Happy New Year!
Bus Fumes
Apparently this guy hasn't seen this. What incredible bollocks. Great big brassy ones. (A tip of the cap to Jeff Jarvis.)
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Drive-Bys
Boy, I'll bet this would be a great service. I wish we had something like that here in Chicago.
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I'll be damned. Big Brother really is watching. (Spooky.)
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Speaking of spooky stuff, this really kind of creeps me out.
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Dear God, will this guy never go away?
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How the MSM justifies itself: "According to a report from the Pew Research Center for the People and the Press, 36 percent of Americans now want the news they consume to reflect their own viewpoint on politics and other issues." Egads.
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I'll be damned. Big Brother really is watching. (Spooky.)
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Speaking of spooky stuff, this really kind of creeps me out.
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Dear God, will this guy never go away?
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How the MSM justifies itself: "According to a report from the Pew Research Center for the People and the Press, 36 percent of Americans now want the news they consume to reflect their own viewpoint on politics and other issues." Egads.
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Wide Open Spaces
Opportunity has had a chance to revisit and inspect its heat shield landing site. Great photos!
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Vision. Strong scientific skills. Guts. That's what it'll take to lead NASA into the future.
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This is suprising? This is news? It really must be a slow week.
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Vision. Strong scientific skills. Guts. That's what it'll take to lead NASA into the future.
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This is suprising? This is news? It really must be a slow week.
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Drive-Bys
Have you ever read Flax's blog? If not, you should. She's a true artist -- visually and lyrically.
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PSA
So Americans are stingy, huh? Then how come so far we've managed to raise over $1,800,000 for the American Red Cross disaster relief program for East Africa and Southeast Asia? And that's just donations from individual people like you and me.
Once again, I've put my money where my blog is. You can, too. If you want to donate, but would rather chose another agency, go and visit The Command Post for lots more links.
Update: Holy Toledo! The Amazon.com site now shows over $2,600,000 has been donated. That's over $800,000 in a little less than four hours. Tell me again how stingy this country is.
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Once again, I've put my money where my blog is. You can, too. If you want to donate, but would rather chose another agency, go and visit The Command Post for lots more links.
Update: Holy Toledo! The Amazon.com site now shows over $2,600,000 has been donated. That's over $800,000 in a little less than four hours. Tell me again how stingy this country is.
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Wide Open Spaces
Cassini has sent back more photos of Titan. Gorgeous!
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This would be a very good thing, indeed. Go here for before and after photos. My God.
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This would be a very good thing, indeed. Go here for before and after photos. My God.
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End of the Line
Oh, no! TV, film and stage have lost a wonderful actor. Godspeed, Mr. Orbach.
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There's a reason I haven't been posting anything about this: too many others are doing it better, and I'm too heartsick to join in with them. My prayers are with them all.
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There's a reason I haven't been posting anything about this: too many others are doing it better, and I'm too heartsick to join in with them. My prayers are with them all.
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Wide Open Spaces
The larder is once again stocked on the International Space Station. Just in time. Whew!
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Speaking of close calls, here's more relieving news.
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What a neat Christmas gift for Titan! (Some folks at the UA are white-knuckling the landing.)
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What is lightning like on Saturn? Strong! Really strong.
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Speaking of close calls, here's more relieving news.
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What a neat Christmas gift for Titan! (Some folks at the UA are white-knuckling the landing.)
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What is lightning like on Saturn? Strong! Really strong.
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Drive-Bys
See? There really are angels all around us.
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News of my Christmas tomorrow... Hope all of you had as one equally terrific as mine.
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News of my Christmas tomorrow... Hope all of you had as one equally terrific as mine.
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Roadside Diversions
The Bread Master himself is hosting the Carnival of the Cats this week. Go take a peek.
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If that doesn't get your attention, I'll bet the Carnival of Sin will. (It's not my fault. Blame it on the Manolo.)
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Now put your eyeballs back in your head and go visit the Carnival of the Dogs.
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If that doesn't get your attention, I'll bet the Carnival of Sin will. (It's not my fault. Blame it on the Manolo.)
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Now put your eyeballs back in your head and go visit the Carnival of the Dogs.
