I LOST my MOM

(Published June 2, 2004 in my old e-mail Omnibus)

The Mom Update (as promised yesterday):

The good new is that Mom is back from Florida, looking fabulous. The bad news is that I lost her for a while this weekend. How? It's an interesting tale...

On Sunday, she and I joined Heidi and Fred for a cook out at Fred's parents. (If they're Heidi's in-laws, does that make them my out-laws? They're great people, in any case) Despite the fact that, due to the unbelievable amount of rain we've been having, building an ark was becoming a temptation, we had a great time. I stayed over at Mom's Sunday night.

Although Keith and Holly were up in Wisconsin at Holly's dad's place, Keith's friend Blade was visiting from Houston, TX and staying with Mom. He took Mom and I to breakfast on Monday. Mom was planning to come to my house in the city, and we decided that she'd drive in with me and take the train home. Blade could then use Mom's car during the day. He would then pick her up at the train station in Naperville. (He lived in Naperville for a long time, and knows the area very well.) Talking of trains lead Blade and I to laugh about the fact that he'd fallen asleep on the last Metra train home and missed his stop and ended up in Aurora (the last stop) more than once in the past, and that I've done the same on the Brown line and the Red line in the city. We should have known better. Blade then said he was trying to get a hold of his kids for dinner, but wasn't having any luck reaching them, so I invited him to join us in the city if that panned out. Blade and I programmed each other's number into our cell phones so we could coordinate either him coming in to the city for dinner and driving Mom home, or picking her up at the station. On that happy note, we parted company with Blade.

We had a glorious day in the city. Got some decorating ideas for my place. Did a LOT of therapeutic shopping. Scored some great bargains. Talked to Blade, and found he'd gotten in touch with his daughter and would be dining with her. I told him that I'd be putting Mom on the 8:30 train that arrived Naperville at 9:30. No problem.

Went out to Calo's, an old-fashioned, family style Italian restaurant for a great dinner and more wonderful conversation. Did a little window shopping in the Andersonville area, which has changed a TON in the 15 years I've been living on the north side. Finally hustled Mom into the car and headed off to Union Station. Dropped her off at 8:10 p.m. -- PLENTY of time to buy a train ticket and board the train. My last words to her before she headed down the escalator were, "Call me when you get home." Right.

Thinking all was well with the world, I decided to stop at the Old St. Andrews Pub for a glass of wine before heading home. Put my cell phone on the bar so that I'd hear it right away when Mom called. Round about quarter to ten the phone rang. It wasn't Mom, it was Blade. "Leslie, did you put your mom on the 8:30 train?"

"Well, I didn't actually go down and put her on the train, but I left her at the station at 8:10. Why?"

"I'm standing on the platform here in Naperville, and I didn't see your Mom get off. I've been up and down the platform and she's not here."

"WHAT????? You mean we LOST my MOM?" Shit, shit, shit. Panic, panic, panic. My brother is out of town and my mother is lost. He's gonna KILL me. Then he's gonna kill Blade. "Maybe she fell asleep on the train. She didn't have a book with her to hold her attention. Maybe she fell asleep."

"Do you suppose she got off at the wrong station? Maybe she woke up and got off at Route 59?"

Much frantic discussion ensued. Blade decided to head off to Route 59 to see if she was there.

The guy in the barstool to my right leaned over and said, "Your mother is fine, you'll see." The couple to my right nodded in agreement. I sipped my Cabernet and stared holes through my phone willing it to ring and have it be Mom on other end. Nothing. Shit, shit, shit. Panic, panic, panic. My brother is going to kill us.

Twenty minutes later, the phone rang again. "Leslie, she's not at Route 59. Where could she BE?"

"Well, if she fell asleep, she'll probably get all the way to Aurora and the conductor will wake her up."

"Shit."

"Yeah. That, too."

Guess where Blade went next? Uh huh.

"Leslie?"

"You're not going to believe this, but your mom's not here. I talked to the conductor, and he doesn't recall seeing her on the train."

Ack!

"What are you going to do?"

"Go back to Route 59, and then back to Naperville, I guess. What are YOU going to do?"

"Head for Union Station and start questioning anyone and everyone I can find, I guess."

"You know your brother's going to kill us, right?"

"Yep."

[Part II tomorrow…]