I'm going home to pack:
This interesting instrument (check)
This fashion statement (check)
A little something for Key's B-Day (check)
Frango Mints (picking up on the way home)
Garrett's Chicago Style Popcorn (picking upon the way home)
And the Landscaper is arriving at the Kristy by Saturday morning. (You don't know who or what the Landscaper is??? Whatsamatta you?)
I think I'm ready for just about anything...
_____
(See you Monday!)
Shout-Out to the Prayer Warriors
My soul sister is having a health crisis, and needs your prayers:
_____
Dana is also struggling with some very difficult personal issues. Please keep her in your prayers, as well.
_____
"Formerly, I've asked for prayers for the health of my feet and l legs within the context of a blog post. A condition settled there upon my return from Alaska that we (my doctor and I) can't figure out. Edema is the problem. It's getting so bad now, I can feel swelling in my hands. Since I just had surgery in my right foot, this is quite uncomfortable and the best relief is lying in bed with my legs elevated. (They actually feel 'diseased.') What a horrible life for someone who is so used to being active!Paula is not a whiner. If she's asking, she really needs our support. She's a true believer in the power of prayer... and so am I.
"The first time I went to the doctor, I had several tests done to rule out: congestive heart failure, diabetes, and complications of hypothyroidism. I'm in the clear with all those.
"Baffling. Please pray I'll find relief if not a diagnosis."
_____
Dana is also struggling with some very difficult personal issues. Please keep her in your prayers, as well.
_____
From the Rowdies in the Back of the Bus
Ann Althouse is bra-blogging here. (Whoohoo! I got a mention... and, no. That particular costume didn't embarass me. Heck. The Princess Mom looked HOT.)
_____
Dave Kilpatrick blogs his Underwear Manifesto there. (Scroll down.)
Hmmm.... I'd give almost anything to set him up on stage at a comedy club with a microphone and an International Male catalog.
(A tip of the cap to Dragonfly Jenny.)
_____
This little graphic from Nancy V. has had people all over my office giggling all afternoon:
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_____
Dave Kilpatrick blogs his Underwear Manifesto there. (Scroll down.)
Hmmm.... I'd give almost anything to set him up on stage at a comedy club with a microphone and an International Male catalog.
(A tip of the cap to Dragonfly Jenny.)
_____
This little graphic from Nancy V. has had people all over my office giggling all afternoon:
_____
Drive-Bys
Elizabeth has a point here:
Teacher's Application:
After being interviewed by the school administration, the eager teaching prospect said: "Let me see if I've got this right .
"You want me to go into that room with all those kids, and fill their every waking moment with a love for learning.
"And I'm supposed to instill a sense of pride in their ethnicity, modify their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse and even censor their T-shirt messages and dress habits.
"You want me to wage a war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, check their backpacks for weapons of mass destruction, and raise their self esteem.
"You want me to teach them patriotism, good citizenship, sportsmanship, how to play, how to register to vote, how to balance a checkbook, and how to apply for a job.
"I am to check their heads for lice, maintain a safe environment, recognize signs of anti-social behavior, make sure all students pass the mandatory state exams, even those who don't come to school regularly or complete any of their assignments.
"Plus, I am to make sure that all of the students with handicaps get an equal education regardless of the extent of their mental or physical handicap.
"And I am to communicate regularly with the parents by letter, telephone, newsletter and report card.
"All of this I am to do with just a piece of chalk, a computer, a few books, a bulletin board, a big smile AND on a starting salary that qualifies my family for food stamps!
"You want me to do all of this and yet you expect me......
"NOT TO PRAY???"
_____
Buckroo Bonsai has reason to be nervous. V-Man has the recipe for disaster down in the comments.
Lord. Have. Mercy.
_____
Well, this test sure turned up interesting results for me:
Personally, I'd have thought I was more of an economic conservative than that...
