Rubber-Necking

Spray-on WHAT???? (The other ads are the page are equally gawk-inducing.)
_____

Tootin' the Horn

Score!

Someone in Dekalb needs to email me. There's a Potbelly's gift certificate in it for you!
_____

I'll never know how many actual hits I've had, as I didn't even install the site meter until I'd been blogging for over a year... but... 20,000. That's a lot of hits.

Each and every one of you who has dropped by have been and continue to be greatly appreciated!
_____

Sun of a gun! Another dear blogging friend is celebrating a big mile marker. Go send him warm farookin' wishes.
_____

Click here and find even more things to celebrate today!
_____

Rubber-Necking

Whoooooooooooweeee, Lawd! Mamacita delivers one phenomenal smack-down. I would not want to be in that kid's shoes today.
____

Drive-Bys

It's posts like this that give Scott Adams a permanent position on my blogroll. Side-splittingly funny.
_____

Hmmmm....

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Physical Touch
with a secondary love language being
Quality Time.

Complete set of results

Physical Touch:		8
Quality Time:		7
Acts of Service:		5
Words of Affirmation:		5
Receiving Gifts:		4

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

These things are spookily acccurate more often than not.

(A tip of the cap to the Desert Cat.)
_____

If Kate thinks not owning an iPod is a shameful secret, what in the heck would she think if she knew that I haven't had (or particularly missed) a television since the beginning of July? And I don't have a stereo in the house, either -- just a CD player in the car. My favorite forms of amusement? Either reading, or listening to talk radio. I'm living in the Dark Ages, I know...
_____

Makin' A List

I've been working on my Christmas list. In my stroll around the internet, I've run across a few unusual items that remind me of a couple of my pals.

For Dax, who bug blogs on a regular basis:


For Contagion and T1G, who beer blog from time to time:


For Yabu, who knows the true meaning of bad, bad juju:


For Mr. Debonnaire Hizzownself, I just couldn't choose between this:

And this:

The choice is a difficult one, no?


For Og. He knows why!


And for Livey, who crap blogs from the North Woods:

For JimmyB and Grau, because I love their sense of humor:
And for Velocidude:


I imagine we'll be hearing "wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" a lot at the next Jawja Blodgemeet.
_____

Gotta get back to my shopping...

_____

And wouldn't you know it? I found the perfect gift for Vicky's daughter.

Much better than a radiator!
_____

Back to shopping...
_____

Drive-Bys

It's amazing the things that'll dredge up memories.

It's things like this that remind me of Old Crankypants:

_____

A couple of Jedi tests for Deb and Barb:

Jedi Knight You scored 63 on the Force Sensitivity/Jedi Chart!
Other Jedi like you: Luke Skywalker, Mara Jade, Leia Organa Solo, Anakin Skywalker (before turn), Ki-Adi Mundi, Aayla Secura and Revan(after rescue) You are a Jedi Knight, the symbol of what is good and just in the galaxy. You are in control of your feelings though you may rarely do something considered dark or think of yourself before others. Hardly any darkness makes it through you. You are a very skilled fighter and have heightened mental and athletic abilities only other can dream of. You use your abilities not for yourself though but to help others, and while you have probably killed, it was either in defense of others or in defense of yourself. You prefer to negotiate or detain rather then kill as both give your soul much easier rest. You command the respect of a great many and as many Jedi were you are probably a high ranking officer in an army. You have little left to accomplish as becoming a Master is a matter of completely giving yourself to the Force and being respected by other Jedi. Teach yourself new things and seek out training you have not had yet and you may very well become a Jedi Master. Be wary of the Sith, as they will seek to destroy and those around you. ____________ Thank you for taking my test, if you have any comments, complaints or anything you'd like to see changed/added, please contact me through here or my email (zabomb56@hotmail.com).

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on Force Sense

Link: The Jedi Test written by zabomb on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

(Link restored)
_____

I am a Shadow Jedi leaning light

"Just push yourself a bit more and you can make it to be a light Jedi my friend! Remember to always keep your cool, and try to help others in need. By the looks of it you always wish to help people but would want to be left alone when you're down in the dumps and wouldn't want to be bothered."

