Psssssst!

If you're in town this evening, we're holding Therapy Night here after work. (It's walking distance to Union Station and the Brown, Red, Orange, Blue and Green lines. It's crawling distance from Ogilvy Transportation Center.) You're more than welcome to join us!

And, yes -- tonight I need all the therapy I can get.

Why?


You might say I'm a little burned out.

(A tip of the smokey, but still wearable driver's cap to Alx Kive for the swell photo.)

Bus Fumes

When are we going to close our ports to any sort of Chinese foodstuff or chemical additives?
_____

Got kids of car seat age? Then you're going to want to read this. Aren't you glad to know the manufacturers care so much about your children?
_____

Note to self: Not cool to jam your pinkie finger in your sleep. Just not. Ouchie, ouchie, ouchie, ouchie. (Makes it most uncomfortable to type.)
_____

Great. Now this:

Your Score: Sap- ESFJ

53% Extraversion, 46% Intuition, 46% Thinking, 80% Judging

Aww...you know that sensitive mamsy-pansy sap I was talking about earlier? Yeah. Well, someone had to get it and you pulled the short straw. Now pull yourself together, crybaby.

You are quite possible one of the most sensitive people I know and I don't even know you! You care what each and every single person thinks about you. You're the kind of person who sends around a txt to everyone they know saying "i thnk ur prtty. wat do u thnk abt me? rate me frm 1-5."

That's 1 meaning "I hate you" and 5 meaning "You make me vomit when I look at you." You're still crying, aren't you?

Sure. All you want is for someone to appreciate you once in a while. Aww... Boohoo. Hold a pity party sometime. The garden's free. Lots of worms down there. Big ones. Small ones. Squishy ones.

My guess is you don't understand this test one bit. You can't imagine how anyone could be so insulting or why anyone could find it even remotely amusing...STOP THE DAMN WATERWORKS, WOMAN!

Naive is a word that needs to be branded on your forehead... Alright, now I feel bad. Sure, you do have some redeeming factors, just not many. Sorry.

*****************

If you want to learn more about your personality type in a slightly less negative way, check out this.

*****************

The other personality types are as follows...

Loner - Introverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving
Pushover - Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging
Criminal - Introverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving
Borefest - Introverted Sensing Thinking Judging
Almost Perfect - Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving
Freak - Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging
Loser - Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving
Crackpot - Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging
Clown - Extraverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving
Commander - Extraverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving
Do Gooder - Extraverted Sensing Thinking Judging
Scumbag - Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving
Busybody - Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging
Prick - Extraverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving
Dictator - Extraverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging

Link: The Brutally Honest Personality Test

Thanks, Poppy.

Traveling Companions

She'll be all the way back soon. I promise.
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In the meantime, don't forget to visit the Friday Ark and the Carnival of the Cats. Weekend Cat Blogging will be up at Dragonheart's Domain tomorrow.

Bus Fumes

Well, poop. I should have brought my camera yesterday, as they were blowing things up and making big fires right down the street from my office.

Why?

Batman, of course.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

(Yes, I have the camera today. I'll grab a few shots of the sea of trailers parked behind my office. And maybe I can catch some of the filming tonight.)
_____

Update:

Some character names to be looking for in the credits:




The view from above. Impossible to get them all into the frame this way!


Not particularly glamorous, huh?

Tootin' the Horn

The first time I clapped eyes on Kenny and Willie (yes, Willie is the tiger equivalent of a person with Down Syndrome) at Turpentine Creek Wildlife Refuge, there were living in a cage with not a lot more than concrete and steel mesh.

Not anymore.

If this video of them taking their first steps into their new habitat doesn't bring a tear to your eye or a lump to your throat, nothing will.

Kudos to the all the folks at Turpentine Creek. Job well done.

Drive-Bys

It sounds like China is dead serious (literally) about improving food safety... but it appears that it is only due to fears the Beijing Olympics might be boycotted if the Chinese government did nothing. I'm not convinced that this is a meaningful effort. My personal boycott continues....
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Remember Livey's computer problems (scroll down)?

Behold!

The power of the blogosphere is a magical thing.

To anyone who kicked in to help, thank you, thank you, thank you!
_____

Your Toes Should Be Pink

You love to dress girly and work your feminine charms, with a bit of an edge. Your ideal guy: Is confident enough to get any girl he wants Stay away from: Jerks who only see you as eye candy

What Color Should Your Toenails Be?

Just so you know.

(A tip of the cap to that sassy Sourpuss.)
_____

$60,000 for a mattress??? *Ulp!* Tammi?

Drive-Bys

Authorities say Ahmad Abdallah Abu Ghanam had wrapped the gun in aluminum foil and a towel in his checked luggage....

Abu Ghanam is charged with the removal of a firearm serial number. He told police he bought the weapon on a street a month ago and didn't know the serial number was missing.

Oh, goody. I'm sure it's all a silly misunderstanding.
_____

Being as the three dumbasses in the cab were already "foobically intoxidated," they overshot and landed with an impressive splash, right in the MIDDLE of the waller. Where the truck promptly sank out of sight into the murky water.

