Leslie's Omnibus
Showing posts with label quotes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label quotes. Show all posts

Rubber-Necking

 CB: [T]he main thing I feel bad for, it gives every black and white person who is racist a platform to vent their ignorance. 
That's the thing that bothers me the most because I watched this trial closely and I watch all these people are television talking about it. A lot of people have a hidden agenda. You know, they want their racist views, whether they are white or black --
MB: The bias comes out.
CB: The bias, it definitely comes out. It was a bad situation, we all lost.
Who gave this incredibly insightful interview?  Check it out in the comments...
Leslie

Spit-Take

Quote of the Day: 
"If I ever get a tumor, I'm naming it after him."
Whites is my favorite new source of the giggles.
Leslie

Engine Knock

Quote of the Day:
"Bitch needs to pull out his payroll sheet and erase the name of the ho who keeps buying his wigs at Leonard Nimoy's yard sale."
Nearly peed myself laughing!
Leslie

Drive-Bys

If I had one of each of these Jessica Kagan Cushman bracelets, I think I'd have all my dating bases covered -- and stylishly so.
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Parenting Done Right, Part I:
'I feel like if you’re going to embarrass me by stealing, I’m gonna show you what it’s like to be embarrassed.




'I work too hard for her to steal, and I’m not gonna have no thief living with me. I refuse to have a thief living with me.'
Right on, Ms. Walker!
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Quote of the Day:
"I think they should just call it what it is. Romance Novels for Twilight Fans. The end."
Scrumptious!
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Blogging, Facebook and Twitter are more than enough for me, but if you've caught the Pinterest bug, you might want to consider this:
When a Pinterest user euphemistically “pins” a “pin” on a “pinboard,” she’s really “copying” a “full-size photograph” to “Pinterest’s servers.” Needless to say, the bright spotlight of copyright law is harshly shining on Pinterest: even a cursory stroll through Pinterest’s various user pinboards reveals that the vast majority of pins are copyrighted works, not in the public domain, and not licensed under Creative Commons or a similar free-to-distribute regime.
If you're using Pinterest, I strongly urge you to read the whole post here.
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Parenting Done Right, Part II:
I have traveled with a 2-year-old dozens of times. It's not fun. However, if I was unable to control my child, I would absolutely expect to be booted off of the plane.

That's one of the problems with society. We expect everyone to make exceptions and to comply to our individual world. NO - there are rules, and there needs to be consideration for the other passengers. Get that tantrum throwing kid off my plane. Lackadaisical parents think everyone else should accommodate them and have more understanding. Call me cold and uncaring, but I've been there, and I work hard to make sure I don't impose my family on your world if you don't want them there, and I think others should too.

It all comes down to this: If you can't control your kid, avoid traveling until you think you have a handle on this whole parenting thing.
Rock on, Mom.
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Ear Worm of the Day:



Just try getting that one out of your head!
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Giggle of the Day:

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Leslie

Drive-Bys

When Chicago's Hull House announced that it was closing, there was a great hue and cry about it being such an icon and providing vital human services.  But, as Dennis Byrne says,
Wait, let me start again. No one more deserves sympathy in these troubled times than the clients these charities serve — the starving, sick, homeless, addicted, despairing and destitute.

I rephrased that because I'm not so sure that the various charities, nonprofits and tax-exempt organizations should escape scrutiny for how well or poorly they do their jobs. The popular assumption is that they are the epitome of goodness and kindness, so just lay off with the scrutiny stuff.

I disagree. They spend our money, whether our contributions (in cash and in kind) or our taxes. They have an obligation, to their clients and us, to operate effectively and efficiently, and not in the shadows created by cloaked financial reporting and apathetic or overly trusting boards of directors, all while blessing themselves with munificent salaries and benefits.
As one who sits on the Board of a 501(c)(3) organization, I completely agree with him.  Go read the whole thing, then be asking questions before you donate your time, goods or money to any philanthropic organization.  Even mine.
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Jimbo of the farookin' great hair and rockin' guitar gets the willies from crocs and gatorsI get the willies at just the description alone of Krokodil:
It is a drug for the poor, and its effects are horrific. It was given its reptilian name because its poisonous ingredients quickly turn the skin scaly. Worse follows. Oleg and Sasha have not been using for long, but Oleg has rotting sores on the back of his neck.

"If you miss the vein, that's an abscess straight away," says Sasha. Essentially, they are injecting poison directly into their flesh. One of their friends, in a neighbouring apartment block, is further down the line.

"She won't go to hospital, she just keeps injecting. Her flesh is falling off and she can hardly move anymore," says Sasha. Photographs of late-stage krokodil addicts are disturbing in the extreme. Flesh goes grey and peels away to leave bones exposed. People literally rot to death.
If that doesn't make your skin crawl, nothing will.
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While I'm on the subject of things that'll give me nightmares for days, there's this news:
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and National Jewish Health in Colorado both have issued a warning about nasal washes after two people have died from using tap water to do their sinus rinse.

