Drive-Bys

Question of the Week:

"I've been a derelict blogger the last couple weeks, but you've been fooking nonexistent! What, did you go to Ireland again and get married?" -- My Norwegian Pal from the North Woods

Ummm... no and no (although the former would be nice) (and the latter is not high on my bucket list... although there's a certain smolderingly hot Italian bartender from one of my favorite Dublin pubs who would at least have me toying with the idea for a day or two if: a) I had enough Black Bush in my system and b) I'd completely taken leave of my senses).

Work has been crazy busy. That Was Then opened, and I've been helping out with front-of-the-house stuff like box office and concessions (including an odd experience with a strange little woman who looked like a character straight out of The Simpsons, but that's a story for another day). This required convoluted train scheduling and extra travel time. I've been up to my eyeballs in biographies -- looooooooooong biographies. I was sick one day. I didn't feel like it a few times. I got distracted a few more times.

Between Mad Mikey and Harper, however, I've been suitably chastised... and it's nice to have been missed.

Now back to my regularly scheduled blogging...
_____

So now it's scientifically proven:

[S]cientists claim to have settled the score once and for all: Guinness tastes better in Ireland than anywhere else.

Experts from the Institute of Food Technologists carried out extensive taste surveys in 33 cities in 14 countries to find the best place for a pint of the black stuff.

And the majority of testers said they enjoyed a pint of plain in Ireland far more than in any other location.

The study, which claims to be the first to scientifically prove that the stout doesn't travel well, used 'non-expert' tasters, each from different countries, to conduct the test.

It took 103 in 71 different pubs where factors such as pub ambience, Guinness appearance, flavour, and aftertaste were all considered.

Using a Visual Analogue Scale which ranks enjoyment from 1-100, Guinness drinking in Ireland averaged a score of 74, compared to just 57 anywhere else.

There's another reason, not raised by this article:

The only place their Quality Team shows up to inspect taps, lines, refrigeration temperatures and the like, and where they'll yank the publican's license if they don't comply with their quality standards is Ireland.

(And I certainly would have volunteered to be a part of that tasting panel!)
_____

Classic Obama -- Asking one Arab nation, which is currently making government protests illegal, to arm another Arab nation's rebels... and being surprised when he doesn't get a response.
_____

_____

Guilty of driving while webbing? You’re not alone. An online State Farm survey found 19 percent of drivers say they use the Web while driving.

As someone who was hit by a taxi driver when he yakked away on his cell phone, may I just say this:

Get the fuck off the phone when you're behind the wheel.

Thank you.
_____

Once again George R.R. Martin toys with my emotions:

The next book in George R.R. Martin’s bestselling A Song of Ice and Fire series has a publication date.

Yes, we swear, after waiting six long years since the release of the last novel in the saga, the fabled Book 5 A Dance With Dragons is close enough to being finished* for Martin’s publisher to set a release date. We have that date, exclusively, along with a first look at the book’s cover art and an interview with the man himself.

A Dance With Dragons will be published by Bantam on July 12, 2011. The manuscript is huge — the publisher estimates the hardcover edition will run more than 900 pages, putting it about the same length as the longest book in the series, A Storm of Swords. Schedule your summer vacation accordingly.

His last book in this series had at least three "firm" publication dates on Amazon.com, and each one came and went whizzing by over the course of more than 18 months.

Yes, I know. You've all seen publication dates before: dates in 2007, 2008, 2009. None of those were ever hard dates, however. Most of them... well, call it wishful thinking, boundless optimism, cockeyed dreams, honest mistakes, whatever you like.

This date is different. This date is real.

I call bullshit. He hasn't even turned in the final manuscript yet... because it's not DONE yet.

Oh, well. At least we now know what the cover will look like.
_____

The good folks at CSN Stores apparently like me and my readers, as they've authorized me to do another give-away. I'm still figuring out just what kind of contest it'll be. In the meantime, start sharpening your wits if you want to win. Stay tuned!

Book Your Ticket

Whoohoo! Amazon has finally made Kindle books loanable!