_____
Teacher's Application:
After being interviewed by the school administration, the eager teaching prospect said: "Let me see if I've got this right .
"You want me to go into that room with all those kids, and fill their every waking moment with a love for learning.
"And I'm supposed to instill a sense of pride in their ethnicity, modify their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse and even censor their T-shirt messages and dress habits.
"You want me to wage a war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, check their backpacks for weapons of mass destruction, and raise their self esteem.
"You want me to teach them patriotism, good citizenship, sportsmanship, how to play, how to register to vote, how to balance a checkbook, and how to apply for a job.
"I am to check their heads for lice, maintain a safe environment, recognize signs of anti-social behavior, make sure all students pass the mandatory state exams, even those who don't come to school regularly or complete any of their assignments.
"Plus, I am to make sure that all of the students with handicaps get an equal education regardless of the extent of their mental or physical handicap.
"And I am to communicate regularly with the parents by letter, telephone, newsletter and report card.
"All of this I am to do with just a piece of chalk, a computer, a few books, a bulletin board, a big smile AND on a starting salary that qualifies my family for food stamps!
"You want me to do all of this and yet you expect me......
"NOT TO PRAY???"
_____
Buckroo Bonsai has reason to be nervous. V-Man has the recipe for disaster down in the comments.
Lord. Have. Mercy.
_____
Well, this test sure turned up interesting results for me:
| You are a Social Moderate (50% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (35% permissive) You are best described as a:
Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid |
Personally, I'd have thought I was more of an economic conservative than that...
_____
Rubber-Necking
Pammy posted Quizzical Quotes and Quirky Quips - Volume 3. This reminded me of a conversation I had with Buckaroo Bonsai over dinner at Red Lobster last night.
Me: "I wish I could buy these cheese biscuits frozen, so I could take some home."
BB: "We should ask if they do that."
Me: "No. They would advertise if they did that. Everybody loves their cheese biscuits. Anyway, I snagged that Paula Deen recipe for cheese biscuits off the Food Network website earlier today. Maybe I'll try freezing a couple of those when I make them. What's the worst that could happen? Cheese flavored hockey pucks?"
BB: "You know, we still have a tube of biscuits in the fridge that we should use up, first."
Me: "Yeah, I know. But they're not cheese biscuits."
BB: "I know! I'll bet you could take some of that squirt cheese stuff, stick that nozzle up the biscuit, wiggle it around and squirt as much as you want."
I lost complete control. Pinot Grigio straight up the nose. Hysterical laughter. Tears down the face. (I can't help it. I have a sick, sick sense of humor.)
BB: "What did I say?"
_____
Update: Okay. This is just weird karma. Simultaneous biscuit blogging. Who'da thunk it?
_____
Update 2: Ms. Moogie is about to make me look stellar in Buckaroo Bonsai's eyes -- she sent me not one, but two different versions of the Red Lobster Cheddar Biscuit recipe:
Ingredients:
2 C. Bisquick
1/2 C. cold water
3/4 C. grated, sharp cheddar cheese
1/4 C. butter
1 tsp. parsley flakes
1/2 tsp. garlic powder
1/2 tsp. Italian seasoning
Preparation:
Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Mix together baking mix, cold water, and grated cheese. Cut biscuits with a cutter, and place onto a baking dish. Melt butter and seasonings together. Brush with the butter and spices and bake for 8 to 10 minutes. However, you cannot make the EXACT biscuits, because they have a special butter/garlic sauce that is not available to the general public. See how they are!!
======
Ingredients:
2 C. Bisquick
2/3 C. milk
1/2 C. shredded Cheddar Cheese
1/2 C. butter or margarine, melted
1/4 tsp. garlic powder
Preparation:
Heat oven to 450 degrees. Mix bisquick, milk and cheese until a soft dough forms. Drop by spoonfuls onto an ungreased cooking sheet. Bake 8- 10 min until golden brown. Mix butter and garlic powder. Brush mixture over warm biscuits before removing from cookie sheet.
