Drive-Bys

I have another political crush -- Illinois Treasurer Dan Rutherford. I don't suppose we can cajole him into running in the next gubernatorial race, can we?
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Before I head out to see Gavin Coyle at the Irish American Heritage Center this Saturday evening, I'm going to spend the day at the Printer's Row Lit Fest. The line-up of workshops, authors and speakers looks fantastic.
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Knee-Slapper of the Day:

"[S]he’s a very natural girl."

Sorry. That should have come with a spit-take warning.
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Have you bought your ticket to come help Seanachai Theatre Company party with Frazier's dad yet?

No?

What are you waiting for? June 13th is right around the corner and it's not every day you get to hoist a pint with a celebrity!
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Drive-Bys

I actually agree with Janeane Garafolo on something. Hell just froze over.

Seriously.

I may never be the same again.

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Go read Wayne Allen Root. It's true, you know.

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There's a low tech way to accomplish this:

Todd Atwood says he doesn't worry too much about accidents when walking down the street using his iPhone to make calls, send text messages or check his e-mail.

But he's seen the consequences of paying more attention to the gadget than what's ahead.

"I saw someone walk right into a sign," recalled the 32-year-old Silicon Valley resident. "She didn't hurt herself but she was startled. She dropped her phone, then her friends starting laughing at her. It was funny but I guess it could've been more serious."

While using a cell phone while driving has triggered the most alarm bells and prompted laws in several states, experts say, pedestrians are also suffering the consequences of mobile distraction -- tripping on curbs, walking into traffic, even stepping into manholes as they chat or type while walking.

It's called putting the damned device down and paying attention. Novel, huh?

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This Terry Savage column on two little girls giving away "free" lemonade at their stand got a lot of airplay here in Chicago earlier today:

The three young girls -- under the watchful eye of a nanny, sitting on the grass with them -- explained that they had regular lemonade, raspberry lemonade, and small chocolate candy bars.

Then my brother asked how much each item cost.

"Oh, no," they replied in unison, "they're all free!"

I sat in the back seat in shock. Free? My brother questioned them again: "But you have to charge something? What should I pay for a lemonade? I'm really thirsty!"

His fiancee smiled and commented, "Isn't that cute. They have the spirit of giving."

That really set me off, as my regular readers can imagine.

"No!" I exclaimed from the back seat. "That's not the spirit of giving. You can only really give when you give something you own. They're giving away their parents' things -- the lemonade, cups, candy. It's not theirs to give."

I pushed the button to roll down the window and stuck my head out to set them straight.

"You must charge something for the lemonade," I explained. "That's the whole point of a lemonade stand. You figure out your costs -- how much the lemonade costs, and the cups -- and then you charge a little more than what it costs you, so you can make money. Then you can buy more stuff, and make more lemonade, and sell it and make more money."

I was confident I had explained it clearly. Until my brother, breaking the tension, ordered a raspberry lemonade. As they handed it to him, he again asked: "So how much is it?"

And the girls once again replied: "It's free!" And the nanny looked on contentedly.

No wonder America is getting it all wrong when it comes to government, and taxes, and policy. We all act as if the "lemonade" or benefits we're "giving away" is free.

What I found fascinating was how many callers to the John Williams Show suggested that if the girls charged for the lemonade, it would be good to donate their "profits" to charity so they would learn a valuable lesson.

I could visualize Terry banging her head repeatedly against a brick wall.

There was still no comprehension that the ingredients weren't free and had a value. That someone had to pay for those ingredients in order for their to be lemonade in the first place. That until those costs were repaid, it cost somebody.

Between that story and this one about the effects of taking competition out of schools, and you have to wonder what's in store for the coming generation's value systems.

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Giggle of the Day:

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

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One More Thing:

They made me laugh. (And my gorgeous daughter makes bacon waffles when I go to visit. Yum!)

Spilt...

... coffee?

(Thanks, Elizabeth!)

Drive-Bys

GoDaddy.com's customer service department lies:

We've received your question. You can expect a response within 24 hours.

