Drive-Bys

GoDaddy.com's customer service department lies:

We've received your question. You can expect a response within 24 hours.

Your Incident ID is: XXXXXXX

Or, talk with our highly trained, courteous support staff – they're waiting to take your call. Whatever time it takes to assist you, that's the time you'll receive: 24/7 Sales & Support: (480) 505-8877 - 24/7 Billing Support: (480) 505-8855.

Thanks,
GoDaddy.com

Hah! I got NO assistance from their Sales & Support line, and, in fact was told that I had to track down the account owner yesterday. Adding insult to injury, more than 24 hours since I first started trying to fix this mess, I still haven't gotten word that this has been resolved.

Don't do business with GoDaddy.com. Those douche bags are not careful with sensitive client data and their customer service stinks.

Update: Just to make sure I'm 100% accurate here, it's now been over 24 hours since the email answering my email to GoDaddy's customer service, sent almost 5 hours after my initial email, was received. I said it before and I'll say it again -- if you're doing business with GoDaddy, you are nuts.
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Real cringes? Lemme see...

I'm guilty as hell of #1 -- usually in harmony, and never quietly. (Just ask this guy. He's my most recent witness.) It makes me happy.

#2? Occasionally guilty. Big fat hairy deal. I also over use elipses.

#3? Nope. Whatever praying I have to do is between my Maker and me alone.

#4? WGN Channel 9 (news and Bozo's circus), CBS Channel 2, NBC Channel 5 and some crazy cable access channel back in the early 90's to promote this cat club's shows. (Admitting to belonging to a cat club? Now there's cringe-worthy!) But why stop there? I've also been on the radio a gazillion times, again promoting the cat show, but most recently doing a little segment for Drunks in the News. Shameful, I know, but hella fun.

#5? Never going to happen in this world or the next.

What's your definition of cringe-worthy?
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The scientifically proven ultimate hangover cure? A bacon sandwich! (Bacon! Yummy, yummy bacon!)

However, I think Friendly's new Grilled Cheese Burger Melt may just take second place...



... followed by the KFC Double Down...



Yep. All you'd need to complete the cure is an order of onion rings and big tall glass of ice cold milk.
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I was never a Jerry Seinfeld fan before, but I think I just became one:

Twelve days after Lady Gaga wound up in his box at Shea Stadium during a Mets game, Jerry Seinfeld has called her “a jerk” and then some. Joking or no? Read and decide.

“This woman is a jerk. I hate her,” Seinfeld said during a WFAN radio interview on Monday, perhaps . “I can’t believe they put her in my box, which I paid for.”

Gaga, dressed in bra and swilling beer, was moved from her front row seat to Seinfeld’s empty box (without his knowledge) after flipping off photographers.

“You give people the finger and you get upgraded? Is that the world we’re living in now?” he said.

Seinfeld first said when asked about the June 10th incident, reports the NY Post, “I wish her the best.. you take one ‘A’ off of that and you’ve got gag.”

“I don’t know what these young people think or how they promote their careers,” Seinfeld said. “I’m older, I’m 56. I look at Lady Gaga the way Keith Hernandez watches these kids when they pull the pocket out, they wear the inside-out pocket. … Do you think he understands that? He can’t understand that. That’s a new game, that’s kids.”

He added, “I’m not one of these all-publicity-is-good people. People talk about you need exposure — you could die of exposure.”

You go, sir!
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In another stunning example of the Dunning-Kruger Effect, the federal goverment halts the dredging of sand berms in Louisiana the same day the cap was removed from the leaking well in the gulf.

No matter how you slice it or dice it, dredging sand berms can't be any more harmful than letting that gusher continue to flow unabated.

Smooth move, folks. I grant you major style points for the sheer breathlessness and sweeping scope of your complete and utter incompetency.
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Ear Worm of the Day:



Name the writer.
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Giggle of the Day:


see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Road Conditions

Oh, joy!

Dear Tenants,

The National Weather Service has issued the following weather warning & information for our area:

Severe Thunderstorms Expected, High Winds and Hail Possible

Strong thunderstorms are expected to arrive in the city between 4:00 and 7:00pm. The storms have the possibility of damaging winds and large hail. Depending on how the storms develop, winds could reach 70 mph. To view live weather radar, follow this link to: National Weather Service Radar.

