Leslie's Omnibus

Busman's Holiday -- Helen Cat-Herding

I've said it before and I'll say it again -- trying to round up Jawja Blown-Eyed Blodgers is like herding cats on horseback... with broomsticks. It's a next to impossible task. To those who I managed to miss in the pix below, my apologies. To all of those who managed to miss me in theirs, thank you, thank you, thank you. I'd rather be behind the lens than in front of it any time!

So how did things unfold, you ask?

Events started Thursday evening when I had to work late, and I didn't make it back to the Omnibus Depot until after 10:00 p.m. Laundry and housework awaited, including cleaning the cat box. A 3:00 a.m. trip to 7/11 when I realized that I had no litter with which to refill said box. Urk. With a 6:30 a.m. flight, there was little to no time to sleep before tossing stuff into my suitcase and heading off to O'Hare airport. Thanks a million to Erica, who shared my dilemma and kept me going all night with a gazillion text messages and a lot of encouragement.

Friday morning found me both bleary-eyed and on an adrenaline high when I was met at the airport by both Erica and Elisson, who treated us both to a wonderful Southern-style breakfast, then wisked us off to Chez Ellison where we met the lovely Matata.

Matata leaves feline greetings for The Divine Miss Marilyn on my bag.

Erica chilling out in the newly-renovated kitchen d'SWMBO and Big E. We didn't rest long however; Ellison had lists upon lists of things to complete before the school bell rang and we could pick up the most lovely SWMBO. We packed up the E-Mobile and took a little jaunt to the Local Bagel and Smoked Fish Emporium, then headed off to the party shop for punch bowl, ladle and other beverage service necessary for service of the Chatham Artillery Punch. Tasks complete, we swept up SWMBO and headed north for Helen.

A quick stop for smokables and potables just outside of Helen brought the first big, big laugh of the day. Last year I brought a gift for a friend, based on his documented fear of all things zomboid. Little did we know that we'd meet his biggest nightmare in the North Georgia Mountains:


And where can you find this handsome fellow and more like him? Right here.

Our new zombie pal took off for his daunting, haunting day job, and the E-Mobile was once again pointed towards our home-away-from-home, the Chalet Kristy in Helen, where the mayhem had already begun in the parking lot.


Jimbo of the great farookin' hair greeted us with Chocolate Vodka and Shiner Bocks. Which led to...


Key Monroe feeling that Velociman could not possibly get into the spirit of Blogtoberfest without the proper costuming.


As you can see, he obliged her with nary a yodel of protest.

Key, V-Man, Georgia and Recondo32 tailgating in the parking lot.

Rick, Barbie, Jimbo, Erica, the infamous Catfish and Ken the Bodyguard swapped travel tales. Sammy, Zeejus, RSM (who put in an all-too-brief visit) and Denny managed to evade my lens, as did the lovely Joan of Arggh! and her swain, the Legendary Jolly Roger, Holder and Richard and newcomer (and closet blodger) Michelle.

Growling stomachs and restaurants with spotty service due to the incredible influx of touristy types compelled us to split up in search of dinner. When really bad music forced us back into the night and back the the Kristy, we met up with a few more of our favorite reprobates and took over Erica's room for a full-blown(eyed) bash:


Dax and Joan played backup...


... while Denny got us pretty effed up.

GuyK, Catfish and Dax chewed the fat...

... while SWMBO, Erica and Georgia put the Jolly in Roger. (And that's all you're getting out of me about Friday night.)

Shortly afterward, I toddled off to the Land of Nod. (36+ hours without sleep will do that to even the heartiest of Blown-Eyes.)

I don't claim to have any knowledge of Saturday morning, as I indulged in more than a little make-up sleep. When I finally peeled back the blackout curtains, it was to find an incredibly beautiful sunny day, and Blown-Eyeds hanging out down by the Chattahoochee.


Joan, Rick, Sam, Jimbo and Jolly Roger enjoyed the sunshine, fresh air and more Shiners.


Catfish, Rick and Dax told tales, as blodgers are wont to do.

We were also joined by GuyK, Sweetthing, and Sweetthing's brother. Sorry, no pix. Sure do wish they could have stayed longer!,

We were then greeted by a big treat -- John Cox, of Cox and Forkum fame, brave camper he, joined the riverfront festivities.


Ellison checked out John's latest sketchbook.

Soon afterwards, tummies rumbled again, and Zonker, Ellison, Richard, SWMBO and I set out on the Bataan... er... Bavarian Death March in search of the best barbeque in the North Georgia Mountains.