Your Incident ID is: XXXXXXX

Or, talk with our highly trained, courteous support staff – they're waiting to take your call. Whatever time it takes to assist you, that's the time you'll receive: 24/7 Sales & Support: (480) 505-8877 - 24/7 Billing Support: (480) 505-8855.

Thanks,
GoDaddy.com

Hah! I got NO assistance from their Sales & Support line, and, in fact was told that I had to track down the account owner yesterday. Adding insult to injury, more than 24 hours since I first started trying to fix this mess, I still haven't gotten word that this has been resolved.

Don't do business with GoDaddy.com. Those douche bags are not careful with sensitive client data and their customer service stinks.

Update: Just to make sure I'm 100% accurate here, it's now been over 24 hours since the email answering my email to GoDaddy's customer service, sent almost 5 hours after my initial email, was received. I said it before and I'll say it again -- if you're doing business with GoDaddy, you are nuts.
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Real cringes? Lemme see...

I'm guilty as hell of #1 -- usually in harmony, and never quietly. (Just ask this guy. He's my most recent witness.) It makes me happy.

#2? Occasionally guilty. Big fat hairy deal. I also over use elipses.

#3? Nope. Whatever praying I have to do is between my Maker and me alone.

#4? WGN Channel 9 (news and Bozo's circus), CBS Channel 2, NBC Channel 5 and some crazy cable access channel back in the early 90's to promote this cat club's shows. (Admitting to belonging to a cat club? Now there's cringe-worthy!) But why stop there? I've also been on the radio a gazillion times, again promoting the cat show, but most recently doing a little segment for Drunks in the News. Shameful, I know, but hella fun.

#5? Never going to happen in this world or the next.

What's your definition of cringe-worthy?
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The scientifically proven ultimate hangover cure? A bacon sandwich! (Bacon! Yummy, yummy bacon!)

However, I think Friendly's new Grilled Cheese Burger Melt may just take second place...



... followed by the KFC Double Down...



Yep. All you'd need to complete the cure is an order of onion rings and big tall glass of ice cold milk.
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I was never a Jerry Seinfeld fan before, but I think I just became one:

Twelve days after Lady Gaga wound up in his box at Shea Stadium during a Mets game, Jerry Seinfeld has called her “a jerk” and then some. Joking or no? Read and decide.

“This woman is a jerk. I hate her,” Seinfeld said during a WFAN radio interview on Monday, perhaps . “I can’t believe they put her in my box, which I paid for.”

Gaga, dressed in bra and swilling beer, was moved from her front row seat to Seinfeld’s empty box (without his knowledge) after flipping off photographers.

“You give people the finger and you get upgraded? Is that the world we’re living in now?” he said.

Seinfeld first said when asked about the June 10th incident, reports the NY Post, “I wish her the best.. you take one ‘A’ off of that and you’ve got gag.”

“I don’t know what these young people think or how they promote their careers,” Seinfeld said. “I’m older, I’m 56. I look at Lady Gaga the way Keith Hernandez watches these kids when they pull the pocket out, they wear the inside-out pocket. … Do you think he understands that? He can’t understand that. That’s a new game, that’s kids.”

He added, “I’m not one of these all-publicity-is-good people. People talk about you need exposure — you could die of exposure.”

You go, sir!
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In another stunning example of the Dunning-Kruger Effect, the federal goverment halts the dredging of sand berms in Louisiana the same day the cap was removed from the leaking well in the gulf.

No matter how you slice it or dice it, dredging sand berms can't be any more harmful than letting that gusher continue to flow unabated.

Smooth move, folks. I grant you major style points for the sheer breathlessness and sweeping scope of your complete and utter incompetency.
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Ear Worm of the Day:



Name the writer.
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Giggle of the Day:


see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Drive-Bys

Customer Clusterf*ck:

I don't know what the folks at GoDaddy are thinking these days, but they've lost Joanie as a new customer through sheer ineptitude, and, if my own freaky experience with them in the past couple of days is any indication, there's no way I'd ever become a customer, either.