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From the Rowdies in the Back of the Bus
Okay. The Evil White Guy finally made me snork coffee right across the room. Who dreams up this stuff, anyway?
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Tim Blair has a roundup of quotations from 2004, by month. Take your time. Read'em all.
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Tim Blair has a roundup of quotations from 2004, by month. Take your time. Read'em all.
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Traveling Companions
With all of the animals in this world who are euthanized because no one will adopt them, why in the world is this necessary?
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While these boys are not in danger of euthanization, they are looking for a forever home. And if you've never had a Devon, you have no idea how much you're missing.
If you're in the Northern California bay area, maybe you should check them out.
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Catfish gets kittens and Acidman has a cow. I'd have paid good money to be a fly on the wall for that one.
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Asparagirl is blogging about cats and Middle East politics. Just go there.
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While these boys are not in danger of euthanization, they are looking for a forever home. And if you've never had a Devon, you have no idea how much you're missing.
If you're in the Northern California bay area, maybe you should check them out.
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Catfish gets kittens and Acidman has a cow. I'd have paid good money to be a fly on the wall for that one.
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Asparagirl is blogging about cats and Middle East politics. Just go there.
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Wide Open Spaces
Here's another argument that, if they don't exist now, there's no reason that little green squeegee men might not exist there some day. How cool is that?
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So how exactly is the Huygens probe getting to the surface of Titan? Find out here.
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New pix from the Orion nebula. Beautiful!
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Whoops? (A tip of the cap to the Instapundit.)
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So how exactly is the Huygens probe getting to the surface of Titan? Find out here.
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New pix from the Orion nebula. Beautiful!
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Whoops? (A tip of the cap to the Instapundit.)
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Bus Fumes
Finally! Someone who despises Her Perkiness as much as I do!
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Not everyone is happy to sit on Santa's lap. (A tip of the cap to Andy.) In fact, some little ones seem to feel about Santa the same way I feel about Her Perkiness. Or Wankette. Gah!
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There's an operative phrase missing in this story. It's "more than it is already prejudiced." The courts are going to have a hell of a hard time finding a jury that can be at all impartial in this trial. The ex-Gov, I believe, is going to go down in flames.
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Some fools never know when to just zip it.
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Oh. One more thing on the reporting from Mosul. The AP is not your friend. Who's paying these AP reporters? Al Jazeera?
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Not everyone is happy to sit on Santa's lap. (A tip of the cap to Andy.) In fact, some little ones seem to feel about Santa the same way I feel about Her Perkiness. Or Wankette. Gah!
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There's an operative phrase missing in this story. It's "more than it is already prejudiced." The courts are going to have a hell of a hard time finding a jury that can be at all impartial in this trial. The ex-Gov, I believe, is going to go down in flames.
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Some fools never know when to just zip it.
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Oh. One more thing on the reporting from Mosul. The AP is not your friend. Who's paying these AP reporters? Al Jazeera?
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Holiday Schedule
Blogging will be light to non-existent this week due to my typical pre-Christmas "ain't got my shopping done yet" state of panic. Yup. It just wouldn't be the holidays without a self-induced panic attack or two. That's my pattern and I'm sticking to it. (And I'll get everything done, just like I always do.)
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In the meantime, here's my Christmas card to you.
Merry Christmas!
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One more thing -- this is pretty well right on the money:
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In the meantime, here's my Christmas card to you.
Merry Christmas!
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One more thing -- this is pretty well right on the money:
| You Are a Christmas Sweater! |
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What Crappy Gift Are You?
Heh!
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Bus Fumes
Just how bad was it over in Mosul? Let Chaplain Lewis tell you. Oh. And you'd better have a hanky on hand when he does. (A tip of the cap to the Instapundit.)
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Thomas Wolfe finally got what he deserved.
I've never understood the appeal of his work. Hell, I read close to 300 books a year, and I could NOT get through "The Bonfire of the Vanities," even though I tried on three separate occasions.
His work is just ghastly. Glad I'm not the only one who thinks so!
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Thomas Wolfe finally got what he deserved.
I've never understood the appeal of his work. Hell, I read close to 300 books a year, and I could NOT get through "The Bonfire of the Vanities," even though I tried on three separate occasions.