On the return march, Dax, Richard and I stopped by the local Rescue Station to pick up one of my favorite healthful elixirs. (None of that Chatham Artillery Guaranteed Hangover In A Punchbowl for this chiquita!)

Thus fortified, we returned to the scene of the ongoing crime:


Catfish and Bodyguard Ken were deep in conversation, but Eric and Fiona arrived shortly thereafter, and it was determined to be half-rubber time.

Undeterred that our usual half-rubber pitch was covered in vehicles due to the overload of cash-laden tourists with no other place to park, we retired to the grassy spot twixt the cabin du Richard and Holder and the Chattahoochee River.



Eric fielded while V-Man did pitching honors.


Holder said, "That was a close one!"


John joined into the fray, and impressed us all with his pitching abilities.


Erica knocked more than one pitch right into next week!


Half-rubber requires more than one catcher. Erica, Key and Michelle obliged.


On the sidelines, SWMBO, Michelle, Denny and Richard.


Sometimes, 'tis better to be spectator than sportsman. Key, SWMBO and Denny.


Zonker (a/k/a Zeejus*) and Key.

As the shadows grew longer, RSM made a return visit, and quickly changed from chammos to civvies. Blown-Eyed borborigmi rumbled loud across the pitch, and dining plans were hatched. While some of the Blown-Eyes opted for local dining pleasures, a big group of us (at Barbie's urging) decided to make good use of the barbeque grills provided by the good folks at the Kristy, so we headed off to Betty's Country Store for a grocery foray. Imagine Barbie and yours truly trying to wrangle Ellison, Sam, RSM, John, Dax, Eric and more in a tiny country store with two foot wide aisles and shelves crammed to the rafters. You'll have to imagine it, as only a Keystone Cops video would come close to the hilarity that ensued.

We returned to the Cottage du Holder and Richard, and proceeded to massacre a mountain of ribeye steaks and veg.

The Grill Master shows off the steaks.


RSM hoisted the veg.

A veritabobble feast, to quote Ellison.

After dinner, we were joined by Kelly and the Senior Chief, and I found myself with a shiny new Blog Son. (I spawn some handsome blog children, I do have to say.)

So what else did you miss? Lots more music by the Elderly Brothers, Robert Service, ghost stories, defamation by cartoon, an inflatable ewe, flying monkeys, a headless rooster and more of that Chatham Artillery horse swill. A veritable Ripley's Believe It Or Not of a blogmeet.

I'll tell you no more... but will give Richard the last word on how to survive a Jawja Blow-Eyed Blogmeet.
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*If you found my Zeejus shirt, please give me a shout. I'm happy to pay the postage to get it back. And no. I'm not telling you how I lost it.
Leslie

Busman's Holiday


I'm headed off for my annual weekend of debauchery in the North Georgia Mountains, to be followed by a trip 333 miles in the opposite direction for a week of R&R. The Divine Miss Marilyn will be living up to her Traveling Companion status, as she'll be joining me for the northern leg of the trip.

Good friends.

Good cocktails.

Actually using vacation time.

Working on the book.

Yeah.

Sounds wonderful.

See you when I get back!
Leslie

Drive-Bys

Quote of the Day:
Sometimes I wish there were a Hygiene Police who would come whack people with sticks, sort of like those nutjobs who go around trying to catch people eating during Ramadan.
You simply would not believe the stuff that goes on on public transportation some times. My particular grossest moment was when the guy sitting directly above me on the Metra train from Naperville to Chicago removed his shoes and socks and clipped his toenails right over the edge. Who raises these people, anyway?
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One smart parent:
“To me, my kids haven’t earned their privacy in a car yet. Being in a car is so dangerous.”
What do you think?
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Ferdy knocks one out of the park here:
I swear, if we could muster this much enthusiasm for putting an end to terrorism we'd be out of Iraq by now.
Pretty damned smart for a cat!
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My friend Tammi is shining the spotlight on Domestic Violence Awareness Month by bravely telling her own tale.

Read the whole thing.

Thank your lucky stars if this isn't your life.

Take heart and know that you can change your life, if it is your life.
Leslie

Drive-Bys

NameThatSerialKiller.com
NameThatSerialKiller.com - Test your serial killer knowledge

I got all but one on the first try. You?

(A tip of the cap to the Expert Witness.)
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I'm adding this to my Christmas list, right after my motorized barstool with optional autopilot and cup holder (though I certainly wouldn't turn down the Stake Bed Croozer, either).
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Quote of the Day:
“Poit”
I laughed myself silly. You will, too.
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Leslie

Drive-Bys

Holy crap! First she was spinning counter-clockwise, then clockwise, the counter-clockwise again. Freaky. And that will tell you a LOT about how my mind works...

