Leslie's Omnibus
Showing posts with label in memorium. Show all posts
Showing posts with label in memorium. Show all posts

In Memorium

I just saw the news that Brian Jacques...

... author of the Redwall series...

... passed away this last weekend.
Jacques was a milk delivery man when he wrote the first Redwall story for children at the Royal Wavertree School for the Blind in Liverpool, one of the stops on his route. The book's hero was a timid mouse named Matthias who found the courage to protect his home, Redwall Abbey.

"I wanted to write something visual that I could read to the children," Jacques said in an interview published on the website of publisher Random House....

He said he chose animals as his characters because they were more popular with his target audience, kids aged 9 to 15. His inspirations included the books he read as a child, such as Kenneth Grahame's "The Wind in the Willows," H. Rider Haggard's "King Solomon's Mines" and the "Iliad" and the "Odyssey."

"A dirty rat, a sly fox, a slippery snake, an heroic mouse, a homely mouse, a friendly badger ... these are all prevalent in the folk tales of Europe and they suit the medieval setting well," Jacques said.
His books are magical (I think I've read all but the last two), and I intend to read every one of them to Mr. Monkey Toes as soon as he's big enough.

Thank you for every second of pleasure your books brought, Mr. Jacques. Thank you for incredible characters, especially my beloved Baby Dumble. Godspeed, sir.
Leslie

Bus Fumes

I haven't commented at all on the Arizona tragedy because I've been waiting for all the facts to come in about what really happened there before expressing an opinion.

In the meantime, I've heard an awful lot of people on both ends of the political spectrum taking vicious swipes at their opposites and then self-righteously calling for more civility in our political rhetoric.

It's downright embarrassing for the rest of the world to see us showing our collective asses this way.

As for myself, although my politics usually differ from both of the following columnists, for once I whole-heartedly agree with both.

First, Richard Roeper:
Read Loughner’s rantings: “I can’t trust the current government because...the government is implying mind control on the people by controlling grammar. No! I won’t pay debt with a currency that’s not backed by gold and silver! No! I won’t trust in God!”

Watch the video in which Loughner, wearing a trash bag, a hoodie and a bizarre mask, appears to “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” by Drowning Pool and burns the American flag before leaving the viewer with this message: “I want you never fearing of wrongful incrimination by local police [cult leaders].”

His favorite books: everything from Animal Farm to The Wizard of Oz to One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest to Mein Kampf to the Communist Manifesto.

What are we to glean from all this? That heated rhetoric from the right led to the shootings? Huh?

How about this: He’s a nutjob. A twisted, sick mind that exploded. All the back and forth about heated political rhetoric, all the attempts to capitalize on this tragedy, won’t change that.
Too right.

Next, Neil Steinberg:
The motivations of the shooter are irrelevant. It is OUR motivations we should examine and understand. The reaction to the shootings reminds us how political extremism saps our humanity. It’s the same dynamic that allows young men to strap on explosives and go blow themselves up in crowded markets — the trumping of tender feeling by delusional political obsession. You would not, if it were your wife shot in the head in Tucson, flutter your fingers on the keyboard and wax snarky about Obamacare. You would not, if it were your father, murdered in a grocery store parking lot, carp about Sarah Palin’s rhetorical excesses. You would not, if it were your third-grader, your darling daughter killed on a Saturday morning because she was in the student council and wanted to meet a real congresswoman, pontificate about our cherished Second Amendment rights. The victims had blood to shed — these online observers seem cold, bloodless and inhuman.

Press your fingers, not into the carnage, seeking something crimson to underscore your point, but against your own neck. Find a pulse, if you have one, and then try to conduct yourself accordingly.
Thank you both for reminding us what's important and what's not, gentlemen.

We'll have time enough to point fingers once there's been an investigation and the truth of the motivation behind the shooter's actions becomes known.

In the meantime, howzabout we honor the memories of all six of the victims? Howzabout we honor the incredibly brave actions of the men and woman that took the shooter down? Howzabout we pray for all those folks, names not yet revealed, who were shot and wounded?

Howzabout we honor the memory of one incredibly cool little girl by honoring her wishes today and every day?
“I hope you help those in need,” reads the message on the page before Christina’s picture. “I hope you see rainbows.”

On the page after her photo, the message reads, “I hope you know all of the words to the National Anthem and sing it with your hand over your heart. I hope you jump in rain puddles.”
Enough with the hypocritical angry-making already.