Not all books are loanable. To find out how to tell which ones are and which ones aren't, go here.

Once you know you can loan one, how do you do it? Go here for the details.

Someone you know has loaned you a book on Kindle and you need to know how to get it onto whatever Kindle reader you use? Go here.

Don't have a Kindle, but would like to read Kindle books? Go here for apps for your PC, iPad, smart phone, etc.

There are more answers to frequently asked questions here.

What are you waiting for?
_____

While you're at it, go to the Kindle Facebook page for contests for Amazon Kindle swag.

Sunday Schedule

Two of my childhood favorites in one!

Fabulous and equally as campy and preposterous as the originals!

_____

Apparently my recap of my 2010 reading list inspired my pal Mike to do the same. Oddly, there's not a romance or chick lit book in the bunch... (heh).

_____

I'm starting my 2011 Christmas list early. I want one of these...

... because it's true.

_____

There are two camera give-aways going on over at photofocus -- first, one for a Mamiya RZ67 Pro IID ProValue Pak film camera; second, for a Canon 5DMKII DSLR camera. The only hitch is you've got to Tweet to win.

_____

Finally, an alternative to simply warehousing Alzheimers sufferers:

Disregarding typical nursing-home rules, Beatitudes allowed Ms. Nance, 96 and afflicted with Alzheimer’s, to sleep, be bathed and dine whenever she wanted, even at 2 a.m. She could eat anything, too, no matter how unhealthy, including unlimited chocolate.

And she was given a baby doll, a move that seemed so jarring that a supervisor initially objected until she saw how calm Ms. Nance became when she rocked, caressed and fed her “baby,” often agreeing to eat herself after the doll “ate” several spoonfuls.

Dementia patients at Beatitudes are allowed practically anything that brings comfort, even an alcoholic “nip at night,” said Tena Alonzo, director of research. “Whatever your vice is, we’re your folks,” she said.

Sign me up right now.

_____

The Chicago mayoral race has certainly taken a turn for the weird with Carol Mosely Braun being considered the "unity candidate" for the black community in Chicago. (I'd really like to know what dirt they had on the actual poll leading Danny Davis to get him to back off.) Given Braun's history of demonstrably bad judgment, and the fact that Jesse Jackson's filthy fingerprints are all over this turn of events, I'm confident she'll do or say something -- and probably a lot of things -- to get herself blown right out of the race.

I find it sad that the black community leadership consistently puts forward the same deeply-flawed candidates who have only their own personal interests at heart. Trust me when I say that Jesse didn't make this happen for the good of the black community. He knows he can't get elected himself, so he's flagrantly working to become the power behind the throne.

In the meantime, the media has mostly missed out on this story of how the Latino community in Chicago is doing the exact opposite:

In a private room inside the upscale East Bank Club, a group of young Latino professionals that included staffers from several Chicago mayoral campaigns sat down recently to talk about a shared interest: power and how to get it.

Juan Rangel, co-chairman of Rahm Emanuel's mayoral bid and head of the influential United Neighborhood Organization, stood at the front of the room. Before him, he saw the next generation of Chicago's political leaders, corporate chieftains and cultural tastemakers.

As the city gears up to elect its first new mayor in 21 years, Rangel said Latinos are at a crossroads and, with his UNO colleagues, is preparing up-and-coming professionals for a place at the table, no matter who replaces Richard Daley.

"It's not about being altruistic; put that aside," Rangel, 45, told the 36 smartly dressed men and women who had gathered for a lesson in political hardball through UNO's Metropolitan Leadership Institute. "If you don't have power, you'll never get to first base."

Actually, the Illinois GOP should take a page or two right out of this playbook.
_____

A belated, but most Happy New Year to you all:

_____

Bump in the Road

Remember Densey and Mary Cole and the dream wedding contest at Crate & Barrel?

Apparently having far and away the most votes of any of the couples entered didn't count, and they ended up with an honorable mention.

So... I reached out to Nicola at Tropical Casablanca Hotel, who offered, if the Coles didn't win at C&B, to make their dreams come true anyway.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed and sending up a LOT of prayers. Please do the same, will you?