Health experts say it’s safe to use nasal washes. It’s not about the rinse, it’s about the water. They warn that a mixture from a faucet could be fatal.
And just what kind of fatal?
Fornof says not to use tap water. It’s because of a brain-eating amoeba called Naegleria fowleri. It’s common in warm rivers and lakes, but if it travels up the nose to the brain it’s usually deadly
.Ooooo! Squicky, squicky, squicky!
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Not only does Siri have problems with thick Scottish accents, apparently she also struggles with Engrish:



And Siri is not the only iPhone app with language issues:
An autocorrected text message, accidentally sent to the wrong number, was the catalyst to a lockdown Wednesday at West Hall middle and high schools.

Just before noon, law enforcement and school officials issued the lockdown after a West Hall community member reported a threatening text message.

The text, saying "gunman be at west hall today," was received and reported to police around 11:30 a.m. But after police tracked the number, they learned the autocorrect feature on the new cellphone changed "gunna" to "gunman."
Yeesh!
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Quote of the Day:
There was no damage to the building, the spokeswoman added.
Thank goodness for small blessings, eh?
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According to Glenn Reynolds, today is "Blogger Appreciation Day."  To all my blogging pals out there, I do appreciate you.  I really do!
Leslie

Drive-Bys

How major media in the U.S. reports the Occupy Wall Street mess:
So enthused about promoting the far-left protests, ABC anchor Diane Sawyer on Monday night's World News championed “the Occupy Wall Street movement” by ludicrously claiming that “as of tonight, it has spread to more than 250 American cities, more than a thousand countries -- every continent but Antarctica.”
How they look at it across the pond:
A very privileged protest: Wearing $300 jeans and from some of the most exclusive schools, the children of the one per cent out for a good time at Occupy Wall Street
Which do you suppose is the more unbiased reporting?
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A "rewind button" for blurry photos? Ooooo! Faster, please! (Yesterday, if I had my druthers.)
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Currently unemployed? Read this article (with an admittedly depressing title), for some good food for thought about how you may be sabotaging your own prospects... and what you can do to change.
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One of the things I love about fall is the return of squashes in great quantity in my local supermarket. This article not only has great descriptions of all the differing varieties, it also has some great recipes for a slow cooker soup and two different stuffed squashes. Yum!
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I was glad that Chris Christie declined to join the current presidential race because I honestly believe that he should at least finish his first full term in office before running for something else. Now that he's come out for Romney, I'm really glad he's not running... because it would have been more of the same thing Mitt's known for.
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Quote of the Day:
"If the candidates are smart, they'll make it be 5, 5, 5, 5, and more 5." -- Ann Althouse
Damn straight, Skippy.
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Teach your children?
With every passing hour, the meeting between Chicago Public Schools officials and the Chicago Teachers Union to discuss longer school days appears less likely.

Last week, CTU President Karen Lewis had said she and her union officers were ready to talk about the district's controversial plan, but suggested union headquarters as a meeting location.

CPS countered by suggesting the two parties meet at a school that has chosen to add 90 minutes to its school day.

And since then, the talks have stalled.

This morning, schools CEO Jean-Claude Brizard suggested Brown Elementary as a meeting site.

CPS officials have not heard back from CTU, said district spokeswoman Becky Carroll. CTU spokeswoman Stephanie Gadlin said she too does not know if a meeting will take place today.
It's called compromise or neutral territory, people, and you ought to learn how to find it. Both sides ought to be ashamed of themselves for the example they are setting for the very students they purport to care so much for.


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Giggle of the Day:

funny pictures - several of them, actually
see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!
Leslie

Hump Day

Quote of the Day:
"I am in full nip denial." -- Nancy Grace
*Ahem*

My take on DWTS this week?
  • My crystal ball for the Final 3 -- J.R. Martinez, Rikki Lake, Chynna Phillips
  • Much improved -- Nancy Grace, Rob Kardashian, Kristin Cavallari
  • Meh -- Hope Solo
  • Needs a medic, stat! Chaz Bono
  • Needs to quit horsing around in rehearsals and pay attention to the dances -- Carson Kressley, David Arquette
  • Won't miss her one little bit (buh-bye!) -- Elizabetta Canalis
  • Going home next week -- Chaz Bono, strictly based on his crunchy knees, not his heart or his efforts
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The Kindle Fire debuted today, and it's a thing of beauty:



Now the question is, do I pre-order the 7" version, or wait for the larger model, which I understand will debut after Christmas? Decisions, decisions...
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You remember that recent post about the critter that squicks me out in a major way? Well, it seems the freaking things have shown up in U.S. waters!
A six-year-old girl who went fishing in a Texas lake using a piece of a hot dog as bait got more than she bargained for when she landed her very first catch - a flesh-eating piranha.