His work is just ghastly. Glad I'm not the only one who thinks so!
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Wide Open Spaces
Well, isn't this cool? Baby galaxies. I like that.
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The Huygens probe is set to detach from the Cassini orbiter in order to land on Titan. I can't wait to see what it finds.
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The International Space Station should be visible over the holidays.
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Speaking of the ISS, food supplies are really dwindling up there. Scary, huh?
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Opportunity gets a Martian car wash? Eeeek. Maybe there really are little green men... who just happen to tote around Windex and squeegees.
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Here are some amazing photos of the Cassini/Huygens mission. Be sure to scroll down for the slide show.
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The Huygens probe is set to detach from the Cassini orbiter in order to land on Titan. I can't wait to see what it finds.
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The International Space Station should be visible over the holidays.
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Speaking of the ISS, food supplies are really dwindling up there. Scary, huh?
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Opportunity gets a Martian car wash? Eeeek. Maybe there really are little green men... who just happen to tote around Windex and squeegees.
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Here are some amazing photos of the Cassini/Huygens mission. Be sure to scroll down for the slide show.
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Bus Fumes
She's back, and she's still fuming. (Nobody does it better.)
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So who says a girl has to choose? Can't we like both? A lot? Sheesh. Some guys have no imagination.
You see, first we have to decorate the boudoir so that it is a bower of sensual pleasures... then we grace it with our most enthusiastic presence.
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So who says a girl has to choose? Can't we like both? A lot? Sheesh. Some guys have no imagination.
You see, first we have to decorate the boudoir so that it is a bower of sensual pleasures... then we grace it with our most enthusiastic presence.
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Wide Open Spaces
Woot!
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Mars was home to water at one time.
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Russia and NASA are working together on the next Mars rover.
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Mars was home to water at one time.
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Russia and NASA are working together on the next Mars rover.
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Rules of the Road
Rule #1 -- The Manolo, he must make you shoot the coffee out of the nose at least once of the day.
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Roadside Diversions
Go visit the Carnival of the Cats for some fuzzy feline warmth.
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If money warms your heart more than kitties do, then the Carnival of the Capitalists is for you.
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And if you don't want to warm your heart, but do wish to warm your tummy, then stroll on by the Carnival of the Recipes.
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If money warms your heart more than kitties do, then the Carnival of the Capitalists is for you.
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And if you don't want to warm your heart, but do wish to warm your tummy, then stroll on by the Carnival of the Recipes.
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From the Rowdies in the Back of the Bus
I hate snakes. Any snakes. This is a good example of why:
Just A Little Snake...
Green garden grass snakes can be dangerous, Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes.
A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of potted plants, and during a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze. It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants and when it had warmed up, it
slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream.
The husband who was taking a shower ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa.
He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it.
About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the leg. He thought the snake had bitten him and he fainted. His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she called an ambulance. The attendants rushed in and loaded him on the stretcher and started carrying him out.
About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is in the hospital.
The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor. He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch.
Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief. But in relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa, and the neighbor, seeing her laying there passed out tried to use CPR to revive her.
The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches. An ambulance was again called and it was determined that the injury required hospitalization.
The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed he had been bitten by the snake. She went to the kitchen, brought back a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.
By now the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the two women tried to explain how it all happened over a little green snake. They called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.
Just then the little snake crawled out from under the couch. One of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table that was on one side of the sofa. The table fell over and the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb broke, it started a fire in
the drapes.
The other policeman tried to beat out the flames and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog, who startled, jumped up and raced out into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car and set it on fire. Meanwhile the
burning drapes had spread to the walls and the entire house was blazing.
Neighbors had called the fire department and the arriving fire-truck had started raising his ladder as they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and put out the electricity and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area.
Time passed. Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was re-built, the police acquired a new car, and all was right with their world.
About a year later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The husband asked his wife if she thought they should bring in their plants for the night. She shot him.
(Thanks for the belly laugh, Elizabeth!)
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Just A Little Snake...
Green garden grass snakes can be dangerous, Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes.
A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of potted plants, and during a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze. It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants and when it had warmed up, it
slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream.
The husband who was taking a shower ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa.
He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it.
