Book Your Ticket

The only resolution I made for the year 2010 was to keep a list of every book I read this year. This is as much for me as it is for you, as I've never kept track before and suspect I'll shock even myself with the final number. Here's what was on tap for January:

Conspiracy in Kiev, Noel Hynd*

Skeeter: A Cat Tale, Anne L. Watson*

Mossy Creek, Deborah Smith, Donna Ball, Debra Dixon, Sandra Chastain, Virginia Ellis and Nancy Knight*

Pacific Avenue, Anne L. Watson*

Heart of Texas, Vol. I (Lonesome Cowboy & Texas Two-Step), Debbie Macomber

The Crossroads Café, Deborah Smith*

Heart of Texas, Vol. II (Caroline’s Child & Dr. Texas), Debbie Macomber

The Abbot’s Ghost, Louisa Mae Alcott writing as A.M. Barnard*

Behind A Mask, Louisa Mae Alcott writing as A.M. Barnard*

Suite Scarlett, Maureen Johnson*[1]

Key Weird, Robert Tacoma*

‘Scuse Me While I Kill This Guy, Leslie Langtry*

The Kiribati Test, Stacey Cochran*

Murder Takes the Cake, Gayle Trent*

When Pigs Fly, (short story) Helen Joan Casper*

Cape Refuge, Terri Blackstock*

Southern Storm, Terri Blackstock*

Key Weirder, Robert Tacoma*

The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin, Benjamin Franklin*

Lip Service, Susan Mallery*

Straight from the Hip, Susan Mallery*

Keep in mind that this is a probably a shorter list than normal, as I've spent more time on blogging and politics than normal!

---

[1] Young adult reading, but give it a whirl anyway. Absolutely charming.

*Kindle book

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Update:

I've decided to take this challenge, even though it should only take me a few months to complete. How about you?

Sunday Schedule

From Politico:

A tactic that would have seemed far-fetched a year ago, when the new president was sworn in with a 67 percent job approval rating, is now emerging as a key component of the GOP strategy: Tie Democratic opponents to Obama and make them answer for some of the unpopular policies associated with the chief executive.

The GOP has a lot to answer for, too, in creating our current financial mess and far too large federal government, so I would encourage them to listen carefully to what the public is saying and act on it now. Counting on my vote by simply being the opposition to the current administration ain't going to cut it in this election or the next. (Update: I'm not the only one who thinks this way, either!)

I really HATE attack ads, and I'm far more interested in what any candidate, Dem, GOP, Green or Lib, will do for his/her constituency.

I'm done with voting for the least harmful candidate. Give me a candidate with a clear slate of beliefs and objectives I can (mostly) agree with and a positive message, and that's who I'm voting for.

Because of this, I'll be voting in the Illinois Republican primary this year, even though I'm an independent. I really like Adam Andrzejewski for Governor, Jason Plummer for Lt. Governor, Judy Barr Topinka for Comptroller, Roger Keats for Cook County Board President, Mark Kirk for Senate (with Patrick Hughes as a strong second choice) and Joel Barry Pollack for 9th Congressional District. (If I could "cross the aisle" on this ballot, I'd be voting for Tom Dart for Cook County Sheriff. The man rocks.)

Still don't know which candidates speak most closely to your own politics? Go here, and read about them all in their own words.

If you don't vote, you can't bitch later. Educate yourself and then get yourself out on Tuesday, okay?

Update: Nice to see that Rush is getting on the bus. (Although I'm not sure if that's a help or a hindrance.)

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Swiped from my Barstool Blog Son, the funniest SNL skit I've seen in a long, long time:

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Governor Quinn makes a funny:

Defending his handling of the state’s deficit-plagued budget, Democratic Gov. Pat Quinn said today he’s “cut all the frills” out of state government but more tax money is needed to fund essential services.

Yeah, sure, right.

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Still want to donate for Haitian relief, but haven't figured out the best way to do it? You might consider this:

On Thursday morning, Munsen and his workers from Elburn's Sun Ovens International joined with the volunteer organization Feed My Starving Children in mounting a major relief effort for Haiti.

In Thursday's deep cold, they worked together at FMSC's Chicago-area headquarters on Aurora's far East Side, loading 270,000 meals and 121 solar-powered ovens destined for the earthquake-devastated island nation. The ovens, Munsen said, also could provide long-term aid for undernourished citizens there.

"Right now, each oven we get into Haiti is going to save lives," Munsen said.

The ovens come in two types. One is a large "Villager" oven, which Munsen said can make 1,200 meals a day. The other 120 are "Family" oven units, each capable of preparing meals daily for a family of eight.

That's not short-term help; it's long-term. Donations can be sent to Friends of Haiti Organization, P.O. Box 222, Holland, OH 43528. Those wishing to contribute to Feed My Starving Children may contact the group's Web site, www.fmsc.org.

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Quick Stop

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Saturday Ramblings

I don't care how many people think Chicken Little is a great speaker, when he's not using his teleprompter and is speaking off-the-cuff, he's not.

He started out basically taunting the GOP, "I told you people I'd listen to your pitiful, uncooperative selves, so do your best. Bring it, bitches!"

And, when confronted over several of his questionable propositions, responded, "I am not an ideologue. I'm not."

Jeebus! He did everything but waive his little fist and stamp his little foot.

I've got news for him -- he is an ideologue, and a whiney one, at that.

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Just how broke is Illinois? REALLY broke.