Shame on us. Shame on ALL of us.
Leslie

In Memorium

It's a bad, bad day for firefighters in this town:
Two firefighters died after a wall collapsed during a 3-11 alarm fire at an abandoned South Side commercial building this morning, authorities said. Fourteen other firefighters were injured, including two who were trapped with the ones who died.

The firefighters killed were identified as Edward Stringer and Corey Ankum.
What makes it worse is it comes on the 100th anniversary of the Chicago Union Stockyard Fire.

God bless all who put themselves on the line for others every single day. Please say a prayer for speedy healing for the wounded, and for comfort to the family, friends and coworkers of each and every one of these brave me.
Leslie

Bus Fumes

You know, I've never had any respect for Jesse Jackson, but his fame-whoring antics at Ron Santo's funeral have shown him at his most appalling.

Although he was not speaking, is not a member of his family, was never a teammate and never worked with him at WGN Radio, good ol' Jesse-The-Fame-Whore managed to get himself the prime front row and center seat that should have gone to someone -- anyone -- other than him.

Worse, as the video goes on, you can watch Ol' Fame Whore check out the camera angles and make sure he gets to glad-hand the notables.

Fortunately, the commentators and others seem to have gone out of their way not to give him the attention he so obviously desires.

What a complete and utter putz.
Leslie

In Memorium


It's a sad, sad day in Chicago for Cub fans. Why? Ron Santo passed away last night.

There may have been players better than him, but not many and none who loved the game more.

There may have been retired players who also turned color commentators, but none funnier... or more insightful... or more passionate.

And there is nor was a bigger fan of the Cubbies than Ron Santo.

I'll be listening to WGN Radio today, where I listened to him so many times. I learned to love baseball by listening to Pat and Ron.

Now I hope that someone in the Baseball Hall of Fame is paying attention. He should have been inducted long ago.


God speed, Ronnie. You'll be missed, and I'll think of you every time I hear the Cubs on the radio.

In the meantime, I dropped a donation over at JDRF, and I'll do it again on Opening Day in your memory.
_____

Update: This is one weekend when I wish I had a television here at home, instead of just the radio. I'm a loyal WGN listener, and it's been all Santo all the time. WGN is a talk radio station, and one of the beautiful and heartbreaking things they've done this weekend is allow Santo's friends and fans to call and in talk about their memories of the man. Grown men and women have openly wept when talking about how he touched each of their lives. Seriously, the man was and is loved in this town.
Leslie

In Memorium

Another one of my childhood heroes has passed away:
Pioneering TV cartoon artist Alexander Anderson Jr., who created Rocky the flying squirrel and Bullwinkle the moose, has died. He was 90. Anderson's son Terry tells the Los Angeles Times his father died at a Carmel nursing home on Friday after battling Alzheimer's disease.
Crusader Rabbit:



Rocky & Bullwinkle:



Dudley Do-Right:



They just don't make 'em like that any more, more's the pity.

Thanks for years and years of enjoyment, Mr. Anderson!
Leslie

Drive-Bys

Found on a stroll down Michigan Avenue last Saturday:



More autumn pretties from the Lurie Garden:



_____

When parents not only show an interest in their kids, but a commitment to their education, the school system really should pay attention:
Chicago Public Schools agreed Monday to lease a field house next to Whittier Elementary School to a community group for $1 a year and build a library inside the school.

The action comes as a group of Pilsen parents continued a sit-in to gain control of the building and convert it into a library to prevent it from being razed.
The CPS turned off the heat and the water in the building during night time temperature drops down into the 30's and 40's. The parents hung in there anyway, and the school board was forced to turn them both back on.

I'm 100% in support of these parents. God bless 'em every one for not backing down.
_____

Bomba the Jungle Boy bit the big one? Oh, no! He was a Sunday afternoon favorite of mine growing up!


_____

Sweet Potato Soup with Maple and Bacon? That sounds an awful lot like yummy, yummy comfort food to me!
_____

Just how out of sync with the working public are government employee benefits? Go here to find out. Guaranteed to make your head explode.
_____
Leslie

Drive-Bys

Giggle of the Day:

For my pal.

Her? Yep.

Me? Yep.