About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the leg. He thought the snake had bitten him and he fainted. His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she called an ambulance. The attendants rushed in and loaded him on the stretcher and started carrying him out.
About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is in the hospital.
The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor. He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch.
Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief. But in relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa, and the neighbor, seeing her laying there passed out tried to use CPR to revive her.
The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches. An ambulance was again called and it was determined that the injury required hospitalization.
The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed he had been bitten by the snake. She went to the kitchen, brought back a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.
By now the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the two women tried to explain how it all happened over a little green snake. They called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.
Just then the little snake crawled out from under the couch. One of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table that was on one side of the sofa. The table fell over and the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb broke, it started a fire in
the drapes.
The other policeman tried to beat out the flames and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog, who startled, jumped up and raced out into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car and set it on fire. Meanwhile the
burning drapes had spread to the walls and the entire house was blazing.
Neighbors had called the fire department and the arriving fire-truck had started raising his ladder as they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and put out the electricity and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area.
Time passed. Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was re-built, the police acquired a new car, and all was right with their world.
About a year later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The husband asked his wife if she thought they should bring in their plants for the night. She shot him.
(Thanks for the belly laugh, Elizabeth!)
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Traveling Companions
Elizabeth sent me this missive regarding Iris and Fern giving Christmas decorating assistance. Since Marilyn thinks she's a member of the Flying Wallendas, this is exactly why I don't have a tree.
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BTW -- if the American Idle can get his cats neutered in a field hospital in Sumatra, you can take yours to the vet. Just do it.
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BTW -- if the American Idle can get his cats neutered in a field hospital in Sumatra, you can take yours to the vet. Just do it.
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Bus Fumes
Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If we're going to court martial soldiers, let's not let it be for using their ingenuity, for cripes sake!
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I don't know if it was Brent Bozell... or maybe John Ashcroft... but some rightwing numbnuts is carping to the FCC about this. (Personally, I'm betting on Ashcroft, who has shown a propensity for draping the undraped in the past.) Ahhhh -- it was about art and culture. Grow up, will you?
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I don't know if it was Brent Bozell... or maybe John Ashcroft... but some rightwing numbnuts is carping to the FCC about this. (Personally, I'm betting on Ashcroft, who has shown a propensity for draping the undraped in the past.) Ahhhh -- it was about art and culture. Grow up, will you?
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Wide Open Spaces
Be sure and catch the Geminids meteor shower tonight!
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No more Hungry Man dinners for the crew of the ISS -- just Lean Cuisine from now until the rescue ship arrives.
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Cassini is set to do one last flyby of Titan. More of Saturn's moons can be seen here.
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Good. NASA needs someone with a lot more vision for the future and a lot less focus solely on the bottom line. Bottom line-limited vision is counterproductive to creativity and growth.
See? Even Lair agrees on this point.
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No more Hungry Man dinners for the crew of the ISS -- just Lean Cuisine from now until the rescue ship arrives.
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Cassini is set to do one last flyby of Titan. More of Saturn's moons can be seen here.
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Good. NASA needs someone with a lot more vision for the future and a lot less focus solely on the bottom line. Bottom line-limited vision is counterproductive to creativity and growth.
See? Even Lair agrees on this point.
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PSA
See the Spirit of America's Friends of Iraq Blogger Challenge here. Pick a group, any group to support, and then make a donation. Even five bucks will work.
There. Didn't that make you feel better?
(And, yes. I put my money with my blog is.)
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There. Didn't that make you feel better?
(And, yes. I put my money with my blog is.)
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Rubber-Necking
I'll bet he didn't have an explanation for this. At least not one he'd ever care to confide.
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True confessions: When I was five years old, I disappeared into my parents' bathroom for about 45 minutes. My mother discovered me just as I was finishing smearing the last little bit of a brand new one pound jar of petroleum jelly on my head.
What???
Welllllllllll -- I thought it was a beauty product. (Thank Yahweh I've improved my grooming skills since then.)
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True confessions: When I was five years old, I disappeared into my parents' bathroom for about 45 minutes. My mother discovered me just as I was finishing smearing the last little bit of a brand new one pound jar of petroleum jelly on my head.
What???
Welllllllllll -- I thought it was a beauty product. (Thank Yahweh I've improved my grooming skills since then.)