Wonderful story telling! (And I love "foobically intoxidated"!)

Road Conditions

Do you live in Chicago? Are you fascinated by the film industry? Hate, hate, HATE it when traffic is rerouted and you don't know WHY? Answer yes to any of the above and the memo received from my office building's management today may be of interest to you:

Dear Customers:

Many of you are aware that there is a movie being filmed in the downtown area and in the upcoming weeks they will be closing many important streets as a product of the filming. I'm forwarding to all of you the most recent filming and street closure schedule that has been given to us. I hope this information helps to prevent any inconveniences.

2006 Film Services, Inc will be filming scenes for “Rory’s First Kiss” on Upper and Lower Wacker beginning Wednesday, July 11th and continuing through Sunday, July 22nd. Prior to filming, members of our crew will be prepping the area with set dressing and lighting equipment.

With the assistance of the Chicago Police Department, we will be staging nighttime street closures Wednesday, July 11th through Sunday, July 15th.

Please know that we will make every effort to accommodate local delivery/pick-up traffic, handicap transportation and other essential services. Traffic will be held in the following areas and times:

On Wednesday, July 11th
Upper Wacker Drive (From Van Buren to Adams) from 7pm to 9:30pm Van Buren St. (From Franklin to Clinton) from 6pm to 9:30pm Lower Wacker Drive (From Harrison to Michigan) from 7pm to 6am

On Thursday, July 12th
Upper Wacker Drive (From Van Buren to Madison) 6:30pm to 9:30pm Van Buren St. (From Franklin to Clinton) from 6:30pm to 9:30pm Monroe (River to Franklin) 6:30pm to 9:30pm Jackson (Canal to Franklin) 6:30pm to 9:30pm Adams (Canal to Franklin) 6;30pm to 9:30pm Lower Wacker Drive (From Harrison to Michigan) from 7pm to 6am

On Friday, July 13th
Upper Wacker Drive (From Van Buren to Adams) 6:30pm to 9:30pm Jackson (Canal to Franklin) 6:30pm to 9:30pm Lower Wacker Drive (From Harrison to Michigan) from 7pm to 6am

On Saturday, July 14th
Upper Wacker Drive (From Van Buren to Adams) 6pm to 9:30pm Jackson (Canal to Franklin) 6pm to 9:30pm Lower Wacker Drive (From Harrison to Michigan) from 7pm to 6am

On Sunday, July 15th
Upper Wacker Drive (From Van Buren to Adams) 6pm to 9:30pm Jackson (Canal to Franklin) 6pm to 9:30pm Lower Wacker Drive (From Harrison to Michigan) from 7pm to 6am

In addition we will be holding parking on the following streets on all of the above dates:

East side of Canal (Van Buren to Congress Pkwy Both sides of Franklin (Madison to Jackson) South side of Madison (Wacker to Franklin) Both sides of Lake (Franklin to LaSalle) Both sides of Franklin (Wacker to Randolph) Both sides of Post Pl. (Lake to Lower Wacker)

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Update: It appears that Rory's First Kiss is the shooting title for the next Batman movie. Ah! So that's why all those movie trailers are parked behind my office building!

Tootin' the Horn

I didn't want BabsRN to feel so bad about missing her two year blogiversary... so I went ahead and missed my own three year mark on Sunday.* Even back then it was an odd combination of linking and creative writing.

(That's a reminder that I really do need to spend more time on the creative writing end of things, I guess. Ah, well... when life slows down a mite, I'll put some more effort in that general direction.)

I had no idea when I started blogging just how much fun it would be, how many readers I'd pick up along the way, the incredible people it would bring into my realm of friendship and just how far I'd be willing to travel to meet up with them. I am forever grateful for that.

Milestones like this don't come along without a push in the first place. A huge "thank-you" to my BlogDaddy for the support and encouragement on the technical side of things (let alone for being a marvelous friend) and to my BlogMama for having the funky Blogger comments that catapulted me into signing up for a blog of my own when I was only trying to post a comment.

Happy Number Three to me!
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*But since I was still involved in the Ogmeet, I guess I had a good excuse!

Waving in the Rearview Mirror

Just a quick shout-out to all the folks who attended Ogmeet 2007 this weekend:

Shoe
Redneck
Zonker
Oddybobo
Tammi
T1G
Contagion
Ktreva
Harvey
TNT
Jon
Bloodspite
Teresa
Graumagus
Biloxi
The Great and Powerful Og

It was great to see each and every one of you.

(If you weren't able to attend -- I'll try to whip off a post about this wild and wacky group later. I haven't laughed like that in months!)
_____

And, yes -- we all wore underwear on our heads... Sheesh.

Drive-Bys

I'm only biting because a bunch of the cool chicks are doing this one:

Your Porn Star Name Is...

Sweetest Sin

What's Your Porn Star Name?

_____

Um............

You are Totally Realistic

"Romance" means you're about to roll your eyes. Seriously, you can do without the sap or drama -- save it for someone who has nothing really going on in their relationship For you, love is real - and easily integrated into your life. You don't need candles, flowers, or chocolates to know he's the one -- just some stimulating conversation... and maybe a great smile.