Just sayin'...
_____

I love Sharon Montrose's animal prints in her Etsy shop (and I bought two of them, too). Now I'm drooling over her bigger prints here. Access to really cool critters and cameras out the kazoo -- the chick has everything.
_____

Quote of the Day, Part 1:

_____

Oooooo! Maplewood Smoked Bacon - Horseradish Dip. I'm making it this weekend, and I'm not sharing, either.
_____

Once again Obama's team prepares to do an end run around the Constitution. Tell me again why voting for that guy was a good idea? It's a pretty sad state of affairs when the leader of this nation regularly turns up his nose at the laws he swore on Lincoln's bible to protect and uphold.
_____

Like the Blagoviator, this guy talks way too much. Then again, there's something to be said for a man who only opens his mouth long enough to switch feet...
_____

Quote of the Day, Part 2:
Someone needs to learn to watch where they're putting that thing.
_____

Give them free healthcare but require them to make an appointment to get it and what happens?
In the first five years of its controversial Urban Health Initiative, the University of Chicago Medical Center has successfully steered thousands of people with non-urgent ailments from its emergency room to other South Side hospitals and clinics that could serve as a "medical home."

But a bigger challenge has been getting people who schedule appointments through the U. of C. program to keep them.

Since the initiative was launched in 2005 with help from first lady Michelle Obama, then U. of C.'s vice president for community and external affairs, only about 35 percent of the almost 16,000 appointments made as of January had been kept, hospital executives said Thursday. [Emphasis mine.]
Lovely. Just lovely.
_____

Jihad Gene says, "It's Friday! Let's Dance with the Air Force!"

Alrighty, then. Everybody Dance Now!



Yabu says "I Caught Her"

And you?

Update:

Pat Hickey is making all kinds of Friday Night Noise!

Peedee reminds you that we all need somebody to lean on.

Jerry's taking a politically incorrect trip down memory lane.

Eric congratulates Dax on his promotion... then tells him to "Get a Haircut".
_____

One More Thing:

Go read this letter from Afghanistan, and be sure to have at least one hankie handy. You're gonna need it.
Leslie

Drive-Bys



Can you say "news junkie"? Yup. That's me. Go take the test here.

(A tip of the cap to Harper, who is informed like moi!)
_____

Giggle of the Day: Go here for a little naughty humor at the expense of a royal and a Rolling Stone. It's worth the trip!
_____

funny pictures of cats with captions
see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Name that breed!
_____

To Donald Mills and his version of how to plan a memorial service...
There won’t be any music at my service. This is a memorial not a rock concert for Christ’s sake. I don’t need people waving lighters in the air or doing super-tokes to the strains of “Knocking on Heaven’s Door” or “Only the Good Die Young.”

If there must be background noise, I want a Halloween sound effects tape full of chain rattling, howling wind and unsettled moaning – it’s dramatic and much more in keeping with the occasion.
... HUZZAH, sir!
_____

Ear Worm of the Day:



Why? Who the hell knows???
Leslie

In The Rear-View Mirror

Eleven years. Jeebus! He never saw my daughter... or my nieces... or his two great granddaughters.

He missed my brother's wedding -- the one that stuck -- and he never got to walk my sister down the aisle.

I can't go into a German or Bohemian restaurant without thinking of him, and how he'd call me up the minute The Princess Mom left town to visit my Fairy Godmother so that we could go out and eat liver dumpling soup and Schnitzel ala Holstein and more artery-clogging comfort food washed down with frosty steins of lager.

I'm glad he missed The Princess Mom's passing -- it would have gutted him.

And I'm glad he's missing out on today's politics... although he might have ended up running for local office if only to have a hand in straightening out some of the fiscal mess. As it is, though, I'm quite sure the little plastic urn containing what's left of his ashes is spinning like a top under the deceptively peaceful sod of Naperville Cemetery.

But I'm so, so sorry he missed so much that would have pleased him. I'm sorry that the girls will never know him for the wonderfully caring, loyal, stubborn, hard-headed, quick-witted, smart, savvy, loving brother, husband, father and grandfather that he was.

When I have big life choices to make, I still have conversations, out loud, with my father. I can still hear his voice calling me "Toots" and steering me in the right direction.

I miss you every day, Daddy.



Leslie

Sunday Schedule



Why in the world am I fighting turning the A/C on??? It's freaking HAWT, not to mention humid with a capital HOOOO.