Please disseminate this information to your employees and take the necessary precautions.

That ought to make the commute home interesting. (And it's the second time in a week, thank you very much.)

Around here every idiot who should never have received a drivers license, much less a set of car keys, inevitably picks weather like this to drive in.

Be careful on your way home, will you?
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Update:

Tornado Watch Issued - Severe Thunderstorms Expected, High Winds and Hail Possible

From the National Weather Service:

A tornado watch has been issued for Cook County until 9:00 PM.

A severe thunderstorm is expected to hit the North Central area of Illinois near Rockford between 2:00 and 5:00pm. Chicago will have approximately 30 minutes advance notice before the storm strikes here somewhere between 4:00 and 7:00pm.

The storm will be fast moving and may only last 30-45 minutes. It will be accompanied by 70 mph winds, hail (the size of a quarter) and heavy rains. The rainfall is expected to be 1-2 inches per hour. The heat index is expected to reach 100 degrees this evening (as well as on Sat and Sun). This storm will be very similar to the one that came through last Friday.

Yippee!

I wasn't kidding -- be careful on your way home!

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Update: Another first -- tornado sirens just went off. I've been working in and around the Loop since 1989, an it's the first time I've ever heard that.

Drive-Bys

Customer Clusterf*ck:

I don't know what the folks at GoDaddy are thinking these days, but they've lost Joanie as a new customer through sheer ineptitude, and, if my own freaky experience with them in the past couple of days is any indication, there's no way I'd ever become a customer, either.

Here's the deal -- if you have a screen name of "POTATOB75" and are GoDaddy Customer No. 64814403, you should drop me an email (omnibus dot driver at gmail dot com). I have your login name, your receipt number and know exactly how much you spent for your site because the good folks at GoDaddy texted it to my cell phone -- twice.

I tried calling GoDaddy and explaining to them that they needed to update their records and notify the correct account holder.

GoDaddy's customer service rep ever so helpfully informed me that I would have to contact the account holder, as they had no way of even opening the account information without the verification number given at the time of sale.

[Bangs head repeatedly against monitor!!!]

I dutifully called the two different numbers GoDaddy appeared to be texting (a different one in each text message), only to find that neither puzzled woman had any idea of what I was talking about, and had no business with GoDaddy.

[Bang, bang, BANG!!!]

I emailed all of this to GoDaddy's customer service folks, got a computer-generated response saying I'd hear back from them within 24 hours. NOT.

Seriously, if you're doing business with this company, WHAT are you thinking?
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Oooooooooooo! Pretty!
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Giggle of the Day... for my friend in the Cheese Aisle:


see more Lolcats and funny pictures
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Quote of the Day:

Dunning and Kruger argued in their paper, “When people are incompetent in the strategies they adopt to achieve success and satisfaction, they suffer a dual burden: Not only do they reach erroneous conclusions and make unfortunate choices, but their incompetence robs them of the ability to realize it. Instead, like Mr. Wheeler, they are left with the erroneous impression they are doing just fine.”

It became known as the Dunning-Kruger Effect — our incompetence masks our ability to recognize our incompetence.

And, no -- they're not talking about Obama and his band of merry morons. Then again, maybe they are. Think I'm kidding?

And now, there's the Kyl controversy. On June 18, Kyl told a town meeting in North Phoenix that Obama personally told him the administration will not secure the U.S.-Mexico border because doing so would make it politically difficult to pass comprehensive immigration reform. "I met with the president in the Oval Office, just the two of us," Kyl said. "Here's what the president said. The problem is, he said, if we secure the border, then you all won't have any reason to support comprehensive immigration reform."

"In other words," Kyl continued, "they're holding it hostage. They don't want to secure the border unless and until it is combined with comprehensive immigration reform."

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This shouldn't have made me giggle... but it did.
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Thinking about buying an ebook reader? The prices are going down!