True Jedi Test By Ocean-Saurian and PrincessLeia2
www.princessleia.com

(Link restored)
_____

Only a kick-ass gal like Nancy could find humor like this in the middle of being treated for a pulmonary embolism and a blood clot in her leg:

Lovely lady, my roomie. She was a little confused while I was there. All the while, the nurses and doctors and therapists would come in and assess her cognitively. One question came up again and again. "Do you know what the date is?" One time, she answered 1996. The doctor gently corrected her and told her that it was actually 2006. My dear roomie said, "Well. No wonder I'm so tired, traveling all that time at once." I wish I could have seen her doctor's face.

Go send her get well wishes.

(Sheesh. The things I miss when my life gets out of control. But, guys? Even if I'm not able to read your blogs, I'm checking email at least a couple of times a day. For goodness sake, please make sure to let me know about stuff like this in the future, okay?)
_____

This guy, on the other hand, always cracks me up: "Fuzzy crapper seat covers are the tool of satan."
_____

Bus Fumes

I don't know which of the stories in today's news stands my hair on end the most: this one? this one? Nope. Definitely this one.

I'm rendered completely speechless.
_____

Rubber-Necking

The Apocalypse must be near -- for once I am in total agreement with the Rev. Jackson. Behold:

"Black leaders on Monday challenged the entertainment industry, including rap artists, actors and major studios, to stop use of the racial slur that triggered the Michael Richards scandal." [Emphasis mine.]

_____

One more sign the Apocalypse is near?
_____

Drive-Bys

It's about damned time.

For those of us who can't take any form of hormone supplements or replacements (blood clots run in the family), this would be a Godsend.

And let's not even get into the shouldering responsibility equally discussion...
_____

Tootin' the Horn

I can tell I've been way too tied up for my own good when I miss this sweet friend's birthday.


I'm sorry I'm late, but sincere in warm and loving birthday wishes.
_____

Drive-Bys

Crazy week at the office
+
Moving and unpacking stuff I haven't looked at in 2 or more years...
...but needed right now
+
Putting together several pieces of furniture
(Fastest cordless screwdriver in Des Plaines!)
+
Cleaning up and throwing out packing materials
(Lots of packing materials)
+
Cleaning house
+
Cooking and serving Thanksgiving dinner for my family
=

Yes -- I feel (and look) like I've been run over by my very own Omnibus.

See you next week!

_____

Drive-Bys

And how's your day today?
_____

Bus Fumes

(Somebody forgot to tell my bosses that there's a holiday coming and things are supposed to slow down this week. Gahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!)
_____

Drive-Bys

That naughty Erica has tagged me with...

The Dueling Meme

Popcorn or candy? Popcorn! Extra butter and salt.

Name a movie you’ve been meaning to see forever: Who could pick just one? I’m waaaaaaaaay behind in my movie-going.

You are given the power to recall one Oscar. Who loses theirs, and to whom? Marlon Brando’s 1972 Best Actor award, which he refused. You don’t spit on the Academy. I would have given it to Paul Winfield for Sounder.

Steal one costume from a movie for your wardrobe. Which will it be? Glinda the Good Witch’s dress – including wand and tiara. Man, would TMBCITW love to see me decked out in that get-up!

Your favorite film franchise is… The old black & white Tarzan movies.

Invite five movie people over for dinner. Who are they? Why’d you invite them? What do you feed them? Bette Davis. Lillian Gish. Kathleen Turner. Brian Dennehy. Gregory Peck. Champagne, smoked salmon on toast points, caviar and blini, for starters. Who cares about the rest? Can you imagine the conversation? Who could focus on food at a time like that?

What is the appropriate punishment for people who answer cell phones in the movie theater? Death by Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator.

Choose a female bodyguard: Ripley from Aliens, Mystique from X-Men, Sarah Connor from Terminator 2, the Bride from Kill Bill, Mace from Strange Days. Eew! If I have to have a bodyguard, please can’t I have Kevin Costner?

What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever seen in a movie? Adam Sandler. No… wait! Dolly Parton and Sylvester Stallone together in a romantic comedy.