_____
Yum!
_____
Me: "I wish I could buy these cheese biscuits frozen, so I could take some home."
BB: "We should ask if they do that."
Me: "No. They would advertise if they did that. Everybody loves their cheese biscuits. Anyway, I snagged that Paula Deen recipe for cheese biscuits off the Food Network website earlier today. Maybe I'll try freezing a couple of those when I make them. What's the worst that could happen? Cheese flavored hockey pucks?"
BB: "You know, we still have a tube of biscuits in the fridge that we should use up, first."
Me: "Yeah, I know. But they're not cheese biscuits."
BB: "I know! I'll bet you could take some of that squirt cheese stuff, stick that nozzle up the biscuit, wiggle it around and squirt as much as you want."
I lost complete control. Pinot Grigio straight up the nose. Hysterical laughter. Tears down the face. (I can't help it. I have a sick, sick sense of humor.)
BB: "What did I say?"
_____
Update: Okay. This is just weird karma. Simultaneous biscuit blogging. Who'da thunk it?
_____
Update 2: Ms. Moogie is about to make me look stellar in Buckaroo Bonsai's eyes -- she sent me not one, but two different versions of the Red Lobster Cheddar Biscuit recipe:
Ingredients:
2 C. Bisquick
1/2 C. cold water
3/4 C. grated, sharp cheddar cheese
1/4 C. butter
1 tsp. parsley flakes
1/2 tsp. garlic powder
1/2 tsp. Italian seasoning
Preparation:
Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Mix together baking mix, cold water, and grated cheese. Cut biscuits with a cutter, and place onto a baking dish. Melt butter and seasonings together. Brush with the butter and spices and bake for 8 to 10 minutes. However, you cannot make the EXACT biscuits, because they have a special butter/garlic sauce that is not available to the general public. See how they are!!
======
Ingredients:
2 C. Bisquick
2/3 C. milk
1/2 C. shredded Cheddar Cheese
1/2 C. butter or margarine, melted
1/4 tsp. garlic powder
Preparation:
Heat oven to 450 degrees. Mix bisquick, milk and cheese until a soft dough forms. Drop by spoonfuls onto an ungreased cooking sheet. Bake 8- 10 min until golden brown. Mix butter and garlic powder. Brush mixture over warm biscuits before removing from cookie sheet.
_____
Yum!
_____
Prayer Warrior Alert
For the souls of these poor people, let us pray.
For Jim, Lair, Alex, and all the folks in my company's Houston and College Station offices, along with their families and beloved pets.
For New Orleans, which is flooding again.
For the grandson of my office manager, who was born quite premature and seems to be failing to thrive, and for his mother, who is frantic with fear.
For all of these and more, let us pray.
_____
For Jim, Lair, Alex, and all the folks in my company's Houston and College Station offices, along with their families and beloved pets.
For New Orleans, which is flooding again.
For the grandson of my office manager, who was born quite premature and seems to be failing to thrive, and for his mother, who is frantic with fear.
For all of these and more, let us pray.
_____
From the Rowdies in the Back of the Bus
One quick blonde joke from the lovely and talented Nancy V.:
Two blondes are sitting in StarBucks.
One looks at the newspaper and sees the headline, "12 Brazilian Soldiers Killed In Conflict".
She then turns to the other blonde and asks, "How many is a Brazilian?"
Bah-dum-bum!!!
_____
Two blondes are sitting in StarBucks.
One looks at the newspaper and sees the headline, "12 Brazilian Soldiers Killed In Conflict".
She then turns to the other blonde and asks, "How many is a Brazilian?"
Bah-dum-bum!!!
_____
On the Bus Driver's Radio...
Update: My colleague, Bruce Abramson, has been rescheduled to discuss his book Digital Phoenix on WILL-AM public radio's Focus 580 tomorrow (September 22nd) at 11:00 a.m. The show will be streamcast. Go here for more information.