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When you start touting just how wonderful Canada's healthcare is, think about this little horror story:

If you’re a Canadian woman, and you’ve had surgery, you might have been been given – while you were under anesthetic, without your knowledge, without your consent – a pelvic exam by medical students in training. It is, apparently, standard practice in Canada, and no, they don’t actually want to ask for your consent, because you might not give it. So they’ve settled for insisting that when you go in for surgery, you’ve implied that you consent to letting them do anything to your body that they like.

Is this something women in the U.S. might have to look forward to under Obama care?

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Want a fabulous example of democratic politics in Chicago?

The inaccuracies of the flier – stating the Preckwinkle supported the unpopular parking meter sale – are irrelevant, Carter says.

“If she didn’t do that, she did something else bad against the people,” he says.

Never forget that this was Chicken Little's training ground.

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For literate sports lovers in Chicago -- Chicago Sports in Haiku. Heh.

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Fabulous take on broadcast news:

Gleefully swiped from Allen.

Drive-Bys

Giggle of the Day, Part I:


see more dog and puppy pictures

How much do you want to bet that's what this fool was thinking?
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Giggle of the Day, Part II:

Jan 27 2010

"They're not smile lines, they're stretch marks. Cock sucker."

"My donkey. That's MY donkey. Get off my donkey! You know, you're not some superstar donkey jockey. Piss off."



"Yes, I can get away with wearing leather chaps. Just not on a windy day."

Heh.
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Loooooooooooooooo-see! Someone's got a LOT of 'splainin' to do:

Hundreds of documents, including 2009 W-2 forms, investment account balances and job applications -- many with Social Security numbers -- were found blowing in the wind around Touhy and Eastview Drive.

The Tribune learned about the airborne paper trail from a reader's tip and contacted some of the people and companies listed on the documents. No one could say where the paperwork came from, but because some of it was partially destroyed, a few speculated that a shredding company was to blame.

Yeesh!
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The Daily Douche Bag:

Jessica Kathleen Alexander, 18, and Tammy Nicole Ortega, 29, are douche bags. Ho's, too, and really cheap ones, at that.

Whoever in the school system elected to go to the police and not to the parents of these two kids is a douche bag. And so are the police and the prosecuting attorneys who are pursuing this.
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Great Reader is still on hiatus, but the party must go on. "It's Friday! Let's Dance!"

Billy Sweetfeets starts off the dancing with The Llama Song.

Personally, I'm up for a little Thin Lizzy:



How 'bout you? Join the party!

Update: Look! It's a new one from the Dancing Inmates of Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center.

Update 2: I said, "Let's Dance!" NOT "Let's Skants!"

Quick Stop

Giggle of the Day:


see more Lolcats and funny pictures
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Ear Worm of the Day:

Bus Fumes

My summary of the SOTU Address?

"I'm right. You're wrong. And since I'm the President, I win.
Nanny-nanny-boo-boo."

And on a side note, it didn't take long to go from this:

At the beginning of the last decade, the year 2000, America had a budget surplus of over $200 billion. (Applause.) By the time I took office, we had a one-year deficit of over $1 trillion and projected deficits of $8 trillion over the next decade. Most of this was the result of not paying for two wars, two tax cuts, and an expensive prescription drug program. On top of that, the effects of the recession put a $3 trillion hole in our budget. All this was before I walked in the door. (Laughter and applause.) [BLAME BUSH!]

To this little lecture on finger-pointing:

Washington may think that saying anything about the other side, no matter how false, no matter how malicious, is just part of the game. But it's precisely such politics that has stopped either party from helping the American people. Worse yet, it's sowing further division among our citizens, further distrust in our government.

Hypocritical, to say the least. Feh.
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Illinois is so far over-extended financially, second only to California, that we're seriously in danger of bankruptcy, and Mr. Helpful/Chicken Little extends this helping hand to us:

Federal grant of $1.23 billion, short of $4.5 billion requested by Illinois officials

That's right -- he hands us the keys to more choking debt that we can't afford and has the nerve to call it assistance.

Thanks for nothing.
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Just three days ago, Chicken Little scolded that deficits don't happen over night.

To which I say, Oh, YEAH??? Then 'splain me this:

The Democratic-controlled Senate has muscled through a plan to allow the government to go a whopping $1.9 trillion deeper in debt.

The party-line 60-40 vote was successful only because Republican Sen.-elect Scott Brown has yet to be seated. Sixty votes were required to approve the increase. The measure would lift the debt ceiling to $14.3 trillion. That's about $45,000 for every American.

Democrats had to scramble to approve the plan, which means they won't have to vote on another increase until after the midterm elections this fall.

You can bet your bippy that spending freeze that's supposed to take effect a year from now will, of course, include this amount. (And why is that Kennedy shill from Massachusetts still voting, when a new Senator has been elected??? This shouldn't have been legally possible.)
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The Daily Douche Bag:

Chris Matthews is a douche bag. A tap-dancing douche bag, but still a douche bag.

The Staff Writers of the Star-Ledger are douche bags for failing to point out that these hazing incidents are a black-on-black crime, and that hazing happens far more often in all black fraternities and sororities than it does in fraternities and sororities that open their memberships to all races, colors and creeds. And let's not forget the lovely "sisters" who wielded the paddles. Nice job, douche bags.

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I love Rev. Right. And he is you know.

Rubber-Necking

Quote of the Day:

Well, I tried Apple's new IPad. It doesn't seem very absorbent, and it makes me walk funny. Thanks a lot Mr. Jobs.