Are You a Romantic or Realistic Girl?

Yep.

(A tip of the cap to BabsRN for this one and the next two, as well.)
_____

Your Celebrity Boob Twin:

Lucy Lawless

Who's Your Celebrity Boob Twin?

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You Communicate Like a Man

When you communicate, you like to get to the point. You're not afraid to say what's on your mind - and leave it at that. Talking about your emotions drains you. You rather keep them to yourself. You prefer solving problems to wallowing in your sorrows.

Do You Communicate Like a Man or a Woman?

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Apparently Livey's computer finally bit the big one. A blogger without a computer is a scary, scary thing, and Livey, who lives on a restricted income, just doesn't have the cash to run right out and get a replacement.

Livey has a big heart and has been more than generous to others in the blogosphere -- just ask K or Nancy or Kellie. I sure hope others will be as generous to her.

If you can spare a buck or two, please drop by Northwoods Woman and hit her PayPal button.

Bloggers helping bloggers. It's a beautiful thing. Thanks a million!

From the Rowdies in the Back of the Bus

From the Sweetheart of Shell Knob, MO, comes this little tale:

Ole was walking home late at night, through the park, and sees a woman in the shadows.

"Twenty dollars!" she whispers.

He'd never been with a hooker before, but decides, what the hell, it's only twenty bucks.

So they hide in the bushes They're going 'at it' for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them -- it's a police officer. "What's going on here, people?" asks the officer.

"I'm making luff to my vife," Ole answers indignantly.

"Oh, I'm sorry." says the cop. "I didn't know."

"Vell," says Ole, "I din't neder, 'til you shine that damn light in her face."

Whew!

Yes, it's been a crazy week... softened by the early arrival of my pal Shoe on Wednesday evening.

I picked her up at O'Hare and drove her straight up to the joint where I moonlight on the weekends. Jimmy himself was manning the grill and serving up kebobs, burgers and other goodies for staff, friends of the restaurant and family. Good food, good drinks, good peeps. After a few a few pops and some great conversation, I drove her into the city to her hotel.

Yesterday, she dragged my sorry butt off for a cocktail and a quick bite to eat after I worked a 10.5 hour day. Stressed? Yes. But not so much after spending a few minutes (um.... hours?) with a good friend. Now she knows where we go for Therapy Nights. Anyhow, good pal that she is, she saw me off to my train and cabbed it back to her hideout.

Tonight, we're meeting for a brief cocktail out on the patio at this joint. Rumor has it that Mullet Boy and Oddybobo may be joining us there. Then we're piling into my little ride and heading off to Midway airport to pick up my absolute favorite RedNeck on the planet.

Here's where plans are still hazy -- I'm not sure whether Zonker and Oddy are riding with Shoe, 'Neck and I, or if they have other transport. Ah, well! I've fit more people, pets and paraphernalia into less space than you can imagine more than once in the past. Flexibility is my middle name.

After Midway, we're straight off to the Ogmeet.

Thank God. I really needed a vacation, even if it is only about 25 minutes away from home.

See you there?

Drive-Bys

Yep. And stressed, too, thank you. That about sums it up.

(A tip of the cap to geetarz.org for the image.)

Road Conditions

If you're coming in to Chicago from out of town via automobile or motorcycle for BlogHer or the Ogmeet, please keep in mind that you really need to follow the posted speed in road repair zones, even when there's no crew in sight.

The state has vans they move around to shoot radar and take photos of the plates of anyone who speeds there. You will get a ticket in the mail, and the cheapest one runs around $375.

Watch yourself out there, okay?

Drive-Bys

I am 81% Addicted to Coffee

Mingle² - Free Online Dating

Yep.
_____

Did I mention that I fell in love when I was down in Kerrville, TX? Yes, indeedy I did:



Who could resist all that charm?

(Make your own sketches from your favorite photos here.)
_____

You Are 54% Open

You are a fairly open person, but you also like to maintain your privacy. You definitely will tell all (okay, almost all) to your closest friends... But strangers and acquaintances only get a peek into your life.

How Open Are You?

You bet.
_____

Again, right on the money:

Your Political Profile:

Overall: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal Social Issues: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal Personal Responsibility: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal Fiscal Issues: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal Ethics: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal Defense and Crime: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal

How Liberal Or Conservative Are You?

_____

Bus Fumes

I'm speechless:

While making no apologies for McCormack, archdiocese spokeswoman Colleen Dolan said the perception of McCormack's crimes was worse than the reality. The priest admitted he pulled down the pants and fondled the genitals of five boys, but prosecutors never accused him of sexual assault, or rape.

The archdiocese of Chicago will never, never learn.

Sneed hears rumbles that the Rev. Daniel McCormack, who was sentenced to five years for the sexual abuse of five boys, reportedly vacationed several times with a top religious honcho in the Chicago archdiocese while complaints against him were being probed.

See?

Drive-Bys

I find these critters oddly endearing... although I'll bet they creep this guy out and make this guy grin.