(A tip of the cap to Nautical Dawn.)
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Speaking of Nautical Dawn, she knocked me flat with this quote of the day:
4:35pm I'm still stuck behind Big Momma and the Momettes. I'd take some deep breaths, but someone just hit puberty and hasn't yet discovered deodorant.
Priceless. Just priceless. Nice to know I'm not the only one this stuff happens to!
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Buckaroo Bonsai* used to do one thing that drove me absolutely insane. Apparently there's a left-brained law firm that shares the same proclivity for giving a gift that requires a lot of work to maintain to someone who may or may not have any interest in maintaining said gift.

Yup.

The Buckaroo insisted on gifting people with his mini-tree handiwork. He then alternated between put out and perplexed when the poor plants didn't survive. Apparently Sullivan & Cromwell has the same brilliant plan. That's just criminal when you consider all the hard work it takes to develop one of those puppies.

Look. I'f you're going to give a gift, you damned sure ought to make sure it's something the giftee wants. Sheesh.
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Kate is in her usual "Bite Me" mood. Go drop some warm fuzzies in her comments, would you?
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Carnival of the Recipes, The Great Pumpkin Edition, is up at the Expatriate's Kitchen, and boy are there some yummy looking recipes this week. Go check'em out.
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*Ex-boyfriend, for you newbie readers.
Leslie

Rubber-Necking

What do you get when you cross the intimacy of Post Secret with the whacked out humor of LOL cats?


Lolsecretz
, of course! Incredibly addictive.
Leslie

Rest Stop


Blogging will be light for the next week, as I'm buried in paperwork and want to see daylight before I head out for Helen, GA!

(Image swiped from here.)
Leslie

Tootin' the Horn

Birthday felicitations (tardy, but heartfelt) go out to My Most Precious Child...

... who turned... well, she had a birthday yesterday.

As soon as I get over this nasty old cold, I'm taking her out to celebrate. Wish I could have been there to help her blow the candles out!
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Another one of my favorite bloggers, Mister Debonair Hizzownself, is having a birthday today.

Stop by and offer birthday greetings!
Leslie

Bus Fumes

Bonus gift, indeed. The fact that there seems to be no end to this in sight is frightening. One more reason to boycott Chinese products -- especially toys.
Leslie

The End of the Line


This one's for Buddy:
He was the master of the "Buddy Lean" and the only thing bigger than his bark w[a]s his heart.
Sincere condolences to Richmond, WXman, Sporta and Computa.
Leslie

Drive-Bys




You Hardly Remember Your Ex



You're definitely not a psycho, and you probably don't even think of your ex often.


You've moved on, and your life is the better for it.

Just remember to remember why the two of you did break up - so you don't fall for him again!


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Your results:
You are Wonder Woman
























Wonder Woman
95%
Spider-Man
85%
Supergirl
75%
Superman
70%
Iron Man
65%
Green Lantern
55%
Robin
50%
Catwoman
40%
The Flash
40%
Hulk
30%
Batman
20%
You are a beautiful princess
with great strength of character.


Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz


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I may be Wonder Woman, but I've got a nasty cold. Yuck.
Leslie

Tootin' the Horn


Just got happy, happy news from My Most Precious Child:
I passed the Bar! (am doing happy dance)
Stop by and wish her heartiest congratulations. Or stop by here and buy her cool stuff.

I'm just so freaking proud of her!
Leslie

Drive-Bys

Because I haven't done any for a while, here's a couple of Blogthings:




Your Anti Climactic Fortune



Deep into your future, I forsee: Burnt cookies


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You Are Changing Leaves



Pretty, but soon dead.



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Halloween Horoscope for Leo



You simply have to have the most unique, elaborate, and amazing costume.

You tend to hop from party to event, making sure everyone checks you out.

Costume suggestions: A geisha, samurai, fairy, or pirate

Signature Halloween candy: Skittles

Scary movie you should celebrate Halloween with: The Shining

Leslie

Bus Fumes

It seems our pals the Chinese are at it again with the lead paint thing. Click on the link and watch the video if you have kids. You might just recognize something right out of your own child's toy box.
Leslie

Rubber-Necking

My eyes just about fell out of my head when I read this.

The price of real estate in Chicago is already ridiculously high. $40 million for a penthouse? C'mon.