Here's the deal -- if you have a screen name of "POTATOB75" and are GoDaddy Customer No. 64814403, you should drop me an email (omnibus dot driver at gmail dot com). I have your login name, your receipt number and know exactly how much you spent for your site because the good folks at GoDaddy texted it to my cell phone -- twice.

I tried calling GoDaddy and explaining to them that they needed to update their records and notify the correct account holder.

GoDaddy's customer service rep ever so helpfully informed me that I would have to contact the account holder, as they had no way of even opening the account information without the verification number given at the time of sale.

[Bangs head repeatedly against monitor!!!]

I dutifully called the two different numbers GoDaddy appeared to be texting (a different one in each text message), only to find that neither puzzled woman had any idea of what I was talking about, and had no business with GoDaddy.

[Bang, bang, BANG!!!]

I emailed all of this to GoDaddy's customer service folks, got a computer-generated response saying I'd hear back from them within 24 hours. NOT.

Seriously, if you're doing business with this company, WHAT are you thinking?
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Oooooooooooo! Pretty!
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Giggle of the Day... for my friend in the Cheese Aisle:


see more Lolcats and funny pictures
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Quote of the Day:

Dunning and Kruger argued in their paper, “When people are incompetent in the strategies they adopt to achieve success and satisfaction, they suffer a dual burden: Not only do they reach erroneous conclusions and make unfortunate choices, but their incompetence robs them of the ability to realize it. Instead, like Mr. Wheeler, they are left with the erroneous impression they are doing just fine.”

It became known as the Dunning-Kruger Effect — our incompetence masks our ability to recognize our incompetence.

And, no -- they're not talking about Obama and his band of merry morons. Then again, maybe they are. Think I'm kidding?

And now, there's the Kyl controversy. On June 18, Kyl told a town meeting in North Phoenix that Obama personally told him the administration will not secure the U.S.-Mexico border because doing so would make it politically difficult to pass comprehensive immigration reform. "I met with the president in the Oval Office, just the two of us," Kyl said. "Here's what the president said. The problem is, he said, if we secure the border, then you all won't have any reason to support comprehensive immigration reform."

"In other words," Kyl continued, "they're holding it hostage. They don't want to secure the border unless and until it is combined with comprehensive immigration reform."

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This shouldn't have made me giggle... but it did.
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Thinking about buying an ebook reader? The prices are going down!

(Short of the phone call telling me my daughter was trying to find me, my Kindle is the best Christmas gift I've ever gotten.)
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Ear Worm of the Day:

Drive-Bys

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Jihad Gene says, "It's Friday! Let's Dance!" and he's doing it doggie style.

Alrighty then. I'll see your Gloria Gaynor and raise you a Mark and Julee Weems:



(Swiped gleefully from Patti.)

And what've you got?
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Giggle of the Day:


see more Lolcats and funny pictures
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Quote of the Day:

You might know Jesus, but that won’t stop you from getting Tasered.

Go see more of Spark Check here. He hasn't been blogging long, but, by jinkies, he's good.
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I wouldn't go on a Cougar cruise for anything. And I certainly wouldn't let anyone take my picture or interview me about the experience.

That's positively pathetic.
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I am not at all happy with either of Illinois' choices for senatorial candidates this year, but...

... if I have to choose between a guy with a decent congressional track record but a penchant for self-puffery and a guy who lent money to mobsters and lost family bank at great cost to the taxpayer, but who called it "selling" the bank, and who lost millions of taxpayer dollars by his mismanagement of a college savings fund and lied about the extent of the loss in his first elected position, well... I know who I'm not voting for.
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I found Buzz Aldrin positively creepy on this season's Dancing With The Stars... but his wife is truly a horror show. Is is me, or does she make drag queens look positively straight-laced?
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How many months into his term in office are we before he puts this policy in place:

Don't Pay Dead People

Swell. Nice to see that, as usual, he's on top of things.
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Saw this and thought of Elisson... who's now Lost in the Cheese Aisle (without his little white chune box, apparently...). Now that's a colander!
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Boy meets girl. What a cool story! (Any bets on this becoming, at a minimum, a movie of the week?)
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Oops

This shouldn't make me giggle...