(Short of the phone call telling me my daughter was trying to find me, my Kindle is the best Christmas gift I've ever gotten.)
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Ear Worm of the Day:

Quick Stop

You know I'm a sucker for a love story, and this is a beauty:



Adorable, no?
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Ear Worm of the Day:


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Bus Fumes

I kid you not, Governor Giveaway has some 'splaining to do. He can find $6 million to spend on the Museum of Broadcast Communication, but he doesn't have $380,000 to stop this:

With nine months of unpaid bills, one Illinois residential treatment center says it has no choice but to start discharging profoundly emotionally disturbed children.

Letters were sent this month to seven Chicago-area families, giving them 30 days to pick up their children.

"It was a very difficult decision … but the lack of payment is starting to affect other kids," said Debbie Reed, president and CEO of Chaddock, a residential treatment center in the downstate city of Quincy. "It's really a matter of stewardship."

The Illinois Department of Human Services owes Chaddock more than $370,000 for seven students in the state's Individual Care Grant program, which provides funding for residents with severe psychosis who cannot function at home. The facility has not been paid since September, "which makes it impossible for us to continue to serve ICG youth with no indication of when or if we may be paid," Reed wrote in the letter to parents.

Nor $1 million to pay for this...

The Sonia Shankman Orthogenic School in Chicago's Hyde Park community is owed more than $1 million for its 20 ICG students, said co-director Diana Kon, who acknowledges she's under pressure from her board to also terminate services for kids with ICGs.

"I don't want to be the one who closes a school that has been open for 100 years," she said. "We are scrambling to keep the lights on, the doors open and services up and running."

While there are many youths across the state with behavioral issues, those supported by Individual Care Grants have generally failed at every previous placement, said Ray Connor of Oak Park, who started the ICG parents group almost a decade ago.

"These are the most severe kids who are placed here for safety issues," Connor said. "They require 24-hour supervision."

Mark my word, that asshole's going to use this as an excuse to raise taxes. He's an impulse purchaser with this state's tax dollars at the expense of every day budget items, and that simply must stop.

I'm not 100% nuts about Bill Brady and some of his far right whackadoodlery, but at least he's fiscally conservative.

I cannot and will not vote for Quinn in November. His irresponsible spending habits are everything that's wrong in Springfield in a nutshell.

Down Memory Lane

Things about Darling Daddy:

He loved Big Band music, especially Glen Miller...



... Tommy Dorsey...



... and Benny Goodman.



His favorite actresses were Grace Kelly...



... and Veronica Lake (his No. 1).



His favorite song and his favorite singer?



Sentimental? You bet he was, and, almost 11 years since he's been gone, I still miss him terribly.

Make sure you tell your father you love him today and every day

Saturday Ramblings

Hmmmm...

YOUR SCORE

Your scored -1.5 on Moral Orderand -5.5 on Moral Rules.

The following categories best match your score (multiple responses are possible):

1. System: Liberalism
2. Ideology: Progressive NeoLiberalism
3. Party: Libertarian Party
4. Presidents: Bill Clinton
5. 04' Election: Michael Badnarik
6. 08' Election: Ron Paul

Of the 617,119 respondents (11,288 on Facebook):

1. 4% are close to you.
2. 9% are more conservative.
3. 5% are more liberal.
4. 45% are more socialist.
5. 39% are more authoritarian.

Next Steps

1. What does this mean?
   Start with Political Systems.
2. Take our quick survey.
3. Tell your Facebook friends.
4. See the overall distribution.

PROGRESSIVE NEOLIBERALISM

Progressive NeoLiberalism is a moderate form of Economic Liberalism.

Neoliberalism is a political philosophy and a political-economic movement beginning in the 1970s that de-emphasizes or rejects government intervention in the economy, focusing instead on achieving progress and even social justice by more free-market methods, especially an emphasis on economic growth, as measured by changes in real gross domestic product.

Progressive Neoliberalism is Neoliberalism associated withnon-conforming moral values.

Sounds about right to me, except for the presidential choices, which are not even close.

(Scooped from ALa... who I found via Tammi who finally got a new blog. Yay!)

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Giggle of the Day:

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Charlie Delta's cat has reason to question! (See?)