I have no idea who Emily is, but I'll bet she's a lot of fun to hang out with.

Update: Nothing I've seen of the iPad has convinced me to toss my Kindle and get on board the Apple train. After all, my Kindle comes with Whispernet 3G, and you have to pay extra for 3G on the iPad. Plus, the iPad is 24 oz. The Kindle is 10 oz. MUCH easier to hold in one hand for long periods of time -- AND one week battery life with wireless.

Update II: Apparently, I'm not alone in not being convinced to give up my Kindle.

Update III: One more thing -- my Kindle has a built-in keyboard, and it's a separate piece of hardware for the iPad. Yes, it's a TINY keyboard, but it is a built-in keyboard.

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Either three out of four Americans are too stupid to know what's good for them, or one out of four Americans realize this guy's a jerk:

Absolutely amazing poll results from CNN today about the $787 stimulus package: nearly three out of four Americans think the money has been wasted. On second thought, they may be right: it's been wasted on them.

You do the math.

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Yes, I was at Lloyd's. Yes, I knew that this was the subtext. Yes, I yelled at the television. More than once.

Any more questions?

Drive-Bys

Remember that $8+ million Governor Quinn was getting ready to gift NIU with that I mentioned yesterday?

Here's today's news:

Tardy state payments may cut classes at West Chicago's schools
Illinois owes almost $8 million to districts with a combined deficit of almost $10 million

And...

New Lenox budget hole may swallow 4 teaching jobs
Delayed general state aid payments total at least $3.4 million

I'm telling you, the Gov has no business promising NIU money that rightly should be paying teaching salaries right now.
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While I'm not interested in going to see Avatar, I would love to see this place, which apparently inspired some of the settings in the film, in person. Stunning indeed!
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The Daily Douche Bag:

How much do you want to bet that being named Telly Savalas Virgin had something to do with this guy turning out to be a douche bag? (The parents who named him that are douche bags, too. That's just mean.)
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I may not smoke any more, but I feel this guy's pain:

If you start smoking at a party, I can absolutely guarantee that within five minutes everyone else will be smoking too. And what makes this even worse than being made to stand outside is that they will be smoking yours.

Since the smoking ban, no one has given up the tabs. They’ve just given up buying them, and this is the most annoying thing in all of human history.

Yep.

I would give someone a kidney or a pint of blood. But my last cigarette? No. I’m afraid not.

Last weekend I took a crisp, unopened packet of 20 to a friend’s house, where I’d been invited to spend the day shooting. And over breakfast one of the chaps said: “Ooh, can I nick one of those?”

Naturally this prompted his wife to chime in with a request as well, and that sort of opened the floodgates. So, by the time we’d pulled our boots on and set off, I had only 10 left. Ten wouldn’t be enough. When a smoker has only 10 fags in his pocket and there’s no shop for miles, it’s an all-consuming problem. You do a lot of maths. When can I get to a shop? How many hours till then? And just when you’ve worked out you can have one only every 40 minutes, the hordes descend again: “I say, you haven’t got another fag, have you?” So now you have only five.

I don't know about where you live, but in Chicago cigarettes run somewhere in the neighborhood of $10 per pack, so, on top of the irritation factor, there's the small matter of the not insubstantial cost of funding the damned moochers' habits.

And people -- total strangers and pan handlers, especially -- get really testy if you actually tell them no, even if they offer to pay you for one.

Do yourself a favor: If you want a cigarette, go buy your own pack. If you don't want one badly enough to do that, then don't try to mooch one from anyone else.
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Just heard about this upcoming Chicago singer, Daphne Willis, and I'll be buying her debut CD when it comes out:



Wow!
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Giggles of the Day:


see more Lolcats and funny pictures

And...


see more dog and puppy pictures

They just go together so nicely!
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I might give up on the motorized barstool wish forever if I could just have one of these. Watch the videos, 'mkay? That looks like too much fun!

(Blame LawDog for my new obsession.)

Pesky Technical Issues

Dear Advocates, Following a Republican victory in Massachusetts’ special Senate election last week, the future path of healthcare reform is considerably less clear. Republican state Senator Scott Brown’s election to the Massachusetts U.S. Senate seat held by the late Senator Edward Kennedy means that Democrats no longer have a filibuster-proof, 60-vote majority needed to advance legislation in the Senate – causing the Democratic leadership to weigh various options for proceeding. At this time, Democrats appear to be considering several possible paths. One is to push forward on a comprehensive bill similar to that passed by the Senate, with some additional changes to make it acceptable to House Democrats (e.g., closing the Medicare drug “donut hole”, increasing subsidies for low income families, giving unions a 5 year delay in the high value insurance plan tax). Another is scaling back pending reform bills and including less controversial provisions that could possibly garner bipartisan support. These include tax credits to help small businesses provide coverage to their workers and new rules prohibiting insurers from denying coverage based on pre-existing conditions. However, a scaled-back bill would likely remove the personal responsibility requirement from proposed insurance reforms, which would enable people to wait until they are too sick to purchase coverage. This would result in higher premiums for everyone and run counter to reform goals. Democratic leadership has emphasized that no decisions have been made. On January 27, the President will give his State of the Union address, where he is expected to give his views on how the Congress should go forward on healthcare reform.

Contact Us | Privacy Policy

Get Health Reform Right · 1718 M Street, NW · Washington, DC 20036

Danger! Danger! Run, Will Robinson!

Mr. X is at it again tonight.