I'm a die-hard romantic, and I really do want to see this story have a happy ending for the Coles.

Denver Boot

Yes, my left foot is indeed broken. I'm off this afternoon to the foot and ankle doc to get my very own tastefully stylish "Denver Boot"

Yeah. That's what I feel like about right now.

HOWEVER... I need a good story as to how this came about. Get creative in the comments, folks. And make alcohol only minimally a part of whatever great story you come up with. Surely you know me well enough by now to know that any could (and probably did) happen when it comes to moi. (And I've already told the boss it wasn't anything as exciting as landing wrong when I jumped down off the bar I was dancing on.)

_____

Update: Just to make this interesting, I'll take the winner of this here contest out drinking for a night. Even if that means I have to fly somewhere and book a hotel for myself. After all, I'm still overdue for a vacation.

I have the best and funniest readers on the planet. Knock yourselves out, will you?

Drive-Bys

I sure wish I was in Dublin for St. Pat's Day...


I miss Ireland!
_____

It's a 60-degree day outside today, yet I know... Winter Is Coming to toy with me, and on more than one level:

But we could see snow by the end of the week. The National Weather Service says rain or snow is likely Saturday and Sunday.

And...

Martin is already very close to finishing ADWD which would give him at a minimum five years to finish books 6 and 7 (no more that seven have been planned, the reader asking the question has it wrong), even longer if HBO waits more than a year in between seasons, which they frequently do. Yes, I know ADWD will have taken him five years to complete but I don’t think the last two will pose quite as many problems for Martin as AFFC and ADWD did.

Right. I believe I'll see snow. But I'm skeptical about Martin being close to finishing ADWD. His last update to the book said he was close back in January of 2008. He's managed to get several other books published in the meantime, just not the Fire & Ice book I'm so damned anxious to get in my hot little hands. (Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!! He lives to toy with my patience...)

P.S. -- They're filming in Ireland!
_____

Warm up your deep fryer: Saturday is National Corn Dog Day! (Register your party here. Buy your party pack here.)
_____

In honor of St. Paddy's Day:

Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced!

I play in a band, we're the best in the land
We're big in both Chelsea and France
I play one mean guitar and then score at the bar
There's a line of chicks waiting for their chance
So come on now honey, I'll make you feel pretty
These other gals mean nothing to me
Let's finish these drinks and be gone for the night
'Cause I'm more than a handful, you'll see

[Chorus:]
So kiss me, I'm shitfaced
I'm soaked, I'm soiled and brown
in the trousers, she kissed me
And I only bought her one round

I can bench press a car, I'm an ex football star
with degrees from both Harvard and Yale
Girls just can't keep up, I'm a real love machine
I've had far better sex while in jail
I've designed the Sears Tower, I make two grand an hour
I cook the world's best duck flambe
I'll take the pick of the litter, girls jockey for me
I don't need these lines to get laid

[Chorus]

I'm a man of the night, a real ladies delight
See my figure was chiseled from stone
One more for the gal then I'll escort her home
Come last call, I'm never alone
I've a house on the hill with a red water bed
That puts Hugh Heffnor's mansion to shame
With girls by the pool and Italian sports cars
I'm just here in this dump for the game

[Chorus x2]

Ahh, fuck it. Who am I shitting?

I'm a pitiful sight, and I ain't all that bright
I'm definitely not chiseled from stone
I'm a cheat and a liar, no woman's desire
I'll probably die cold and alone

But just give me a chance, 'cause deep down inside
I swear I got a big heart of gold
I'm a monogamous man, no more one night stands
Come on, honey, let me take you home

_____

Wearing o' the green?


see more Lol Celebs
_____

Quote of the Day:

What Freud said about the Irish is: We’re the only people who are impervious to psychoanalysis. -- William Monahan

_____

I'm heading out to Lloyd's for a Guinness and a plate full of corned beef, cabbage, carrots and new potatoes...
_____

Sign up here to win a trip to Ireland!
_____