Drive-Bys

As some of you are aware, I recently underwent major oral surgery -- in 16.5 hours I went from a mouthful of teeth to no teeth to a mouthful of temporary teeth.

Here are some observations:

• Now I know what the phrase "like pulling teeth" really means.
• My brother tells me that toothless is not my best look.
• My brother tells me that I should be commended for having the guts to go out in public looking like Jacob Marley's ghost. He also confessed that he wouldn't have. (The big chicken!)
• 16.5 hours is a very long time to sit in a dentist's chair.
• If you're going to get implants, get 'em all done at once. It's not brave. Brave would be willingly going through that more than once.
• If the dentist offers you more novocaine -- TAKE IT. Don't gut it out.
• Apparently I have a very high pain tolerance.
• You are going to need more than four days off before going back to work -- mostly to wait for the swelling to go down and bruising to fade so your coworkers don't think you're a domestic battery victim.
• Buy a couple of large gel packs and have them in the freezer before going to the oral surgeon. The eensy weensy ones you'll get from your oral surgeon are a joke.
• It's a good thing you can't get stretch marks on your face, because the amount of swelling is amazing.
• You'll look fine the day after. It's the day after the day after that you'll start looking like crap.
• "You look pretty good, considering everything we did to you," is not a morale booster.
• I just don't have it in me to do an all liquid diet for six months.
• Mushy food mostly sucks.
• On the other hand, I finally took my brand new food processor out of the box an put it to good use.
• If toothless isn't my best look, neither is two black eyes and a purple Fu Manchu.
• With your temporaries in place you'll be lithping like Winthrop Paroo. Temporaries are made of acrylic and are very thick.
• My temporary choppers are bee-yoo-tee-ful... but I want my permanents, and I want them right now.
• I am hyper-aware of the temporaries and of the lithping; therefore, I'm talking a whole lot less... and I was much more of a listener than a talker in the first place.
• Oddly, talking less has lead to blogging less. Don't ask me why -- I surely don't know. And I'll try to do better.
  

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Quote of the Day:

“As a child, I had an inordinate fondness for Orange Circus Peanuts. Colored like an orange, shaped like a peanut, flavored like a banana. What the hell was I thinking.” – Phil Vettel

What was your favorite childhood (purported) food that now makes you scratch your head in wonder? (I've got too many to count!)
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PSA:

Do you have a universal life insurance policy? If so, you may just want to request an in-force ledger illustration. Prepare to be shocked when you get it.
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Things I'm Digging This Week:

I'm not in any way, shape or form an oatmeal for breakfast kind of girl. I want eggs, bacon and toast on a regular basis. But, given that bacon is not on the list of mushy foods I'm allowed, I've gotten a little desperate. Fortunately, I tripped across BetterOats' mmm... muffins old fashioned instant oatmeal with flax. Yummy stuff, and not the texture of wallpaper paste.


I have a 9" Tiffany pewter bowl on my desk that I got for hanging around the company for 10 years. I put it to work as the world's largest candy dish. Normally I fill it with Hershey's kisses, Starburst jelly beans, and all sorts of appallingly normal American candy. This weekend, however, I trolled the ethnic aisles at my local Shop 'N Save and found Mieszanka Krakowska in the Polish section. Not reading a word of Polish, I figured they were fancy hard candies (and cheap), so I threw a bag in my cart.

I'm not a big candy person. Give me salt or tart. I'm the one that will choose the savory dessert plate over the chocolate mousse at a fancy restaurant. I have a piece of candy out of that ginormous candy dish maybe once a week or so. Until now.

"Named after Poland's most romantic city, these chocolate covered jellies come in a variety of flavors: orange, lemon, pineapple, raspberry. Each jelly is slightly tart, not too sweet and covered with a rich dark chocolate which makes these a favorite with adults."

Oh. My. Gawd. They're like crack cocaine.
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Here's another Facebook scam to avoid.
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Ear Worm of the Day:



I wish Gavin Coyle's version was up on YouTube, because it's absolutely haunting (and has been stuck in my head for days).
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Update: I just noticed that Gavin Coyle will be playing at the Fifth Province Pub at the Irish American Heritage Center on June 9th. Does anyone want to go??? This is fabulous news!