Leslie's Omnibus

Driving Solo

There's an interesting post here about being an adult orphan. I joined that particular/peculiar fraternity last September.

Unlike people for whom it happened suddenly and/or unexpectedly, I had time in both cases to prepare for it.

Most of the time, I'm okay with it, as I know that neither of my parents are in pain any more. And I had plenty of time to say the things that needed saying, ask the questions that needed asking, and say the words "I love you" over and over again.

Still, there are moments when the not having my parents hollows me out entirely. Grief hits when you least expect it, and think you are doing okay. The first birthday without a telephone call from the Princess Mom hit me like a ton of bricks. I'd cleared the hurdles of Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Valentines Day, her birthday, their anniversary, Mother's Day and Father's Day. Then, BLAMMO, was the one day she'd always called me, and there was no call.

It helps to know that I've begun to acquire the Princess Mom's finely-tuned bullshit meter. And I have running conversations, out loud, with Darling Daddy when I have a difficult decision to make. I may not hear his voice out loud, but, in my heart, he never steers me wrong.

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