favorite of mine, and it's nice to see Spike Jones is being so faithful to the original.

Hmmm... seems Chicken Little Sr. is getting a whole lot less love from his Hollywood supporters these days:
'COOL IT, MR. PRESIDENT': That's the word a number of major Hollywood supporters of President Obama have been communicating to White House insiders. The feeling among the heavily Democratic Tinseltown power brokers is the prez should ''stop campaigning'' and doing things like Jay Leno's show and ''60 Minutes,'' and ''hunker down and act more presidential,'' said a close associate of both Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks Monday.
Glad to see they're finally catching on.

Now if he'd only take the hint. Little hope of that, it seems.

If you're coming to Chicago soon, be prepared for sticker shock in parking garages, but especially at the parking meter. And bring plenty of quarters.

I got a catalog from this funky company this weekend. Somehow it brought to mind Maeve, LL and Pammy. Dunno why...

Speaking of Pammy, she's coming to Chicago this weekend, and it looks like I'll finally get to meet her and the Zigster. Huzzah!

Another bloggette that's been on my "must meet" list has been tapping at my email trying to arrange a get-together soon, as well. Can't wait.

Some things you've just gotta swipe, and this is one of them:

Totus rules, Potus drools.

Thanks, Joanie!

P.S. -- Can we bring this guy to the U.S. and send him straight to Washington?

Huzzah, sir!

One more thing. I was going through one of the Princess Mom's three recipe boxes this past weekend, and I came across the only recipe that was ever a complete FAIL in the history of family Omnibus.

Toss it? No freaking way. In typical Princess Mom buggerdly stubborn style, it was tucked between two frequently used favorites.

Now, your family might really, really like this. I'm a mustard on ham kinda gal. Brown sugar and pineapple -- yetch.

But here you go (exactly as she wrote it out) -- and it'll either be a huge hit or an epic fail:

Pineapple Ham Loaf

3-1/2 cups ground cooked ham
1/2 lb. veal shoulder, ground
1/2 lb. beef, ground
2 c. day-old bread crumbs
1/4 tsp. poultry seasoning
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
1 egg, slightly beaten
1/4 c. catsup
2 celery stalks, snipped fine [snipped fine? minced! minced!]
3/4 c. milk
1 med. onion
2 tbsps. snipped parsley
1/2 c. brown sugar
4 pineapple slices

Start heating oven to 350 degrees F. Place ham, veal & beef in a bowl. Add bread crumbs to meat, along with poultry seasoning, salt, pepper, beaten egg, catsup, celery and milk. mince onion, letting pieces fall into meat; add parsley. With 2 tined forks, lightly mix meat and other ingredients in bowl.

In bottom of 9" X 9" baking dish, sprinkle brown sugar, arrange pineapple slices on top. With spoon & spatula, carefully press some of meat around pineapple, then pat rest on top. Bake loaf 1 hr.

When loaf has finished baking, carefully pour off all drippings. To unmold loaf, place board or platter on top of baking dish. With aid of 2 potholders hold platter tightly against dish & quickly turn upside down so loaf rests, pineapple side up, on platter.

[Bon apetit, y'all.]

Given the peculiarities of the directions, part of me thinks she made this up to enter in a recipe contest, and that having the entire family sob through dinner as we gagged this down just stiffened her spine and made her determined that one day we'd see the light and appreciate her efforts. Heh.

(And those stubborn genes run in the family. I won't tell you what size mine are, but they are boot cut.)

And, yes, Keesie, I have "orginised lots of parties and drunken scenes over all 57 states." Why else do you think people keep inviting me back to blogmeets? *Giggle*

The End of the Line

For those that say you can't make friends on the Internet, I say fie on you.

Susan Palwick has become a very dear friend through her poignant struggles with her father's failing health and very real wrestles with faith in herself along the way.

Coping with the imminent death of a parent, especially the first one, and especially when they accept it far more peacefully than you do, is a terrible thing.

Fathers, especially, are supposed to be the strong, solid foundation that never buckles, never lets us down. Unfortunately, a life has a course to be run, bodies fail, and the next life beckons.

For some of us who strive to be there right up until the end, our parents chose to depart in the minutes and seconds when we slip out of the room for just one breath of fresh air before heading back to our vigils.

My heart and prayers go out to Susan, who misses her dad Alan terribly, and is beating herself up, thinking she could have done more.

There's not one among us who've been on that journey who haven't done the same thing.