He's schmoozing up a lovely lady. Little does he know I've fired off links to Parts I and II descriptions of what he's really like.

She probably doesn't need my help, because she already gets that he's a player on the B Team, if he's lucky.

Geeze. This guy would drive drive Roissy (who makes me giggle, but who also speaks truth) absolutely insane.

Then again... maybe I should just submit him for Beta of the Month???

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Update: I've suggested that if the lovely lady he's homed in on really wants to get rid of him, she really should press him for a date. He'll head for the hills. Trust me.

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One more thing. If two women are seated together, it's f*cking rude to sit and try to cut one completely out of the conversation in order to score with the other. You're showing your lack of breeding and/or manners, dude.

Drive-Bys

Quote of the Day:

As you can tell, my role is to encourage Barry’s worst instincts. I was the one who had him insult the Cambridge PD when his buddy, Skip the Scholar, threw a hissy fit. I was the one who got him to hand over the Christmas Bomber to Eric Holder, so they could tuck him into a comfy bed with the Bill of Rights wrapped around him. It’s not really that difficult. Insecure narcissists look for affirmation in their bowl of Wheaties. A few months ago when Barry was getting dressed for some speech, I grabbed his tie and ran away with it. He thought it was cute. That’s when he started showing up for major events in slacks and an open-necked shirt, like every day is casual Friday, even when responding to the latest unemployment report or a terrorist tries to blow up an airplane…

So if he makes the State of the Union address in a bathrobe and slippers, you can thank me. -- Bo Obama, Portugese Water Dog Extraordinaire

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Giggle of the Day:

"I'm Doc Sensitive. How can I help you today?"

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Ooooo! Way too tempting...
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Of course Congress is exempting itself and Federal employees from the excise tax... or trying to. You expected otherwise?
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The Daily Douche Bag:

Yes, Samantha Burton is a douche bag. No question about it, actually. BUT... Jana Bures-Foresthoefel, M.D., Willie Meggs, Esq. and the Hon. John Cooper are bigger ones. So there.

Speaking of douche bags, every single person who walked or drove by and did nothing in this case is an unspeakable douche bag. And that 15 year old kid? He's a monstrous douche bag.
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I'd really like to be able to vote for Jim Ryan in Illinois, but given that he's a huge proponent of selling the rights to both the Illinois Tollway and the state Lotto, I just can't bring myself to do it.

Those of us who live in the Chicago area have already seen what happened when Mayor Daley sold off the rights to the Chicago Skyway and to the city parking meters. It ain't pretty. Daley leased the parking meters just a year ago, and the money is almost gone already.

Nope -- we didn't get nearly enough buck for the lessees' bang in either case, and I don't see it getting any better if it happens with state assets.

Sorry, Jim. I really can't back you on this. In fact, I'll fight you tooth and nail.
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On the other hand, I also can't in any way, shape or form back Pat Quinn, who is once again playing Candy Man with money the state doesn't have:

Sneed hears Gov. Quinn is traveling to NIU to tell school officials this week of the $8.08 million refurbishment plans for Cole Hall, where five students were shot and killed and 18 others were wounded by a man who eventually killed himself on Feb. 14, 2008.

I went to NIU, and I disagree with the state funding this plan. Let the students and alumni do it. Let them decide what kind of memorial they want and let them figure out how to fund it.

And for cripe's sake pay off the debt we already owe to state employees and vendors before opening the state treasury for a project that could and should be directed and funded by the people most affected. The man simply cannot manage money.

And he doesn't know the meaning of "NO," either.
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How much do you want to bet that of the 10 letters a day Chicken Little supposedly reads, this is not one or them -- ever.

(And, by the way, how insulting is it that Chicken Little thinks he can take the pulse of the country based on 10 letters a day that have been vetted by the crew of the S.S. Clusterf*ck?)

I can't tell you how heartened I am that Chicken Little has his finger on the pulse of America.

On the Radio

Ear Worm of the Day:



This started up in my head on my walk to the train this morning, and followed me all the way to the office. (Yes, the temperature is dropping here.)

Drive-Bys

I certainly hope this Gollum column was written as a satiric parody:

Contrary to what you might think, I am a proud member of the pro finger-pointing caucus. It wasn’t too long ago that my longtime colleague Paul Begala and I urged our friends on the other side of the aisle to engage early and often in the blame game.

Now it is the Democrats’ turn. Point fingers is exactly what Democrats have done following Republican Scott Brown’s surprise victory in Massachusetts, and the subsequent setback for healthcare reform .

Now it is the Democrats' turn? Turn to do what exactly? Hmmmm.... Let's see what Gollum thinks:

Democrats would not be playing the blame game with one another for the loss or for the healthcare debacle if they had only pointed fingers at those (or in this case, the one) who put Americans (and most of the world) in the predicament we’re in: George W. Bush.

Seriously? Blame Bush?

What rock has he been hiding under that he's missed the Democratic mantra for at least the past two years?

Unless I was right in the first place, and this is total satire in the tradition of Mark A. Rayner, of course... and then it's truly hilarious.
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More comic satire?

"The president has always gotten the message," top Obama adviser David Axelrod said. "The message is, we need to grow this economy in a way that allows hardworking people who are meeting their responsibilities to get ahead instead of falling behind."

They're killing me!
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And Chicken Little chimes in with this gem:

"These deficits did not happen overnight, and they won't be solved overnight," Obama said in a statement. "The only way to solve our long-term fiscal challenge is to solve it together -- Democrats and Republicans."