Lindsey Schutte and her parents took the fish home in a bucket unaware of its true identity - until it sank its razor-edged teeth into her seven-year-old brother's hand when he tried to play with it.
Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



(I'm guessing some idiot emptied his aquarium into the lake, never dreaming this might happen.)
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Recycling on a very large scale?
It was designed to deter the red threat from the old Soviet Union, but now a Cold War-era missile has had the cobwebs brushed off to launch a U.S. military satellite.

The Peacekeeper, also known as an MX or intercontinental ballistic missile (ICBM), became part of America’s nuclear arsenal back in 1986 but was decommissioned in 2004.

Converted into a Minotaur IV rocket, it successfully blasted a Tactical Satellite-4 (TacSat-4) into space from a launchpad in Alaska.
How cool is that?
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What happens when bad karma and fed up neighbors collide?
They want the next person to think twice before walking into their community and taking advantage of their friends.

“I think you give a message. You come to our neighborhood. You mess around. You are going to get taken out.”
Love it, love it, LOVE IT!
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Leslie

Drive-Bys

So... Dancing with the Stars, anyone?

This is the first season I've come into without any preconceived notions about who might be the one(s) to watch for the series. For me, there were some pleasant surprises and some downright disappointments. Here are my predictions for staying power:

The Best of the Men
  • J.R. Martinez -- he's handsome, he's charming and he can dance.
  • David Arquette -- surprisingly sweet, fully committed and shows lots of promise.
  • Chaz Bono -- personality, musicality and pretty decent footwork.
The Best of the Ladies
  • Chyna Phillips -- the appeal of Petra Nemcova - poise, sweetness and beautiful lines.
  • Rikki Lake -- her waltz was flat-out gorgeous.
  • Kristin Cavallari -- girlfriend can shake a bon-bon.
The Cloris Leachman Factor
  • Carson Kressley -- he brings the crazy fun, but can he really dance?
The Meh (in no particular order)
  • Hope Solo -- the judges loved her, but I thought she looked really awkward.
  • Nancy Grace -- she has potential, but has to bust out her big personality more.
  • Rob Kardashian -- again, he has potential, but where's the personality? the commitment?
Must. Go. Now.
  • Ron Artest -- no rhythm, no grace, no footwork, nada. Metta Whirled Peas.
  • Elizabetta Canallis -- no musicality, no grace, no footwork, zero personality. What was Clooney thinking?
So how did you stack them up?
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So Maurice Sendak has a long history of scaring little kids. What of it? Most little heathens love the thrill!

We're raising a generation of milksops, I think.
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Want to get a better handle on the GOP candidates for president? Go here for insight into what they want to do with our taxes.
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Webcam 101 for Seniors:



The Princess Mom would have been even more of a disaster and the language would have been much saltier.
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Quotes of the Day:
"It’s one small step for responsible journalism, one giant leap for celebrity look-alike dwarf porn."
Mercy.
" You may think the motorcycle makes you look cool and dangerous, but a Honda Odyssey minivan full of empty juiceboxes [sic] is a Destroying Angel Of Death by comparison."
You tell 'em, Insty!
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Giggle of the Day:

funny pictures - But he sure is cute!
see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!
Leslie

Drive-Bys

I found this funny question here:

What did you want to be when you were 13?

My answer? "16"
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The definitive example of cray-to-the-zee?
"A not-so-stealthy “samurai” who told police he was “cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs” is in jail after allegedly abandoning a vehicle on the middle of a busy Indiana interstate to march shirtless with a 35-inch sword."
That's the ticket.
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More after the jump...


Leslie

Drive-Bys

Giggle of the Day:

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Funniest newspaper "Corrections and Clarifications" ever:
In a Page 2 column on Wednesday, John Kass incorrectly asserted that by raising the federal debt ceiling by $2.4 trillion, President Barack Obama had grabbed "reality by the hair" and kicked it repeatedly "in the behind." But Thursday's stock-market plunge of more than 500 points proves that reality remains immune to the president's charms. The Tribune regrets the error.
Gotta love John Kass!
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I'm stunned:
Durbin said “Democrats have to be prepared to talk about entitlement reform and Republicans have to be prepared to talk about revenue if we’re both serious about meaningful deficit reduction. It’s tough politically on both sides. I mean, it’s as volatile as can be.”
Yeah. I actually agree with Dick Durbin, who is making sense for once.
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Seems Obama will never run out of groups or people or events to blame for the lousy state of the economy. Here's the latest:
"We've weathered the Arab Springs effect on oil and gas prices. The Japanese earthquake and tsunami's effect on supply chains. The extraordinary economic uncertainty in Europe and recently markets around the globe have taken a bumpy ride," Obama said this morning.
That's four finger-points in two sentences. (He did, however, leave out Bush, Republicans and the Tea Party... for once.)

Is anyone else ready for a little of Harry Truman's "The buck stops here!" mentality from the Oval Office for a change?
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And while we're at blame casting, "At Google, don't blame the technology when something goes wrong, blame the person behind the technology."

