"According to IMDB, Fred [Willard] is "rumored" to be in pre-production for a movie entitled ... 'The Yank.'"Why, you ask?
"According to law enforcement sources, LAPD undercover vice officers went into the Tiki Theater in Hollywood and found the 78-year-old 'Anchorman' star watching last night's feature ... with his penis exposed and in his hand."Sometimes this stuff just writes itself...
"Bitch needs to pull out his payroll sheet and erase the name of the ho who keeps buying his wigs at Leonard Nimoy's yard sale."Nearly peed myself laughing!
The controversial American arm of an international Islamic group has been bounced from the Marriott in Oak Brook, where organizers were set to host the group's second annual conference this Sunday.For at least three weeks running, Wasson blasted the Marriott on his WGN radio show, and he exhorted his listeners to call the Marriott's main number, as well as the reservation desk at the Oak Brook to express their outrage at Marriott's welcome of Hizb ut-Tahrir.
I actually agree with Janeane Garafolo on something. Hell just froze over. Todd Atwood says he doesn't worry too much about accidents when walking down the street using his iPhone to make calls, send text messages or check his e-mail.It's called putting the damned device down and paying attention. Novel, huh?
But he's seen the consequences of paying more attention to the gadget than what's ahead.
"I saw someone walk right into a sign," recalled the 32-year-old Silicon Valley resident. "She didn't hurt herself but she was startled. She dropped her phone, then her friends starting laughing at her. It was funny but I guess it could've been more serious."
While using a cell phone while driving has triggered the most alarm bells and prompted laws in several states, experts say, pedestrians are also suffering the consequences of mobile distraction -- tripping on curbs, walking into traffic, even stepping into manholes as they chat or type while walking.
The three young girls -- under the watchful eye of a nanny, sitting on the grass with them -- explained that they had regular lemonade, raspberry lemonade, and small chocolate candy bars.What I found fascinating was how many callers to the John Williams Show suggested that if the girls charged for the lemonade, it would be good to donate their "profits" to charity so they would learn a valuable lesson.
Then my brother asked how much each item cost.
"Oh, no," they replied in unison, "they're all free!"
I sat in the back seat in shock. Free? My brother questioned them again: "But you have to charge something? What should I pay for a lemonade? I'm really thirsty!"
His fiancee smiled and commented, "Isn't that cute. They have the spirit of giving."
That really set me off, as my regular readers can imagine.
"No!" I exclaimed from the back seat. "That's not the spirit of giving. You can only really give when you give something you own. They're giving away their parents' things -- the lemonade, cups, candy. It's not theirs to give."
I pushed the button to roll down the window and stuck my head out to set them straight.
"You must charge something for the lemonade," I explained. "That's the whole point of a lemonade stand. You figure out your costs -- how much the lemonade costs, and the cups -- and then you charge a little more than what it costs you, so you can make money. Then you can buy more stuff, and make more lemonade, and sell it and make more money."
I was confident I had explained it clearly. Until my brother, breaking the tension, ordered a raspberry lemonade. As they handed it to him, he again asked: "So how much is it?"
And the girls once again replied: "It's free!" And the nanny looked on contentedly.
No wonder America is getting it all wrong when it comes to government, and taxes, and policy. We all act as if the "lemonade" or benefits we're "giving away" is free.
But this exercise wasn't about trigonometry problems or physics theories. Instead, the teens were being tested on their financial smarts in a lesson called "good debt vs. bad debt."
The teachers who concocted the exercise were two financial planners who stood front and center in a personal-finance class.
More than ever, consumer electronics -- particularly laptops, smartphones and Apple's new iPad -- are shining bright light into our eyes until just moments before we doze off.Now there's growing concern that these glowing gadgets may actually fool our brains into thinking it's daytime. Exposure can disturb sleep patterns and exacerbate insomnia, some sleep researchers said in interviews.
A cassette tape is waiting for me. It sits in a small bubble mailer on my night table. It stares at me when I walk in the room; it beckons to me as I walk out. But still it sits there and waits. It is the last thing. The last thing he sent to me from "over there."
There is no note inside, just a regular old-school cassette tape. The outside of the envelope is addressed in his handwriting. "Love, Poppa Bear" is written on the back. I've opened it to look inside, but I haven't yet drawn up the courage to listen.
Yesterday was pretty emotional. I had talked to some people in the morning and I realized that I needed to sit down and have a discussion with my husband. I talk to him all the time, but I think I let him know too often how angry I still am at the situation. So I sat and I talked with him. I really opened up my heart and reminded him how much I do love him and that no matter what, that will never, ever change. I laid on the floor and just talked and talked, and it felt so good to be openly communicating the way we once did. I then needed some music so I put on the playlist I had made for him and recorded on to a tape to send him to Afghanistan. I found that I needed more of him, I wanted to hear him too, so I did it... I listened to the tape. It was difficult, I cried through much of it. He talked about being so excited to come home and hold us and hearing those things after the fact is so hard. I had somehow forgotten how funny he was and found myself laughing through my tears. It was great hearing his voice, as emotional and difficult as it was, I enjoyed it. I am so thankful my mom had that idea to send tapes and we have this (albeit, old) piece of technology to keep him, and his voice, alive._____
The man killed in a rollover crash on the Eisenhower Expressway Wednesday while followed by his alleged robbery victims was an eerie coincidence.Some fools never learn.
Jeffrey Banks was one of three men in a Ford Excursion that flipped over near the California exit ramp as two robbery victims were following them from an earlier hold up at a gas station at 63rd Street and Wentworth.
Three years ago Banks was involved in almost the same crime in the same place.