Either he forgets completely that each of his big economic bail-out plans were rammed through overnight, including TARP, saving the auto industry, cash for clunkers and more and he also forgets just how many times Democrats made decisions in closed-door meetings and refused Republicans entry...

..OR, he's making a funny. A really big funny.
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And then there's this knee-slapper:

“They just kept telling us how good it was going to be. The president himself, when that was brought up in one group, said, ‘Well, the big difference here and in ’94 was you’ve got me.’ We’re going to see how much difference that makes now.”

Has anybody got a tissue? I've been laughing so hard I cried.
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One more little artistic doozy related to that pesky healthcare behemoth that Chicken Little just won't let go of:

Valerie Jarrett, another top adviser, said Obama had spoken to congressional leaders over the weekend ''to try to see what the climate is, what's the art of the possible.''

I have to stop now. My sides are killing me.
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One more thing... when did Jesse Ventura get so hawt? (And, NO, I don't buy into all his conspiracy theory nonsense. It's just that he used to be a lot cruder and ruder looking. Age agrees with the man.)

On that happy note, I'm outta here.

The End of the Line

Not only was James Mitchell famous for his delightfully devilish portrayal of Palmer Cortlandt in All My Children, he also performed this beautiful sequence in Oklahoma!:



Saltavit... Placuit... Mortuis Est.

Sunday Schedule

Go read Fausta today... especially this post. All those jobs saved or created by The One and his merry minions? I'm pretty sure they're all government jobs, and we're headed towards a government that's larger and better compensated than the private sector.

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Success at work usually leads to problems at home? Well, we know that failure at work can lead to problems at home. Sooooo... we should all be shooting for happy mediocrity?

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Of all of the things he's done or hasn't done so far, President Chicken Little waiting until now to come up with this cockamamie commission that won't even have results to vote on until November, for cripe's sake, is the one that most displays the disconnect between himself and the entire working (and out-of-work) public.

Dood! People want solutions nine months ago, NOT nine month from now.

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Another disconnected Dem that really doesn't get that the voters in Illinois do not want tax increases is finally getting bitten in the butt in the polls.

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Professor Jacobson's preview of Chicken Little's upcoming State of the Union Address is almost, but not quite on target.

I actually think it's going to be as pleasant on the ears and as palatable to watch as this version of the same familiar ditty:

As the Princess Mom used to tell me, "It's not what you say; it's how you say it." Amen.

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Giggle of the Day:

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

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En Route to the Magic Kingdom

There's absolutely nothing in the world that's guaranteed to make me smile more than to see the shining eyes of a princess-mad four-year-old who's spellbound by seeing all of her heroines at once* at Disney On Ice -- Let's Celebrate!

The original chatterbox didn't make a peep through the entire first number, after which she applauded wildly.

TMBCITW, Sainted SIL and I had a wonderful time, too, but it was all about the magic in that little girl's eyes.

(Of course I bought the girls some over-priced swag. Of course I loaded them up with junk from the dessert cart and sno-cones with extra syrup. I'm their Auntie -- it's my job to spoil them rotten.)

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*With one notable exception -- Where in the heck was Princess Aurora? How do you have a show where Maleficent makes an appearance, but Sleeping Beauty doesn't??? We're experts on Disney Princesses in this family, and we notice when one goes missing.

On the Radio...

Swiped from my favorite slightly crumpled Cripple.

Drive-Bys

I know Old Crankypants was a stone atheist, but I'm convinced he was surprised as hell to find himself hanging around in the ether after all.

Why?

Jan 19 2010

"My bagder's [sic] gonna unleash hell on your ass. Badgertastic!"

"No, not the cats. Don't trust them. Their eyes. Their eyes. They know too much."

"Just look at yourself. Yeah, now look at me. You don't stand a chance. It must suck to be you, I'm sure."

Robbie is whispering in the ear of the Sleep Talkin' Man every once in a while.

And that makes me smile.
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Why do I read Roissy? Sometimes he'll post something that just makes me grin. Like this. Brutally honest... but funny.
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I have Contagion on the brain. I can't figure out why, though...
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The Daily Douche Bag:

A Georgia woman is in jail after police say she forced her son to kill his pet hamster with a hammer as punishment for bad grades.

Lynn Middlebrooks Geter is an incredible Douche Bag.
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I am very happy to hear that my favorite Grouchy Old Cripple is healing fast. Geeze! He survives a bunch of drunken Jawja Blown-Eyes helping his own alcohol-fueled crippledy self down the stairway to Hell along side the Chatahoochee, but gets knocked upside the head when he's actually doing something relatively safely?

Yeah, he's another atheist, but I prayed for his recovery anyway. (He had to get better! He's the only blodger, Blown-Eyed or Blown Star, who brings me three bottle of wine to every blodgemeet. And he lets me sing harmony on occasion.)



Smooches, Denny!
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Great Reader is still on hiatus, so I'll say it for him: "It's Friday! Let's Dance!"



I don't know about you, but my toes are tapping!

Pay No Attention...

... to that Man* behind the curtain!

Fausta is furious that the DDfDDDB** has inserted himself into Haiti with a team bringing doctors and medical supplies to do... what exactly?

According to Saint Elizabeth:

Edwards' wife Elizabeth told the Charlotte Observer that "whatever the naysayers say is the truth is, John actually cares about poverty issues."