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From the Rowdies in the Back of the Bus
The Manolo, he makes your Omnibus Driver have the many of the fits of the giggles.
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Elizabeth chimes in: FORMER 'JEOPARDY' CHAMP LOSES ARGUMENT WITH WIFE
Had Won Previous 74 Spats
Former "Jeopardy" champion Ken Jennings suffered another setback today, losing his first argument with his wife after winning an impressive seventy-four consecutive spats with her.
The victory streak began late last year, according to an associate of Mr. Jennings, when his wife told him to take out the garbage and he replied, "What is, 'I already did'?"
After Mrs. Jennings discovered that her husband had, in fact, already taken out the garbage, the "Jeopardy" master was on a roll, besting his wife in quarrels about doing the dishes, balancing the checkbook, and a host of other domestic bones of contention.
"Ken basically has been infallible for the last year or so," the associate said. "But once he blew that answer on 'Jeopardy' last week, his wife clearly saw a chink in the armor."
Mr. Jennings went down to defeat against his wife late Saturday night when she informed him that her mother would be staying with them for the holidays, to which Mr. Jennings responded, "What is, 'Over my dead body'?"
But before the erstwhile game-show champ could claim victory, Mrs. Jennings shot back, "What is, 'Go screw yourself, Ken'?"
According to Mr. Jennings' associate, the "Jeopardy" whiz has taken losing the argument with his wife "in stride."
"The pressure of winning fights with his wife was getting to be too much," the associate said. "I get a sense that Ken is relieved to have this streak business behind him."
Elsewhere, after a surprisingly testy exchange with troops in Iraq, the Pentagon announced the immediate withdrawal of Donald Rumsfeld.
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Holy Toledo! My sister sent this (and I never get jokes from my busy, busy sister):
Holiday Eating Tips:
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"
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Not to be outdone, Nancy V. sends this list: Here are 10 things to say when caught sleeping at your desk.....
10. "They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen."
9. "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time management course you sent me to."
8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the Whiteout. You probably got here just in time."
7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new business strategy."
6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."
5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?"
4. "Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out how to handle that big accounting problem."
3. "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?"
2. "Who put decaf in the wrong pot?!?"
NUMBER ONE best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk........
1. Raise your head slowly and say, "...in Jesus name, Amen."
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Harvey posts fun (and very little known) facts about Christmas here.
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Elizabeth chimes in: FORMER 'JEOPARDY' CHAMP LOSES ARGUMENT WITH WIFE
Had Won Previous 74 Spats
Former "Jeopardy" champion Ken Jennings suffered another setback today, losing his first argument with his wife after winning an impressive seventy-four consecutive spats with her.
The victory streak began late last year, according to an associate of Mr. Jennings, when his wife told him to take out the garbage and he replied, "What is, 'I already did'?"
After Mrs. Jennings discovered that her husband had, in fact, already taken out the garbage, the "Jeopardy" master was on a roll, besting his wife in quarrels about doing the dishes, balancing the checkbook, and a host of other domestic bones of contention.
"Ken basically has been infallible for the last year or so," the associate said. "But once he blew that answer on 'Jeopardy' last week, his wife clearly saw a chink in the armor."
Mr. Jennings went down to defeat against his wife late Saturday night when she informed him that her mother would be staying with them for the holidays, to which Mr. Jennings responded, "What is, 'Over my dead body'?"
But before the erstwhile game-show champ could claim victory, Mrs. Jennings shot back, "What is, 'Go screw yourself, Ken'?"
According to Mr. Jennings' associate, the "Jeopardy" whiz has taken losing the argument with his wife "in stride."
"The pressure of winning fights with his wife was getting to be too much," the associate said. "I get a sense that Ken is relieved to have this streak business behind him."
Elsewhere, after a surprisingly testy exchange with troops in Iraq, the Pentagon announced the immediate withdrawal of Donald Rumsfeld.
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Holy Toledo! My sister sent this (and I never get jokes from my busy, busy sister):
Holiday Eating Tips:
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"
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Not to be outdone, Nancy V. sends this list: Here are 10 things to say when caught sleeping at your desk.....
10. "They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen."
9. "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time management course you sent me to."