... but it did. It's all his fault.

Quick Stop

Giggle of the Day:

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Headline of the Day:

Scientists to analyse Ozzy Osbourne's genome to find out why he is still alive

Haaaaaaaaaahahahaha!!!
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From the Department of Damned If You Do and Damned If You Don't:

Scientists found that free-range eggs contain at least five times higher levels of certain pollutants than normal eggs.

Around 17 per cent of the free range eggs had levels that European regulators would have deemed unsafe for consumption....

Free-range chickens are those that have continuous access to fresh air, sunshine, and exercise, in contrast to chickens that are confined to cages.

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Drive-Bys

Jihad Gene is, once more, late to the party...

"It's Friday! Let's Dance!"

How 'bout a little Watusi Boogaloo?



Kerrcarto is ready for some Friday Jammin'!
Patti assures us, "This, Too, Shall Pass"
Meanwhile, Billy Sweetfeets Gingersnap Norton is doing the Chicken Monkey Duck.
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Tomorrow, I'm going to Lit Fest with my Author Blog Son and this Hairy Norwegian from the Frozen North, along with another good friend of mine who doesn't blog. None of them have met before, but I have every confidence it'll be a fantastic day!
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Quote of the Day:

This is a lovey set of Nipple Rings. They are delicate, yet full of your Firery Desires. Your lover will be inflamed by your engoreged Nipples. Just imagein swimming in the surf with these on. It will bring out the Mermaid in You, and the Lust in Him. But remember, these Shiny Little Nuggets are Capable of Fire !

Maybe El Cap could use a set to go along with his new counting machine?
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Giggle of the Day:


see more Lolcats and funny pictures
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And I'm outta here to get ready for this event. Hope to see you there!

Drive-Bys

Finally a sunny day!


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Everything that's wrong with America today can be summed up in one simple post.
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Don't have the pickup truck that's just begging for a pair of bumper nuts to shout your masculinity to the entire world? Fear not! Just think a bit smaller... and you, too, can display your studliness to the masses. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! Sexy.

(A tip of the cap to Calvin's Mom for the giggle.)
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Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! George has more distractions keeping him from finishing Dance. (Horndog!)

He'd better get cracking (and quit flaunting all the damned fun he's having while he's keeping us waiting), or my fiance and I are going after him together... and it won't be pretty.
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Now I'm off to meet Mr. Bill and also to rustle up a little more swag for the silent auction Friday night....

Drive-Bys

Giggle of the Day, Part the First:

'Marjorie, dear. How would you like to play a big part in stopping an environmental disaster?'

What? It's better than anything Obama or BP have come up with so far.
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Yesterday I got up early, put my jeans on and went to work.

Jeans?

Yes.

I was fully convinced it was Friday.

I walked into the office, wandered over to my cube and went to work.

It wasn't until 11:00 a.m. when I got up to hit the water cooler that my office manager came over to say hello... and then she did a double-take.

"Leslie, you're wearing jeans?"

"Well, yeah. It's Friday."

"No, it isn't."

"Yes, it is."

"No, really, it isn't."

"Now look -- I know holiday weeks screw me up beyond belief, but I know it's Friday."

I had to look at the date on my phone and the calendar on the wall to be convinced that no, it wasn't.

Sheesh. That's almost as embarassing as the time...

Yeah. I have my moments.
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Quote of the Day, Part I:

Don't you want to see a gopher do the Taser flop?

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It may be a dandy curiosity, but this is not art.
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The Blagoviator's trial has finally begun here in Chicago and, of course, he swears up and down he'll take the stand. Eric Zorn says he won't testify.

Personally, I'm kind of torn on this. Half of me says the guy simply cannot muzzle himself, even when it's in his own best interest. The other half says Zorn's right and he can't stand the heat of direct scrutiny.

What's your take?
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Monkey Goggles.

(I just love the name. The fact that it's a cool blog is secondary.)
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Quote of the Day, Part II:

Me: “Sorry, sir, but Igloo begins with an I.”