Here's what I believe -- If there is room in Heaven for Old Crankypants (and I believe there is), then there is room for Alan, who didn't believe in God, but who acted in kindness and love throughout his life. We may give up on or not believe in God, but God never gives up on us or stops believing in us. We'll be judged by our hearts and our deeds, and that's enough for me.

Susan, I wish I could wrap my arms around you and take your hurt away. Only time and faith will do that. In the meantime, let me remind you of this:

Peace to you, my friend.


Don't tell a soul, but Nick Digilio has actually become one of my guiltiest of guilty pleasures. Why? Well, it's stuff like Nick Digilio Uncut - 3/14/09 - 18.

Hang in there through the setup and discussion of Chicago's proposed mandatory spay/neuter ordinance. Bonnie will soon be on the line, and one of the funniest conversations ever ensues.

'Bout fell of the couch howling, I did.

P.S. -- Bob Barker is a nosey buttinsky who should stay the hell out of Chicago's business.

P.P.S. -- I'll never again see the written word "thunk" or hear that sound without flashing back to this clip. And giggling madly.

One of those funny/sad/hilarious/morbid kind of blogs. I like it.

Today, I came back to my appartment to find that I couldn't watch certain channels on my tv. When I called the tv company I found out my parents had put a 'parental block' on all my favorite channels. Im 22 and rent an appartment with my friends. FML

Sooner or later everyone has an FML story.

Velociman -- Another guy who recognizes pure comic gold when he sees it:
My boss's face was a stone mask of solemnity, lips pursed in concentration and fingers interlaced across his belly. But his eyes were absolutely swimming in tears. His mirth ducts were in full flower.

He saw that I saw, told me the nature of the payroll issue, and asked if I would be so kind as to resolve it. I looked at the woman and gave her a dismissive wave of my hand, said gesture full of both condescension and noblesse oblige, as if to say the issue had already been handled. It was an unfortunately imperious gesture, having that air of dismissal, but the plain truth is I was terrified of opening my mouth. I too had managed thus far to present a reserved and judicious appearance to this nattering woman, but I fully understood the thin tightope I was precariously perched upon. I had three sharp barks and a rolling guffaw attempting to explode from my throat.
Bet you can picture every detail.

Geeze! I thought Chicago politicians were pushy about getting all up in your business, but Joisey pols apparently put them to shame.

Lemme ask you, ladies -- would you vote for a politician who could decide if and how you could have your lady bits waxed?

Which leads me to this conclusion:

funny pictures of cats with captions
see more Lolcats and funny pictures

If this made me giggle (and it did), this had me guffawing all over the floor:

Finally, a blog that knows what it's talking about...

A couple of Blogthings:

Your Heart Takes Love Lightly

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.

... and...

You Are Blooming Flowers

You are an optimistic person by nature. In even the darkest times, you are hopeful about the future.

You feel truly blessed in life and can sometimes be overwhelmed with emotions.

You have an artist's eye. You are always looking for beauty in the mundane.

You have a good sense of aesthetics, especially when it comes to shapes and color.


JihadGene is MIA, but we can still celebrate. "It's Friday! Let's Dance!":


Oh, Dear God. Chicken Little Sr. put Junior in charge. Junior, who weeks after Sr. finally quit screeching that the sky is falling starting parroting dear ol' Sr.'s "sky is falling" line.

We're all in trouble now. It's deja "boo" all over again.

Oh. And Sr.'s "irritated" because someone might be asking questions he doesn't want to deal with.

Get used to it, Bucko. Your constituency is beyond irritated and well into irate. And the questions are going to get harder to answer and louder if you try to ignore them.


Giggle of the Day:

funny pictures of cats with captions
see more Lolcats and funny pictures

A couple of Blogthings:

You Are Chili Peppers

You are smokin' hot, and you can't help heat up everyone else around you.

It's not unusual for you to make people flushed and excited. You flaunt your sexuality.

You awaken primal urges that people didn't know they had. You bring out the inner wild animal.

When it comes to seduction, you just go for it. You have no fear.

... and...

You Are Cowboy Boots

You are incredibly down to earth and happy with yourself. You don't pretend to be someone else.

You also tend to be very practical. You don't really have a lot of room for fluff in your life.

You are a very honest and direct person. You will give anyone a straight answer, even if it's a bit uncomfortable.

While you're quite sensible, you always like a little bit of flash in your life. You don't overdo it, but you do like turning heads.