I'm about a third of the way through the book right. Bruce is a brilliant guy with a lot of interesting things to say about intellectual property law and the economy. Tune in, if you can.
_____
I'm about a third of the way through the book right. Bruce is a brilliant guy with a lot of interesting things to say about intellectual property law and the economy. Tune in, if you can.
_____
Rubber-Necking
Whoa!
(Made you look!)
The Fake Doctor will make you laugh. (After he's finished grossing you out, that is.)
_____
Yes, but was he fierce, and did he belong to this guy?
_____
"Yet, a more important second factor comes into play, one that may not be initially obvious to the amateur breast inspector."
(Made you look!)
The Fake Doctor will make you laugh. (After he's finished grossing you out, that is.)
_____
Yes, but was he fierce, and did he belong to this guy?
_____
Drive-Bys
Between Exorcism School and Homo Hunt 2005, it feels like the new Pope is hauling the Catholic church straight back to the days of the Spanish Inquisition. Ugh. Creepy.
_____
_____
Rubber-Necking
Ann Althouse has a Google ad in her sidebar for "Hyperformance Briefs." The linked site refers to "Hyperlinked Briefs." Is it me, or does that put naughty pictures in your brain, rather than suggest the boring combination of legal and IT it really is?
_____
"...searchable, portable, and powerful. No wonder she's pleased."Heh!
_____
PSA
My friend Cheryl sent this link for more charities related to pets left behind in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. If you can watch the whole thing and not want to drop at least a couple of bucks in any one of these charities, you're probably not the kind of person I'd like to know.
_____
_____
From the Rowdies in the Back of the Bus
Nancy V. sent these photos, cautioning that they are the result of strong drink. Somehow, I get the feeling that this is what the gang in Helen is going to look like round about Sunday morning, especially after the Chatham Artillery Punch:
Key
Kelley
Moogie
Mr. Moogie
Buckaroo Bonsai and I
Velociman
Mullet Boy (Yep. I've heard about him!)
God help us all.
_____
From Elizabeth -- Kids' Sunday School Letters to God
Dear God:
Boudreaux & Band-Aids
(that's pronounced BOO-dro, for y'all not familiar with Louisiana)
Boudreaux staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Thibodeaux.
He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Clotile.
He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step.
As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump.
A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.
Managing not to yell, Boudreaux sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his buttocks were cut and bleeding.
He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.
He then hid the now almost empty box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.
In the morning, Boudreaux woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Clotile staring at him from across the room.
She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you Boudreaux?"
Boudreaux said, "Mon cher, why you say such a mean ting?"
"Well," Clotile said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly......it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the downstairs mirror."
_____
Key
Kelley
Moogie
Mr. Moogie
Buckaroo Bonsai and I
Velociman
Mullet Boy (Yep. I've heard about him!)
God help us all.
_____
From Elizabeth -- Kids' Sunday School Letters to God
Dear God:
- In Sunday School they told us what you do. Who does it when you are on vacation?
- How did you know you were God?
- On Halloween I am going to wear a Devil's costume, is that all right with you?
- Are you really invisible or is that just a trick?
- Did you mean for giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?
- Do animals get to use you too or is there someone else for them?
- I went to this wedding and they kissed right in the church ... is that OK?
- Did they really talk that fancy in Bible times?
- Is Reverend Coe a friend of yours or do you just know him through the business?
- Did you really mean do unto others as they do unto you, because if you did then I'm going to fix my brother.
- My grandpa says you were around when he was a little boy. How far back do you go?
- I know all about where babies come from. I think. From inside mommies, and daddies put them there. Where are they before that? Do you have them in Heaven? How do they get down here? Do you have to take care of them all first?
- Thank you for the baby brother but what I prayed for was a puppy.
- Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now.
- Why is Sunday School on Sunday? I thought it was suppose to be our day of rest.