Yesterday and the day before were gorgeous -- cool, sunny, breezy. Perfect sleeping weather. I want that back right now.

(Yes, I'm still sick and unreasonable. Why do you ask?)
_____

A Chicago Bucket List? I can check 48 items. To personalize that lislt I'd take a few things off (e.g., Bike the Drive) and add a few things to balance (e.g., an architectural walking tour). I guess I'd better get moving!
_____

Quote of the Day:
"A patriotic song is an emotion." -- Irving Berlin

Yes, indeed, it is.
_____

The Princess Mom met Mrs. Schmich at the Pearly Gates and they are exchanging travel stories right about now, I'm thinking.
There comes a time in most lives when travel truly is impossible. But that time may not be as soon as you imagine. If you can, give your parents the gift of travel. It will be a gift to yourself.
Yes. I can't imagine not having taken all the wonderful trips I took with the Princess Mom when neither my brother or sister would go.

I still miss my own mom a lot... and my heart goes out to columnist Mary Schmich. It doesn't matter how old they are, how sick they are, how much their memory has slipped, how ready they are to go -- it's still a punch in the gut.
_____

Popcorn Shrimp (because it's infectious):

_____

More fun headlines today:
Soldier/politicians facing increased scrutiny
Congressional challenger blasts 'hair-splitting' over military record
Here's what I think the simple response should be: "Oh? And tell me about your military service, sir/ma'am. Which branch of the military? How many tours of duty? Yes, I thought so. *sniff*"
_____

Best post title in a long, long time.
Leslie

In The Rear-View Mirror

Joanie reminded me that it's been four years since Rob Smith exited this world.

Bowlegs. Crusty Old Cracker. Old Crankypants. Acidman. Those were some of the nicer nicknames used to describe him, and he relished every one.

He could be unbelievably mule-headed. Witness this three part interview with Rob.

Did he know damned well his was risking his job by blogging about it?

Yep.

Did his company have every right to fire him for it?

Yep.

If you were starting a blog today, would he recommend you not write about your employer without your employer's express permission?

Yep.

Would he, on the other hand, do anything differently?


He was the same way when it came to friendships, wimmen (his word, not mine), fatherhood, his ex-wife, music, politics -- the man lived to yank some kind of visceral reaction out of his friends, family and readers, and it didn't matter whether it was a good reaction or bad, as long as it was passionate and real. If he could wind your watch a bit too tight, he was a happy man.

Everything I wrote about him here still holds true.

I send him a psychic raspberry every time he floats up out of the either to tap me on the shoulder and remind me that he didn't just exist -- he lived. He has a funny form of immortality.

Sometimes his unreasonable side rears it's head from the Great Beyond.

Sometimes something pops into my brain that brings him instantly to mind and puts a great big grin on my face.

Call me nuts, but I have a sneaking suspicion that Old Crankypants had a heavenly hand in outing the info that Global Warming data was made up out of whole cloth. ("We're all gonna die!")

Sometimes historic events bring him clearly into my mind's eye.

His spirit inhabits every blogmeet where more than one Blown-Eyed or BlownStar blogger attends.

He reaches out of my Site Meter to tap me on the shoulder from time to time. I'll be really sad when I don't get a referral from his blogroll any more.

It's not just me he visits in dreams.

The cats are correct, he was no ordinary hooman.

He is missed... and he is living in on in the hearts of his friends. Go wander the dusty streets of the Gutrumbles ghost town and tell him I said, "Hey."

Leslie

Down Memory Lane

Things about Darling Daddy:

He loved Big Band music, especially Glen Miller...



... Tommy Dorsey...



... and Benny Goodman.



His favorite actresses were Grace Kelly...



... and Veronica Lake (his No. 1).



His favorite song and his favorite singer?



Sentimental? You bet he was, and, almost 11 years since he's been gone, I still miss him terribly.

Make sure you tell your father you love him today and every day
Leslie

Drive-Bys

Quote of the Day:
'The rise of the compensation culture over the last ten years is a real concern, as is the way health and safety rules are sometimes applied.

'We need a sensible new approach that makes clear these laws are intended to protect people, not overwhelm businesses with red tape.'

