Drive-Bys

Yeah, sure. Right. Like I'm going to believe this.

Until they can prove they've cleaned up their inspection standards, I'm still boycotting Chinese imports.

(A tip of the cap to the Instapundit.)

Drive-Bys

The answer is no. Pure and simple.
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You Are 68% Capitalist, 32% Socialist

In general, you support a free economy and business interests. You tend to think people should fend for themselves, even when times get tough. However, do think the government should help those who are truly in need.

Are You a Socialist or Capitalist?

Yep.
_____

My BlogDaddy knows me well. So well, in fact that he pointed me here with a note that it was "right down [my] alley".

Me want.

With autopilot and cup-holder options, natch.
_____

Quote of the Day:

Just when you think she can't elevate her game any higher, she straps on a rocket pack and shoots up into the fugtosphere.

Those chicks slay me.

Drive-Bys

I am a Leo. Yes, I am a lioness. And he can be my lion-whisperer any time he wants. Yuuuuuh-mee!

Bus Fumes

You still think the whole tainted Chinese imports thing is a coinky-dink? Yeah, right. Check out this and this. I'm telling you, if one of their products won't kill you, another one will. Let's see...

So far we've got tainted pet food, fish, toothpaste, honey, cough syrup and cosmetics, lead paint on toddler toys and defective tires. And they don't want us telling them that they need to meet our standards for their exported goods... not their own.

Oh, yeah... and if that doesn't convince you that they most certainly should not have most favored nation status with us, zip on out and buy this month's special edition of Vanity Fair, dedicated to all things African. Flip to page 126 for Enter China, The Giant, an article about China's interference in Darfur and why we can't get the U.N. to get involved more and tell me if that doesn't steam your Dim Sum.

Feels like Chinese water torture to me -- drip... drip... drip....

I'm still boycotting. How about you?
_____

I rarely ever disagree with Dr. Helen, but this post made me more than a little bit crazy.

Why?

First, a little background -- one of my million past careers was working as a legal secretary to a family law attorney. He was a good guy, and tried to deal fairly with parties on both sides of the equation. I know that people who go through divorces and don't go through mediation rarely , if ever, fight fair. Women lash out emotionally and do stupid things with their kids. Men fight like ninjas -- lightning fast and blindingly strong -- economically. Yep. Women aim for the emotional balls and men wield or withhold the wallet.

Still, I was also lucky enough to see some couples who were willing to put their personal differences aside and go through mediation, not because it was the easier thing to do (in fact, for many the impulse was to either kick ass and take names or run for the hills), but because it was the right thing to do for the benefit of their kids.

I also was married a million years ago to a guy with two kids from a previous marriage. This was a U.S. Air Force TSgt. who'd voluntarily done two tours of duty in Viet Nam. A guy who'd been Kennel Master at Kadena Air Base in Okinawa. A guy who'd been on the cover of Stars and Stripes as an Outstanding Airman of the Year.

Yes. All those things. But also the same guy for whom it was "too painful" to pick up a phone and call his own children, even though the kids were dying to hear from him. A guy who let me write the support checks and buy the holiday cards and gifts for the kids. To wrap them for the kids. Who practically forced him a gunpoint to sign the damned things. Who packed them up and shipped them off because it was "just to emotional" for him to do.

When his older child ran away from home so she could live with us, I was the disciplinarian, the bad guy who made us go to family counseling, the one who made her go to school every day, and who blew a major gasket when we found out she'd been seen, more than once, sneaking around the barracks in nothing more than a t-shirt and a skimpy pair of panties... and she was only sixteen. For her father, it was just too hard to look in her eyes and tell her that her behavior was unacceptable, and it would have to change.

In the end, he lost his kids because it was "just too hard" to reach out and be the dad they wanted him to be. And one of the big reasons he lost me is that I lost a tremendous amount of respect for him over this.

You don't get a pass on being a good parent just because it's "too hard" or "it hurts."

Spare. Me.

Yes -- I gave a child up for adoption. YES -- I made sure she had two wonderful parents who'd be exactly the kind of parents I wanted for her and couldn't be, due to circumstances that I could not change. No -- I never said, "Oopsy! Changed my mind." That's not responsible birth parenting, either. And, yes -- not doing that hurt like hell, too... but I gutted it out anyway, because I knew it was the right thing not to do.