- I wish you would not make it so easy for people to come apart. I had 3 stitches and a shot.
- If we come back as something else, please don't let me be Jennifer Horton, because I hate her. Thank You. Love, Denise
- Please send Dennis Clark to a different camp this year.
- Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother.
- I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big but not with so much hair all over.
- I bet it is very hard for you to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it.
- Of all the people who work for you, I like Peter and John the best.
- My brother told me about being born but it sure doesn't sound right.
- If you watch in church on Sunday, I will show you my new shoes.
- I like the story about Chanukah the best of all of them. You really made up some good ones!!
- I would like to live for 900 years like the guy in the bible.
- We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday school they said you did it. So, I bet he stole your idea.
- It is great the way you always get the stars in the Right places.
Boudreaux & Band-Aids
(that's pronounced BOO-dro, for y'all not familiar with Louisiana)
Boudreaux staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Thibodeaux.
He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Clotile.
He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step.
As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump.
A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.
Managing not to yell, Boudreaux sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his buttocks were cut and bleeding.
He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.
He then hid the now almost empty box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.
In the morning, Boudreaux woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Clotile staring at him from across the room.
She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you Boudreaux?"
Boudreaux said, "Mon cher, why you say such a mean ting?"
"Well," Clotile said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly......it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the downstairs mirror."
_____
Bus Fumes
Goose abuse, meaningless resolutions and dress codes for cabbies. Feh. That ain't "My Kind of Town." Glad to see our aldermen are hard at work on the pressing concerns of running the city.
_____
I am seriously allergic to housework, so if you're going to make the Pledge unconstitutional, why can't it be this Pledge, instead? I could really get behind that notion.
_____
_____
I am seriously allergic to housework, so if you're going to make the Pledge unconstitutional, why can't it be this Pledge, instead? I could really get behind that notion.
_____
Drive-Bys
Why add Barry Beelzebub to my blogroll? Why, quotes like this, of course:
Beautiful, idn't it?
_____
I don't usually remember my dreams. I do know that sometimes they last all night and are unsettling and odd, but not nightmares.
While I don't remember most of my dream last night, I do remember that my mother was in it. And, WOW, did she look great!
It was clear that I was dreaming of her in the present, but she looked to be in her late 30's, lightly tanned and fit. She was wearing a beautifully tailored black skirt, cream shawl-collared silk blouse with bands of olive and rust on the collar edge, sheer black hose, stylish high-heeled black pumps, ultra modern tortoise shell glasses, and had rich, shiny, thick auburn hair cut in a sleek bob. She looked sharp and professional. She looked happy.
I don't know why, but this brought me a great deal of comfort, and I woke up smiling.
_____
"I tell you, if you could bottle eau de sales rep, it would smell of failure, Travelodges and three-day-old socks."
Beautiful, idn't it?
_____
I don't usually remember my dreams. I do know that sometimes they last all night and are unsettling and odd, but not nightmares.
While I don't remember most of my dream last night, I do remember that my mother was in it. And, WOW, did she look great!
It was clear that I was dreaming of her in the present, but she looked to be in her late 30's, lightly tanned and fit. She was wearing a beautifully tailored black skirt, cream shawl-collared silk blouse with bands of olive and rust on the collar edge, sheer black hose, stylish high-heeled black pumps, ultra modern tortoise shell glasses, and had rich, shiny, thick auburn hair cut in a sleek bob. She looked sharp and professional. She looked happy.
I don't know why, but this brought me a great deal of comfort, and I woke up smiling.
_____
Drive-Bys
If only this were the only explanation for some of the things that pop out of the Princess Mom's mouth. Unfortunately, this tendency to say the first thing that comes to mind has been true for her entire life. Only now she has an excuse.
The Princess Mom tactful? Um, no.
Unless you think, "Oh! I see you have a new pimple on your nose," announced in the middle of a dinner at an elegant restaurant -- and while entertaining guests -- is tactful.