That's appalling.
Leslie

Tootin' the Horn


My pay Maeve is having a birthday today. Raise a glass in her honor, will ya?
Leslie

One for the Road

TMPAE turns two years old this weekend. I just love the little flirt. She's way too much fun!
Leslie

PSA

Pretty City is sponsoring Pretty in Pink to benefit Y-Me National Breast Cancer Organization. 31 days of $31 salon/spa treatments. Most major cities are participating. What a treat!

October 1-31, 2007. You MUST mention that you are booking a "Pretty in Pink" treatment when booking appointments. No coupon necessary. No restrictions apply.
Leslie

Bus Fumes

Yes, I'm having another one of those days. Ack.
Leslie

Traveling Companions


From the archives -- The Divine Miss Marilyn and her "betht fwend," TMBCITW.
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The Carnival of the Cats which goes up every Sunday and the 182nd edition, 9/16, is up at The House of (Mostly) Black Cats . The 183rd edition will be hosted on 9/23 by This that and The Other Thing. There are more weekly cats at Weekend Cat Blogging #120 hosted on 9/22-23 by A Byootaful Life. See you there!
Leslie

Rubber-Necking

There is proof that God does indeed exist, and he has a sense of humor.
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Future Darwin Award winner.
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A thoughtful assessment of the Jena Six and where the true issue lie from a Louisiana native. Read the whole thing.
Leslie

The End of the Line


My friend Denny has lost a dear, dear friend today. Ashley was lucky to own him.
Leslie

Drive-Bys

Yummy! Perry's is right around the corner from my office building, and every sandwich on the menu is bigger than your head.
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Leslie

Drive-Bys

I got 100% correct. Did you?
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I had a delicious linguine carbonara for lunch... except for one thing. It was garnished with minced cilantro. Cilantro??? I could understand some flat-leaf parsely, but cilantro?
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Quote of the day:
What possible reason could you have for having that…that…DRESS SPHINCTER right in the middle of your beautiful gown?!
The Fug Girls' take on this dress was funny enough, but Plumcake has had me chortling like a maniac for the last fifteen minutes.
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Okay. This is just wrong. What in the hell are we teaching young girls about themselves these days?
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More of what's wrong with what we're teaching our kids here, here and here. Sheesh!

I'm glad I grew up back in the Dark Ages. I'd hate to be a kid today.
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Is it any wonder that I'm putting this book on my Christmas list?
Leslie

Bus Fumes

Baldilocks has started a new Monday meme -- Pet Peeve Mondays.

Today's post struck hit home with me, as I routinely assist my company's receptionist with telephone and reception duties during her lunch and break periods. She's correct. There's no such thing as telephone etiquette any more.

Peeve No.1 -- A hint to telemarketers and collection agencies everywhere

If you call a number and an operator answers, giving you the name of the company and asking how he or she might assist you, it's really not smart to ask, "Is [formal first name] there?"

You've already given yourself away. You're going straight to voice mail hell... if I don't drop the call accidentally on purpose, first. Part of my job is to get rid of pesky people like you; I'm good at it, and I take great pleasure in doing so.

Peeve No. 2 -- A hint to children of employees

Asking, "Is my dad/mom there?" before identifying yourself and your parent is not helpful. Clearly you have the only parent in the place; therefore, the rest of us must be non-breeders. Show a little respect. We may be non-breeders, but we are your elders.

Peeve No. 3 -- A hint to our regular receptionist's family and friends

Our receptionist has very regimented morning, lunch and afternoon breaks. She's had the same break schedule for 20+ years. Don't call five minutes after the start of her break, be rude to whomever has to deliver the message that you just missed her (this happens 3-4 times daily), and then hang up with a bang. Learn your sister's/friend's damn schedule already. And then use it.

To Nos. 1, 2 and 3 above, when you call someone at their place of business:
  1. Identify yourself by your first and last name and the company you are calling from (if you are calling on business) or relationship to the person requested (if its personal business).
  2. If you think for a moment your name might be difficult for the receptionist to pronounce, spell your name out for him/her.
  3. Identify the person you wish to speak with by first and last name.
  4. Be polite at all times.
Pet Peeve No. 4 -- United Airline's convoluted electronic, press-a-number telephone answering system

