Leslie's Omnibus


I received this important public service announcement from my friend Barrie:
Important health issue

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?

Do you suffer from shyness?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Margaritas.

Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions.

Margaritas can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.
You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past.

You will discover many talents you never knew you had.

Stop hiding and start living, with Margaritas.

Margaritas may not be right for everyone.

Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Margaritas.

However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include:
  • Dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration
  • Erotic lustfulness
  • Loss of motor control
  • Loss of clothing
  • Loss of money
  • Loss of virginity
  • Excessive touching
  • Excessive rubbing
  • Extreme Fellatio desires
  • Table dancing
  • Headache
  • Dehydration
  • Dry mouth
  • A desire to sing Karaoke
WARNING: The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to think you can sing.
Just doing my civic duty here.


JihadGene said...

Don't drink and Karaoke!

Anonymous said...

I've been published!! Thanks, Les! Too bad it's not for one of my political rants, but maybe this made a better impression on everyone. :) Love you, Barrie