Ear Worm of the Day:


Chartered Excursions - County Kerry, Ireland

I can't believe I finally pushed the button, but my Ireland trip is on!

April 18-27 -- beautiful countryside, soaking up the culture, pub grub, pub quaffs, traditional music and the company of a very dear friend -- what could be better?

On the agenda?

A day/night in Killarney, with a trip to Muckross House and gardens.

Several days in Dingle.

A couple of days in Tralee.

A quick buzz through Dublin.

Still working out the ground travel and B&Bs, but the trip is on.

I'm getting excited!

P.S. -- If you want to go, too, or if you know of any Irish bloggers where I'm going, please email. The more, the merrier.


Giggles of the Day, courtesy of Eric Zorn.

What happens when you make the words match the action and scenery in a music video?

... and...

Bet you can't make it through both with a straight face.

Ah, Chicken Little Sr.! It appears he has as little concern for our pilots as he does for our military, God bless him.

And look! He's taking on immigration reform next. Given his performance to date, I assume he's just going to hand the keys to the country to anyone who cares to grab a set, with special emphasis on carpeting our southern border with welcome mats from one end to the other.

Is it any wonder he's finding the true definition of "backfire"?

funny pictures of cats with captions
see more Lolcats and funny pictures

And that's my final answer.

I take that back. Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaha!!! And that's my final answer.


Giggle of the Day:

funny pictures of cats with captions
see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Chicken Little Jr. takes up where Chicken Little Sr. left off. These guys really are determined to made it a depression, not a recession. Sheesh.

Speaking of Chicken Little Sr., I'd like to see him deliver this news to the troops personally:
The leader of the nation's largest veterans organization says he is "deeply disappointed and concerned" after a meeting with President Obama today to discuss a proposal to force private insurance companies to pay for the treatment of military veterans who have suffered service-connected disabilities and injuries. The Obama administration recently revealed a plan to require private insurance carriers to reimburse the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) in such cases.
He doesn't have the guts.

And he's too busy taking his message to the Jay Leno crowd.

If this pisses you off as much as it does me, I suggest you lift heavily from this letter and write your Senators and Representatives today.

Ear Worm of the Day, Irish Style:



Once again, the Whoopster makes me love her. (And bully for Meghan McCain!)

And, by the way, Laura Ingraham can kiss my rather wide Conservative ass, too. (And if I finally moved from Moderate to Conservative, it's because I'm tired of watching Nero fiddle while Rome burns.)

Joanie composes a lullaby we should all be singing.

Got Kindle2? Then you should know this. (Yes. I'm tempted now.)

Blogthings, because Jay Solo made me do it:

Your Brain is Profound

Your mind is a firestorm - full of intensity and drama.

Your thoughts may seem scattered to you most of the time...

But they often seem strong and passionate to those around you.

You are a natural influencer. The thoughts you share are very powerful and persuading.


You Speak New England Slang

New England Slang: 100%

Prison Slang: 75%

Victorian Slang: 75%

Aussie Slang: 50%

Canadian Slang: 50%

Southern Slang: 25%

(The Princess Mom would be so proud!)

... and...

You Communicate Honestly

You don't mince words. You are to the point and all about the facts.

However, you are charming enough to tell people the truth yet still not offend them.

It's likely that you have a hilarious, no holds barred sense of humor. And you sure tell an entertaining story!

You're also quite open. People can ask you anything, and you don't shy away from controversial conversation topics.


In anticipation of St. Pat's tomorrow:


Quick Stop

funny pictures of cats with captions
see more Lolcats and funny pictures


A black cat yowling that the sky is falling. Funny, it reminds me of someone, but I'm damned if I can remember who...


I'm still in a half cranky/half apathetic mood. Feh. But I do have a couple of thoughts...

For my gal pals who don't think they can afford BlogHer, go here, and sign up for their contest. You can't win if you don't enter.

Nice to have it confirmed:
Study ranks Illinois among worst for personal freedom.
Really, it's Chicago that makes it worse. Just ask Joe Moore, who now is pushing for a mandatory spay/neuter law for dogs and cats over six months of age in Chicago. This is the same guy who brought us the short-lived foie gras ban and the whole trans fat kerfuffle.

Our police force is understaffed and underpaid. The city is running out of money, and our streets are one pot-holed mess due to the crappy weather we've had this winter.

Good to see ol' Joe's got his priorities in order when it comes to taking care of Chicago.