When I was faced with being the responsible person, or knowing my stepchildren would be going without, I stepped up to the plate and did what needed to be done. Regardless of the fact that had no blood ties and no legal responsibility to them, their mother was angry as hell at my ex and he was guilty as sin about not being a good father, and it was not their fault that their own parents couldn't or wouldn't get their shit together.

I know it's been a year since Old Crankypants has been gone, but he and I once had a very intense email correspondence back and forth one of the times when he was blaming his young son for not seeing him more. I remember writing the words, "Who's the adult and who's the child here, Rob?" His answer was typical Rob -- "Fuck you."

And you know what? I lost a ton of respect for Rob the man that day. Rob the writer, I'll always admire, Rob the singer, son and grandson, too.

But not Rob the father. And not my ex-husband. And not any parent, father or mother, who gives up on their responsibility to their own children.

As adults we have a ton of resources including friends, family, counselors, priests, pastors, and pets to turn to for comfort. Hell, we can even pick booze or drugs or gambling or hookers for that matter.

But when our children turn to us for comfort and reassurance, they should damn sure find it when they ask for it.

Just who is the parent, and who is the child here?

Drive-Bys

Quote of the day:

Your opening slavo (sic) is fired: A sloppy wet fart with a solid-shot closer. I laugh and show you the power of Advanced American Foodstuffs.

Go read it all. I laughed so hard I had tears running down my face. This is truly Og-worthy stuff.

Drive-Bys

I'll bet I know somebody who'd like one of these for his collection of all things piratical!

_____

This gave me the giggles. And yes -- I can drive a stick, thank you.
_____

Ah! So it's not about the safety. It's all about the money.

This is Chicago... and it should come as no surprise.
_____

Thanks to Jay Solo and our discussion of the Chinese zodiac Blogthing, I stumbled across this gem of a description of those of us born in the Year of the Dog:

"Because they genuinely feel they know best, they can sometimes appear bossy." (Emphasis mine.)

Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahaha!!!

It had to have been written by someone born in the Year of the Dog. Of course we're not bossy. It only appears that way.

(And, man, does the truth hurt.)

Drive-Bys

Heard outside my window at 1:30 in the morning. Two guys are having a discussion, mostly muttered. Suddenly, very clearly in Skaterdude best:

"You know he said, it's like, 'You know,' you know?"

And I'm all like, say what? You know?
_____



But then, you already knew that.

(A tip of the cap to Chickie Carmarthen, who managed to skew her own score wildly this week.)
_____

Statues. Red Rover. Capture the Flag. Cowboys and Indians. Huckle Buckle Beanstalk.

What did you play when you were a kid? (You were a kid once, weren't you?)
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It's really nice when a romantic relationship ends -- for whatever reason -- and you loose the significant other, but retain the wonderful family.

The Sweetheart of Shell Knobb, MO and her Big-Hearted Beau rock righteously... and it was wonderful to see them again!
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What Your Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwich Means

Your eating style is reserved. You are a bit of a fussy eater, and you have very specific ways you like your food prepared. You don't really have a sweet tooth. If you go for dessert, you tend to go for something light. Your taste in food tends to be quite eclectic and wide. You are an adventurous eater, and you like many types of cuisines. You belong to a class that's all your own. You resist rules and traditions of any sort. You are a tough person who isn't afraid to live life fully. There isn't a lot that scares you. Precise and controlled, you can be a bit anal retentive when it comes to how you like things. You're definitely a perfectionist.

What Does Your Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich Say About You?

Huh.
_____

You Should Have Been Born Under:

You are totally loyal, faithful, and honest. However, you don't trust others to be as ethical as you are! Straight forward and direct, you really aren't one for small talk. You are a great listener - and an agreeable companion when you're in a good mood! You are most compatible with a Tiger or Horse.

What Year Should You Have Been Born Under?

Now that's just spooky as hell.
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You Are a Normal Girl

You are 50% Good and 50% Bad Sure you've pulled some bad girl stunts in your past. But these days, you're (mostly) a good girl.

Are You a Good Girl or a Bad Girl?

