Drive-Bys

Every scent I love first thing in the a.m. in just one cup? I might just order myself a bag of Maple Bacon Morning Coffee!
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Quote of the Day:

“Well fine, then I’ll take my business elsewhere! I’m not going to stand here and be discriminated against! You Kosher people should just go back to…Kosheria or wherever it is you come from!”

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I freely admit I'm not a "board shorts" person, but, if I was, I'd be going ordering from http://www.shortomatic.com:

...[T]he Shortomatic.com site is so easy to use and so much fun, it's easy to burn an entire afternoon mocking up board short styles that will never see the light of day.

After you choose a size (due to fabric width constraints, sizes top out at a 38-inch waist) and upload a file from your computer, a preview of the finished product will appear on the screen, and the image on the shorts can be moved, resized, mirrored or duplicated on each leg. From there you can specify background and accent colors (which, in another cool feature, can be plucked from among the hues in your original image) and choose black or white for the contrast stitching and drawstring color. The final opportunity to personalize is writing a message of up to 140 characters on the inside waistband.

The end result — for a couple of clicks and a $99 price tag — is a one-off pair of super soft and supple polyester microfiber men's board shorts unlike anything else that exists, delivered to your door within 21 days. (Which means that if you uploaded a photo today, Dad could have a pair of boast-worthy board shorts in time for Fathers Day.)

How cool is that? (Massive style points for wearing these!)
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If you have a pet or just love animals, you might just want to bookmark Lost and Pound.
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Ear Worm of the Day:

You Belong to Me -- Lifehouse

see the pyramids around the Nile
watch the sunrise from a tropic isle
just remember darling all the while
you belong to me

see the marketplace in old Angier
send me photographs and souvenirs
just remember when a dream appears
you belong to me

and I'll be so alone without you
maybe you'll be lonesome too

fly the ocean in a silver plane
see the jungle when it's wet with rain
just remember till you're home again
you belong to me

oh I'll be so alone without you
maybe you'll be lonesome too

fly the ocean in a silver plane
see the jungle when it's wet with rain
just remember till you're home again
you belong to me

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Giggle of the Day:

Bump in the Road

Remember Densey and Mary Cole and the dream wedding contest at Crate & Barrel?

Apparently having far and away the most votes of any of the couples entered didn't count, and they ended up with an honorable mention.

So... I reached out to Nicola at Tropical Casablanca Hotel, who offered, if the Coles didn't win at C&B, to make their dreams come true anyway.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed and sending up a LOT of prayers. Please do the same, will you?

I'm a die-hard romantic, and I really do want to see this story have a happy ending for the Coles.

Candy Counter

OOOoooo!!!

• Bourbon Lollipops
• Chocolate Bacon Lollipops
• Caffeinated Maple Bacon Lollipops
• Absinthe Lollipops
• Amaretto Lollipops
• White Russian Lollipops

Discount.

Score!

Bus Fumes

Once again the top of my head threatens to blow like Mount St. Helens Eyjafjallajökull:

The mother of one of the four [insert unprintable language here] upright citizens who gunned down and ran over Tom Wortham -- a combat veteran and Chicago police officer, not to mention an activist trying to take back his neighborhood from gang bangers and hoods -- in an effort to steal his mortorcycle, had this to say about her son and his cohorts:

"I don't feel like all those guys have to pay for that one mistake. You know, it was all a mistake on everybody's part, including the people that shot and the one's that died," Lucille Floyd said from her West Side home Friday night. "I feel like we need to let it rest and go on with our lives."

Adding insult to injury, she had this to say about Officer Wortham's father, a retired policeman who tried to save his son, ridding the world of one of the four hobgoblins in the process:

"For him to shoot them they way he did, in cold blood... because being an officer, I feel like he should have had knowledge of how to hit those children without killing them," Floyd said.

Is it any wonder the little darling turned out the way he did?

(I'm with SCC on this one.)

Sunday Schedule

Just a few images from my recent rambles:

I fell in love with this handsome guy on Dearborn Street in the Gold Coast today. He almost looks alive!

My favorite shade of green.

Who knew?

Color so rich you could just scoop it up and eat it with a spoon.

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Giggle of the Day:

From those wacky guys at The Awesomer. It's a Masterpiece Theatre/Jackass hybrid.

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Yeesh! People of Public Transport is like People of Walmart... as seen through the lens of the Wiseass Jooette.

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Go see the Advice Goddess for the Question of the Day.

It's a humdinger.

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Ear Worm of the Day:

Mmmmmmmmmmmm!!!

Roadside Diner

I was in the tony Gold Coast neighborhood in Chicago earlier today, as I have a bunch of photos to mat and frame for the silent auction at the upcoming ceili to benefit Seanachai Theatre Company on June 11th.* I was really hungry by the time I was done, so I stopped for a bite to eat at Bistrot Zinc.