Mad props to the first one of you who can identify the speaker without peeking.
_____

For those of you who think the recent efforts by Turkish ships to break the Israeli naval blockade is a good idea and that those poor Gazans would be starving to death without the Turkish aid -- go here, noodle around the site, watch the video and then come back and talk to me.
_____
It seems to me that the crux of the problem is that we keep catching these rambunctious rascals and then just sending them back to Mexico so they can try again. Now I’m no Lou Dobbs but a wiser idea might be to round these folks up, pop them in a cargo plane and then parachute them into Belgium under cover of darkness. And if the Belgians take issue and kick up a stink, we can always try the Swiss instead. They’re a tolerant lot and dandy yodellers too.

Those Mexican lads may be able to hop a fence but I don’t expect they can swim the Atlantic. And if they can – I’d say they’ve damn well earned a green card.

Donald Mills for President in 2012? I'd vote for him!
_____

Here's another example of Illinois' taxpayers getting told once again to "bend over and grab your ankles":
Local officials acknowledge that a giant sewage-cooking machine in west suburban Stickney is a waste of money, but they have decided to move ahead anyway with a project that could cost Chicago and Cook County taxpayers $217 million.

Once billed as an innovative way to turn the region's sewage sludge into fertilizer, the project is a decade behind schedule.
And you wonder where Obama learned it?
_____

It's sad to see that another of my childhood icons has passed away:





And one of the Princess Mom's Sunday brunch favorites was Jimmy Dean sausage patty sandwiches with lettuce, tomato and mayo on a burger bun. (None of that sausage biscuit business for Yankees like us!)
_____

Winter is coming!



Geek girl here got goosebumps. I'll admit it.
_____

Giggle of the Day:

funny pictures of cats with captions
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
Leslie

I Salute You

History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid. (Dwight David Eisenhower inaugural address, 20 Jan. 1953)
Never forget those who were neither weak nor timid in the face of horrendous odds:


Bravery is the capacity to perform properly even when scared half to death. (Omar N. Bradley)
It’s the unconquerable soul of man, not the nature of the weapon he uses, that insures victory. (George S. Patton)
Leslie

Drive-Bys

Giggle of the Day:

Madonna
see more Lol Celebs
_____

Don't faint on me here. I know I'm the last person in the world to stick up for the current president, but, in this case I agree with Richard Roeper:
When Bill Clinton was president, there were some people who truly believed NOTHING he did was right.

Any decision Clinton made, any position he took, any policy he endorsed -- wrong.

When George W. Bush was president, there were some people who truly believed nothing Bush did was right.

Now that Barack Obama's president . . .

Well. You know the rest....

As has been well documented by now, this isn't the first time a president didn't participate in a ceremony at Arlington on Memorial Day. For various reasons, Ronald Reagan, George H.W. Bush (a true war hero), Bill Clinton and George W. Bush each were away from Washington D.C. on Memorial Day at least one time during their respective presidencies.

Not that these historical truisms will deter the Obama naysayers. Never mind what those other presidents did -- THIS president was wrong in not staying in Washington and going to Arlington!
We have war dead buried across the entire country. Are those not buried at Arlington less worthy of the presence of a president on Memorial Day?

If you're going to be mad at Obama, there are plenty of legitimate reasons. This, however, is not one of them. Just because the other side did pointed fingers at the bad, bad man when Bush was in office... or Clinton was in office... is not a good enough reason to jump on that stupid bandwagon. Give it a rest, please.
_____

Scary, but true:
At least two "works" bombs were left in the yards of York Township residents overnight, creating a dangerous situation since the pop bottle bombs quickly detonate, police said.

Washtenaw County Sheriff's Deputy Keith Mansell sent a warning to township residents this morning, urging them not to pick up any bottles that have liquid in them or appear swollen.

Mansell said he was dispatched to a home on Bemis Road near the Saline city limits this morning for an unexploded pop bottle bomb. When he arrived, he discovered a 20-ounce bottle in the yard, moved it from the front yard, and it detonated 30 seconds later, he said in the e-mail.

Mansell then checked other yards and located a second one a few doors down from the first one, he said. He moved that one, and it also detonated, the e-mail said.

The homeowner told Mansell she noticed the bottle and planned to move it when she got her morning paper. "There was a high probability that this would have detonated in her hand/face while she carried it to the trash," Mansell said in the e-mail. (From http://www.annarbor.com, 4/18/10.)
Similar incidents occurred in Methuen, MA.

If you find a plastic bottle with dark liquid in it in your yard or on your parkway, DO NOT pick it up. Call 911 and report it. Better to be cautious than to face this:



They're easily manufactured, and it's second nature to just pick up trash. Warn your family and friends, will you?