I hope they're right, though. The Princess Mom sure would have been a prime candidate for a robot car:


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Rules of the Road:

Do you live and drive in an urban area with lots of bicycle traffic? Then you should try this in order to prevent "dooring" accidents:
When you get out of your car on the driver’s side, open the door with your right hand. This will force you to twist your body and look back, allowing you to see if any cyclists or walkers are coming by.
Easy peasey lemon squeezy.
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After hearing about that awful story out of Australia where the young woman was collared with what was alleged to be a bomb this week, it brought back memories of a similar device that actually did what it was alleged it would do:
Suddenly, the device started to emit an accelerating beeping noise. Wells fidgeted. It looked like he was trying to scoot backward, to somehow escape the bomb strapped to his neck. Beep… Beep… Beep. Boom! The device detonated, blasting him violently onto his back and ripping a 5-inch gash in his chest. The pizza deliveryman took a few last gasps and died on the pavement. It was 3:18 pm. The bomb squad arrived three minutes later.
I'm so glad that Miss Pulver survived to tell her tale. And I hope they catch the sicko who dreamed that little stunt up. Let's hope karma catches up with the SOB.
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As my old pal Jihad Gene used to say, "It's Friday! Let's Dance!"


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Leslie

Drive-Bys

Giggle of the Day:
Officials believe the man was using the portable toilet (also known as a port-a-potty) at Rockhampton Airport, in the state of Queensland, when he lit a cigarette.
Go here to find out what happened next.
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Can you answer the Miracle Question?
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What a cool way to customize your carpeting! (If I didn't have hardwood floors, this would be tempting. And I might just pick up an inexpensive area rug and give it a try anyway.)
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For anyone who thinks ol' Rusty Rockets is a flake, go read his tribute to Amy Winehouse. Beautiful, sensitive stuff.
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Just because it's so darned cool:



Blame Cordovan for turning me on to this seriously addictive blog.
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Just a little shout-out to the folks at Sean's Original Designs -- I LOVE my Welsh Dragon pendant! It's beautiful.
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Hardee's is making me miss my Darling Daddy, who was chief cook and bottle washer whenever the Princess Mom headed off to parts unknown with my favorite auntie/fairy godmother for a week or so each year:
To partake of Hardee's latest round of breakfast promotions, you'll have to road trip to Wisconsin, say, or the Southeast and promise to exercise a couple hours extra post-consumption of the items: A Double Loaded Omelet Biscuit and Fried Bologna Biscuit.
OMG! Fried balogna!

This was one of the goodies that Daddy, who'd been a short order cook way back in history when dinosaurs roamed the earth, liked to whip up for dinner. The Princess Mom would have had heart failure, had she but known. And you can bet that we kids were zippered-lipped about this particular secret, because if we told, we'd never have fried balogna sandwiches for dinner ever again.

I like mine on soft white bread with a generous schmear of yellow mustard and nothing else. Mayo and foo-foo stuff on a fried balogna sandwich is for sissies. And biscuits? No. Just... *shudder*... no.
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Quote of the Day:
You may know two men that you think would be perfect as a couple except one likes leather daddies and the other is into twinks----and they’re both tops. If you don’t know what that means, then you shouldn’t play cupid.
Yup.
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Lingering would be a colossal waste of love and money.
Go read the whole thing.

Since the passing of the Princess Mom and Darling Daddy, I think about stuff like this pretty often, and I agree entirely with the author's perspective. There's nothing wrong with me now, but I've already started having conversations about this with my daughter so that when the time comes, she'll know exactly where I'm coming from and there'll be no surprises.
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My friend Lisa's got a new album out. She wants you to Come Dancing:



Yes, she is that disgustingly gorgeous in person. And a real sweetheart, too.
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Update: Searches that turned up on my site meter today: "ass burgers," "color of puss" and "boobs licker."

Lovely.
Leslie

Windshield Wiper

Quote of the Day:
"The cage-dancing, the lap dancing, the S&M hoods — it all seems so quaint now." -- Thomas Conner
Yes, I spewed all over my monitor.
Leslie

Drive-Bys

All of a sudden Illinois Dems are acting like Republicans -- and they're leaving my head spinning. Behold:
Mayor Rahm Emanuel is proposing another round of ethics legislation — this time to try to “reign in the influence” of City Hall lobbyists and lift the veil on their influence-peddling activities.

During his first few hours in office, Emanuel signed a series of executive orders that, among other things, aimed to slam shut the “revolving door” that has allowed city employees and mayoral appointees to lobby City Hall. They are now banned from doing so for at least two years after leaving their jobs.

Emanuel also swore off campaign contributions from city lobbyists and insulated city employees from pressure they had felt to give gifts or make political contributions to the mayor, department heads or city supervisors.

More recently, the mayor also posted an unprecedented amount of information about city lobbyists on the internet.Now, he is prepared to go further. At Wednesday’s City Council meeting, the mayor will introduce an ordinance limiting — to $50 per gift and $100 per calendar year — the value of gifts lobbyists can give to city employees.