There's nothing in the world I like better than a lovely assiette de charcuterie when I feel like flinging caution to the wind and inhaling cholesterol like air. Bistrot Zinc serves up a gorgeous plate with silky goose liver pate, garlic hard salami, cornichons, brie, chevre, raw walnuts, fresh fruit, crostini and a dreamy house blend of Dijon mustard with sherry reduction sauce. Paired with a satisfyingly dense Pere Jacques Belgian-style ale, it was a meal fit for royalty, and as good as anything I ate when I went to Paris. For $25, including a healthy tip, it was a bargain price for a sumptuous feast.

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*Email me if you're interested, and I'll forward the details. This event is a blast!

Book Your Ticket

My current read, "Born Under a Million Shadows: A Novel," by Andrea Busfield, has my new favorite protagonist, 11 year old Fawad:

"Your sister's pretty good-looking," [my cousin] Jahid said as he tried to blow smoke rings. "I tell you what, if she hadn't been kidnapped, I wouldn't have minded marrying her myself -- being blood and all that."

I looked a Jahid, with his rolling eye, lazy leg, and stumpy brown teeth, and thought that if my sister had accepted his offer, I'd have handed her over to the Taliban myself.

Best-written character since Piscine Molitor Patel, and, coming from me, that's really saying something.

Run, don't walk, to go buy this book! Shoo!

Bust Ups

Blame it on Pamibe... and my finally catching up on my regular blog reads...

Saturday Morning Cartoons

Yep. I was raised on patriotism:

Roger Ramjet and his Eagles

Fighting for our freedom

Fly through and in outer space

Not to join him but to beat him.

Roger Ramjet he's our man

Hero of our nation

For his adventure just be sure

And stay tuned to this station.

Come and join us all you kids

For lots of fun and laughter

As Roger Ramjet and his men

Get all the crooks they're after.

Roger Ramjet he's our man

Hero of our nation

For his adventure just be sure

And stay tuned to this station.

Rules of the Road

If you do this, you, my friend, are such an addict that it's freaking sad:

Healless, a certified nurse's assistant at Fair Oaks Health Care Center in Crystal Lake, allegedly would enter the patient's room, roll her on her side, then poke holes in her fentanyl patch with a safety pin, Crystal Lake Deputy Police Chief Eugene Lowery said. The woman, who was mentally and physically incapacitated, didn't realize what he was doing, police said.

Healless would allegedly squeeze the fentanyl patch so the drug, a narcotic painkiller given to people in constant pain, would ooze out of the patch, and then he'd lick it off his fingers.

Eeew.
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If you must be addicted to something, make it reading blogs by really, really funny writers... like Momma Fargo, and not like her perp-of-the-day, DOODOO:

DOODOO: This takes a long time.

ME: Tell me about it.

DOODOO: doo..doo...doo...doo. [swayed back and forth]

ME: Jeopardy?

DOODOO: Yep. Help me out.

DOODOO: doo..doo...doo...doo.

ME: doo..doo...doo...doo

We swayed in unison. Pretty soon...

INTERCOM: [male voice] What are you guys doing?

ME: Jeopardy.

INTERCOM: This is jail. Be serious. Does he know where he is? Bubba's waiting for him.[laughing]

DOODOO: [whispers to me]Who is that?

ME: [whispered back] The Man.

DOODOO: Oh. How did he know what we were doing?

ME: The Man knows everything.

DOODOO: Oh.

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Why don't I drive anymore? I dunno. Maybe because...

A Tribune investigation at the time found that Cook County judges routinely granted supervisions to drivers who already had a dozen or more. In response, judges formed a committee to study limiting supervisions, but nothing came of it. New judges were trained to take traffic cases seriously, including a trip to meet people paralyzed from crashes, but they were given no limit on discretion.

Area courts kept issuing supervisions to chronic offenders, often wrapped in quick plea deals negotiated by harried prosecutors. The deal remained the norm for offenders such as Michael Walt.

He bragged online about all the tickets he'd gotten, including seven for speeding and three for crashes. He eventually garnered three convictions close enough together to trigger a license suspension, but his lawyer got a Kane County judge to turn two of them into supervisions.

Walt got his license back and in March 2004 was speeding nearly 70 mph in a 45-mph zone when he slammed into a car driven by Brant's 17-year-old daughter Krista at Ogden Avenue and 75th Street in Aurora. The crash killed Walt's girlfriend, Lindsey Kelber, and Brant's 15-year-old son, Matt. Krista Brant was seriously injured but recovered.

Walt was later convicted of speeding, fined $1,200, ordered to do 160 hours of community service and had his license revoked....

Walt told licensing officials he was a changed man, got his license back in 2007 and moved to Florida. He hasn't had any tickets since. He declined to comment.

Sorry. I don't feel safe on the road any more.