That must explain the PG rating above. Booooo-ring.

Chartered Excursions -- Chicago

Here's the latest poop on Ogmeet '07, which will be held in Naperville, IL over the weekend of July 6th. If you're around, you should join us. Cool peeps, every one.

Drive-Bys

I finally figured out where this guy's favorite blog fodder goes searching for baby names.
_____

I woke up at 3:14 a.m. with the Worst Earworm Ever stuck in my brain. I've had the radio commercial for this company rattling 'round upstairs ever since. Never really was able to get to sleep again, either.

An earworm about a Freudian psychiatrist consulting with his client, "Mad Max Madsen" (who never speaks a word), over the telephone, set to bad music. That's just sick.

Drive-Bys

Hah! The numbers don't lie.
_____

Meme Meme Meme...

THE "LALOLKFATYK" MEME

From New Yawk to Jawja to Joisey to Bahston to Tejas to Stillman Valley to the wilds of Canada, all the cool kids are doing this meme. What's it meme... er... mean? Learn A Lot Of Little Known Facts About Those You Know.” Egads. It's a long one, too. Anyhow, here are the rules:

When you get done reading about my quirks, answer the questions yourself and either post them on your blog or in the comments below. If you answer the meme on your blog let me know so I can sneak a peek.

Lord knows I never break a rule:

WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Yes. A friend of the family and a business acquaintance. Both of them men. Same with my middle name, Meredith, which can also be masculine or feminine.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
This morning, watching this YouTube video. I'm a sap for stuff like this. I freely admit it.

DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Not so much. I generally print if I have to hand write anything, and it's usually all in caps. Since a good deal of my employment revolves around how fast and accurately I can type, I prefer a keyboard to a pen or pencil.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
New York style hot pastrami piled high on soft, dark rye bread, slathered in spicy brown mustard. Bliss. Pure bliss.

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Yes, I do. If you'd have asked me that question six months ago, I'd have had a difficult time answering that. Thank Yaweh, she found me.

IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Well, I would hope so. I'm a pretty easy person to get along with.

DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
On the blog, yes. In person... I tend to use a lot of humor, but not necessarily sarcasm. When I infrequently pull that weapon out of my arsenal, many folks are surprised.

DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Nope. Offered 'em up involuntarily when I was seven. Believe me, no kid volunteers for that, no matter how much ice cream they bribe you with.

WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Not on your Nelly. Parasailing -- maybe. Paragliding -- definitely. I just like the idea of having a chute.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Honey Bunches of Oats. Any flavor.

DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
I rarely wear lace-up shoes. Sandals, flip-flops and mules figure highly in my shoe wardrobe.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
I must be. How else would I have made it this far on my own?

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Godiva White Chocolate Raspberry.

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Whether they look me straight in the eyes or straight in the boobs. Speaks volumes, don't you know?

RED OR PINK?
Meh. Green. New leaf green.

WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
Anxiety attacks. I don't get the kind that whomp you over the head; I get the kind that sneak up on you. Then the spiral begins -- I know I should call the doctor and get a new prescription, but my doctor's practice just sold and I can't just call him to get a 'scrip for Ativan anymore, so.... I know I need to make an appointment with the new doc, but she'll want to do a complete physical and the thought of that just ratchets up the panic, so then I start avoiding people because it's hard enough to hold it together at the office, sometimes I just can't do it outside of work, then the phone calls start from my family and I don't return their calls because I don't want them to know I'm having panic attacks, but of course they do. And my eating habits suffer -- I'll go to the fridge or go to a restaurant where they have perfectly delightful food and know that I'm hungry and need to eat, but all of a sudden I lose my appetite and close the fridge or walk out of the restaurant. Launder, rinse, repeat. And so it goes.

Sigh.

If you've never had 'em, I envy you.

WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
My father. My Great Aunt Dorothy and Great Uncle Aldy. My Auntie Francis. My dear friend Claude. Lily.

WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Washed denim crops with turquoise and green tropical embroidery; brown Mephisto Adamas. Mmmmmm! Comfy shoes!

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
An Anaheim Scrambler from Corner Bakery. (Yes -- it's worth the extra few cents!)

WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
The sound of pages turning in cubicles and offices to either side of me.

IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Sorry. I don't want to be just one color. I'd rather be the box of 96.

FAVORITE SMELLS?
Angel. Clothing fresh from the clothesline in the summer time. Apple pie baking. The Divine Miss Marilyn when I kiss her between the ears. The funky smell of these two wild things after they've been playing like mad and we all end up in a heap together. An ocean breeze. Blommer's chocolate factory first thing in the morning on a cold day as I'm crossing the river from the train station to my office building.

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
The Sweetheart of Shell Knob, MO! I'm so excited! I'm going to see her next week!

FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Who can pick? I'm not big into fishing or hunting shows, but I'll watch just about anything else.*

HAIR COLOR[S]?
Urk. I really do need to get myself off to a salon. Several shades of medium brown with a little red showing through... and silver roots that are screaming for immediate attention. [Note to self -- Make hair appointment.]

EYE COLOR?
Green.

DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Nope.

FAVORITE FOOD?
Any pork product except head cheese. Cheese of almost any variety. Pistachios. Olives.

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Scary movies give me nightmares. Happy endings preferred.

LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
In the theatre? That would be Serenity. No. I don't get out to the movies very often.

WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Peridot green.

SUMMER OR WINTER?
All four seasons.

HUGS OR KISSES?
Yes, please!

FAVORITE DESSERT?
Cheese, fresh fruit and biscuits.

MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Moogie. Meezer Mom Mary. LadyGunn.

LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
My Fairy Blogparents.

WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Hit Parade by Lawrence Block.

WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."--Groucho Marx

WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?
No T.V. at Chez Omnibus. Haven't had one in almost a year.

FAVORITE SOUND[S]?
Any good, tight harmony. "Please." "Thank you." "My treat."

ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
The Beatles.

WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
In the Americas -- Costa Rica. In Europe -- the Loire Valley in France.

DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I can pick up and sing harmony to almost anything. I hear harmony before I hear melody.

WHAT IS A PLEASANT SURPRISE?
Running into or hearing from someone you haven't seen in a long time.

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
In Cambridge, Massachusetts at Mount Auburn Hospital.

WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
Anyone who wants to play.
_____

*If I'm anywhere near a television, that is.

Tootin' the Horn

Woot! My pal Pammy's getting hitched.

Heartiest of congratulations to you and Ziggy!

Drive-Bys

Now there's a novel excuse -- "It was hot and so was she/he!" Yep. Just blame it on science.
_____

Need another reason to join the boycott of all imports from China? Try this. And this.

I'm beginning to really get creeped out by this. Who needs WMD when they can just sneakily poison us, our children and our pets with everyday products, a little bit here... a little bit there....
_____

I defy you! Come and kneel

before

Omnibus Driver!

Which movie was this quote from?

Get your own quotes:

(Thanks, Christine. I was in hysterics over this.)
_____

Pssst! If you're the one who sent me the subscription to Gourmet Magazine, thanks from the bottom of my heart (and stomach). But it would be really, really nice to know who you are so I can properly thank you!
_____

Quote of the day:

I think you need to warn people. Get him a customized collar or something. Something like, "WARNING: POOPS WHEN LIVID."

Hah! Made you laugh!
_____

How weird is this?

Drive-Bys

When I was in high school, my church youth group once raised money by buying an old, beat-up clunker of an automobile and holding a car bash to raise money to fund retreats and other stuff.

I guess this must be the... ummm... grown-up version?
_____

Call me crazy, but why aren't guys like this getting life behind bars?

Not 25 years. Not 35 years. Not 45 years.

Life, without the possibility of parole.

And throw their behinds into the general prison population and let nature take its course.

Another candidate? This guy, who apparently thinks he's bulletproof. Who let him out on bail in the first place, damn it?
_____

Les Moonves is an ass. I don't dislike Katie Couric because she's a woman. I've been clear in my disdain for her for years. I didn't watch the Today Show from 2003 through 2006. I celebrated like a crazy person when she finally left the Today Show.

Les? I heartily dislike her because she's become plastic over the years. Arrogant, too.