Fitzpatrick and Brown contend that in the evolution of a street thug, kids in elementary school can still be diverted form a path blazed with fists and pistols.Well done, gentlemen. Keep up the good work.
"This is where we've got to reach them," Fitzpatrick said. "And they'll listen to us because they know us, and they know we've been there."
The men say that, for them, transitioning from gang life was like trying to get untangled from a thorny bush. They did it bit by bit, fell back more than once, swallowed the pain of extrication. They don't want these boys to feel that pain.
"They learned what they learned on the streets from people like us," Fitzpatrick said. "So the people on the streets should be the ones who go into the schools to help straighten this out. You can't teach this from a book."
Director Michael Bay announced Monday that actors Frances "Fargo" McDormand and John "Being John Malkovich" Malkovich have been added to the cast of "Transformers 3" -- which has scheduled portions of filming in Chicago this summer.Yeesh! How the mighty have fallen!
[snip] The study did, however, come up with one icky way bigger models can be used to actually influence product sales: “if a normal-size woman sees moderately heavy images in ads for weight-loss products, she might feel overweight and be more inclined to buy a diet plan or gym membership.” Basically, use plus-sized models to make women feel bad enough about themselves that they spend more money on gym memberships and diet products. [The Cut]
What do you think? Do ads with bigger models make you feel better or worse about yourself?
I have already entered a zero for the midterm for each of you who blew it off. If you want that zero changed into something else, be bloody sure you get that test taken before your time is up. After I place your test in the Testing Center, the rest is entirely up to you. If you don’t get yourself up there, the zero stands.
If you allow that zero to stand, you will need to present yourself to the registrar to withdraw from the class. You’ll also be required to pay back your financial aid.
Sincerely, Professor Had-It-Up-To-Here with the lot of you.
P.S. Students who showed up on the proper day get bonus points, which will be added at the end of the semester. Also? These students rock. They’re awesome, while you’re. . . . well, never mind. It was an antonym. I hope you had a good time in Cancun.
_____After closing time at the bar, a drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends.
He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.
“What's up with the big brass gong?” one of his guests asked.
“It's not a gong - it's a talking clock,” the drunk replied.
“A talking clock? Seriously?” asked his astonished friend.
“Yup,” replied the drunk.
“How's it work?” the friend asked, squinting at it.
“Watch,” the drunk replied.He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound and stepped back.
The three stood looking at one another for a moment.
Suddenly someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "You asshole! It's three-fifteen in the morning!”
(I actually loved Cameron Diaz's whole package on the red carpet tonight.)
He speaks perfectly well and we understand his explanations and his politics just fine; many of us just happen to reject them.
Well, I WAS wondering what would happen if you stuck MarieAntoinette , three coffee filters, and one of those old ladies from The Far Side in a blender. Now we know.
[T]here is a sense that something is different now; that something is broken; that those of us in Washington are not serving the people as well as we should. At times, it seems like we're unable to listen to one another; to have at once a serious and civil debate. And this erosion of civility in the public square sows division and distrust among our citizens. It poisons the well of public opinion. It leaves each side little room to negotiate with the other. It makes politics an all-or-nothing sport, where one side is either always right or always wrong when, in reality, neither side has a monopoly on truth.This is rich, coming from the guy who's favorite mantra is "Blame Bush!"
Civility also requires relearning how to disagree without being disagreeable; understanding, as President [Kennedy] said, that "civility is not a sign of weakness."This from the guy who likes to answer people who disagree with him by smirking, "I won."
It is this spirit of civility that we are called to take up when we leave here today. That's what I'm praying for. I know in difficult times like these -- when people are frustrated, when pundits start shouting and politicians start calling each other names -- it can seem like a return to civility is not possible, like the very idea is a relic of some bygone era. The word itself seems quaint -- civility.And civility would extend to actually listening to what others are saying, instead of insisting that they're not hearing you. If the word seems quaint to you, it's because you don't extend it to those who disagree with you -- just ask anyone who's ever attended a Tea Party or voted against one of your pet causes.
Yes, there are crimes of conscience that call us to action. Yes, there are causes that move our hearts and offenses that stir our souls. But progress doesn't come when we demonize opponents. It's not born in righteous spite. Progress comes when we open our hearts, when we extend our hands, when we recognize our common humanity. Progress comes when we look into the eyes of another and see the face of God. That we might do so -- that we will do so all the time, not just some of the time -- is my fervent prayer for our nation and the world.Pretty, empty words coming from an empty suit. When you start walking the walk instead of talking the talk, maybe I'll listen.
grandma: You need to tell that brother of yours to get bigger pants. That boy’s drawers are like a cheap hotel-there’s no ballroom.Well?
"Butt cheeks ahoy! There she blows!"Heh.
"You can't be a pirate if you don't have a beard. I said so. MY boat, MY rules."
"We haven't got a plank. Just fucking jump."
Perhaps the most important is whether the state should establish specialized nursing home wards or even separate facilities for the most dangerous residents -- those with violent backgrounds who pose a threat to others. Sullivan's group and many advocates say Illinois must stop mixing dangerous and vulnerable residents.Yes, indeedy -- Gelder is a douche bag.
The issue "still perplexes us and is something for which we need additional discussion," Gelder said. "This is one of the central issues in the concerns about keeping people safe,"
Freezing your lard and butter ahead of time and using a box grater to shred it into the floured mixing bowl effortlessly ends in the sort of coarse, crumbly, flake-inducing dough that is generally considered the platonic ideal. Just grate, moisten, give a quick stir and a light knead, cover in plastic and chill for 30 minutes.Cool!