(A tip of the cap to Jeff Goldstein.)
_____
On a much more highbrow note, a colleague of mine, Bruce Abramson, will be discussing his book Digital Phoenix on WILL-AM public radio's Focus 580 this Thursday (September 15th) at 11:30 a.m. The show will be streamcast. Go here for more information.
Update: The date is now up in the air, due to the Roberts hearings.
_____
The Princess Mom tactful? Um, no.
Unless you think, "Oh! I see you have a new pimple on your nose," announced in the middle of a dinner at an elegant restaurant -- and while entertaining guests -- is tactful.
(A tip of the cap to Jeff Goldstein.)
_____
On a much more highbrow note, a colleague of mine, Bruce Abramson, will be discussing his book Digital Phoenix on WILL-AM public radio's Focus 580 this Thursday (September 15th) at 11:30 a.m. The show will be streamcast. Go here for more information.
Update: The date is now up in the air, due to the Roberts hearings.
_____
Traveling Companions
My friend Steve Dale emailed to tell me about a benefit he's co-sponsoring to aid companion animals affected by Hurricane Katrina.
Steve and the Chicago Veterinary Medical Association are celebrating Mardi Growl: Chicago Lends a Paw...benefiting a new building fund for the devastated LA SPCA (the primary shelter in New Orleans) and also the AVMF (Vets who respond to disasters):
Time: 6:00 p.m.
Date: Wednesday September 21, 2005
Location: House of Blues Hotel, 333 North Dearborn, Chicago, IL
Live music
Hors d'ouerves
Raffle
Donation: $25/person; $5/pet
Not a Chicagoan? Then I hope you hold a similar benefit wherever you live...San Diego, Kansas City, New York....whatever city it is - Mardi Growl: San Diego, Kansas City...whatever. Lend A Paw!
If you're in the Chicago area, please come!
No matter where you live, you can contribute. Go to http://www.cvma.org/ or write a check to the Hurricane Katrina/Chicago Veterinary Medical Association, P.O. Box 5017, Oak Brook, IL 60522. Or check out Steve's website, http://www.petworldradio.net/
_____
Steve and the Chicago Veterinary Medical Association are celebrating Mardi Growl: Chicago Lends a Paw...benefiting a new building fund for the devastated LA SPCA (the primary shelter in New Orleans) and also the AVMF (Vets who respond to disasters):
Time: 6:00 p.m.
Date: Wednesday September 21, 2005
Location: House of Blues Hotel, 333 North Dearborn, Chicago, IL
Live music
Hors d'ouerves
Raffle
Donation: $25/person; $5/pet
Not a Chicagoan? Then I hope you hold a similar benefit wherever you live...San Diego, Kansas City, New York....whatever city it is - Mardi Growl: San Diego, Kansas City...whatever. Lend A Paw!
If you're in the Chicago area, please come!
No matter where you live, you can contribute. Go to http://www.cvma.org/ or write a check to the Hurricane Katrina/Chicago Veterinary Medical Association, P.O. Box 5017, Oak Brook, IL 60522. Or check out Steve's website, http://www.petworldradio.net/
_____
Rubber-Necking
The Fake Doctor had me in absolute stitches here. Case Study 3 was the one that tipped me over the edge...
_____
_____
Drive-Bys
Posts like this are the reason this guy will have a permanent place on my blogroll.
_____
Quotes from one of my biggest comic heroes. Just bring back Calvin and Hobbes, okay, Bill? I miss them both like crazy.
_____
Most excellent! This kind of "roll-up-the-sleeves-and-help-ourselves" attitude is a wonderful thing to see.
_____
_____
Quotes from one of my biggest comic heroes. Just bring back Calvin and Hobbes, okay, Bill? I miss them both like crazy.
_____
Most excellent! This kind of "roll-up-the-sleeves-and-help-ourselves" attitude is a wonderful thing to see.
_____
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