I'm adding them to my birthday/Christmas/oh-what-the-heck-I-just-felt-like-treating-you list.

Bus Fumes

A measely FIVE YEARS??? That should have been for one count, not five!
_____

I wonder how many other big media outlets are going to ignore this bit of really good news.
_____

What is wrong with people, anyway? Stuff like this makes me think that some people have no moral compass any more.

Drive-Bys

Yeah, sure. Right. Like I'm going to believe this.

Until they can prove they've cleaned up their inspection standards, I'm still boycotting Chinese imports.

(A tip of the cap to the Instapundit.)

Drive-Bys

The answer is no. Pure and simple.
_____

You Are 68% Capitalist, 32% Socialist

In general, you support a free economy and business interests. You tend to think people should fend for themselves, even when times get tough. However, do think the government should help those who are truly in need.

Are You a Socialist or Capitalist?

Yep.
_____

My BlogDaddy knows me well. So well, in fact that he pointed me here with a note that it was "right down [my] alley".

Me want.

With autopilot and cup-holder options, natch.
_____

Quote of the Day:

Just when you think she can't elevate her game any higher, she straps on a rocket pack and shoots up into the fugtosphere.

Those chicks slay me.

Drive-Bys

I am a Leo. Yes, I am a lioness. And he can be my lion-whisperer any time he wants. Yuuuuuh-mee!

Bus Fumes

You still think the whole tainted Chinese imports thing is a coinky-dink? Yeah, right. Check out this and this. I'm telling you, if one of their products won't kill you, another one will. Let's see...

So far we've got tainted pet food, fish, toothpaste, honey, cough syrup and cosmetics, lead paint on toddler toys and defective tires. And they don't want us telling them that they need to meet our standards for their exported goods... not their own.

Oh, yeah... and if that doesn't convince you that they most certainly should not have most favored nation status with us, zip on out and buy this month's special edition of Vanity Fair, dedicated to all things African. Flip to page 126 for Enter China, The Giant, an article about China's interference in Darfur and why we can't get the U.N. to get involved more and tell me if that doesn't steam your Dim Sum.

Feels like Chinese water torture to me -- drip... drip... drip....

I'm still boycotting. How about you?
_____

I rarely ever disagree with Dr. Helen, but this post made me more than a little bit crazy.

Why?

First, a little background -- one of my million past careers was working as a legal secretary to a family law attorney. He was a good guy, and tried to deal fairly with parties on both sides of the equation. I know that people who go through divorces and don't go through mediation rarely , if ever, fight fair. Women lash out emotionally and do stupid things with their kids. Men fight like ninjas -- lightning fast and blindingly strong -- economically. Yep. Women aim for the emotional balls and men wield or withhold the wallet.

Still, I was also lucky enough to see some couples who were willing to put their personal differences aside and go through mediation, not because it was the easier thing to do (in fact, for many the impulse was to either kick ass and take names or run for the hills), but because it was the right thing to do for the benefit of their kids.

I also was married a million years ago to a guy with two kids from a previous marriage. This was a U.S. Air Force TSgt. who'd voluntarily done two tours of duty in Viet Nam. A guy who'd been Kennel Master at Kadena Air Base in Okinawa. A guy who'd been on the cover of Stars and Stripes as an Outstanding Airman of the Year.

Yes. All those things. But also the same guy for whom it was "too painful" to pick up a phone and call his own children, even though the kids were dying to hear from him. A guy who let me write the support checks and buy the holiday cards and gifts for the kids. To wrap them for the kids. Who practically forced him a gunpoint to sign the damned things. Who packed them up and shipped them off because it was "just to emotional" for him to do.

When his older child ran away from home so she could live with us, I was the disciplinarian, the bad guy who made us go to family counseling, the one who made her go to school every day, and who blew a major gasket when we found out she'd been seen, more than once, sneaking around the barracks in nothing more than a t-shirt and a skimpy pair of panties... and she was only sixteen. For her father, it was just too hard to look in her eyes and tell her that her behavior was unacceptable, and it would have to change.

In the end, he lost his kids because it was "just too hard" to reach out and be the dad they wanted him to be. And one of the big reasons he lost me is that I lost a tremendous amount of respect for him over this.

You don't get a pass on being a good parent just because it's "too hard" or "it hurts."

Spare. Me.

Yes -- I gave a child up for adoption. YES -- I made sure she had two wonderful parents who'd be exactly the kind of parents I wanted for her and couldn't be, due to circumstances that I could not change. No -- I never said, "Oopsy! Changed my mind." That's not responsible birth parenting, either. And, yes -- not doing that hurt like hell, too... but I gutted it out anyway, because I knew it was the right thing not to do.

When I was faced with being the responsible person, or knowing my stepchildren would be going without, I stepped up to the plate and did what needed to be done. Regardless of the fact that had no blood ties and no legal responsibility to them, their mother was angry as hell at my ex and he was guilty as sin about not being a good father, and it was not their fault that their own parents couldn't or wouldn't get their shit together.