The police are doing their jobs, but the courts are falling down --WAY down -- on this.
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Chicago Local

As anybody who's been reading for a while knows, Tuesday night is Therapy Night. Tonight's was really special:

Mr. Bill (best friend and intrepid travel companion throughout Ireland) was in the house.

The amazing Judy -- artist, photographer, lover of art and architecture (also a great travel companion, especially in Ireland) -- was in attendance.

Walt (who keeps Beefeater in business) was in the house.

Joe Gass popped up from St. Louis...

... and got to meet the lovely and talented Monica, who has become an integral part of the group due to her multiple passions of music, architecture and literature...

We got to meet Kurt (or is it "Curt"), an actuary who is anything but boring...

His friend Erin, who totally grabbed my buddy Walt's attention...

The conversation simply rocked. Books. Music. Theater. Employment was the least of the interesting things on the table.

If you're in town on a Tuesday, drop me an email. There's always room for one more at the table, and there's always an interesting conversation.

Rubber-Necking

Weird internet searches that landed people here yesterday:

• johnny is a butt licker
• cat boot licker
• dark crystal dog's name
• jesus face on dog
• women cyclists peeing
• NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
• patrick stewart nude
• umbrellas stuck on heads
• turtle porn

Lovely. Just lovely.

Sunday Schedule

Quote of the Day:

" I think the best gift to a woman is a man who listens."

I think I just fell in love... with Common.

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Coming to Chicago any time soon? If so, bookmark this fabulous listing of loads of places to find dinner for two for under $20.

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Also, pump up your Chicago trivia knowledge by noodling around here. Lots of cool info that most of us who live here don't even know!

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Love Chicago style hot dogs? And a great love story? The Superdawg story has it all!

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With work sheets laid out on the tables, the 11 high school students looked ready to dive into their group projects.

But this exercise wasn't about trigonometry problems or physics theories. Instead, the teens were being tested on their financial smarts in a lesson called "good debt vs. bad debt."

The teachers who concocted the exercise were two financial planners who stood front and center in a personal-finance class.

This is developing not just personal finance knowledge, but also critical thinking skills. More, please!

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Hmmmm....

More than ever, consumer electronics -- particularly laptops, smartphones and Apple's new iPad -- are shining bright light into our eyes until just moments before we doze off.

Now there's growing concern that these glowing gadgets may actually fool our brains into thinking it's daytime. Exposure can disturb sleep patterns and exacerbate insomnia, some sleep researchers said in interviews.

This actually makes sense to me, as I fall asleep much faster if I read on my Kindle for half an hour or so before laying down than if I just switch off the laptop and try going to sleep.

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Here's a love story that'll break your heart... unless you've got no heart at all:

A cassette tape is waiting for me. It sits in a small bubble mailer on my night table. It stares at me when I walk in the room; it beckons to me as I walk out. But still it sits there and waits. It is the last thing. The last thing he sent to me from "over there."

There is no note inside, just a regular old-school cassette tape. The outside of the envelope is addressed in his handwriting. "Love, Poppa Bear" is written on the back. I've opened it to look inside, but I haven't yet drawn up the courage to listen.

And here's the follow-up:

Yesterday was pretty emotional. I had talked to some people in the morning and I realized that I needed to sit down and have a discussion with my husband. I talk to him all the time, but I think I let him know too often how angry I still am at the situation. So I sat and I talked with him. I really opened up my heart and reminded him how much I do love him and that no matter what, that will never, ever change. I laid on the floor and just talked and talked, and it felt so good to be openly communicating the way we once did. I then needed some music so I put on the playlist I had made for him and recorded on to a tape to send him to Afghanistan. I found that I needed more of him, I wanted to hear him too, so I did it... I listened to the tape. It was difficult, I cried through much of it. He talked about being so excited to come home and hold us and hearing those things after the fact is so hard. I had somehow forgotten how funny he was and found myself laughing through my tears. It was great hearing his voice, as emotional and difficult as it was, I enjoyed it. I am so thankful my mom had that idea to send tapes and we have this (albeit, old) piece of technology to keep him, and his voice, alive.

Cpl. Jonathan D. Porto - "Bringing Him Home" from DiamondFilms on Vimeo.

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Bus Fumes

I'm sharing these, because if the top of my head threatens to pop off, yours should too:



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And, because it's been an interesting weekend:

In a state with the nation's highest jobless rate, landscaping companies are finding some job applicants are rejecting work offers so they can continue collecting unemployment benefits.

It is unclear whether this trend is affecting other seasonal industries. But the fact that some seasonal landscaping workers choose to stay home and collect a check from the state, rather than work outside for a full week and spend money for gas, taxes and other expenses, raises questions about whether extended unemployment benefits give the jobless an incentive to avoid work.

Yup. This is one of the reasons we've got so many "undocumented aliens" -- because they'll do the work that nobody else has to.

