Leslie's Omnibus


I went to the doc today for a follow-up to the sleep study I did a few days ago.

The results? Yep. I have moderate sleep apnea. I had no idea how many times a night I stop breathing until the doc showed me the graphs from the study. No wonder the Buckaroo was scared witless!

So what's the next step? Well, I have to go back to the sleep center next Thursday, and let them once again wire me up like the pre-surgery Bionic Woman. I'll have wires connected from the top of my head down to my ankles. Then they strap on some sensors around the waist and a chest sensor that gets strapped under the armpits and above the boobs. (We're talking major glamor, baby!) They stick the sensors to your face and scalp with some goop that's the consistency of rubber cement.* By the time morning rolls around, my hair will make these folks look stylish. Yes, indeedy -- I'll have seriously scary hair.

On top of that, I'll be hooked up to one of these dealies and they'll tweak the air pressure all night until they figure out just how much is enough to keep me breathing all through the night without over-inflating my sinuses.**

Not so bad, you say? Well get a load of this exotic sleepwear. (I'll probably end up with this one, which is not nearly so hideous looking or feeling. I think.)

Sleep studies and treatment for apnea are not for the vain and certainly not for sissies. So there.

*It takes DAYS to get this shit out of your hair and off of your skin.

**If you've ever been on an airplane and felt your ears plug up when the cabin pressurizes, then just take that feeling and shift it from your ears to your sinuses. Odd, but not too bad.


Anonymous said...

I have been through al that crap. I finaly took it back and told them to insert it where it would do the most good. What a monumental pain in the buttocks.

Contagion said...

I refuse to take the test. I'm pretty sure I have sleep apnea... but I just don't want the head gear.

Babylonandon said...

The head gear is nothing.

Try getting all of the sensors glued onto you when you have what can best be described as a pelt. Then try getting them off. Bring a bunch of razors.

Pammy said...

I've been scheduled for two studies and cancelled 'em both. I decided that, while I know I have sleep apnea, I'm positive that I'd never be able to fall asleep while hooked up to all the gear during the test so they could determine what kind I have. Even if I WAS able to be diagnosed, I'm pretty positive that I could never fall asleep while wearing a CPAP or APAP machine.

Besides that, it IS a bit better since I've lost some weight...I'm hoping it'll disappear altogether if I keep it up. (fingers crossed)

Richmond said...

Good grief! And you can sleep with all of that?

Anonymous said...

Imagine sleeping in one doctor-proscribed position while somehting that looks like the facehugger from "alien" wrapped around you. I'd have more luck with scorpions strapped to my face.

Anonymous said...

At least you know, now. It IS such a strange process though. It's almost freakish, in a sense.

Whatever works, right?

Elisson said...

Been there, done that.

Yes, you can fall asleep with all of those electrodes attached to you.

And if you even suspect you have sleep apnea, get a sleep study and get treatment! That shit's serious. I discovered that my blood oxygen levels were dropping so low, my heart rhythms were changing - there was a very real possibility that I would wake up dead.

Don't screw with sleep apnea. There's treatment available, and it can save your brain cells...and your life.

Apu Mridha said...

I have been down that road ... so, i know that feeling .. :(

Thanks for sharing.