(Snopes verified. A tip of the cap to Livey!)
_____

It sometimes gets disheartening trying to vote for the best candidate in this state. For instance, we've got Mark Kirk, who embellished his military record, versus Alexi Giannoulias, who never served in the military and has a terrible record of money management as our current choices for U.S. Senator.

Plan B, please?
_____

Ear Worm of the Day:
Leslie

In Memorium

On Memorial Day, I hold dear in my memory all those who have given their lives in service to this country... and their dear ones who supported them, and miss them still.

From General Orders No. 11, which formalized the recognition of May 30th as the day to remember our war dead -- and their families:
"We are organized, comrades, as our regulations tell us, for the purpose among other things, 'of preserving and strengthening those kind and fraternal feelings which have bound together the soldiers, sailors, and marines who united to suppress the late rebellion.' What can aid more to assure this result than cherishing tenderly the memory of our heroic dead, who made their breasts a barricade between our country and its foes? Their lives were the reveille of freedom to a race in chains, and their deaths the tattoo of rebellious tyranny in arms.

"We should guard their graves with sacred vigilance. All that the consecrated wealth and taste of the nation can add to their adornment and security is but a fitting tribute to the memory of her slain defenders. Let no wanton foot tread rudely on such hallowed grounds. Let pleasant paths invite the coming and going of reverent visitors and fond mourners. Let no vandalism of avarice or neglect, no ravages of time testify to the present or to the coming generations that we have forgotten as a people the cost of a free and undivided republic.

"If other eyes grow dull, other hands slack, and other hearts cold in the solemn trust, ours shall keep it well as long as the light and warmth of life remain to us.

"Let us, then, at the time appointed gather around their sacred remains and garland the passionless mounds above them with the choicest flowers of spring-time; let us raise above them the dear old flag they saved from his honor; let us in this solemn presence renew our pledges to aid and assist those whom they have left among us a sacred charge upon a nation's gratitude, the soldier's and sailor's widow and orphan."
_____

I give thanks for Illinois Guardsman Sgt. Rick Davis, who keesp the memories of fallen comrades alive:
For a career military man such as Davis, Memorial Day always has been a respected holiday, but this year, he said, it is a time to reflect on his four comrades killed in March 2009. Three were fellow Delta Company soldiers in the Illinois Army National Guard based in Woodstock. The fourth was an Air Force staff sergeant from Arizona.

On Monday, Davis will walk alongside relatives of some of the fallen soldiers in a parade in Woodstock. Other relatives will join President Barack Obama at a ceremony at Abraham Lincoln National Cemetery in Elwood. They include Paul and Barbara Abeyta, parents of Sgt. Christopher Abeyta, 23, who filled in for Davis as commander of the Humvee that day and is buried at Lincoln....

For Davis, the place to seek solitude is at a granite memorial for the slain soldiers erected in the front yard of the National Guard Amory in Woodstock, where he works as the supply officer. Sometimes, Davis said, he sits at the base of the monument with the engraved faces of Abeyta; Spc. Robert Weinger, 24, of Round Lake Beach; and Spc. Norman Cain III, 22, of Mount Morris staring over his shoulders.

"I'm the one that gets to wake up every morning," Davis said. "It would be an injustice to the memory of the four men who were in that truck if I were to just sit around and not function.

"So every day, I ask myself, 'How can I make a difference today?' I don't take anything for granted anymore."
_____

I give thanks for the life of Officer Thomas Wortham IV, who battled enemies both in Afghanistan and in the streets of Chatham.
_____

I will honor the grief of Gold Star families:
Some people inadvertently contribute to the heartache with awkward talk of closure or a tone-deafness about the significance of Memorial Day.

On this somber holiday, here's what three parents said they want you to know about their sadness: what helps, what hurts and why it's important to remember.

Jim Frazier, father of Staff Sgt. Jacob Frazier, 24, Illinois Air National Guard

"Don't ever use the word 'closure' with me," said Frazier, who lives in Lake in the Hills. "I once threw a reporter out who used that word. It's simply a hole in your heart that is always there … and you learn to live with it."

That was just the first of some well-meaning but clumsy gestures after Jake was killed in southern Afghanistan seven years ago.