I know it's been a year since Old Crankypants has been gone, but he and I once had a very intense email correspondence back and forth one of the times when he was blaming his young son for not seeing him more. I remember writing the words, "Who's the adult and who's the child here, Rob?" His answer was typical Rob -- "Fuck you."

And you know what? I lost a ton of respect for Rob the man that day. Rob the writer, I'll always admire, Rob the singer, son and grandson, too.

But not Rob the father. And not my ex-husband. And not any parent, father or mother, who gives up on their responsibility to their own children.

As adults we have a ton of resources including friends, family, counselors, priests, pastors, and pets to turn to for comfort. Hell, we can even pick booze or drugs or gambling or hookers for that matter.

But when our children turn to us for comfort and reassurance, they should damn sure find it when they ask for it.

Just who is the parent, and who is the child here?

Drive-Bys

Quote of the day:

Your opening slavo (sic) is fired: A sloppy wet fart with a solid-shot closer. I laugh and show you the power of Advanced American Foodstuffs.

Go read it all. I laughed so hard I had tears running down my face. This is truly Og-worthy stuff.

Drive-Bys

I'll bet I know somebody who'd like one of these for his collection of all things piratical!

_____

This gave me the giggles. And yes -- I can drive a stick, thank you.
_____

Ah! So it's not about the safety. It's all about the money.

This is Chicago... and it should come as no surprise.
_____

Thanks to Jay Solo and our discussion of the Chinese zodiac Blogthing, I stumbled across this gem of a description of those of us born in the Year of the Dog:

"Because they genuinely feel they know best, they can sometimes appear bossy." (Emphasis mine.)

Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahaha!!!

It had to have been written by someone born in the Year of the Dog. Of course we're not bossy. It only appears that way.

(And, man, does the truth hurt.)

Drive-Bys

Heard outside my window at 1:30 in the morning. Two guys are having a discussion, mostly muttered. Suddenly, very clearly in Skaterdude best:

"You know he said, it's like, 'You know,' you know?"

And I'm all like, say what? You know?
_____



But then, you already knew that.

(A tip of the cap to Chickie Carmarthen, who managed to skew her own score wildly this week.)
_____

Statues. Red Rover. Capture the Flag. Cowboys and Indians. Huckle Buckle Beanstalk.

What did you play when you were a kid? (You were a kid once, weren't you?)
_____

It's really nice when a romantic relationship ends -- for whatever reason -- and you loose the significant other, but retain the wonderful family.

The Sweetheart of Shell Knobb, MO and her Big-Hearted Beau rock righteously... and it was wonderful to see them again!
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What Your Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwich Means

Your eating style is reserved. You are a bit of a fussy eater, and you have very specific ways you like your food prepared. You don't really have a sweet tooth. If you go for dessert, you tend to go for something light. Your taste in food tends to be quite eclectic and wide. You are an adventurous eater, and you like many types of cuisines. You belong to a class that's all your own. You resist rules and traditions of any sort. You are a tough person who isn't afraid to live life fully. There isn't a lot that scares you. Precise and controlled, you can be a bit anal retentive when it comes to how you like things. You're definitely a perfectionist.

What Does Your Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich Say About You?

Huh.
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You Should Have Been Born Under:

You are totally loyal, faithful, and honest. However, you don't trust others to be as ethical as you are! Straight forward and direct, you really aren't one for small talk. You are a great listener - and an agreeable companion when you're in a good mood! You are most compatible with a Tiger or Horse.

What Year Should You Have Been Born Under?

Now that's just spooky as hell.
_____

You Are a Normal Girl

You are 50% Good and 50% Bad Sure you've pulled some bad girl stunts in your past. But these days, you're (mostly) a good girl.

Are You a Good Girl or a Bad Girl?

That must explain the PG rating above. Booooo-ring.

Chartered Excursions -- Chicago

Here's the latest poop on Ogmeet '07, which will be held in Naperville, IL over the weekend of July 6th. If you're around, you should join us. Cool peeps, every one.

Drive-Bys

I finally figured out where this guy's favorite blog fodder goes searching for baby names.
_____

I woke up at 3:14 a.m. with the Worst Earworm Ever stuck in my brain. I've had the radio commercial for this company rattling 'round upstairs ever since. Never really was able to get to sleep again, either.

An earworm about a Freudian psychiatrist consulting with his client, "Mad Max Madsen" (who never speaks a word), over the telephone, set to bad music. That's just sick.

Drive-Bys

Hah! The numbers don't lie.
_____

Meme Meme Meme...

THE "LALOLKFATYK" MEME

From New Yawk to Jawja to Joisey to Bahston to Tejas to Stillman Valley to the wilds of Canada, all the cool kids are doing this meme. What's it meme... er... mean? Learn A Lot Of Little Known Facts About Those You Know.” Egads. It's a long one, too. Anyhow, here are the rules:

When you get done reading about my quirks, answer the questions yourself and either post them on your blog or in the comments below. If you answer the meme on your blog let me know so I can sneak a peek.

Lord knows I never break a rule:

WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Yes. A friend of the family and a business acquaintance. Both of them men. Same with my middle name, Meredith, which can also be masculine or feminine.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
This morning, watching this YouTube video. I'm a sap for stuff like this. I freely admit it.

DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Not so much. I generally print if I have to hand write anything, and it's usually all in caps. Since a good deal of my employment revolves around how fast and accurately I can type, I prefer a keyboard to a pen or pencil.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
New York style hot pastrami piled high on soft, dark rye bread, slathered in spicy brown mustard. Bliss. Pure bliss.

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Yes, I do. If you'd have asked me that question six months ago, I'd have had a difficult time answering that. Thank Yaweh, she found me.

IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Well, I would hope so. I'm a pretty easy person to get along with.

DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
On the blog, yes. In person... I tend to use a lot of humor, but not necessarily sarcasm. When I infrequently pull that weapon out of my arsenal, many folks are surprised.

DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Nope. Offered 'em up involuntarily when I was seven. Believe me, no kid volunteers for that, no matter how much ice cream they bribe you with.

WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Not on your Nelly. Parasailing -- maybe. Paragliding -- definitely. I just like the idea of having a chute.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Honey Bunches of Oats. Any flavor.

DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
I rarely wear lace-up shoes. Sandals, flip-flops and mules figure highly in my shoe wardrobe.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
I must be. How else would I have made it this far on my own?

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Godiva White Chocolate Raspberry.

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Whether they look me straight in the eyes or straight in the boobs. Speaks volumes, don't you know?

RED OR PINK?
Meh. Green. New leaf green.

WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
Anxiety attacks. I don't get the kind that whomp you over the head; I get the kind that sneak up on you. Then the spiral begins -- I know I should call the doctor and get a new prescription, but my doctor's practice just sold and I can't just call him to get a 'scrip for Ativan anymore, so.... I know I need to make an appointment with the new doc, but she'll want to do a complete physical and the thought of that just ratchets up the panic, so then I start avoiding people because it's hard enough to hold it together at the office, sometimes I just can't do it outside of work, then the phone calls start from my family and I don't return their calls because I don't want them to know I'm having panic attacks, but of course they do. And my eating habits suffer -- I'll go to the fridge or go to a restaurant where they have perfectly delightful food and know that I'm hungry and need to eat, but all of a sudden I lose my appetite and close the fridge or walk out of the restaurant. Launder, rinse, repeat. And so it goes.

Sigh.

If you've never had 'em, I envy you.

WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
My father. My Great Aunt Dorothy and Great Uncle Aldy. My Auntie Francis. My dear friend Claude. Lily.

WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Washed denim crops with turquoise and green tropical embroidery; brown Mephisto Adamas. Mmmmmm! Comfy shoes!

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
An Anaheim Scrambler from Corner Bakery. (Yes -- it's worth the extra few cents!)

WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
The sound of pages turning in cubicles and offices to either side of me.

IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Sorry. I don't want to be just one color. I'd rather be the box of 96.

FAVORITE SMELLS?
Angel. Clothing fresh from the clothesline in the summer time. Apple pie baking. The Divine Miss Marilyn when I kiss her between the ears. The funky smell of these two wild things after they've been playing like mad and we all end up in a heap together. An ocean breeze. Blommer's chocolate factory first thing in the morning on a cold day as I'm crossing the river from the train station to my office building.

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
The Sweetheart of Shell Knob, MO! I'm so excited! I'm going to see her next week!

FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Who can pick? I'm not big into fishing or hunting shows, but I'll watch just about anything else.*

HAIR COLOR[S]?
Urk. I really do need to get myself off to a salon. Several shades of medium brown with a little red showing through... and silver roots that are screaming for immediate attention. [Note to self -- Make hair appointment.]

EYE COLOR?
Green.

DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Nope.

FAVORITE FOOD?
Any pork product except head cheese. Cheese of almost any variety. Pistachios. Olives.

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Scary movies give me nightmares. Happy endings preferred.

LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
In the theatre? That would be Serenity. No. I don't get out to the movies very often.

WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Peridot green.

SUMMER OR WINTER?
All four seasons.

HUGS OR KISSES?
Yes, please!

FAVORITE DESSERT?
Cheese, fresh fruit and biscuits.

MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Moogie. Meezer Mom Mary. LadyGunn.

LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
My Fairy Blogparents.

WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Hit Parade by Lawrence Block.

WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."--Groucho Marx

WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?
No T.V. at Chez Omnibus. Haven't had one in almost a year.

FAVORITE SOUND[S]?
Any good, tight harmony. "Please." "Thank you." "My treat."

ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
The Beatles.

WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
In the Americas -- Costa Rica. In Europe -- the Loire Valley in France.

DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I can pick up and sing harmony to almost anything. I hear harmony before I hear melody.

WHAT IS A PLEASANT SURPRISE?
Running into or hearing from someone you haven't seen in a long time.

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
In Cambridge, Massachusetts at Mount Auburn Hospital.

WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
Anyone who wants to play.
_____

*If I'm anywhere near a television, that is.

Tootin' the Horn

Woot! My pal Pammy's getting hitched.

Heartiest of congratulations to you and Ziggy!