One former landscaper, who has been on unemployment for a year, said he will search for work when the benefits expire, but he estimates he earns about $50 to $60 less a week than he would if he were working.

"It's crazy," he said. "They keep doing all of these extensions."

Crazy? Yes, indeed.

(A tip of the cap to LibertyChick for the above goodies. If she'd spend the same amount of time posting as she did emailing this stuff to me, she'd have herself a dandy blog. (And it's no harder to paste a link into an email than it is to paste it into a blog post.) Hint, hint, hint!)

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And this ought to at least raise your eyebrows to your hairline:

Last week, the American Association of Pediatricians noted that certain, ahem, "immigrant communities" were shipping their daughters overseas to undergo "female genital mutilation." So, in a spirit of multicultural compromise, they decided to amend their previous opposition to the practice: They're not (for the moment) advocating full-scale clitoridectomies, but they are suggesting federal and state laws be changed to permit them to give a "ritual nick" to young girls.

We are opening the gates and welcoming the barbarians with open arms, ladies and gents.

Oh, yeah. The rest of that Mark Steyn article bears reading, too. The above paragraph 'tis but a wee pinch of the entire frightening message.

(A tip of the cap to the Advice Goddess.)
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Madam Speaker once again displays her utter disdain for the average tax payer:

(A tip of the cap to Paul, whose post title says it all.)

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So we have people who want to build manufacturing plants in Michigan, and this happens:

Safer and more long-lasting than conventional lithium-ion car batteries, the Massachusetts Institute of Technology professor's invention packs 600 cells into a case the size of an airplane carry-on bag. His technology has already transformed the batteries used in many cordless power tools.

So why are Chiang and his company, A123 Systems, having trouble moving to full-scale commercial production? The answer is a story of both the obstacles to a rebirth of U.S. manufacturing and of the tantalizing possibilities if such a rebirth could be achieved.

The obstacles are rooted in the sad history of manufacturing's decline in the United States: Despite the promise of Chiang's batteries, many in Wall Street and Silicon Valley were incredulous when he and other leaders at A123 asked for capital to build factories in America: Asia, yes, but Michigan, why would you want to?

Even more daunting, virtually all of the world's battery-manufacturing industry is in Asia, where plants can be built faster and supplies and equipment are much easier to get than in the United States. These days, it's hard to find Americans who even know how to build a battery factory.

When and how did we let this get so far away from us? And, even if we can build those plants, where will we find skilled labor willing to work for a reasonable hourly wage?

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One more thing: Whether Elena Kagan is a lesbian or not is nobody's business but hers.

To quote Mary Schmich:

If you're an unmarried woman over 40, you're probably gay.

If you are an unmarried woman over 40 carrying 15 extra pounds, you are totally gay.

If you are a stocky, unmarried woman of whatever age who plays softball — gay, gay, gay.

And if you're that woman who's also smarter than most of the boys? Beyond gay, sweetheart. You are scary.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is the most narrow-minded, bigoted, craptacularly stupid line of thinking I have ever seen. Well, except that "smarter than most of the boys" "scary" bit. And that is also limited thinking. She's probably smarter than most of the boys and the girls.

As I wrote to a radio personality with whom I regularly diverge wildly on viewpoints, but agree with today:

I don't care if the Supreme Court candidate is or is not a woman, is or is not a lesbian, is or is not a person of color, is or is not a Christian. What I care about is whether or not [he or] she has the credentials to do the job. And I can't wait for the day when that is what people debate, not spending time and bile and ink and airtime on all this other stuff that either he or she can't change or is no one else's business.

Like Martin Luther King, Jr., I, too, have a dream.

P.S. -- I'm over 40, overweight, unmarried and I played softball around the same time Kagan did. Does that make me a lesbian, too?

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Drive-Bys

Recycling -- it is good for the earth!
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For my friends who never leave home without their camera -- be a bee spotter.
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This flight attendant carries more clothes than I would for 10 days... but her packing techniques rock!
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Ear Worm of the Day (er... Week?):



This has been floating through my brain for days. Lovely, isn't it?

Quick Stop

Quote of the Day:

"Sara was, after all, a very nice lady, even though no female I've ever known has wanted to be called either of those things. Particularly in Los Angeles, where there were only two ages of people, young and pretending to be young."*

I'll take "nice" and "lady"... but I'd put myself in a category different than the last of the above two, and that would be "refusing to be old".

There is a difference between pretending to be young and refusing to be old. The former is a state of mind; the latter is when your brain has not yet caught up with the rest of you.
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Nose Down, Eyes Up: A Novel" -- Merrill Markoe

Auntie Omnibus...

... needs a costume. Here's what I'm thinking:

1) A tee shirt with the "Omnibabe" micro bus logo from my header printed on it.

2) A tutu from here or here.

3) A girlie, feminine wig.

4) Some stunning tights.