Right. The poverty issue he cares most about is hanging onto his law license, and by throwing up more smoke and mirrors and "good deeds" he's hoping like hell that the media won't notice that not only did he suborn the perjury of a campaign aid, not only did he bribe the mother of his illegitimate child with campaign funds, but he also allegedly attempted pervert justice by falsifying DNA evidence in anticipation of a paternity suit and 20/20 will be airing the interview with the aide he begged to do his dirty work shortly.

Oh, yeah... and he's attempting to curry the favor of the White House, too:

A senior administration official told CBS News chief political consultant Marc Ambinder that Edwards, who visited Haiti a year ago, had informed the Obama White House that he wanted to go to Haiti and help out before the trip.

"I am told that this declaration was met with silence," Ambinder told CBSNews.com.

Does this guy not get that he's political poison?

Then again, he's a Democrat who doesn't get it. Maybe Obama should find an unassigned Czar title and invite him aboard the S.S. Clusterf*ck that is Team Obama...
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*Weasel

**Dumpster-Diving for Diaper DNA Douche Bag

Whoa, Nelly!

I've been thinking a little bit more about the ABC article about John Edwards' admission of his illegitimate child's paternity, but, more importantly, the allegations of his former staffer that Edwards was not only allegedly suborning perjury, but also allegedly conspiring to falsify DNA evidence in anticipation of a paternity suit against him.

Yeah, I'm outraged on one level because he's a douche bag...

... but I'm outraged on another level because it seems that only ABC is pointing out that: 1) his public acknowledgement of paternity happened so close to the airing of his former campaign aide's interview on 20/20 that it can only have been done to throw up a smoke screen; and, 2) the rest of the mainstream media has seemingly paid no attention to the fact that an officer of the court has been accused of alleged illegal behavior that should have his brothers and sisters in the legal profession shouting from the rafters for him to be brought before the bar for professional ethics violations.

I ask you, where is the outrage?

Drive-Bys

The Daily Douche Bag:

Just when you thought John Edwards couldn't possibly be any douchier, he goes and out-douches himself. Again:

In an excerpt from his upcoming interview with ABC News's Bob Woodruff, Young alleges that Edwards asked him to arrange a fake a paternity test.

"Get a doctor to fake the DNA results," Young said Edwards told him. "And he asked me ... to steal a diaper from the baby so he could secretly do a DNA test to find out if this [was] indeed his child."

Seriously? This guy is a contender for Douche Bag of the Decade... and the decade has only just begun. C'mon -- he's a Dumpster-Diving for Diaper DNA Douche Bag... and you can't sink much lower than that.

There is, however, one more shining example of parenting douche baggery in today's Chicago Tribune:

Police allege that the suspect's father and brother tried to bribe the victim's father, the target of the shooting, not to cooperate so that authorities would be forced to drop the shooting charges. The victim's father alerted police, who eventually arrested Vincente and Hector Herrera.

Gives you a warm, fuzzy feeling, no? Yes, the Herrara boys are all douche bags.
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Quite possibly the funniest positive restaurant review I've read in a while:

The thought kept crossing my mind: Why have you been shopping at Aldi, trying to decide between 75 percent lean garbage and 80 percent lean garbage?

Oh, yeah, I remember. The money thing.

The O'Neil's burger is actually 75 percent Kobe, with the rest consisting of chopped up bits of regular steak, mostly of the skirt variety.

I asked Chef Martin Rebollar how come, and he said something about different kinds of beef fat in combination blah blah blah chef stuff flavor profile blah blah more chef stuff. Then he smiled and turned around and cooked a flat pink thing.*

Go read the entire thing. You'll be drooling in between guffaws.
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Jerry Philipson wants to know if Obama can change and save his presidency.

Hmmmmm....

Obama says he "gets it" after Scott Brown's stunning victory in Massachusetts -- that the voting public is angry and frustrated.

Oh, really?

He hasn't given up on that massive pile of steaming dung that is his Health Care Plan; he's simply giving Congress time to regroup and resharpen their knives... and their pencils.

He doesn't get that the people who are voting with their feet in Tea Parties are against more and bigger government, yet the Sage One rolls out two new tee-riffic new initiatives:

• He wants to nationalize student lending; and,
• He is trying to bypass the states and nationalize education funding.

He's having a public hissy fit because McCain/Feingold was overturned by the Supremes. Ooo! The Horror! First Amendment rights are actually upheld!

Where was I? Oh, yeah -- that hopey/changey thing. Nope. We can hope, but he won't change.

P.S. -- We're pissed about lack of jobs and he's worried about nationalizing student lending and nationalizing education and whatever other empire building stuff he can come up with and McCain/Feingold getting folded, spindled and mutilated by the Supremes? NO. He doesn't get it.
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Giggle of the Day:


see more Lolcats and funny pictures
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NEW Giggle of the Day?

When an aide informed Pelosi of Brown’s win around 9 p.m. Tuesday, the speaker summoned her leadership team to her office at the Capitol, ejected her staff and attacked her options as if her career depended on it.

It does. Yay!

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*Yes, that "pink thing" reminded me of the Princess Mom and the infamous Pineapple Ham Loaf.

Quick Stop

Oh, for crap's sake, you people in the media just don't get it, do you?

1. Health care reform is not popular. We want it. We just don't want that piece of crap the House and Senate tried to cram down our throats.

2. The stimulus and TARP bailouts are not popular. Okay, I'll give you that one. Let crappy businesses fail, and let people who can't afford the home YOU think they should own, but THEY can't afford, go back to renting... like me (who actually could afford to buy, but chooses to live more frugally).