Drive-Bys

Now there's a novel excuse -- "It was hot and so was she/he!" Yep. Just blame it on science.
_____

Need another reason to join the boycott of all imports from China? Try this. And this.

I'm beginning to really get creeped out by this. Who needs WMD when they can just sneakily poison us, our children and our pets with everyday products, a little bit here... a little bit there....
_____

I defy you! Come and kneel

before

Omnibus Driver!

Which movie was this quote from?

Get your own quotes:

(Thanks, Christine. I was in hysterics over this.)
_____

Pssst! If you're the one who sent me the subscription to Gourmet Magazine, thanks from the bottom of my heart (and stomach). But it would be really, really nice to know who you are so I can properly thank you!
_____

Quote of the day:

I think you need to warn people. Get him a customized collar or something. Something like, "WARNING: POOPS WHEN LIVID."

Hah! Made you laugh!
_____

How weird is this?

Drive-Bys

When I was in high school, my church youth group once raised money by buying an old, beat-up clunker of an automobile and holding a car bash to raise money to fund retreats and other stuff.

I guess this must be the... ummm... grown-up version?
_____

Call me crazy, but why aren't guys like this getting life behind bars?

Not 25 years. Not 35 years. Not 45 years.

Life, without the possibility of parole.

And throw their behinds into the general prison population and let nature take its course.

Another candidate? This guy, who apparently thinks he's bulletproof. Who let him out on bail in the first place, damn it?
_____

Les Moonves is an ass. I don't dislike Katie Couric because she's a woman. I've been clear in my disdain for her for years. I didn't watch the Today Show from 2003 through 2006. I celebrated like a crazy person when she finally left the Today Show.

Les? I heartily dislike her because she's become plastic over the years. Arrogant, too.

She's the world's worst interviewer, because she hogs the entire interview -- no one can get a word in edgewise when she's on a roll. She has repeated asked inappropriate and highly insensitive questions in her interviews... and then not shut the hell up long enough to give her interviewee time to adequately respond. Uck. And she preens in her chair while she's doing it. Gag. Me.

Les? There are those of us out here who don't care how you restructure that broadcast. As long as she is sitting in the anchor chair, I won't be watching. If she was a male anchor, instead, and the same type of bullying, preening boor, I wouldn't watch him, either.

Update: And it's not because I'm jealous, either. There are a lot of female broadcasters that I highly respect. It's just this particular specimen I despise.
_____

Speaking of bullying, preening boors... Phil Rosenthal rips him a new one, so I don't have to.

Beautiful.
_____

Well if India has the good sense to hold China's feet to the fire, why can't we?

Rubber-Necking

Aha! It takes someone who works closely with children to reveal the secret of V-Man's creativity.

If only he'd know the monkey's name is Spanky.

Heh.

Tootin' the Horn

RSM, I salute you.

You meet some damned fine folks through blogmeets, but you, my friend, are the finest of the fine.

Bus Fumes

Want another good reason to boycott Chinese imports of any kind?

Fine.

Go feast your eyes on this.

Bastards.
_____

This would be very helpful in my boycott of all things Chinese, indeed:

Amid concerns about the safety of pet food ingredients and catfish from China, consumers and even a few members of Congress are wondering why there isn't a law that requires merchants to label where food comes from.

The short answer: There is. And there has been since 2002.

The more complicated answer is that what Congress passes, Congress can take away. The requirement for "country-of-origin labeling"—or COOL, as Washington knows it—for food products was postponed a year after its adoption, due to heavy lobbying from food groups saying the law was unnecessary and expensive.

Who needs new laws when just enforcing the ones we have would be so helpful?

(A tip of the cap to Elizabeth, who from a long, long way away steered me to an article in my own local paper. Who'd a thunk it?)
_____

Drive-Bys

I love these blogthings. So sue me, okay?

You Communicate With Your Ears

You love conversations, both as a listener and a talker. What people say is important to you, and you're often most affected by words, not actions. You love to hear complements from others. And when you're upset, you often talk to yourself. Music is very important to you. It's difficult to find you without your iPod.

How Do You Communicate?

Except for the iPod, that's pretty accurate.
_____

You Are 76% Lady

Overall, you are a refined lady with excellent manners. But you also know when to relax and not get too serious about etiquette.

Are You A Lady?

_____

You Don't Have a Big Mouth

In fact, you like to keep your life very private. You figure that your personal life is no one's business. And if people try to pry, they'll end up unsuccessful. You're a big mystery to people - and that's fine by you!

Do You Have a Big Mouth?

And that's the straight-up truth.
_____

Omnibus Driver -- [noun]: A person with a sixth sense for detecting the presence of goblins 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Because all the cool kids are doing this one.
_____

MISSING: Omnibus Driver

Was last seen speaking in tongues

'What will you last be seen doing?' at QuizGalaxy.com

_____

From the Rowdies in the Back of the Bus

That silly, silly Nancy V. sends me this little message:

This coming week is National Mental Health Care week. You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.

Well, my job is done .....Your turn!

Thanks a million, Nancy. As for the rest of you -- pass it on.