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I am a sucker for a love story, and this one is better than most. (Have a hankie handy.)

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What's your poison pickle? If it's half sour or garlic dill, go see Elisson. If it's bread & butter, on the other hand, go see Deb.

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This looks truly awful:

Even the synopsis has "FAIL" written all over it:

What an incredible waste of fantastic casting!

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Saturday Morning Cartoons

Commercial Break:

Regular Programming:

Drive-Bys

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Jihad Gene says, "It's Friday! Let's Dance!" and he's doing it doggie style.

Alrighty then. I'll see your Gloria Gaynor and raise you a Mark and Julee Weems:



(Swiped gleefully from Patti.)

And what've you got?
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Giggle of the Day:


see more Lolcats and funny pictures
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Quote of the Day:

You might know Jesus, but that won’t stop you from getting Tasered.

Go see more of Spark Check here. He hasn't been blogging long, but, by jinkies, he's good.
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I wouldn't go on a Cougar cruise for anything. And I certainly wouldn't let anyone take my picture or interview me about the experience.

That's positively pathetic.
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I am not at all happy with either of Illinois' choices for senatorial candidates this year, but...

... if I have to choose between a guy with a decent congressional track record but a penchant for self-puffery and a guy who lent money to mobsters and lost family bank at great cost to the taxpayer, but who called it "selling" the bank, and who lost millions of taxpayer dollars by his mismanagement of a college savings fund and lied about the extent of the loss in his first elected position, well... I know who I'm not voting for.
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I found Buzz Aldrin positively creepy on this season's Dancing With The Stars... but his wife is truly a horror show. Is is me, or does she make drag queens look positively straight-laced?
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How many months into his term in office are we before he puts this policy in place:

Don't Pay Dead People

Swell. Nice to see that, as usual, he's on top of things.
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Saw this and thought of Elisson... who's now Lost in the Cheese Aisle (without his little white chune box, apparently...). Now that's a colander!
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Boy meets girl. What a cool story! (Any bets on this becoming, at a minimum, a movie of the week?)
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Road Conditions

Severe thunderstorms are currently moving across Iowa at 50-60mph, and are expected to hit Chicago between 4-5pm this afternoon. The storm is producing winds up to 70mph. Reports also predict possible hail the size of half-dollars and rainfall up to 2 inches per hour.

Lovely! Take public transportation if you can.
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Update: Boy oh boy, they weren't kidding. For the first time in all the years I've worked in this city, our office building did an announcement advising everyone to move away from the windows and into central corridors because they were concerned windows might break and glass might fly. It was really eerie watching the glass flex (and yes, I skedaddled into a safe place as soon as I witnessed that bit of oddity).

Hope you're warm, safe and dry wherever you may be tonight.

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Update II: See? It really was one helluva storm!

My Favorite...

...time of light.

Oops

This shouldn't make me giggle...



... but it did. It's all his fault.

Quick Stop

Giggle of the Day:

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Headline of the Day:

Scientists to analyse Ozzy Osbourne's genome to find out why he is still alive

Haaaaaaaaaahahahaha!!!
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From the Department of Damned If You Do and Damned If You Don't:

Scientists found that free-range eggs contain at least five times higher levels of certain pollutants than normal eggs.

Around 17 per cent of the free range eggs had levels that European regulators would have deemed unsafe for consumption....

Free-range chickens are those that have continuous access to fresh air, sunshine, and exercise, in contrast to chickens that are confined to cages.

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Tootin' The Horn

For Peedee...



You know why. (And forget the Apocalypse. It's Happy Dance time!)

That Blows My Skirt Up Chaps My Asphalt

"Meanwhile, I've been wrestling with Kong. For more than a week I've been pounding on the epilogue, but still can't get it to gel. This morning I put that aside for a bit and went back to rewrite a Tyrion chapter, and that's going much better.

Parts of me just got all tingly. EPILOGUE!

He'd better not be toying with me again...

(Don't get too excited over me mentioning the epilogue, please. I don't always write these chapters in the order you read them. The epilogue will close the book, but it won't be the last chapter written. For instance, the last chapter written on A STORM OF SWORDS was the Red Wedding)."