She's the world's worst interviewer, because she hogs the entire interview -- no one can get a word in edgewise when she's on a roll. She has repeated asked inappropriate and highly insensitive questions in her interviews... and then not shut the hell up long enough to give her interviewee time to adequately respond. Uck. And she preens in her chair while she's doing it. Gag. Me.

Les? There are those of us out here who don't care how you restructure that broadcast. As long as she is sitting in the anchor chair, I won't be watching. If she was a male anchor, instead, and the same type of bullying, preening boor, I wouldn't watch him, either.

Update: And it's not because I'm jealous, either. There are a lot of female broadcasters that I highly respect. It's just this particular specimen I despise.
_____

Speaking of bullying, preening boors... Phil Rosenthal rips him a new one, so I don't have to.

Beautiful.
_____

Well if India has the good sense to hold China's feet to the fire, why can't we?

Rubber-Necking

Aha! It takes someone who works closely with children to reveal the secret of V-Man's creativity.

If only he'd know the monkey's name is Spanky.

Heh.

Tootin' the Horn

RSM, I salute you.

You meet some damned fine folks through blogmeets, but you, my friend, are the finest of the fine.

Bus Fumes

Want another good reason to boycott Chinese imports of any kind?

Fine.

Go feast your eyes on this.

Bastards.
_____

This would be very helpful in my boycott of all things Chinese, indeed:

Amid concerns about the safety of pet food ingredients and catfish from China, consumers and even a few members of Congress are wondering why there isn't a law that requires merchants to label where food comes from.

The short answer: There is. And there has been since 2002.

The more complicated answer is that what Congress passes, Congress can take away. The requirement for "country-of-origin labeling"—or COOL, as Washington knows it—for food products was postponed a year after its adoption, due to heavy lobbying from food groups saying the law was unnecessary and expensive.

Who needs new laws when just enforcing the ones we have would be so helpful?

(A tip of the cap to Elizabeth, who from a long, long way away steered me to an article in my own local paper. Who'd a thunk it?)
_____

Drive-Bys

I love these blogthings. So sue me, okay?

You Communicate With Your Ears

You love conversations, both as a listener and a talker. What people say is important to you, and you're often most affected by words, not actions. You love to hear complements from others. And when you're upset, you often talk to yourself. Music is very important to you. It's difficult to find you without your iPod.

How Do You Communicate?

Except for the iPod, that's pretty accurate.
_____

You Are 76% Lady

Overall, you are a refined lady with excellent manners. But you also know when to relax and not get too serious about etiquette.

Are You A Lady?

_____

You Don't Have a Big Mouth

In fact, you like to keep your life very private. You figure that your personal life is no one's business. And if people try to pry, they'll end up unsuccessful. You're a big mystery to people - and that's fine by you!

Do You Have a Big Mouth?

And that's the straight-up truth.
_____

Omnibus Driver -- [noun]: A person with a sixth sense for detecting the presence of goblins 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Because all the cool kids are doing this one.
_____

MISSING: Omnibus Driver

Was last seen speaking in tongues

'What will you last be seen doing?' at QuizGalaxy.com

_____

From the Rowdies in the Back of the Bus

That silly, silly Nancy V. sends me this little message:

This coming week is National Mental Health Care week. You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.

Well, my job is done .....Your turn!

Thanks a million, Nancy. As for the rest of you -- pass it on.

Drive-Bys

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Blame it on the Ambulance Driver, okay?

Drive-Bys

I got mine -- go get your own!

(A tip of the cap to Eric Zorn.)
_____

Quote of the day:

I know full well I'm expected to Suspend My Disbelief. Unfortunately, my disbelief is very heavy, and during "Ocean's Thirteen," the suspension cable snapped.

Pure, classic Roger Ebert!
_____

Hmmmmmmmmm:

You scored as Remus Lupin, You are a wise and caring wizard and a good, loyal friend to boot. However sometimes in an effort to be liked by others you can let things slide by, which ordinarily you would protest about. Remus Lupin 95% Hermione Granger 90% Sirius Black 70% Ron Weasley 70% Harry Potter 70% Ginny Weasley 70% Albus Dumbledore 65% Severus Snape 60% Draco Malfoy 55% Lord Voldemort 15% Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...? created with QuizFarm.com

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Tootin' the Horn

A little birdie told me...