Drive-Bys

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Blame it on the Ambulance Driver, okay?

Drive-Bys

I got mine -- go get your own!

(A tip of the cap to Eric Zorn.)
_____

Quote of the day:

I know full well I'm expected to Suspend My Disbelief. Unfortunately, my disbelief is very heavy, and during "Ocean's Thirteen," the suspension cable snapped.

Pure, classic Roger Ebert!
_____

Hmmmmmmmmm:

You scored as Remus Lupin, You are a wise and caring wizard and a good, loyal friend to boot. However sometimes in an effort to be liked by others you can let things slide by, which ordinarily you would protest about. Remus Lupin 95% Hermione Granger 90% Sirius Black 70% Ron Weasley 70% Harry Potter 70% Ginny Weasley 70% Albus Dumbledore 65% Severus Snape 60% Draco Malfoy 55% Lord Voldemort 15% Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...? created with QuizFarm.com

_____

Tootin' the Horn

A little birdie told me...

... a lovely Texas gardener is having a birthday today. Big hugs to you, Nancy!

(And a tip of the cap to Mary Saxon Griffin for the lovely photo!)

Drive-Bys

I've hit Mach III and there's not a damned brass ring in sight anywhere...

(A tip of the cap to CNE Media, who perfectly portrayed how my week is going so far.)

Drive-Bys

Wow! Here's an entire blog dedicated to one of Nature's Perfect Foods.

Bacon.

Yummy, yummy bacon.

Tootin' the Horn

This is a huge thank-you to Christine for the lovely, lovely package that arrived Friday!

The earrings are perfect, and the bracelet is like wearing a mountain stream on my wrist -- all clear blue waters, green moss, stones, speckled trout and box turtle colors. The pearls remind me of sunbeams on moving water.

And my extra treat? Girlfriend, you are the bombitty-bomb. I adore pearls, especially in such gorgeous shapes and colors.

If you keep this up, I may just have to go buy this, too.

Bus Fumes

Oh, fer cripes sake! Enough with the political correctness already.
_____

Well isn't this warm and fuzzy news. I'm checking labels from now on. No buying anything made in China until their safety standards improve radically.
_____

Well isn't this just ducky. I know I kidded around about this by dubbing round-ups of the various posts and articles on the subject the Carnival of the Khakis... but it's inconceivable that we'll never know just which documents he stole and/or destroyed.

Drive-Bys

The Confabulator wants his car to have a cool name, so he's holding a name-that-car contest.

My vote?

Based on the description of his vehicle, I think it should be named Maxine.

Appropriate, don't you think?
_____

Here we go again. And again I ask -- why are we still allowing Chinese products to be imported into our country?

Road Conditions

Driving in Chicago this summer? Then my friend Pam says:

I thought you should know It has been reported that the police have vans stationed at the following locations as you drive south on the expressway:

> 22nd and Cermak
> 69th and the Dan Ryan
> 95th and or 99th and the Dan Ryan
> 119th and the Dan Ryan (the Dan Ryan ends at 99th Street . . . so this can either be at 119th & The Bishop Ford Expressway or 119th & I-57).

I wanted to give you all a heads up on what's going on in the city on the Dan Ryan now. It seems there are ordinary looking vans, maybe white, parked at different locations along the Ryan. If you are speeding, whether it's 1 mile an hour over or 20, doesn't matter. It takes a picture of the front and back of the car and automatically sends out a ticket. The city is racking up. So, SLOOOOOOOOWWW DOWNNNNNN!! Unless you have $405 to throw away.

Get the word out. Since so much construction is going on, the van appears to be part of that, but it's not. Be careful!!!

This is what she's talking about.

From the Rowdies in the Back of the Bus

The Sweetheart of Shell Knob, MO, a former Chicagoland resident, sends this little gem:

Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, Wisconsin is planning to do its own entitled "Survivor - Wisconsin-Style"....

The contestants will start in Milwaukee; travel up to Sheboygan and on to Manitowoc and Green Bay. Then they will head over to Wausau and up to Rhinelander and Minocqua. From there they will proceed up to Ashland and Superior. Then back down through Rice Lake, Eau Claire, and all the way down to Madison and back over to Milwaukee.

Each contestant will be driving a pink Volvo with Illinois license plates and a large bumper sticker that reads: Brett Favre is Gay. I'm a vegetarian. Bratwurst clogs your arteries. The Green Bay Packers suck. Go Bears! Cheese is high in cholesterol. Hillary in 2008. Deer hunting is murder and I'm here to confiscate your guns.

The first one that makes it back to Milwaukee alive WINS! Good luck to all contestants.

_____

TEST YOUR EYES !!

Can you find the B (there are 2B's)?

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

*Once you’ve found the B,* *find the 1*

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII1III
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

*Once you found the 1,* *find the 6*

9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999699999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999

*)nce you’ve found the 6,* find the N (it's hard!!)

MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMNMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM

*Once you've found the N,* find the Q*

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOQOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

_____

A bit of advise from Elizabeth:

If you sometimes get the sudden urge to run around naked, drink some Windex.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

It will keep you from streaking.

_____