Another occurred Memorial Day 2003 — just two months after burying Jake, who grew up in St. Charles and graduated from Burlington Central High School. Jake's parents found themselves on a parade float going down State Street in Chicago. The jarring contrast between the happy, smiling crowds and their own sadness left an indelible imprint.

"When it was over, I said, 'Thanks for having us, but don't ever make anyone sit on a float again.'" It's one reason why he has been involved in the city's parade committee ever since.

He explains his activism this way: "I lost a boy … I can't do anything for him, but I sure as hell can do something for the other young men and women in harm's way. … It's the way recovering addicts help recovering addicts. They're the only ones that understand … and I seek out people who have gone through the same thing."

So what expressions of sympathy are truly helpful?

"The kindest thing you can do is just say, 'Tell me about him,' because if you don't talk, you get sick. I've had some terrible times after Jake was killed, but for me, being of service is the way to go. I'd hope Jake would say, 'I'm proud of you, Pops.'"

Kirk Morris, father of Marine Pfc. Geoffrey Morris, 19

Geoffrey Morris was a 19-year-old Marine when he was killed by a grenade six years ago in Iraq. His father's voice still catches describing all the activities they shared, such as fishing and pheasant-hunting.

"The one thing I don't do is play pool anymore. I have a beautiful table downstairs, but I just can't do it."

Like Frazier, Kirk Morris marched in Chicago's parade on Saturday. Still, he wrestles with ambivalent feelings on Memorial Day.

"It's one of the most important days of the year to me, but it's also unsettling," said Morris, a Gurnee village trustee.

"I don't think that the majority of Americans get it," he said. "It's about remembering those who have fallen. ... I don't want to diminish our veterans, but that's why we have Veterans Day. This day is about all those who never got their tomorrows."

Since Geoffrey's death, he has kicked his activism into high gear, including an unsuccessful run for Congress, a fishing tournament to benefit military families and maintaining a Facebook page dedicated to these "Heroes of Freedom." But he'll call you out if you ask if lending a hand is a means of coping.

"It doesn't help me recover one bit," he snaps. "In fact, it makes things worse because I see so many families in pain. But families have so many questions … and I saw a need and I filled it."

He also has a long list of expressions of sympathy that rub salt in the wound. The worst: "When someone says, 'They're in a better place.' I just want to yell, 'Are you frickin' kidding me?' He was 19 years old. His place was with his daddy.

"There are no magic words, so don't even try coming up with them. Instead, if you see someone serving or a Gold Star license plate, just put a note on their windshield and say, 'Thank you.'"

Sandra Miller, mother of Army Pvt. DeWayne White, 27

The yellow ribbons — faded and tattered — are still wrapped around the trees on Sandra Miller's front yard in Country Club Hills. She can't seem to take them down. It's just one of the many ways she remembers her son DeWayne White, one of three U.S. soldiers killed by a roadside bomb near Baiji, Iraq, in 2007.

Another is the prayer box that she keeps on her bedroom dresser. Every time a member of the U.S. military dies in battle, she writes his or her name on a slip of paper, adding it to the box and praying for the family.

"There's an awful lot of pain in there," she said.

But while Miller, a deeply religious woman, does her part to tend to the legacy of her son, she is baffled that so many Americans do not recognize or even think about his sacrifice, especially on Memorial Day. Even family members, she said, are too busy to mark the occasion, leaving her alone in her sorrow.

"It's not about having a barbecue. It's a day for remembering. … And what's up with all the sales?" she said. "If one TV channel could just put up the photos of all the fallen for just one day, that would make a huge difference."

Miller quit her job in the mortgage business after her son's death and hasn't returned to work. She also stopped painting because "DeWayne loved art," she said. But she hasn't stopped worrying. Another son, DeShaun — three years younger than his brother — is in Hawaii, about to be deployed for a third tour of duty in Iraq.

"All I asked is that he bring back some sand because that's the last place my son touched."

Like Morris, she wishes more people would acknowledge the Gold Star, a symbol used by those who have lost loved ones in battle, which she wears proudly on her lapel.

"Most people have no idea what it's for. When I tell them, they usually hang their head, like they don't know what to say. Just give me a hug. Tell me that you appreciate that my son died for our freedom. Just make it count for something."
_____


_____

Don't take it for granted. Make it count for something.
_____

Leslie

Sunday Schedule

I had another nocturnal visitation last night. This time, my spirit guide was this old friend. The dream again involved water and a journey. And Diana wasn't blind, but she was still as delightfully sunny and outgoing as I remember her, and she chattered away as she led me to where she wanted me to go. Where was that? I don't know. It was more about the journey than the destination.