And good ol' Governor Giveaway is finally reining it in, too:
Gov. Pat Quinn said Tuesday he was prepared to go to court against the unions to defend his decision to cancel pay raises for nearly 30,000 state workers and he repeatedly blamed lawmakers for leaving him no choice by not setting aside the money.

“It’s very clear that the money wasn’t available for the raises and therefore there’s really nothing I could do to clear it up,” Quinn said after a Chicago press conference where he touted a $10 million program to give teens and young people internships and jobs in state parks, park districts and nature centers.

Quinn made the surprise announcement Friday that workers wouldn’t be getting the 2 percent increase they were expecting that day. The state’s largest employee union, the American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees, said it had no idea Quinn was considering such action.

The raises will save the state about $75 million as it copes with a budget crisis.
And finally Governor Giveaway shocked me with this stunner:
The names of licensed gun owners in Illinois will remain private under a measure Gov. Pat Quinn signed into law today.

The governor approved legislation to prevent Illinois State Police from releasing the names of those who hold or have applied for a Firearm Owner’s Identification card.
Apparently they're listening to the tax paying public here in Illinois. Who knew?
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Quote of the Day #1:
"President Sparklefarts is seriously deranged." -- Second City Cop
(Yes, it made me giggle, although the subject matter did not.)
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Is buying organic produce really better? Apparently that's a yes and a no. Go here to check out which fruits and veggies contain higher levels of pesticides and which ones don't.
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Is it rude to text in at the movies, during a live concert or during a live theater performance?
Those little LED screens can break the spell in a darkened theater, and it doesn't matter that you're not making a sound. "Anything intrusive is a noise, and the light is intrusive," said Charles Coleman, who is the programmer at Facets Multimedia. "Using a phone in a darkened... theater is like lighting a road flare."
In a word -- YES. Turn 'em off, folks.
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Smoke belching from Asia's rapidly growing economies is largely responsible for a halt in global warming in the decade after 1998 because of sulphur's cooling effect, even though greenhouse gas emissions soared, a U.S. study said on Monday.
So we really don't have to go green? All we have to do is encourage Asia to pollute more and that'll stop global warming? Or we could simply burn more coal here in order to save the planet?

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaha!!!
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Has anyone else out there gotten a bazillion emails of posts to Google+ from friends who are beta testing the site?

Jeepers Creepers! It's like having Facebook invade your email. Ugh.

If anyone knows how to opt out of receiving every brilliant thought that crosses someone's mind out of my gmail, please, please, please let me know.

(No. I will not be signing up for this one.)
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Quote of the Day #2:
"I'm really not a 'What Would Jesus Do?' kind of guy. I'm more of a 'Why Would Jesus Do That?' kind of person." -- My Baby Bro, 7/4/11
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Holy crap. I almost forgot that ADWD lands six days from now... or so they promise. Seems I'm not the only skeptic.

(Fingers crossed.)
Leslie

Drive-Bys

Giggle of the Day:
A punk rock nine course tasting menu would be a case of Old Style missing three cans that were thrown at the band.
Priceless!
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Looking to adopt a really special pet? Why not consider a retired Military Working Dog?
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Hero of the Day: Elizabeth Smart
"I know exactly what you did. I know you know what you did was wrong. You you did it with full knowledge," Smart said, looking directly at Mitchell, 57, and speaking forcefully during brief remarks in federal court in Salt Lake City.

"I also want you to know that I have a wonderful life now, that no matter what you do you will never affect me again," Smart told Mitchell. "You took away nine months of my life that can never be replaced. "In this life or the next, you will be held responsible for your actions and I hope you're ready for that when the time comes."
(Emphasis mine.)
Young lady, I take my hat off to you and your incredible inner strength.
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Ear Worm of the Day:



I'm going to have to get their album. Fabulous stuff.
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Oh, puh-leeze:
But consider this: It's not that Obama can't speak clearly. It's that he employs the intellectual stammer. Not to be confused with a stutter, which the president decidedly does not have, the intellectual stammer signals a brain that is moving so fast that the mouth can't keep up. The stammer is commonly found among university professors, characters in Woody Allen movies and public thinkers of the sort that might appear on C-SPAN but not CNN.
And it may just be that if he hasn't thought it out beforehand, he's not quick enough on his feet to formulate an answer readily.
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Reading and doing crossword puzzles can block your ability to hear? Hah! The Princess Mom, were she still alive, would be assuring my readers that in my case, reading blocks not only the ability to hear, but also to smell.

Back in my youth I once read my way through a chicken burning so badly that it welded itself to the pan, which had to be tossed. I was so wrapped up in my book that I didn't see or smell the smoke that had filled the entire first level of the house. (So it's no wonder that i can read in the middle of a very busy and noisy sports bar and not be distracted.)