... a lovely Texas gardener is having a birthday today. Big hugs to you, Nancy!

(And a tip of the cap to Mary Saxon Griffin for the lovely photo!)

Drive-Bys

I've hit Mach III and there's not a damned brass ring in sight anywhere...

(A tip of the cap to CNE Media, who perfectly portrayed how my week is going so far.)

Drive-Bys

Wow! Here's an entire blog dedicated to one of Nature's Perfect Foods.

Bacon.

Yummy, yummy bacon.

Tootin' the Horn

This is a huge thank-you to Christine for the lovely, lovely package that arrived Friday!

The earrings are perfect, and the bracelet is like wearing a mountain stream on my wrist -- all clear blue waters, green moss, stones, speckled trout and box turtle colors. The pearls remind me of sunbeams on moving water.

And my extra treat? Girlfriend, you are the bombitty-bomb. I adore pearls, especially in such gorgeous shapes and colors.

If you keep this up, I may just have to go buy this, too.

Bus Fumes

Oh, fer cripes sake! Enough with the political correctness already.
_____

Well isn't this warm and fuzzy news. I'm checking labels from now on. No buying anything made in China until their safety standards improve radically.
_____

Well isn't this just ducky. I know I kidded around about this by dubbing round-ups of the various posts and articles on the subject the Carnival of the Khakis... but it's inconceivable that we'll never know just which documents he stole and/or destroyed.

Drive-Bys

The Confabulator wants his car to have a cool name, so he's holding a name-that-car contest.

My vote?

Based on the description of his vehicle, I think it should be named Maxine.

Appropriate, don't you think?
_____

Here we go again. And again I ask -- why are we still allowing Chinese products to be imported into our country?

Road Conditions

Driving in Chicago this summer? Then my friend Pam says:

I thought you should know It has been reported that the police have vans stationed at the following locations as you drive south on the expressway:

> 22nd and Cermak
> 69th and the Dan Ryan
> 95th and or 99th and the Dan Ryan
> 119th and the Dan Ryan (the Dan Ryan ends at 99th Street . . . so this can either be at 119th & The Bishop Ford Expressway or 119th & I-57).

I wanted to give you all a heads up on what's going on in the city on the Dan Ryan now. It seems there are ordinary looking vans, maybe white, parked at different locations along the Ryan. If you are speeding, whether it's 1 mile an hour over or 20, doesn't matter. It takes a picture of the front and back of the car and automatically sends out a ticket. The city is racking up. So, SLOOOOOOOOWWW DOWNNNNNN!! Unless you have $405 to throw away.

Get the word out. Since so much construction is going on, the van appears to be part of that, but it's not. Be careful!!!

This is what she's talking about.

From the Rowdies in the Back of the Bus

The Sweetheart of Shell Knob, MO, a former Chicagoland resident, sends this little gem:

Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, Wisconsin is planning to do its own entitled "Survivor - Wisconsin-Style"....

The contestants will start in Milwaukee; travel up to Sheboygan and on to Manitowoc and Green Bay. Then they will head over to Wausau and up to Rhinelander and Minocqua. From there they will proceed up to Ashland and Superior. Then back down through Rice Lake, Eau Claire, and all the way down to Madison and back over to Milwaukee.

Each contestant will be driving a pink Volvo with Illinois license plates and a large bumper sticker that reads: Brett Favre is Gay. I'm a vegetarian. Bratwurst clogs your arteries. The Green Bay Packers suck. Go Bears! Cheese is high in cholesterol. Hillary in 2008. Deer hunting is murder and I'm here to confiscate your guns.

The first one that makes it back to Milwaukee alive WINS! Good luck to all contestants.

_____

TEST YOUR EYES !!

Can you find the B (there are 2B's)?

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

*Once you’ve found the B,* *find the 1*

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII1III
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

*Once you found the 1,* *find the 6*

9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999699999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999

*)nce you’ve found the 6,* find the N (it's hard!!)

MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMNMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM

*Once you've found the N,* find the Q*

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOQOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

_____

A bit of advise from Elizabeth:

If you sometimes get the sudden urge to run around naked, drink some Windex.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

It will keep you from streaking.

_____