8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the Whiteout. You probably got here just in time."
7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new business strategy."
6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."
5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?"
4. "Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out how to handle that big accounting problem."
3. "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?"
2. "Who put decaf in the wrong pot?!?"
NUMBER ONE best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk........
1. Raise your head slowly and say, "...in Jesus name, Amen."
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Harvey posts fun (and very little known) facts about Christmas here.
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Traveling Companions
Creation: According to the Cat
On the first day of creation, God created the cat.
On the second day, God created man to serve the cat.
On the third, God created all the animals of the earth to serve as potential food for the cat.
On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the cat.
On the fifth day, God created the sparkle ball so that the cat might or might not play with it.
On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the cat healthy and the man broke.
On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but, alas....
He had to scoop the litter box.
(Thanks, Nancy!)
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Traveling with your pets to the UK? Here's how to avoid that whole quarantine rigamarole. After all, a traveling companion -- dog, cat, birdie, hamster, iguana -- whatever -- should be able to travel with you. (A tip of the cap to Shell.)
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Tiger Boots likes to sleep on top of the covers, between my feet. Marilyn likes to sleep under the covers, snuggled against my stomach. Even so, I'm not really looking forward to the day when they meet and fight for queen of the bed supremacy.
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On the first day of creation, God created the cat.
On the second day, God created man to serve the cat.
On the third, God created all the animals of the earth to serve as potential food for the cat.
On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the cat.
On the fifth day, God created the sparkle ball so that the cat might or might not play with it.
On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the cat healthy and the man broke.
On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but, alas....
He had to scoop the litter box.
(Thanks, Nancy!)
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Traveling with your pets to the UK? Here's how to avoid that whole quarantine rigamarole. After all, a traveling companion -- dog, cat, birdie, hamster, iguana -- whatever -- should be able to travel with you. (A tip of the cap to Shell.)
_____
Tiger Boots likes to sleep on top of the covers, between my feet. Marilyn likes to sleep under the covers, snuggled against my stomach. Even so, I'm not really looking forward to the day when they meet and fight for queen of the bed supremacy.
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Wide Open Spaces
Birth of a solar system -- beautiful!
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Is it time to scrap SETI? Some scientists think so. I've always wondered how we'd really know, even if we were receiving messages from out there in universe.
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Will the space station mission be interrupted due to overeating?
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Is it time to scrap SETI? Some scientists think so. I've always wondered how we'd really know, even if we were receiving messages from out there in universe.
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Will the space station mission be interrupted due to overeating?
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Bus Fumes
The latest shining example of flaming ass-wiggery can be found here. We may as well sterilize everyone in the entire country right now, as one more parental right is taken away... BUT ultimate responsibility for the actions of underaged children still rests solely with the parent.
You can't discipline your kid. You can't listen in on their calls. What's next? Can't monitor their internet activity?
Zero population growth? Hell, if this keeps up, we'll be at negative popluation growth because it just won't be worth it to try and bring up a child.
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It's a sad day when we have to pass a law to prevent this kind of stuff. I guess there's really no stopping a determined pervert, especially given today's technology.
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I think this is a great idea... but wouldn't this be violating the little darlings' privacy in Washington State?
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Then again, every time I think Americans have really gone over the top, the Brits manage to go us one further. Sheesh.
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Another argument for mass sterilization as a remedy to terminal assinity.
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You can't discipline your kid. You can't listen in on their calls. What's next? Can't monitor their internet activity?
Zero population growth? Hell, if this keeps up, we'll be at negative popluation growth because it just won't be worth it to try and bring up a child.
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It's a sad day when we have to pass a law to prevent this kind of stuff. I guess there's really no stopping a determined pervert, especially given today's technology.
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I think this is a great idea... but wouldn't this be violating the little darlings' privacy in Washington State?
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Then again, every time I think Americans have really gone over the top, the Brits manage to go us one further. Sheesh.
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Another argument for mass sterilization as a remedy to terminal assinity.
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Traveling Companions
Sweetness spied me from down the block this morning, even before I could make clucking noises. He startled the hell out of the people who were walking half a block ahead of me by making a beeline straight for me. (Me, too.) He seems to have convinced his gray compatriots that I'm okay, as well, as a couple of them also came up to greet me -- much closer than usual. I'm almost afraid not to have a baggie of goodies in my purse at this point.