I can now validly claim limited brain capacity...
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Head-Scratcher of the Day:

Leslie

Drive-Bys

As some of you are aware, I recently underwent major oral surgery -- in 16.5 hours I went from a mouthful of teeth to no teeth to a mouthful of temporary teeth.

Here are some observations:
  • Now I know what the phrase "like pulling teeth" really means.
  • My brother tells me that toothless is not my best look.
  • My brother tells me that I should be commended for having the guts to go out in public looking like Jacob Marley's ghost. He also confessed that he wouldn't have. (The big chicken!)
  • 16.5 hours is a very long time to sit in a dentist's chair.
  • If you're going to get implants, get 'em all done at once. It's not brave. Brave would be willingly going through that more than once.
  • If the dentist offers you more novocaine -- TAKE IT. Don't gut it out.
  • Apparently I have a very high pain tolerance.
  • You are going to need more than four days off before going back to work -- mostly to wait for the swelling to go down and bruising to fade so your coworkers don't think you're a domestic battery victim.
  • Buy a couple of large gel packs and have them in the freezer before going to the oral surgeon. The eensy weensy ones you'll get from your oral surgeon are a joke.
  • It's a good thing you can't get stretch marks on your face, because the amount of swelling is amazing.
  • You'll look fine the day after. It's the day after the day after that you'll start looking like crap.
  • "You look pretty good, considering everything we did to you," is not a morale booster.
  • I just don't have it in me to do an all liquid diet for six months.
  • Mushy food mostly sucks.
  • On the other hand, I finally took my brand new food processor out of the box an put it to good use.
  • If toothless isn't my best look, neither is two black eyes and a purple Fu Manchu.
  • With your temporaries in place you'll be lithping like Winthrop Paroo. Temporaries are made of acrylic and are very thick.
  • My temporary choppers are bee-yoo-tee-ful... but I want my permanents, and I want them right now.
  • I am hyper-aware of the temporaries and of the lithping; therefore, I'm talking a whole lot less... and I was much more of a listener than a talker in the first place.
  • Oddly, talking less has lead to blogging less. Don't ask me why -- I surely don't know. And I'll try to do better.
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Quote of the Day:
“As a child, I had an inordinate fondness for Orange Circus Peanuts. Colored like an orange, shaped like a peanut, flavored like a banana. What the hell was I thinking.” – Phil Vettel
What was your favorite childhood (purported) food that now makes you scratch your head in wonder? (I've got too many to count!)
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PSA:

Do you have a universal life insurance policy? If so, you may just want to request an in-force ledger illustration. Prepare to be shocked when you get it.
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Things I'm Digging This Week:

I'm not in any way, shape or form an oatmeal for breakfast kind of girl. I want eggs, bacon and toast on a regular basis. But, given that bacon is not on the list of mushy foods I'm allowed, I've gotten a little desperate. Fortunately, I tripped across BetterOats' mmm... muffins old fashioned instant oatmeal with flax. Yummy stuff, and not the texture of wallpaper paste.


I have a 9" Tiffany pewter bowl on my desk that I got for hanging around the company for 10 years. I put it to work as the world's largest candy dish. Normally I fill it with Hershey's kisses, Starburst jelly beans, and all sorts of appallingly normal American candy. This weekend, however, I trolled the ethnic aisles at my local Shop 'N Save and found Mieszanka Krakowska in the Polish section. Not reading a word of Polish, I figured they were fancy hard candies (and cheap), so I threw a bag in my cart.

I'm not a big candy person. Give me salt or tart. I'm the one that will choose the savory dessert plate over the chocolate mousse at a fancy restaurant. I have a piece of candy out of that ginormous candy dish maybe once a week or so. Until now.
"Named after Poland's most romantic city, these chocolate covered jellies come in a variety of flavors: orange, lemon, pineapple, raspberry. Each jelly is slightly tart, not too sweet and covered with a rich dark chocolate which makes these a favorite with adults."
Oh. My. Gawd. They're like crack cocaine.
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Here's another Facebook scam to avoid.
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Ear Worm of the Day:



I wish Gavin Coyle's version was up on YouTube, because it's absolutely haunting (and has been stuck in my head for days).
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Update: I just noticed that Gavin Coyle will be playing at the Fifth Province Pub at the Irish American Heritage Center on June 9th. Does anyone want to go??? This is fabulous news!
Leslie

Drive-Bys

A willing and patient model is a beautiful thing...




And occasionally, so is a plexiglass window.
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Quote of the Day:
“It’s more important to learn how to be independently poor, than dependently wealthy.” -- Bill Sheppard
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Want fantastic deals on airfare? Go here. I've already found some terrific bargains for trips to Houston and Las Vegas!
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Leslie

Drive-Bys

Giggle of the Day:

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Quote of the Day:
I can’t believe individuals would actually pick some of these plates.
Personally, I think UPDWAZU is quite humorous.
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I find this to be a heretical thing to do to a poor, defenseless teddy bear. Then again, anyone with a name like Augustina Woodgate is probably going to end up more than a little eccentric.
Leslie

Drive-Bys

My Magic Cheezburger and I have awesome predictive powers when I comes to Carol Mosley Braun's chances of landing her butt in the Mayor's chair here in the Windy City.