Dear United Airline,

Your answering service for making reservations via telephone SUCKS.
  1. That recording guy's voice is like fingernails on a blackboard. That stupid tick-tock noise he does when the system is searching for data makes me want to reach through the telephone and strangle someone.
  2. Did you have to put so many prompts into the automated system? I can bake an apple pie from scratch with fewer instructions and in less time than it takes to get to a real person on your system.
  3. For God's sake, quit outsourcing your operators to India. I want someone who speaks American English to help me. I don't care how polite your reservationist is; what I do care about is speaking with someone who actually understands me so I can get my business done quickly, get off the damned phone and get some real work done.
  4. Couldn't you at least have live operator assistance for you Platinum Plus members? It's irritating as hell for people at that level to bounce around like Tron in your telephone system. These are your best customers, for cripe's sake!
  5. If I billed you for the time my boss and every other Platinum Plus member alone and/or their executive assistants every spend on the phone trying to get through your stupid system, we could bankrupt you in a week. It's rude, disrespectful and a huge waste of time and money from your customers' standpoints.
  6. Oh. I forgot. You don't give a rat's ass about your customers, do you?
  7. Due to all of the above, the only exception I make for being rude is for anyone who has had to slog through your unwieldy and exasperating system. Your reservationists should expect unhappy campers. Every time.
That's all for now. (What did happen to manners, anyway?)
Leslie

Rubber-Necking

I stopped at a local restaurant's lounge for a cocktail on my way home last night. At the other end of the bar were three obviously inebriated *ahem* gentlemen who argued about everything from the Cubs to the White Sox to the Bears to Nascar to Kung Fu. (Don't ask how they made that leap. I still haven't figured it out.)

Except that one of them was so far in the bag that it came out "Tongue Fu."

All I could think was, "I've dated a guy or two like that. In fact, one was a third degree brown belt."

Heh.
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Oddly, that reminded me of Old Crankypants. Just think about the fun he'd have had with that phrase.
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More on the differences between what men and women like in a kiss here. And she's right about the overly slobbery thing. Ish.
Leslie

Traveling Companions

The Divine Miss Marilyn is working on her "pawdicure." By this time next week, those Lee Press-On Nails of hers will be an appropriate holiday color. (We may have to order the red/green combo for the Christmas holidays, then revert to something like the pink/gray combo that reminds me of a French manicure.)

Sometimes it's good to be a girlie girl.
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  1. WCB being hosted this weekend by the Bad Kitty Cats and Meagan
  2. Bad Kitty Cat Festival of Chaos being hosted by Samantha and Jack at the Tuxedo Gang Hideout
  3. Carnival of the Cats being hosted by MomRobin over at The House of Mostly Black Cats and....
  4. Friday Ark
Visit them all!
Leslie

Tootin' the Horn, Part II

Someone I know is graduating from basic training today, as an Honor Grad, no less. Well done, my friend. Your friends are very, very proud of you.

(A tip of the cap to Ragingmom.)
Leslie

Drive-Bys

Beloit College's Mindset List® For The Class Of 2011 can be found here.

My favorite? #49:
Virtual reality has always been available when the real thing failed.
Sad, but true.

(A tip of the cap to my Fairy BlogMother.)
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Looks like Bill Belichick got soundly smacked, and that's good. Of course I'm a Patriots fan. What Beantown Betty wouldn't be? But I want my team to win for the right reasons -- not by cheating.

Thanks, Bill, for costing the team a 1st round draft pick. Good judgment call.
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With all the crappy stuff you hear about the big stars these days, wouldn't it be nice if someone would find this article and play up the fact that, bit of a lad as he may be from time to time, Colin Farrell is a really great guy.

(A tip of the cap to the Homeless Guy.)

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Leslie

Tootin' the Horn

It's always been my philosophy that a gift should reflect the tastes and desires of the recipient, and not necessarily those of the giver.

Having the giftee tell you exactly what he or she wants makes shopping for the perfect gift a snap.

Here you go, Harvey:


Happy 41st, my friend, and many happy returns of the day.

(Photos shamelessly swiped from here.)
Leslie

Rules of the Road

From Catfish, who knew I'd love this!
Leslie

Book Your Ticket

If you're a fan of Gary Jennings' Spangle series...

(See review #1 here.)

(See review #2 here.)


... then you'll love, love, love this book, as well:


My fascination with all things circus continues, especially the grittier, seamier side of the canvas.
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If you recall, I was one of the few folks who didn't go all postal on James Frey when it turned out A Million Little Pieces wasn't the complete autobiographical work that it was marketed as. In fact, as a fictional work, or fictionalized biographical work, it was and still is a gripping read.

Now Frey is coming out with a new book, and calling a spade a spade. Yes, this time it's definitely fiction. I'm looking forward to it, too.
Leslie