Oops. He is.

Bastard. Where's my fiance when I need him to give old George another swift kick in the tuchas?

Hmphf!

Drive-Bys

Going to the Dogs:


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Quote of the Day, Part 1:

You can't just walk up to the first person you see on the street and ask: "Would you like to blow my vuvuzela?"

That sort of thing could get you punched or arrested.

Somewhere in my box of photos, wherever I've hidden it from myself this time, I have a photo of Darling Daddy sitting cross-legged under the kitchen table with an aqua plastic colander on his head and tooting on a bright blue vuvuzela, much to the amusement of my nephew and his cousin. His employees would never have believed it in a million years, even with the evidence in hand. Must find....
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If you haven't seen the video of the policeman punching the teenaged girl, here you go:



If she was a he, there would be no uproar. As it is...

The American Civil Liberties Union, citing Seattle Police Office of Professional Accountability reports, said Seattle police have a long history of escalating jaywalking citations into force situations.

But O'Neill said the officer reacted the way he was trained, and the only reason the situation escalated was because of the alleged violators' actions. He repeated one question: Why didn't they comply?

"Let's put the accountability where it needs to be: They escalated the situation.

"You escalate a situation when you put your hands on a uniformed officer -- you have no reason to do that," O'Neill said. "There's no justification to ever do that. And when you make that decision to go down that road then the officer is going to resort to their training."

It's not appropriate for officers to just walk away when someone is assaulting them because the assailants are clearly a threat to others as well, O'Neill said. In the video, the alleged violators use explicit language insulting the officer.

I'm with the officer. There was no police brutality here, and no racism -- only pig-headed stupidity on the part of a couple of stupid kids. Being female doesn't give you a free pass, either.
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Quote of the Day, Part 2:

The next thing you know, they will be requiring the farmer to put pants on the male sheep after they are sheared, because everyone can see their balls.

The MeezerMom makes me laugh!

You Must Be Dreaming

I awoke this morning to realize that this song was repeated endlessly in my dream throughout the night:

But instead of with Muppets, it was with Koi:

I'm still scratching my head. Need. Coffee. Now.

Rubber-Necking

Tango... with pole.

(For Fausta.)

Quick Stop

OK Go strikes again:

Drive-Bys

Giggle of the Day:


see more Lolcats and funny pictures
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Ear Worm of the Day:



Blame it on Joanie, who mentioned diamonds and...

Ah, well.
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I am so freaking sick of rain I can't even tell you.

Find all weather maps >>

• Enter zip code:
• GO

77°

HI 72° | LO 62°

Cloudy

SUNRISE 05:15 am

SUNSET 08:29 pm

RECORD HIGH 95°, 1994

HUMIDITY 78%

PRESSURE 29.93 in. -

RECORD LOW 39°, 1909

9

mph

• 2 PM

  Thunderstorms,

  71°
• 3 PM

  Thunderstorms,

  71°
• 4 PM

  Thunderstorms,

  72°
• 5 PM

  Thunderstorms,

  72°

This is retribution for the beautiful April and May we had. I just know it.
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Comfort food. If I can't have sunny weather, at least I can have comfort food.

Lookie here: chocolate covered bacon caramels with sea salt and bourbon and black pepper truffles. (My knees just went wobbly.)

Oooh! Here's more indulgent goodness, courtesy of Kraft: Deli Deluxe Bacon Cheddar, Jalapeno American and Three Cheese Garlic and Herb! (Why, yes! I could use a drool bib right about now.) Print yourself some coupons here.
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You know, in the history books Obama is going to be seen as a money and power-grabbing finger-wagging, late-to-the-party incompetent; whereas Bobby Jindal will be remembered as the guy who said, "Screw waiting! We're going to fix this now and worry about who's going to pay for it later. Get moving, fellas."

Oh, and here's how our pals across the pond view Obama:

'Obama is the first US president who was raised without cultural or emotional or intellectual ties to either Britain or Europe. The British and the Europeans have been so enchanted with "America's first black president" that they haven't been able to see what he really is: "America's first Third World President."'

The sad thing is, they're not incorrect.
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