I'm giving her style points for her latest blooper:
At a debate on Sunday at Trinity United Church of Christ, Patricia Van Pelt-Watkins said Braun was returning to Chicago politics after having been “missing in action and lost somewhere” — and Braun responded by saying, “Patricia, the reason you didn’t know who I was for the last 20 years is because you were strung out on crack. I was not strung out on crack. I don’t have a record.”

Watkins, who has acknowledged using pot and coke as a teenager, says she’s been sober for 25 years and has demanded an apology.More comments from around the town on Braun's

“This says a lot about her character,” Watkins said.

Or lack thereof.
More comments from around the town on Mosely Braun and her big mouth:

P.S. -- I asked my Magic Cheezburger what were Mosley Braun's chances of beating out Emanuel and Chico in the mayoral race. Cheezburger sez, "SRY. I EATED IT." (I'll bet you the leaders of the black community that pushed so hard for her to be the "unity" candidate wish they had a Magic Cheezburger of their own and had consulted it a long time ago.)

Update: Ms. Mosley Braun offers up an apology to everyone but the one person she owes it to."
I want to apologize to her, to the congregations and members of Trinity United Church and of New Pilgrim Missionary Baptist church and all of the families and friends of those who are or who have been caught up in the tragedy of drug use. I meant no disrespect of the sanctuaries in which campaign tensions spilled over.
She gives the word "ungracious" a whole new face.
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One hundred and eighty degrees in the opposite direction of black women in Illinois politics is Toni Preckwinkle, on whom I am developing a tremendous girl crush:
“The proposed budget represents the first step of a restructuring of county finances for a long-term plan that will address the structural deficit and lay the groundwork for the rollback of the sales-tax increase,” Preckwinkle said. “We must break the habits that got us here. We must build a new foundation to stabilize our finances.”
You go, girl! (Can we clone her a couple of times and send one to Springfield and the other to the White House???)
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While this news is not good, it does not in the least take away from the fact that a toddler would not be dead if his mother hadn't left him alone to play in the hallway of a hotel while she fooled around with her boyfriend:
A switch used by a 2-year-old boy to open an elevator door before he fell down the shaft last week should have been locked up, Joliet’s chief building inspector said Monday.

David Mackley said the exposed switch in the Plaza Hotel elevator car was a code violation. He told a city council committee that the switch either should have been in a shielded case or the device should have required a key to operate.
This whole mess saddens and enrages me in equal parts.
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Cool Quotes of the Day:

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The last living WWI veteran, Frank Woodruff Buckles, turns 110 today. God bless him!
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In the middle of the biggest recession in a long time, Caterpillar's workers take this brilliant step:
Union members at Caterpillar Inc. facilities in Illinois and three other states have authorized the United Auto Workers to strike if necessary.
This is why it took my father-in-law 30 years to get fully vested in a 20 year pension/retirement benefit.
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I'm heading home. Wish me luck.

More later!
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Update: Strike that heading home thingie. I'm on the reception desk until 5:30 p.m. Yahoo.
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Anyone who thinks having the Muslim Brotherhood in charge in Egypt seriously needs to rearrange their thinking:
A leading member of the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt told the Arabic-language Iranian news network Al-Alam on Monday that he would like to see the Egyptian people prepare for war against Israel, according to the Hebrew-language business newspaper Calcalist.
There's your religion of peace for you.

And, by the way...
If Egypt's President Hosni Mubarak is toppled, Israel will lose one of its very few friends in a hostile neighborhood and President Barack Obama will bear a large share of the blame, Israeli pundits said on Monday.
This is unbelievably awful foreign policy on the part of the U.S.

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Leslie

Drive-Bys

Giggle of the Day:

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Quote of the Day:
"China has produced a number of other elderly horny folks in recent years."
I can't believe this one slipped by a news editor!
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Yay!
The loudest noises heard in the lead car of Metra's Rock Island District train No. 416 this morning were from the train whistle.

Annoying phone conversations and loud chatter from passengers? Not any more, if all goes according to plan.

Today marked the inaugural run for Metra's "quiet cars," where cell phones, noisy electronic devices and loud conversations are off-limits in the first and last cars on trains during morning and evening rush hours.
Faster, please! Lately there's been a blowhard sitting at the far end of my usual train car. He pontificates loudly to his seat mate all the way in to the city, and he's never got one good thing to say about anything or anyone. Bleah.
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Oh, sure! Now use Rep. Giffords' attack as an excuse to make yourself better than the rest of us peons, will ya?
A top House Democrat said the attack on Rep. Gabrielle Giffords (D-Ariz.) should change how members of Congress are screened at airports.