Squirrel blogging. I must be nuts. (In fact, I need nuts. Filberts, almonds and walnuts are on the grocery list for tonight.) They've got me well trained.
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Squirrel blogging. I must be nuts. (In fact, I need nuts. Filberts, almonds and walnuts are on the grocery list for tonight.) They've got me well trained.
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The Mom Update
Great news! Mom had her second chemo treatment yesterday, and the oncologist is ecstatic that she's shown NO SIDE EFFECTS so far. Monday she goes for a blood test, and if all goes well, she's back for another round of chemo the week after that.
Your prayers are working. Keep'em coming. (Pretty please.)
Whoohoo!
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Your prayers are working. Keep'em coming. (Pretty please.)
Whoohoo!
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PSA
The Letter Project is only at 10% of its goal. Won't you help? C'mon. Do a good deed. Write a letter. Give yourself a warm, fuzzy feeling.
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Wide Open Spaces
John W. Young, NASA's longest-serving astronaut, is set to retire. I salute you, sir.
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How a "safe haven" could help save Hubble.
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Eek. That's not something you'd want to miscalculate.
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Here's more on the hot potato Hubble issue.
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How a "safe haven" could help save Hubble.
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Eek. That's not something you'd want to miscalculate.
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Here's more on the hot potato Hubble issue.
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Bus Fumes
Who's deciding what we get to watch on TV? Apparently it's Brent Bozell. (Would somebody please tell this nitwit that I don't need a nanny, I don't want a nanny and he is not the boss of me?)
What Acid-Dude said goes for me, too.
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And what's on American TV is tame compared to what the Brits find fascinating fare. Egad.
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What Acid-Dude said goes for me, too.
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And what's on American TV is tame compared to what the Brits find fascinating fare. Egad.
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Roadside Diversions
There are a boatload of Carnivals today:
Carnival of the Liberated
Carnival of the Capitalists
Carnival of the Cats
Carnival of the Dogs
Carnival of the Rugrats
Grand Rounds
Asian Roundup
A "carnival" of poems regarding Iraq
If you can't find at least one diversion among them, there's something seriously wrong with you.
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Haven't had enough yet? There's also the Story Blogging Carnival.
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Carnival of the Liberated
Carnival of the Capitalists
Carnival of the Cats
Carnival of the Dogs
Carnival of the Rugrats
Grand Rounds
Asian Roundup
A "carnival" of poems regarding Iraq
If you can't find at least one diversion among them, there's something seriously wrong with you.
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Haven't had enough yet? There's also the Story Blogging Carnival.
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Rules of the Road
I don't know why readers are asking QT for the correct usage of the "the" (scroll down to the bottom of both columns). They should be asking the Manolo, who is the last word in the usage of the "the".
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Makin' a List; Checkin' it Twice
This is most definitely on my Xmas list. In fact, anything from this page would be the super fantastic gift.
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Got Woot?
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Got a favorite charity? Go to iGive.com, sign up and indicate your favorite charity. A portion of every purchase you make through iGive will then go to the charity of your choice. Nice.
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Got Woot?
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Got a favorite charity? Go to iGive.com, sign up and indicate your favorite charity. A portion of every purchase you make through iGive will then go to the charity of your choice. Nice.
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Book Your Ticket
One of my favorite authors is blogging! She's fearless and she's funny. Go take a peek. (A tip of the cap to the Goddess of Venom.) Damn. Now I need to fire up the ole' Amazon.com account...
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I'm getting out the cattle prod here. Mr. Martin, I've been a good girl and I've been waiting patiently for a long time. May I please, please, please, please, PLEASE have a hint as to when "A Feast for Crows" is going to hit the shelves? I've already gone back and read the first three twice.
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Another one of my favorite authors is Janet Evanovich... but I've got a message or two for her:
1. Let Stephanie grow up a bit. You'd think by now she'd be gaining a little competence.
2. Please -- one book where somebody else blows up a car for a change.
3. The eye-rolls and mental head slaps are getting old. The main character in every one of your novels does them. New idiosyncrasies, please.