5) Fairy wings.

6) Sparkly eyelashes.

7) This official fairy wand... with a credit card glued smack in the center of that butterfly.

8) My Stetson... with this tiara instead of a hat band.

9) My trusty boots.

10) Red lipstick, because you know I'm gonna leave a mark.

Okay. How's that picture working for you?

Happy Mother's Day!

I hope your day brought you beauty from the unexpected...

... from new places and faces to old...

... from inner and outer reflections...


... from me and mine...

... to you and yours. If your Mother's Day has been half as happy as mine, you are very blessed, indeed.

Bus Fumes

Oh, sure. I finally find a sassy summer bag in a color I like that will hold just the right amount of stuff (laptop, Kindle, wallet and camera), has the right handle length and the right number of inner pockets... and it costs over $2,000!!!

Urk.

(I have good taste. So sue me.)

Time to start the hunt all over again.

I mean, I could go with this funky little number... but it would be a little bit like carrying an expensive psychedelic disco ball bag.

I like the shape and specs of this bag, but that's a lot of money for a purse that looks like it had a fountain pen break inside and leak through.

This big bad girl is gorgeous, too... but is it worth six months rent? I don't think so.

Sigh.

Its really bad when the only bags I like this season make last year's boot purchase (L1105B) look positively reasonable.

Back to the drawing board...

Saturday Ramblings

Aha! Now I see where the Straight White Guy first got his fully warranted fear of zombies:

Zombie

1 1/4 oz lemon juice
1 oz dark rum
3/4 oz orange juice
1/2 oz cherry brandy
1/2 oz light rum
1/2 oz high-proof dark rum
2 dashes grenadine

Usually these drinks are saved for Halloween-themed parties, and judging by the amount of alcohol contained in one zombie, you should only really be drinking them on special occasions. The drink made its debut in the 1939 World’s Fair in New York. It’s reputation for swift inebriation was so well-known that in 1940 a song about the dangers of drinking too many called “Abercrombie had a Zombie” was released. And yes, too many of these will have you walking like a zombie. Har har har.

See? Fats Waller warned him:

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Dwile Flonking? Sounds like a great game for your next blogmeet...

(And, lest you think the author was yanking your leg, see this... and this. And here's a site where you can do a little virtual Dwile Flonking.)

I think I need this book for my curiosities reading shelf, in fact.

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A couple of Blogthings:

You Are Adventurous

You are quite adventurous and brave, but you are also reasonable about it. You don't have to be on an adventure 24/7. You have good judgment and balance. You like to try new and exciting things, but you also pay attention to risk. You're not the type of person who would throw your life away just to go on a new trip or have a new romantic partner. You like your thrills in small, safe doses. You are gutsy in all aspects of your life from career to relationships.

Are You Adventurous?

Blogthings: Cheaper Than a Therapist

... and...

You Should Travel by Sailboat

When you travel, you really prefer to carve your own path and do things your way. You want to go at your own pace and do as much yourself as possible. You despise group tours. You don't travel from a schedule or plan... you just go with your intuition. You believe that travel is more about the journey than the destination. And you'd like to sail away into the sunset!

How Should You Travel?

The First Rule of Blogthings Is: You Don't Talk About Blogthings

Why? Because I can.

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Quote of the Day, The First:

"If these people don't think I'm at least a bit of a nutter, I've failed miserably in my quest to be a little more weird everyday." -- Trudy Seabrook

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Quote of the Day, The Second:

"The fate of the $3 nachos is unknown." -- Steve Schmadeke

Classic!

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While I feel very, very sorry for the Westie's owner, I also feel sorry for the worker who made this mistake:

Hospital employees were cleaning the indoor cages when a worker took the female pit bull and put it in an outdoor kennel and then put Tootsie in the adjacent one, according to the report.

"[The pit bull] had chewed through the cage and pulled Tootsie by her head and neck through the opening," the report said. When someone checked on the dogs, it was too late.

Unless you've ever tried to buy an indestructible toy for a pit bull, you simply have no idea how powerful their jaws are, and how fast they can chew through just about anything.

If I hadn't seen my own sweet granddog pop a tennis ball like a gumdrop, shake her head, smack her lips and go pppptttui -- spitting out an entirely fuzz-less and flattened former orb in less than 10 seconds -- I wouldn't have thought it possible. I'm guessing even a cinder block wall would be about a 5 minute job for a motivated pit bull to chew through.

What a shame, all the way around.

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Giggle of the Day:

Betcha didn't know a dog could beat-box!

The Road to SNL?

My girl Betty is finally getting her due and hosting SNL. Think she'll be up to the task?



While young folks today seem to get the idea that she popped up out of nowhere as the new "Cool Nana," those of us who've grown up with her know that she's always been a sugar-coated firecracker.