I bought this for my Great Niece and it was a HUGE hit. Sinfully soft, cuddly and washable -- the perfect toy for a little girl.

Jay inspires a few Blogthings:

You Are the Communicator

You are a collector and facilitator of knowledge. You love storytelling and teaching.

You light up when you're around other people, and you especially light up in front of a crowd.

You are a charismatic person who's genuinely a joy to be with. You remind others to have fun.

You love life, and you're wake up grateful for every new day. This attitude makes the people around you love life as well.

... and...

You Are the Third Eye Chakra

You are insightful and spiritual. You trust your intuition.

You are deeply philosophical. You spend a lot of time thinking and theorizing.

You are wise beyond your years. People turn to you for direction and hope.

You are a clear thinker. You often know what you want to do and how you're going to do it.


52 days, 52 mistakes. The good news just keeps on rolling in.

And if your panties aren't already in a bunch, this ought to do it:
So, You THINK The FDIC Has Your Deposit Insured

Whoopsy! Turns out those bozos in Congress let banks get away without paying into the insurance fund.
Great. Just freaking great.
President Obama and Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner received failing grades for their efforts to revive the economy from participants in the latest Wall Street Journal forecasting survey.
No? Really???

JihadGene reminds us, "It's Friday! Let's Dance!"

I feel a little jig coming on...


Giggle of the Day, El Capitan-style:

cute pictures of puppies with captions
see more dog and puppy pictures

March Malaise

It rains one day, and it snows like a mother the next.

The time change tosses my sleep cycle out the window.

We have a president, who I really wanted to vote for but couldn't, who now shrieks, "The sky is falling!" about the economy, but ignores that the economy now affects him personally and brings his wife and children back to Chicago, two weeks after he takes over the White House, at great expense to tax payers like you and me, because "they miss Chicago."

It must be nice.

I wouldn't know, because I don't have Air Force One at my personal disposal.

Crazy people shoot their families and bystanders, and that same president wants to take our ability to protect ourselves and our own families away from us.

Co-workers are laid off.

The Divine Miss Marilyn isn't there to snuggle under the covers with me any more.

That same Chicken Little president pisses off not only our best allies -- the Brits, because he's got a personal agenda -- but also the Israelis.

He's sent agents back to the Taliban. And now we're supposed to send soldiers, some of whome are friends of mine, back to Afghanistan to clean up the mess he just made worse.

Does he really think radical muslims will forgive us, much less embrace our culture?

Apparently, he does.

How frightening is it that he has turned his self-righteous back on our known good, faithful allies for what are apparently personal reasons?

He's overwhelmed?

Of course he is. He has absolutely no experience with running anything, let alone a country, successfully.

But a strong person doesn't run home when he is overwhelmed. He doesn't throw a party or two and hope that the bad crap goes away: he goes to work, knuckles down and figures out what must be done, clean or dirty, and gets it taken care of. He holds his good allies close.

So far, I see a road show and a teleprompter. Unfulfilled promises, and bad judgment.

A strong person also doesn't believe that throwing pile after craptacularly large piles of money at problems large and small solve them -- it doesn't.

Sometimes you just have to suck it up and deal with it. You encourage Americans to remember that their parents did just that.

Lest any of you take offense at that notion, I have had to and done just that in the past, and will do it again in the future. That's how I was raised. That's how I roll.

I've personally had to choose between peanut butter sandwiches and macaroni and cheese. I've lost endless nights of sleep over paying my rent. And I was married to a well-meaning guy who had no idea what it meant to earn a paycheck with no Uncle Sam for a safety net.

Full disclosure here -- I've lost my own home. The details don't matter. What does matter is that it didn't define me as a person, and it didn't kill me.

I learned to pull my socks up and deal.

I'm tired of whiny people.

I want the real America back.

People who'll pull their own damned socks up and deal with it.

I'll be back, but right now I think I need a break.

Road Conditions

Yes, it's a bit wet around here.

Mood: grumpy.


Sorry to be out of touch for a few days. A wake for the 89-year-old mother of a good friend was held in Outer Mongolia last Thursday evening, and attending involved two trains (and an extra-large coffee on the second one to make sure I didn't end up in northern Siberia by missing my own stop... which, if you're on the last train, means that the only hotel in town is more than a mile from the train station and there's nowhere else to stay*), rather than at the Omnibus Depot.