“We’ve had some incidents where TSA authorities think that congresspeople should be treated like everybody else,” he said. “Well, the fact of the matter is, we are held to a higher standard in so many other areas, and I think we need to take a hard look at exactly how the TSA interact with members of Congress.”
Rep. James Clyburn (D-S.C.) Remember that name and vote the bum out next time he's up for reelection!
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You sure wouldn't hear this coming out of the black community here in Chicago!
Sure, immigration is an important issue to Latinos nationally, but it comes in well behind the economy, education and health care. In Chicago, it is at the bottom of a list that includes extreme poverty, gun violence and troubled schools.

Silly conversations about ethnic solidarity have distracted us enough.

Smart Chicagoans of all walks of life should look past skin color to elect the person best poised to lead this city out of the economic doldrums.

Well said, Ms. Cepeda.
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Fear of being a “bag lady” is the secret worry of every older woman. I’ve written and talked about this before, and the subject always gets a nod or a grimace of recognition.

No woman wants to be a burden on her children – or grow old alone, worry about money.

But the latest reports show we aren’t doing enough to deal with this fear — or the reality of the growing number of elderly women living in poverty. A new report by the Society of Actuaries states the case clearly: 92 percent of female retirees are not planning long-term for retirement.

The statistics are grim.

Cut this out and share it with every woman you know, regardless of her age or marital status.
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Ear Worm of the Day:



Yes. I do miss Ireland. Why do you ask?
Leslie

Drive-Bys

Don't forget I'm doing a give-away here. You can't win the $75 gift certificate if you don't enter, and you've only got until next Friday!
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It took the artists only four days to do this:

SUPAKITCH & KORALIE - VÄRLDSKULTUR MUSEET GÖTEBORG from elr°y on Vimeo.

I couldn't have done it at all. That's beautiful... and awesome. I really admire people with talent like that.
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Once again our brainiacs in Springfield seek solutions to our financial problems that will drive business from our state. Howzzat, you ask?
Some Illinois-based Web businesses were furious Thursday at a legislative plan that would require online retailers, such as Amazon.com and Overstock.com, to collect a 6.25 percent state tax if they have commissioned affiliates in the state.

That puts at risk huge revenue streams for such Illinois-based Web sites as FatWallet.com, CouponCabin.com and BradsDeals.com, which receive much of their commissions from sending customers to major online retailers. Their commissions are at risk because large retailers have shown in the past that they will sever business relationships with affiliates like those to avoid collecting state sales tax, called a use tax in Illinois, on products they sell.

The bill, passed Thursday afternoon, needs approval from Gov. Pat Quinn.
Illinois blogger Marathon Pundit and lots of others will be losing his Amazon Associate status if Quinn signs that bill.

Oh, you say -- it won't be that bad. Oh, really?
"I feel like I've been completely flipped the bird," said Tim Storm, chief executive of FatWallet, based in Rockton, near Rockford. "Essentially, 30 to 40 percent of our revenue gets shut off instantaneously."

FatWallet officials were busy Thursday scouting ways to leave Illinois, Storm said.

"The reality is that as a business owner with 52 employees, we're not going to just get shut down because of a law Illinois passes. Our customers don't care whether we're in the state of Illinois," he said.

Brad Wilson, founder of BradsDeals, in Chicago, said about half his revenue would be in jeopardy, along with 20 jobs at his company.

"We don't have much choice. If this is going to stick, we literally can't physically be in Illinois," Wilson said. "My wife is from Cleveland and would be thrilled if we moved back there. That's the kind of thing that's going through my head."
Good going there, Governor. We're going to lose business and see more people out of work because of this short-sighted bit of legislation. And, on top of that, people who are hurting and who can buy things more cheaply are once again given the shaft.
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I don't know about you, but this is change I can believe in:
House Votes to Repeal “Job-Killing” Health Care Law 236-181
Yay!
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Quote of the Day:
You know I am a fan of Nic Cage and Ron Perlman (whose very existence made the “Hellboy” movies possible). Here, like cows, they devour the scenery, regurgitate it to a second stomach found only in actors and chew it as cud. It is a noble effort, but I prefer them in their straight-through Human Centipede mode.
Go Roger!
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Ear Worm of the Day:


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If you know a little girl who has fallen under the spell of the Evil Empire of Little Girldom, you're going to want to bookmark this link to Dollie & Me, which has really adorable matching outfits for your little one and her doll that won't break the bank.

TMPAE has drunk the Kool-Aid. It's nice know I'll be able to send her a little something every once in a while that isn't ridiculously over-priced.
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Giggle of the Day:



CharlieDelta's cat strikes again!
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And here's a BlogThing, since I haven't done one for a while:



You Are Chinese Checkers



You live a hyper, fast paced life. You rarely ever slow down.

You are good at juggling many things at once. You are the ultimate multi-tasker.



You enjoy being in a group - in fact the bigger the group, the better.

You are an enthusiastic competitor, and you can be a little ruthless when you play games.


Leslie