In the '70s, the producers of the Mary Tyler Moore show capitalized on her sugary sweet delivery of jaw-dropping zingers:



Even back in the 80's the king of late night television got that Betty could and would do bawdy at the drop of a hat:



In the late '80s and early 90's, as Rose Nylund she could make even made up Swedish words sound not-so-vaguely naughty:

In the late '90s she more than held her own with the young, uber-hipsters of Ally McBeal:

And in the first nine years of the 21st century, she's done a string of turns on popular television, up to and including Boston Legal:

She's been a guest star for such cultural icons as Carol Burnett and the Jacksons,

She's beloved of daytime hosts over the decades from Merv Griffin to Bonnie Hunt to Ellen:

While she's been on Sajak, Leno and George Lopez...

... no late night host since Johnny Carson has used her more or better than Craig Ferguson:

So, while I'm grateful that Lorn Michaels finally got off his duff and invited her to host SNL, I really do wonder what in the heck took him so long??? (And I'm betting they get some of their best ratings ever when she does.)

You go, girlfriend!

Saturday Morning Cartoons

How many of you remember Johnny Quest?



This show always had an edgy, creepy feel to it. It's a wonder many parents let us watch!

Episodes don't allow embedding outside of YouTube, so search on "Johnny Quest Episodes" for more!

Drive-Bys

Karma meets Darwin Award Winner:

The man killed in a rollover crash on the Eisenhower Expressway Wednesday while followed by his alleged robbery victims was an eerie coincidence.

Jeffrey Banks was one of three men in a Ford Excursion that flipped over near the California exit ramp as two robbery victims were following them from an earlier hold up at a gas station at 63rd Street and Wentworth.

Three years ago Banks was involved in almost the same crime in the same place.

Some fools never learn.
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On the other hand, here are two guys who are changing their karmic patterns:

Fitzpatrick and Brown contend that in the evolution of a street thug, kids in elementary school can still be diverted form a path blazed with fists and pistols.

"This is where we've got to reach them," Fitzpatrick said. "And they'll listen to us because they know us, and they know we've been there."

The men say that, for them, transitioning from gang life was like trying to get untangled from a thorny bush. They did it bit by bit, fell back more than once, swallowed the pain of extrication. They don't want these boys to feel that pain.

"They learned what they learned on the streets from people like us," Fitzpatrick said. "So the people on the streets should be the ones who go into the schools to help straighten this out. You can't teach this from a book."

Well done, gentlemen. Keep up the good work.
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Jihad Gene is still up to his ears in family stuff so I'm forced, once again, to get the party started.

"It's Friday! Let's Dance!"

Me? I'm dancing with myself:



Elisson pops the earbuds in his ears and he is, too.

Suzette wants to know "How you like me now?"

Billy Sweetfeets Gingersnap Norton is Too Sexy.

Desert Cat is rocking the belly-rubbing music.

Ann T. Hathaway says you can take all of her.

And you?

Update:

Paul has strapped on his Rocket Skates.
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Giggle of the Day:

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Happy weekend, everybody!

Rules of the Road

There's a difference between "serving" someone and "servicing" someone. Be sure you know which one you really mean before opening your mouth to a reporter.

serve   [surv] Show IPA verb,served, serv·ing, noun

–verb (used without object)
1. to act as a servant.
2. to wait on table, as a waiter.
3. to offer or have a meal or refreshments available, as for patrons or guests: Come early, we're serving at six.
4. to offer or distribute a portion or portions of food or a beverage, as a host or hostess: It was her turn to serve at the faculty tea.
5. to render assistance; be of use; help.
6. to go through a term of service; do duty as a soldier, sailor, senator, juror, etc.
7. to have definite use: This cup will serve as a sugar bowl.
8. to answer the purpose: That will serve to explain my actions.
9. (in tennis, badminton, handball, etc.) to put the ball or shuttlecock in play with a stroke, swing, or hit.
10. to be favorable, suitable, or convenient, as weather or time.
11. Ecclesiastical. to act as a server.

serv·ice   [sur-vis] Show IPA noun, adjective, verb,-iced, -ic·ing.

–verb (used with object)
32. to make fit for use; repair; restore to condition for service: to service an automobile.
33. to supply with aid, information, or other incidental services.
34. (of a male animal) to mate with (a female animal).
35. Finance. to pay off (a debt) over a period of time, as by meeting periodic interest payments.

See? BIG DIFFERENCE. (Especially if you're referring to your relationship with your daughter, which one memorable article quotation did recently.)

PSA

There are people in this world that do good things for others. Erik Johnson is one of them.