Friday I couldn't keep my eyes opened or my brain focused. Too freaking tired, both physically and emotionally. And then we had a couple of layoffs in my office. Really a small number, but a real kick in the morale.

This weekend the skies opened up and dumped all the precipitation they've been missing in both Texas and California directly upon the Depot d'Omnibus. (Or at least that's the way it felt.) Uck. I holed up on the couch and chewed through a couple three good thick novels.

Anyhoo... back to blogging.

Windypundit gave me the giggles: Thunderwear. (My brother already has a hamper full of thunderpants, and it's not because he's carrying a loaded weapon -- he is the loaded weapon, especially after a fine Mexican dinner.)

Via William Jacobson, a new artist whose album is high on my gotta have list: Kathleen Stewart sings "It Ain't Your Money to Spend." Priceless (and a toe-tapper, to boot).

What makes me smile? Bourbon. Yummy, yummy bourbon.

The media is just now getting around to asking this question??? If President Chicken Little would quit squawking that the sky is falling and call it what it was -- a recession instead of a depression -- the public wouldn't have panicked nearly so much, and the markets would be much more stable.

P.S. -- Grade Chicken Little yourself here. Interesting numbers so far. (And for my more liberal friends, feel free to post this on your own blogs and invite voters, too. I'm curious to see true numbers.)

So Chicken Little is overwhelmed? It might help if he'd stick around the Oval Office and actually learn something, instead of dragging his telecrapper out on the road every other day. Gotta get those sound bites in, though. That's the important thing.

My back teeth ached and my arteries clogged. But it all sounds so good.

Giggles of the Day, Reader's Edition:

funny pictures of cats with captions
see more Lolcats and funny pictures

funny pictures of cats with captions
see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Ubiquitous Blogthings:

You Can Be Deeply Passionate Sometimes

You are a loner, and you're fine with that. You find the most fulfillment in solitude. And you never feel more lonely than when you're in a crowd.

You have cold feet when it comes to love. You have a lot of uncertainty until you convince yourself to dive right in.

You are deeply passionate about several things in your life. You're not passionate about much... and the few passions you have are truly obsessions.

Your sense of humor is very physical. Your facial expressions or spot on imitations of people are hilarious.

... and...

Your Lucky Love Color Says You're Open

When someone gets to know you, the first thing they notice is your refreshing honesty.

You are real and true to who you are. Of all the colors, you are the most comfortable in your own skin.

And unlike what your color might suggest, you don't have a jealous bone in your body.

Your heart is open, and you give your partner a lot of freedom. Because for you, stifling someone is not love.


*And I know whereof I speak, as I did my own version of Blanche DuBois very late one Friday evening there. I still owe favors to a coffee shop bus boy (who drove me to the hotel and wouldn't let me pay him) and a very nice guy who was in town to visit his son (and wouldn't let me pay him to take me back to the train station). It's an hour back to the Depot d'Omnibus from there by rail. Longer by car. Bankruptcy far by taxi.


If you are Cindy Kerr and you're looking for Leslie Morlock/Leslie Spiller, you've come to the right spot.

I've tried Google, Switchboard.com and Whitepages.com, and there's no listing for you in Cherry Valley.

I, on the other hand, refuse to pay for Classmates or those other inquiry services. Sorry.

I would, though, love to hear from you!

A Glance in the Rear-View Mirror

It's been a year...

... and I still miss her sweet face so!


Wow! You gotta admire this guy's shiny titanium balls. He still thinks he's driving his own personal short bus.

Textual harrassment? It's a scary thing when it's happening. I have a very good friend who I swapped cell phones with overnight so we could get her number changed out so the bastard wouldn't be able to reach her that way... but so she'd still be able to dial 911 in case of emergency, because he'd rented the apartment directly below hers and stalked her in the hallways, as well.

Where there's an ill, there's a way.

Father of the year?

(I'll tell you this -- if I'd been at that party and Darling Daddy had caught wind of it, that guy would have been a dead man.)

John Kass of the Chicago Tribune is having a little contest regarding the title of the Blagoviator's coming tome. I know some of my bloggitty buddies will take this and run a mile with it.

Update: Here's my own submission:

"Hot Air and Great Hair: The F*&^king Golden Governor"

Ah! There was, indeed, a black agenda:
Before President Obama won his campaign, he spoke to a group of African-American journalists and assured us that the "black agenda" would not be ignored under an Obama administration.

Obama recently established an office of urban affairs, naming Carrion czar and appointing Derek Douglas, another former New York official, to serve as a special assistant to the president for urban affairs.