Your favorite genre (excluding comedy and drama) is? Buzby Berkley musicals.

You are given the power to greenlight movies at a major studio for one year. How do you wield this power? I round up all of my favorite authors and pair them with great screenwriters. Strong story lines with emphasis on character and plot, rather than special effects. Then I’d hand pick directors for each film, and give them free reign in casting selection, with incentives for finding fresh talent. No reruns. No derivatives.

Bonnie or Clyde? Who cares? Dead is dead.

Who are you tagging to answer this survey?

Sorry. Tag your own self, if you like.
_____

Drive-Bys

I have but one thing to say about this: Ick.
_____

The Princess Mom called me today to check and see if I had gotten the travel packet for our upcoming cruise yet.

Nope. I haven't received a thing.

Well, she said, that's odd. I've had my information packet for a couple of weeks already.

(Let's just say she was ready to hold a Southern Baptist tent revival-sized Come-to-Jesus meeting with her travel agent later today.)

Hmmm. At that moment I had a brainwave and asked her what address she had given the poor schmo.

Well, ____________________ Ave., Chicago. Why?

Ummm, Mom? I haven't lived at that address or in that city for well over a year. Helloooooo??? We spent how many weekends furniture shopping for a new apartment in what city this summer?

I swear she sounded just like Emily Litella: Oh. Never mind.

(And, no -- it's not old timer's disease. She's always been like this.)
_____

Karma. Ain't it a beautiful thing when it works?
_____

Rubber-Necking

TMBCITW...

and the MPAE....



... are convinced my real name is "Auntie Fun."

Any questions?
_____

Drive-Bys

Your Expression Number is 6

You have an outstanding sense of responsibility, love, and balance. You are helpful and inclined to comfort those in need. You have many artistic and creative talents, but you only use them to better others. You are loving, friendly, and appreciative of others. You have a depth of understanding that produces much kindness and generosity. Openness and honesty are apparent in your approach to all relationships. Sometimes, you can be too demanding of yourself. At times, you tend to sacrifice yourself for the welfare of others. At other times, you have trouble distinguishing between helping and interfering.

What's Your Expression Number?

Yeesh. These things sometimes strike awfully close to the bone.
_____

One more thing:

Your Quirk Factor: 57%

You're a pretty quirky person, but you're just normal enough to hide it. Congratulations - you've fooled other people into thinking you're just like them!

How Quirky Are You?

_____

Tootin' the Horn

I hear my pal Richmond has a thing for hot firemen. Who knew there was a whole band of 'em named in her honor?

I've handed them a request to play "Happy Birthday" for her. I'm telling you, that woman is an inspiration.

(Hey -- I'll do anything to make a pal happy!)
_____

Drive-Bys

Yessiree, I'm showing my roots:

Dude! You're 100% from Massachusetts!

Dude! Me and Sully and Fitzie and Sean are gonna hit Landsdowne tonight after the game, hang out at the Beerworks. I'll pick you up at the Coop at 6.

How Massachusetts are you?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Despite my accent, both my mother and my father graduated from Belmont High School and I was born at Mt. Auburn Hospital. Heh! I guess it really does show.

(Thanks, Jay! That was a wicked pissa, indeed. My rellies would be so proud.)
_____

Tootin' the Horn

Happy belated birthday to the Queen of Restroom Revelations, who certainly should have a special place of her own in the Hall of Fame!
_____

Drive-Bys

Right:

You are The High Priestess

Science, Wisdom, Knowledge, Education.

The High Priestess is the card of knowledge, instinctual, supernatural, secret knowledge. She holds scrolls of arcane information that she might, or might not reveal to you. The moon crown on her head as well as the crescent by her foot indicates her willingness to illuminate what you otherwise might not see, reveal the secrets you need to know. The High Priestess is also associated with the moon however and can also indicate change or fluxuation, particularily when it comes to your moods.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

(A tip of the cap to the lovely and talented Jennifer.)
_____

The End of the Line

I hate it when I lose a friend. I really do.

Sheila Brodsky was one hell of a gal. Rape survivor. Not victim. Survivor. Married to the cop who caught the case, the perp and Sheila's heart. Funny, feisty and highly respected, she was always happiest when surrounded by friends, and sipping a tasty scotch and water.