3. The wars in Afghanistan and Iraq are not popular. Pick one. Commit. Fucking win one.

But, hey? What do I know?

Shining a Spotlight

If Scott Brown has two people in the internet world who he should thank heartily for his success yesterday, they are Sissy Willis and William A. Jacobson.

Just saying.

And when the next election rolls around in Illinois, I'm looking to them for technology and inspiration.

Don't kid yourself that the far left or the far right have gotten the message. They haven't.

We've got another election coming up, and I've got news for ALL the candidates:

1. I really, really, REALLY HATE attack ads. Unless you've got proof positive that your opponent has broken a law, I don't want to hear what a scum-bag you think he or she is.
   
   
2. I want to know what YOU believe in.
   
   
3. I want to know what differentiates YOU from the rest of the crowd.
   
   
4. I want to know when and where you've actually created legislature or where YOUR actions have made a difference.
   
   
5. I want to know what new legislation you think you'll propose and why.
   
   
6. I want to know what current legislation you oppose... AND WHY.
   
   
7. I want to know how long you propose to serve, and why.

I understand why Drudge asked if Brown will be running for president in the next election, but the fact of the matter is, the more important question is why the Dems didn't get just how pissed off the voting base is with them before this.

We've got three more years of President Chicken Little and his band of headless chickens who may be able to party, but will never have a clue.

Grab your own medulla oblongata. Stand up for what and who you know is right. Raise a stink when you believe you're seeing something wrong. Link to your evidence. Stand by your candidate.

Politics are changing, even as you read this. And that's an entirely beautiful thing.

Back To Work

Now that Scott Brown has been elected, I hope the GOP in office make it their business to refute the premise that everyone hates health care reform.

In fact, most of us truly desire health care reform, just not that gargantuan pile of crap that the Dems are trying to ram through with zero transparency, and at a huge cost to everyone.

It's time for the boys and girls in the GOP roll up their sleeves and fix the current health care mess, one issue at a time before adding anything additional to the mix, and do it in a true bipartisan manner in the clear light of day.

If nothing else, Brown's victory in Massachusetts should be a message not only to the Dems, but also to the GOP that the voting public is not happy and are ready, willing and demonstrably able to select new representation if their elected representatives at every level don't pay attention.

Brown's victory is the beginning of the journey, not the end, by any stretch of the imagination.

In The Passing Lane

Final Update:

From Scott Brown's acceptance speech:

It all started with me, my truck, and a few dedicated volunteers. It ended with Air Force One making an emergency run to Logan. I didn’t mind when President Obama came here and criticized me – that happens in campaigns. But when he criticized my truck, that’s where I draw the line.

We had the machine scared and scrambling, and for them it is just the beginning of an election year filled with surprises. They will be challenged again and again across this country. When there’s trouble in Massachusetts, there’s trouble everywhere – and now they know it.

To everyone who believed and participated in the "Truck Bomb," a personal and heartfelt thank you!

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Update: The hits just keep on coming, so I'm moving this up to the top!
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I can't vote in Massachusetts so I can't join the voter bomb, but I sure can show my enthusiasm for Scott Brown, who appears to be pulling ahead in the polls.

How, you may ask?

Inspired by Mrs. Who, I think it's time for a little Truck Bomb to blow the doors right off the Coakley campaign (which of course blames Bush for the whole darned thing heading south). Got a pick up truck song that's a particular fave? Or a photo? Or a story? Post 'em at your blog and either drop a link in my comments or email me. I know you can do it!

Here's mine:



Go, Scott, go! Keep on truckin'!


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Update:

McGeehee is on board!

Allen sends a multi-artist truck bomb!

Fausta saddles up!

LL sends a rather blue truck bomb!

God bless Mrs. Who:

Lordy, I'm showing my country roots, but how about this song, too:

http://www.cowboylyrics.com/lyrics/reed-jerry/east-bound-and-down-19138.html

The first verse especially could reflect Scott Brown's run for office:

East bound and down, loaded up and truckin'
a'we gonna do what they say can't be done
We've got a long why to go and a short time to get there
I'm east bound just watch ol'Bandit run

Joan of Argghh! is Willin'!

God bless Pammy and her Buffet Bomb!

John Ruberry, the Marathon Pundit, is Willin' to believe Brown can go the distance!

I almost forgot -- Pamibe was ahead of us all!

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Update: Welcome friends of Sissy Willis! I may live in Illinois now, but I was born at Mount Auburn Hospital, and my Massachusetts roots run deep. I believe in Scott Brown, and hope you do, too.

Whether or not you've got a blog, you're welcome to join in the Truck Bomb in support of Scott Brown. Drop your story or link to YouTube video in the comments, or email me your truck photos. The more the merrier here!

If you're from MA, I certainly hope you turn out to vote tomorrow.
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More Truck Bombs!

Miss Nancy sends best wishes from the Great State of Texas!

Pamibe is Truckin' for Scott again!

Patti chimes in!

Kerrcarto is da bomb!

Harper sends more Texas bombitty goodness!

My Barstool Blog Son's computer is on the fritz, but he sent a request for this little gem:



That's a BIG 10-4!

Diamond Dave sends a Truck Bomb from outer space. Rock on!

Woot!

Congratulations Scott Brown! Congratulations Massachusetts!

Looking Both Ways

Whatever the election results in Massachusetts, the state of my birth has energized and exhilarated me with this election like no other election I can remember. Win, lose or draw, the Bay State has given notice to Capital Hill that the voting public is not happy.