I'm not sure how that's supposed to work. But it's pretty clear Carrion is being rewarded for helping Obama reach Latino voters during the presidential campaign.

That's troubling.
But it's white folks who are prejudiced. Uh huh.
Don't get me wrong. I appreciate that Obama did not forget his promise to elevate urban affairs on the national agenda once he arrived at the White House.

I only wish he had checked the politics at the door.
It's nice to see that Ms. Mitchell judges people by the content of their character (not to mention their qualifications), not the color of their skin.

Dr. King is spinning like a top in his grave.

Now we need a little palate cleanser. This should do nicely.

What an incredibly sweet kid.

Eye-Popping Quote of the Day:
Rather than tossing the placenta after birth, Selander's site suggests burying it and planting a tree on the spot or even shaping the umbilical cord into a heart or wreath that, once dried, will leave "you with a lasting keepsake to remember this momentous time in your life."
Yuck. That'll have me all squicked out for the rest of the month.

Use a straw??? Not with my WillaKenzie, I won't. Philistine!

Giggle of the Day:

funny pictures of dogs with captions
see more dog and puppy pictures

A couple of Blogthings, just because I can:


When you're confronted with a problem, you take it on immediately - but with your eyes wide open.

You deal with stress well. You take things as they come, and you don't panic.

In fact, you often enjoy challenging situations. Difficulty makes you feel alive.

You are alert and observant. You notice every twist and turn in the road.

... and...

You Would Be a Crafty Superhero

You are naturally curious and even a bit of a snoop. You like to have dirt on everyone - both enemies and friends.

You need a lot of freedom in your life. You like to do your own thing, and you don't fit into any normal mold.

You understand people quite well and often know what others are thinking. Because of this, you can get people to do what you want.

You tend to feel apart from the rest of the world. You don't really fit in, and you don't try to!

You are a true intellectual. You are thirsty for knowledge, and you are curious about the world.


Pennies From Heaven

As many of you know, the great Paul Harvey passed away Saturday evening.

Being a big fan of WGN Radio, I was listening as the news was announced there, his home for many, many years, first. Nick Digilio, who I know I've blasted here in the past (he's growing on me, really), and his team did an outstanding job of retrieving PH cuts and interviewing many of his colleagues throughout the night.

Lots of listeners called in at all hours over the weekend to relay their stories of how the man had touched them personally, never for a moment realizing that I'd be one of those people picking up the phone.

Sunday evening, I was listening to buddy Steve Dale do his regular Pet Central broadcast. He promised Paul Harvey clips relating to Steve and Pet Central at the end of his show.

I listened to the first, and realized that Mr. Harvey was telling the story of a kitty of my very own breeding. The second "Rest of the Story" was about Ricky, as well.

I've never dialed a phone so fast in my life.

Steve's producer connected me, and we had a nice chat. He was surprised I'd never heard those clips before.

So now I know the rest of the story.

Pennies from heaven -- I've got a lap full of them today.

Update: Here's the podcast of Pet Central honoring Paul Harvey.


Mostly Cajun, he makes me laugh, him:

Effects of alcohol on vocabulary

Results of a recent study:

1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate

1. No thanks, I’m married.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
4. Kebab? No thanks, I’m not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn’t it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn’t! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. I’m not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I’d hate to look like a fool!
9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.
10. I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning. [I swear the man knows me, although we've never met.]

Quote of the Day:
That is ten pounds of screwed up in a five pound bag.

Think Cute Overload is the bomb? Then try this. I'm smitten, I'll tell you.

Speaking of smitten, I think I might just have a spot in my bedroom for this chair. There's a showroom here in Chicago, so I'll head over on my lunch hour soon. If it's comfy, it's mine.

I've been craving milk, sour cream, cheese and ice cream like crazy lately. After lunch today, I grabbed a Klondike Choco Taco for a treat. Never again! That thing was five kinds of vile -- soggy "cone", freezer-burned, stale peanuts, plastic chocolate and almost no ice cream, which was why I wanted the damned thing in the first place.


Just yuck.

Loss of civil liberties in Britain? Man! That's hitting awfully close to home.

Two Giggles of the Day:

funny pictures of cats with captions
more animals

... and...

funny pictures of dogs with captions
see more puppies

More cuteness, because I just love everything about this:

Bulldog Kisses Orangutan

(Thanks, Julie!)