She left this world in J.J.'s arms. That's the only thing that's fair about her death at all.

Her whiskey voice, big-ass grin and sparkling eyes will be missed by all who knew and loved her.

My thoughts and prayers go out to J.J. and the rest of the family.
_____

(And she probably would have gotten a huge kick out of the fact that the ad above her obit contains dancing cowboys. Seriously. Hold your cursor over that ad and those cowboys boogie. Delicious irony. Sheila always loved a guy in a cowboy hat!)
_____

Update: The ads change every time you click on that Tribune link. If you happen to spot the boring mortgage ad with guys in silhouette from the waist up, wearing cowboy hats, that's the ad. Sorry.
_____

Drive-Bys

Eerily accurate:

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Inland North You may think you speak "Standard English straight out of the dictionary" but when you step away from the Great Lakes you get asked annoying questions like "Are you from Wisconsin?" or "Are you from Chicago?" Chances are you call carbonated drinks "pop."
The Northeast
Philadelphia
The Midland
The South
Boston
The West
North Central
What American accent do you have? Take More Quizzes

(A tip of the cap to Barry Campbell.)
_____

Ah! So this is why my friend Barrie wants to become a librarian. That explains everything.
_____

Quote of the Day:

“Leadership in large public institutions requires a skill set different from the private sector,” Gates told me. “A&M and the CIA have this in common. Professionals in the organization got there before you were there and will be there after you leave. For changes to last, the professionals have to assimilate the changes and make them their own. My time here is finite. I want to build something that will long outlast me.”

For all my liberal friends who are afraid Mr. Gates is cut from too conservative a cloth, go read the whole article. This guy sounds like him might just be what the doctor ordered in D.C.

(A tip of the cap to Virginia Postrel.)
_____

While some of the patronage-as-usual Illinois Dems elected didn't make me one bit happy, this article certainly does give me some hope that we're veering wildly toward the center -- and not so far off to the left.
_____

Tootin' the Horn

Happiest of birthdays to the lovely Lisa W. of Lemons & Lollipops!


You just can't imagine how much fun this gal is!
_____

P.S. -- Lisa, I told you I'd get these pictures to you sooner or later!
_____

Regularly Scheduled Stop

Some friends and I meet at this joint right after work every Tuesday night for what we lovingly refer to as "Therapy Night."

What's Therapy Night, you ask?

You drink the truth serum.

You examine whatever issues you wish to examine, in a highly therapeutic manner (laughter, and loads of it) designed to relieve stress, anxiety, anger and/or depression.

What happens on Therapy Nights stays on Therapy Nights. No tattling to friends and loved ones. Promises are kept. Lips are zipped.

You leave your troubles on the bar when you walk out the door at the end of the therapy session.

(And if you indulge a little too much in the truth serum, it's crawling distance to both Ogilvy Transportation Center

and

Union Station.)

Sound like fun? Then you're welcome to join us.
_____

Enter from Clinton Street, halfway between Madison and Monroe. It's less confusing that way.
_____

P.S. -- Ladies, I don't supposed I'd get any takers if I hosted a "hot bartenders" tour of Chicago some Saturday evening, would I?
_____

Drive-Bys

I'm in love. I want them all.
_____

Rubber-Necking

Quote of the Day: "Cauliflower penis?"

(If that image doesn't make your bits clench, nothing else will.)
_____

Awl-righty, then.

(A big tip of the cap to BabsRN. That was an image that needed searing into my brain. Really.)
_____

Quote of the Day, V. 2: "I wish the hell I had a camera or at least a drink because this was getting to be better than HBO."
_____

Tootin' the Horn

Happiest of birthdays to the Accidental Jedi, who, in going Solo, actually multiplied her blessings. You're an inspiration, Deb!
_____

Bus Fumes

I know elections are tomorrow, but what's with the TV cameras blocking commuters as they get off their trains and try to get to work on time? There appeared to be no good reason for it, because I didn't see a single reporter ask a single question. Just camera guys blocking our exit and royally pissing us off. And then more camera guys blocking stairs and escalators so that they could get in our faces. Durrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!