Massachusetts, I salute you!

Say What?

Ummmm... actually I believe the folks on Capital Hill like this version of that saying better:

We’ll cross that bridge when we throw her off of it.

And you?
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Thanks, Mr. Jacobsen!

Say What?

“Now everything that gets done in the Senate will have the imprimatur of bipartisanship,” another administration official said. “The benefits of that will accrue to the president and the Democratic Senate. It adds to the pressure on Republicans to participate in the process in a meaningful way, which so far they have refused to do.” [Emphasis mine]

Pretty hard to participate when you're locked out of all the discussions. Seems to me it's not the Republicans who are refusing.

Campaign Stop

Jonathan Tobin suggests that there were no exit polls set up in Massachusetts because no one anticipated there'd be a need for them.

That may be true, but I actually think that works in Scott Brown's favor. Why? Because there's no disincentive to show up to vote based on skewed early exit polls.

Fingers crossed!
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Liveblogging the election here. Fascinating!

Drive-Bys

Hold on to your hats, kids, because if Obama Care passes, I'm afraid we're in for not only mandatory insurance, but mandatory care:

An influential advisory panel says school-aged youngsters and teens should be screened for obesity and sent to intensive behavior treatment if they need to lose weight — a move that could transform how doctors deal with overweight children.

Governmental parenting. Nice.

But wait!

The task force is the same group of government-appointed but independent experts whose new mammogram advice startled many women in November. That guidance — that most women don't need routine mammograms until age 50 — is at odds with the American Cancer Society and several doctor groups.

Just so you know who's looking out for your and yours...
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Wildly Non-PC Giggle of the Day:


see more Political Pictures

Sorry, but it made me laugh.
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Speaking of things that made me laugh, feminists may not like him, by this Roissy guy occasionally nails us gals right where we live:

Please set aside your woefully inadequate male logic when attempting to predict the direction of a woman’s rationalization hamster. That little critter will always razzle dazzle your feeble efforts. You must think like the hamster if you want to influence the hamster. Be the hamster. The wheel is waiting.

You may not think that's funny... but I do. (And ask any woman who's ever really liked bad boys, he's right on the money in that post. Sad, but true.)

PSA

The Anchoress has a long list of great agencies if you're looking to donate towards earthquake relief in Haiti.

If you'd rather take a longer view and donate not only for immediate relief, but towards future rebuilding efforts, go here.

Whichever you choose, if your company has pledged matching funds, be sure and ask if those matching funds are on top of funds set annually, or if they come out of those regular funds. Local agencies are already hurting, and I'd hate to see funds diverted from services that are badly needed here, too.

Ultimately, you have to do what you feel is right, but an educated choice will do more good than an impulsive one.

Drive-Bys

Great Reader is still on hiatus, so I'm declaring, "It's Friday! Let's Dance!" This little toe-tapper has been rattling around my brain box from the moment I got up this morning:



Want to join the dance party? Throw up a post at your site and add a link in the comments here.
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I think I found a girlfriend for Donald Mills:

grandma: You need to tell that brother of yours to get bigger pants. That boy’s drawers are like a cheap hotel-there’s no ballroom.

Well?
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I believe Adam and El Capitan must be meeting out there in dreamland:

"Butt cheeks ahoy! There she blows!"

"You can't be a pirate if you don't have a beard. I said so. MY boat, MY rules."

"We haven't got a plank. Just fucking jump."

Heh.
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I guess if you want to be more equal than others, you need to join a union:

Big Labor got some big love from President Obama and congressional Democrats yesterday after they agreed to exempt union workers from the whopping “Cadillac tax” on high-cost health-care plans until 2018.

The sweetheart deal, hammered out behind closed doors, will save union employees at least $60 billion over the years involved, while others won't be as lucky -- they'll have to cough up almost $90 billion.

The 40 percent excise tax on what have come to be called "Cadillac" health-care plans would exempt collective-bargaining contracts covering government employees and other union members until Jan. 1, 2018.

Would someone please explain to me just how this is constitutional?

And about that transparency thing? It's so not working for me.

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Daily Douche Bags:

Danny Glover is a douche bag. Rush Limbaugh is a cagey douche bag. Anyone who even has to ask the following question is a douche bag:

Perhaps the most important is whether the state should establish specialized nursing home wards or even separate facilities for the most dangerous residents -- those with violent backgrounds who pose a threat to others. Sullivan's group and many advocates say Illinois must stop mixing dangerous and vulnerable residents.

The issue "still perplexes us and is something for which we need additional discussion," Gelder said. "This is one of the central issues in the concerns about keeping people safe,"

Yes, indeedy -- Gelder is a douche bag.
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I don't know about you, but I'd rather bake a pie than a cake; thus, I found this tip very interesting:

Freezing your lard and butter ahead of time and using a box grater to shred it into the floured mixing bowl effortlessly ends in the sort of coarse, crumbly, flake-inducing dough that is generally considered the platonic ideal. Just grate, moisten, give a quick stir and a light knead, cover in plastic and chill for 30 minutes.

Cool!
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My favorite actor, Brian Dennehy, is in town for a run at the Goodman Theatre. Anybody interested in joining me? (It'd be worth it just to see me go all girly over just being in the same room with the fabulous Dennehy. He blows my skirt up. Trust me.)
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Add Jimmy Kimmel to the list of people whom I never thought I'd find myself respecting as a result of the Conan/Leno/NBC mess. But I do now.
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Happy weekend, all!