4 years ago [my good friend] Rob told me he was diagnosed with Chondroblastic Osteosarcoma, a childhood form of bone cancer, and I decided that it was my responsibility, as a friend and teammate, to help him and his family. My way of helping Rob and his family was to raise money to help cover some of the extreme expenses they were sure to have; therefore I decided to start a fundraiser in Rob'sname. I talked with the captain of the competition dance team at the University of Wisconsin- La Crosse (UWL) and organized a dance benefit show with the dance team and 12 football players (Rob and I were teammates on the UWL football team). I was responsible for bringing all the dancers and football players together and creating an amazing event that we never thought would last more than one year. The first two years the show took place I danced in the show and organized a large majority of the responsibilities. The last two years I took a step back and helped on a behind the scenes basis. As the spokesperson for, The Rob Wagner Dance Benefit Show, I feel I deserve to win one of the 3 Lionheart's for the Grand Award because of the tremendous impact this event has had, not only on myself and Rob, but the dozens and dozens of other young men and women who have put in hours upon hours of hard work, sweat, tears and emotion to help another person in need.

Help him out by voting here so that he can win $10,000 towards this worthy cause. He's done all the work. All you need to do is click your mouse.

Thanks!

Drive-Bys

Knock on wood, we've had one of the loveliest Springs I can ever remember here in Chicago -- warm weather, just enough rain to make things grow; not enough rain to drown them.
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What's true for the Metra trains is also true for the El -- in a contest between man and speeding vehicle on rails, the speeding vehicle will win. Always.

Lest you think this is a rare thing here, on my way home from the Cubs game on Friday I saw six spectacularly drunken and stupid fans try to get themselves run over by a Metra train not 50 feet from where I was standing. I know the engineer on that train must have had brown stains all the way down the legs of his uniform pants. I almost did, myself. And those stupid fuckers laughed. (Sorry, but they are.) You know what? In their case, a $500 fine isn't nearly enough, and I'm sorry there were no cops handy. I'd have volunteered to testify against them.
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I can see crankylitprof, caltechgirl and Mamacita all nodding and saying, "Yep. That's about par for the course..."

Me: “Oh, is this for an Ethics class?”

Customer: “Yes! I didn’t want to pay for the book, so I photocopied it. Do you think the professor is going to like how resourceful I am?”

Me: “I’m sure you’ll have a very lively discussion about it.”

Indeed.
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If you're on Facebook, you'll want to go read this if you have concerns about your privacy settings (and you should):

Facebook is now sharing your personal profile information with third parties. For now, it's just a few web sites, like the music site Pandora, and the consumer review site, Yelp.

Facebook is automatically sharing that information, without your consent. If you don't want to share, you have to opt out.

Dandy. Just freaking dandy.
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Giggle of the Day:

(For to Stedman and Gus and Fiona. I owed them.)
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Ear Worm of the Day:

Quick Stop

Blame my pay LibertyChick... and ask her when she's going to start her own blog, will ya?

Sunday Shows

When I was growing up in Chicago, these two shows were on every Sunday morning:

... and...

If anyone knows where I can find a video with The Magic Door theme song and Tiny Tov, let me know!

Sunday Schedule

A Meme... by Ken Levine:

Who, what or which?

Who is more famous? John Denver or Bob Denver? Bob Denver

Who was better on CHEERS? Shelley Long or Kirstie Alley? Shelley Long

Which show was better? THE BOB NEWHART SHOW or NEWHART? Yeesh, that's tough! Okay... Newhart, but only because otherwise we'd never have met Larry, Darryl and Darryl.

What show is better? MAD MEN or BREAKING BAD? Mad Men

Who do you love to hate more? Simon Cowell or Ann Coulter? Ann Coulter (Simon's at least entertaining. Coulter's just shrill.)

What’s the most hated team in America? The New York Yankees or the Dallas Cowboys? Yankees, definitely

What’s better? Coke or Pepsi? Water. I don't like most sugary carbonated beverages.

Who’s the best Jr.? Ken Griffey or Sammy Davis? Sammy

Who would get rustier going through a carwash? Robocop or a Transformer? Robocop

Who is more famous? Carrie Fisher or Eddie Fisher? Carrie (Eddie would've looked lousy in the Princess Leia bikini costume.)

Who’s more famous? Sweet Caroline or Caroline Kennedy? Sweet Caroline

What’s worse? Brussels sprouts or cauliflower? Okra

Who’s better? Sean Connery or Daniel Craig? George Lazenby

Which is better? Mac or PC? PC

Who’s scarier? Jason or Jigsaw? Who can tell? I watch that kind of movies with my hands over my eyes... and that's only if you've managed to drag me to the theater.

Who’s scarier? Faye Dunaway or Sarah Palin? Dunaway, definitely

Who has the better cereal name? Coco Crisp or Sugar Bear Floyd Rayford? Coco Crisp (It's just more fun to say.)

Who’s more annoying? The Progressive Insurance Girl or the Geico lizard? The Geico gekko

Who’s a better hitter? Alfonzo Soriano or Carlos Zambrano? Zambrano (Just ask that Gatorade cooler he wailed on last summer!)