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I'm getting out the cattle prod here. Mr. Martin, I've been a good girl and I've been waiting patiently for a long time. May I please, please, please, please, PLEASE have a hint as to when "A Feast for Crows" is going to hit the shelves? I've already gone back and read the first three twice.
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Another one of my favorite authors is Janet Evanovich... but I've got a message or two for her:
1. Let Stephanie grow up a bit. You'd think by now she'd be gaining a little competence.
2. Please -- one book where somebody else blows up a car for a change.
3. The eye-rolls and mental head slaps are getting old. The main character in every one of your novels does them. New idiosyncrasies, please.
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Wide Open Spaces
Mars attacks?
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U.S. and China begin cooperative space exploration program.
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The mission is clear for the Huygens probe to land on Titan.
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U.S. and China begin cooperative space exploration program.
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The mission is clear for the Huygens probe to land on Titan.
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Traveling Companions
I live in a long-established neighborhood on the north side of Chicago. We have tons of mature trees, and a boatload of squirrels -- one of whom is a bit unusual. I've gotten into the habit of carrying some almonds, filberts and walnuts in my purse so that I can feed the little buggers on my way to the train in the morning.
The gray squirrels are pretty skittish around people, and you have to toss the nuts a few feet away before they'll come pick them up. But my little buddy Sweetness (yes, he's named for the great football player -- he's black, he's fast, and nobody is getting a hand on him) is completely different. I've started clucking my tongue as I get close to his end of the street, and he now associates the noise with the booty. This morning he ran halfway down the block to meet me, and sat right at my feet. Smart boy.
I can't figure out where he came from. But wherever he's from originally, I'm sure glad he's in my neighborhood now.
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The gray squirrels are pretty skittish around people, and you have to toss the nuts a few feet away before they'll come pick them up. But my little buddy Sweetness (yes, he's named for the great football player -- he's black, he's fast, and nobody is getting a hand on him) is completely different. I've started clucking my tongue as I get close to his end of the street, and he now associates the noise with the booty. This morning he ran halfway down the block to meet me, and sat right at my feet. Smart boy.
I can't figure out where he came from. But wherever he's from originally, I'm sure glad he's in my neighborhood now.
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Bus Fumes
I've been afraid of this for some time now. We Americans are dangerously arrogant in our assumption of our own superiority.
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The Mom Update
Just got off the phone with the Princess Mom. Good news! She just had her first round of chemo yesterday, and experienced no side effects. In fact, she feels so good that she's off to a potluck supper at church tonight, and is going golfing tomorrow.
Five more weeks of this to go. Let's hope she continues to feel this good, and that the chemo works.
Keep those prayers coming. They work. I know. (And I thank you from the bottom of my heart.)
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Five more weeks of this to go. Let's hope she continues to feel this good, and that the chemo works.
Keep those prayers coming. They work. I know. (And I thank you from the bottom of my heart.)
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Bus Fumes
Just because the technology is possible doesn't necessarily mean it's a good idea to depend entirely upon it. Sheesh.
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Now the major networks want to put training wheels and panic breaks on our ability to think for ourselves. Nanny, nanny, nanny. Ugh.
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Now the major networks want to put training wheels and panic breaks on our ability to think for ourselves. Nanny, nanny, nanny. Ugh.
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The End of the Line
God bless you, Sgt. Engeldrum. I hope you're sleeping in the arms of the angels now. Godspeed, indeed.
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Roadside Diversions
Whoohoo! It’s coming, and I’m going. (This exhibit was here back in my college years, and I didn't get to see it then. I'm so excited.)
Update: More details here. I'm doing the happy dance...
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Not interested in King Tut? Then maybe you'll find something of interest over at the Carnival of the Vanities.
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Update: More details here. I'm doing the happy dance...
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Not interested in King Tut? Then maybe you'll find something of interest over at the Carnival of the Vanities.
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Rubber-Necking
Stupidity compounded... with interest.
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This was written by Americas No. 1 Singles Expert? Ha. Hahahaha. Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaha!!! You must be joking. Really. (A tip of the cap to J-Walk.)
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This was written by Americas No. 1 Singles Expert? Ha. Hahahaha. Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaha!!! You must be joking. Really. (A tip of the cap to J-Walk.)
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