(If you see footage of someone hip-checking one of those doofuses to get him out of her way, yeah, that was me.)

Just what exactly was the point of that whole stupid exercise, anyway?
_____

(I'm not a morning person. I usually don't utter a word until I've gotten to my office and had my second cup of coffee of the day. I get cranky when people in front of me dawdle coming off the train and into the station in the morning anyway. Someone blocking my path for no good reason is like waiving a red flag in front of a bull. Not pretty. Not pretty at all.)
_____

Rubber-Necking

I always loved my Wonderbra. It was comfy and returned "the girls" to their natural place in the order of the universe.

I am, however, giggling myself silly over the Wonderbro. Hoooo-eeee, baby! (I wonder if it comes in an underwire version?)
_____

Drive-Bys

The more I read stuff like this, the more I believe Obama needs one hell of a lot more seasoning before taking a run at the presidency. In fact, if I had to vote on the judgment he's displayed so far in his endorsements, I couldn't and wouldn't vote for him at all.

Dammit! I really want to like the guy, but he's giving me gray hairs.

The Durbinator, on the other hand, has always been an asshat of the spectacularly flaming variety.
_____

Quote of the Day:

Now, I've been to two World Fairs, a calf-roping and a wax museum, but I've never seen anything like that.

I just love the LawDog.
_____

Drive-Bys

Go take this cool color personality profile quiz! You'll be amazed at what you find.
_____

This would seriously piss me off. I've gotten to the point where I really dislike shopping anyway. This might push me into exclusively shopping via e-tailers.
_____

While Todd Stroger is out making an ass of himself on the campaign trail, Bobbie Steele has been quietly and effectively working to clean up Cook County during her interim appointment. The Dems made a huge strategic error when they chose Stroger Jr. over this incredible woman.
The biggest shame of all? If the Toddster actually manages to get himself elected, he'll likely muck up every good thing that Steele has accomplished, all in the name of cronyism. Grrrr!
_____

Speed Racer the movie? My brother will be first in line!
_____



Blame it on Poppy Cedes. I just couldn't resist.
_____

Rubber-Necking

What sorrow it is to drink alone! We have heard the pleas of our sodden friend Drinky Crow and now present to you the glory that is UNCLE GABBY. Fresh from the pages of Maakies by Tony Millionaire, Uncle Gabby stands eight inches tall, dresses to the left and is currently suffering from acute earwax build-up. Beneath his hat lurks his brain that has a mind of its own. His arms can flail, his hat can be doffed and his brain can wander off to greener pastures. Truly a better toy was never made.

At last, a soul mate for V-Man. And he's on sale, too. Cheap even. I'm telling you, it's a match made in...
_____

Tootin' the Horn

I just discovered that my Site Meter is edging towards the 20,000 visit mark.

While it gives me no real indication of just how many unique passages you lovely folks have taken on this here Omnibus (because I didn't set one up until I'd been at it for at least nine months, and probably closer to the one year mark), on the other hand, it makes me feel a bit like Sally Field when she won her Oscar for Norma Rae. You like me. You really like me.

Aw, shucks.
_____

Drive-Bys

Lawyers, hell! This is going on MY Christmas list.
_____

Wait a minute, Samantha. I can think of at least a couple of ladies who'd be happy to volunteer for that duty!

In fact, you might as well count me in, too. Anything less would be unpatriotic.
_____

Oh. And when you need to line up a good excuse for what happened and why, your Alcohoroscope offers as good as any.

So what's my own excuse?

Leo likes to drink and dance--they're often fabulous dancers, and usually pretty good drinkers as well, losing their commanding dignity and turning kittenish. Of course, they're quite aware they're darling--Leos will be Leos, after all. They generally know their limit, probably because they loathe losing self-control. When they get over-refreshed, expect flirting to ensue--and perhaps not with the one what brung them. But Leo's not the type to break rules even when drunk, so just try to ignore it (try harder, Cancer) and expect a sheepish (and hung over) Lion to make it up to you the next day.

Scary, man.
_____

So... it's not just the tree rats getting squirrelly on addictive substances. Is nothing sacred any more? Not even nature?
_____