Who’s funnier? Jon Stewart of Conan O’Brien? Craig Ferguson

Who has the best lousy pizza? Dominos or Pizza Hut? Dominos

Who is more famous? Marilu Henner or Mary Lou Retton? Marilu Henner

Which is better? Facebook or actually having friends? Friends, hands down!

You can play if you want to. Tag your own self.
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Smartest dog ever?



(A tip of the cap to the Sweetheart of Shell Knob, MO!)

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Clearly I love photography... but I also know and love some pretty cool photographers, too. Erica has really come into her own since she got a hold of a real camera instead of using her cell phone all the time. Go here and see.

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My taste buds have really changed since I quit smoking. My favorite snack in the whole wide world (next to tasty, tasty bacon) used to be salt and vinegar potato chips. Now I can breeze right through the salty snack aisle without blinking. What's happening to me???

I did find a new bit of naughtiness to tempt me at the checkout at my local Walgreen's, however.

"Who pays $.33 for one lousy piece of caramel?" I thought.

Then I tried one. Oh. Dear. Lord. Forget all the other flavors -- just get the Original Vanilla.

Buttery. Creamy. Gooey. Melty on the tongue. Trust me -- they're positively sinful... and worth every penny!

(Don't believe me? Buy me one and then sit back and watch my eyes roll back in my head in ecstasy and the happy chair dance that follows.)
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Word of the Day: "Artichokie"

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Boobs of Justice? So that's what you call them? Not according to Blogthings:

You Should Call Your Boobs "The Iliad & the Odyssey"

Sexy!

What Should You Nickname Your Boobs?

Blogthings: Discover the Parts of Your Personality that Have Been Hiding

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Happy-Making Story of the Day:

About three years ago, a woman and her boy walked into a woodcarving club meeting at the community center and asked if they offered any classes for children.

"We all looked at each other," Weiser said. "I said, 'I'd be glad to teach him if you get permission to use the room.' And she did."

That boy brought friends and soon Weiser had so many students he needed to call in fellow club members to help with the classes.

"It really spread," he said.

Yep. It makes me smile.

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Giggle of the Day:

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

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Ear Worm of the Day:

Saturday Ramblings

Giggle of the Day:

Somewhere in Hollywood, my girl Kathy Bates is cackling with glee!

Towanda!

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Besides that itty bitty earthquake, Boobquake shook out some interesting -- and positive -- responses from the Muslim community!

Well done.

(I'm a proud supporter, if you hadn't already guessed.)

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Quote of the Day:

“PEMBROKE WELSH CORGI!”

You'll never think of that breed the same way again. Trust me.

(My apologies to Stedman and Gus and Fiona. And my thanks to Og. I still haven't stopped laughing!)

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Great Reader finally pokes his head out from that rock he's been hiding under to say, "It's Soldier Saturday! Let's Dance!" Alrighty then!

Time for a little "Ding Dong Song":

And then there's the rest of the crew:

Billy Sweetfeet Gingersnap Norton is rocking with the River Dancing Chimps.

Peedee hits the beach with the Kings of Leon.

Harper is standing on the corner of where the sidewalk ends and where the music begins.

Ann T. Hathaway has a moving tribute to the 96th Engineers (Colored).

John Ruberry and the Stray Cats are rumbling in Brighton.

I am personally cursing Ken Levine for this First of May ditty that will be stuck in my cranium for at least the next week. (I almost stole it, really.)

What's got your toes tapping?

Update: Kerrcarto wants to know Why Have You Been Gone So Long?

Even Gawker supports this one!

Book Your Ticket

I'm still hanging in there with my sole New Year's resolution. Here's April's mish-mash of literary sustenance:

• Me Cheeta: My Life in Hollywood, Cheeta the Chimp*
• Without Fail, Lee Child*
• What She Wants, Cathy Kelly*
• Angel Mine, Sherryl Woods*
• Deadly Deals, Fern Michaels*
• I Would Lick It For Hours: Two Lumps – Year One, Mel Hynes and J. Grant
• The Sculptress, Minette Walters
• Lost & Found, Jacqueline Sheehan
• Once Again to Zelda: The Stories Behind Literature’s Most Intriguing Dedications, Marlene Wagman-Geller
• Key Witch, Robert Tacoma*
• Key Manatee, Robert Tacoma*
• Key Lucky, Robert Tacoma*

A friend of a friend recently asked to take a peek at the archive on my Kindle. Her comment? "Boy, you really do have eclectic taste in books, don't you?"

Yes, I do.

(53 books consumed, year-to-date.)

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*Read on Kindle.

And those three Robert Tacoma books in a row? I'm currently in the middle of a very tough read and needed to put it down every once in a while. What's the tough read? Tune in next month. I'll finish it by then.

Saturday Morning Cartoons

And friends...

How could you not love a cartoon with characters named "Gloop" and "Gleep"?