Two days in a row, I've awakened refreshed and happy.
_____

I sure wish I could pass a little bit of that peace I'm feeling onto the Wortham family, who laid a truly good man to rest yesterday:
While serving in Iraq, Wortham led soldiers over dangerous routes and worked with his mother to get school supplies for Iraqi children. In Englewood, he policed an impoverished and at times desperate place on the busy night shift. And in Chatham, his neighborhood, he defended the safe and loving environment where he was raised against encroaching violence by leading a community group.

On Friday, from those who hold the highest offices in this state to the sister who played with him on those Chatham streets, a promise was made in Wortham's name: Nobody is giving up.
I sure hope not, for his memory's sake.
_____

There's another special group that honors Memorial Day here in Chicago, and it's not who you think -- it's circus veterans. Go here for the whole cool story.
_____
Leslie

Traveling Companions

My dear friend Miss Nancy has lost her darling companion, Miss Spitfire. I trust Brain and my own beloved Divine Miss Marilyn were waiting for her when she crossed the Rainbow Bridge.

I also trust she'll keep the Heavenly garden pest-free until Miss Nancy joins her.
Leslie

Drive-Bys


These things ROCK. Seriously. Rock.
_____

Giggle of the Day:

I
moar funny pictures

(Picture sent by my lovely Son-In-Law.)
_____

Ken Lammers has a dandy review of the Kindle up at CrimLaw, and I agree with him on just about every level, especially this one:
If Kindle was less than $100 the iPad wouldn't even be a serious competitor.
Then again, I've maintained for a while now that the device ought to be a loss-leader instead of a profit center.

I also think a lot of people got them as Christmas gifts this year (just like me), as I'm spotting a lot more of them on my commute to and from work each day. If you're alone anywhere and you want to strike up a conversation, all you have to do is haul your Kindle out and someone will be asking you about it in minutes.

I like mine so much that I finally convinced my financial advisor that Amazon was a good buy right now... and, after she did the research and realized that not being back-lit makes it really easy on the eyes, she gave in and bought me some stock. (Which, BTW, is doing quite nicely.)

If what you want is a reader that you can use for email or simple web searches in a pinch, this is is the doohickey for you. If, on the other hand, you want it for gaming, music, videos, and the like, go get on the iPad wait list. Personally, I think there's plenty of room for both devices on the market.
_____

Epitaph:


Whoever wrote that lovely obit really knew loved that man. (No, I've never heard of nor met the man before. That first line just caught my eye as I went scrolling past the obits today.)
_____

Question of the Day:

_____

Via Dr. Helen, I tripped over this post questioning whether men are better bloggers than women. Author Susannah Breslin then slots female bloggers into three categories:
For the most part, I’ve found, women bloggers fall into three categories: “mommybloggers,” “ladybloggers,” and “women who blog like men.”
Phooey. (I love that word.)

Then she says,
I’m a woman who, more often than not, blogs like a man. Sure, I’ve sometimes been known to tread into the dreaded territory of “feelings” and “relationships,” posts I often regret having posted. I’m far more comfortable weighing in on topics and in ways I venture Wente would deem more “male”: current events, heated debates, racy subjects. I blog like a man.
That is the most sexist bunch of claptrap I've heard in a while, as it insinuates that if you engage your brain, you are acting like a man -- thus, if you feel or intuit, you are feminine (and stupid!); if you posit or use logic, you are masculine (and smart!).

Who believes that line of horse hockey in this day and age?
What the blogosphere needs is fewer Martha Stewarts and more Danica Patricks, more real debate and less positing women as the victims of a patriarchal society gone bloggy-wild, more men that blog like women and more women who blog like men.
Nah. What the blogosphere needs more of is writers who know and are comfortable with their own voice, regardless of age, gender, color or creed, and who are passionate about their subject(s). Really, it's those things that make a blog readable.

As for those three rigid slots she sees for women bloggers? I suggest she visit a BlogHer conference just once, and that would peel her eyeballs opened as to just how vast the borgaschmord of women bloggers is and how diverse their subject matters.
_____

Whoohoo! It's warm outside.


_____
Leslie