Caller: “The heck it does! Igloo is spelled E-G-L-U-E. I have a G.E.D you can’t pull one over on me, Mr. Fancy Pants!”

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Giggle of the Day, Part the Second:


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Giggle of the Day, Part the Third:


see more Lolcats and funny pictures
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Jihad Gene is bidgee doing something or other... so I guess it's up to me to get this party started.

"It's Friday! Let's Dance!"



So what's got your toes tapping today?

Can't decide? Go visit Elisson and see what he's got teed up on the Little White Chune Box.

And if that doesn't do it for you, Billy Sweetfeets Gingersnap Norton has an interesting foreign import for you.

Update:

Jimbo is popping some Halapeenas.

Kerrcarto gave out a Friday Rebel yell!

Paul kicks off a little Friday night anarchy.

Fausta is serving up a little late night Tango.
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Bells Are Ringing

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Again and again I've said I'm happy being single.

And I was... until I found my soulmate. My bashert.

Who knew that Joe Pesci was such a marvelous combination of piss and pith?

Behold:

Almost done with Dance my ass. Your recent blog posts indicate you were able to spend a little bit of your free time with the book. Don't do us any favors Rumpel Jiggleskin. Thanks for making it a priority, but after 5 years he probably gives less of a shit about than I do.

See? He has a blog called, "Finish the Book, George" and he's getting crankier by the day waiting for George R.R. Martin to finish A Dance with Dragons.

"Rotunda"
"Chubbles"
"Captain Carrotcake"
"Lord Beefarino"
"Rumpel Jiggleskin"

Pure poetry!

Remember my own temptation to go all Kathy Bates on ol' Georgie's ass? Here's my own true love on that same subject:

If Ray had put on one of those operation pink hats and charged the booth to berate Captain Carrotcake, I would have first kicked him in the nuts and then sent him to the woodshed (that’s not just catchphrase, we actually have a woodshed were we get all “Fargo” on people who piss us off). For those of you unfamiliar with Fargo, rent it and bring a date.

I'm telling you, Joe and I are a match made in heaven. Now all I have to do is track him down and drag his happy hiney down the aisle...

(A tip of the cap to the good folks at Winter Is Coming, who are responsible for introducing me to my beloved. Y'all are invited to be in the wedding party, okay? I'll even wear my Auntie Omnibus costume for that special day.)

Drive-Bys

Quote of the Day:

Manscaping with a Bic
is the blue fairy godmother of all bad ideas.

Og rocks. (And I snorted coffee halfway down the hall when I read his post.)
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In Chicago Blackhawk fever reigns supreme. Hawk gear is selling like hotcakes everywhere, and even cultural icons such as the lions in front of the Art Institute of Chicago are sporting the Indian.

Michael Jordan is looking reedonkulous rockin' the red jersey:



But the place where it really gets nuts is down in the comments here, where the true Hawks fans find fault with the color of his helmet.

We've truly lost it, folks.

(P.S. -- Go, Blackhawks!)
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For all you fans of Chicago blues, I've got good news -- Buddy Guy's new joint is finally open for business!

What? You don't know who Buddy Guy is???



He's the one on the right. There ya go.
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For Erica and Elisson and Eli Hizzownself, Giggle of the Day:



And for Denny. Can't for get him!
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Rules of the Road

Don't try this at home:

Teen Driver Crashes While Trying To Hold Breath
Driver No Stranger To Bad Luck

WHEATLAND, N.Y. - Police say four teenagers trying to hold their breath for the time it takes to drive through an upstate New York hamlet were hurt when the driver fainted.

Authorities say three 19-year-old men and a 16-year-old boy were traveling together late Monday night when they decided to try to hold their breath while riding through Garbutt, a rural Rochester-area hamlet that's just three-tenths of a mile long.

Monroe County sheriff's deputies say 19-year-old Bryan Parslow of Caledonia fainted while driving and his car hit a boulder.

All four teens were treated at a hospital and released.

Parslow is no stranger to bad luck. He's a paraplegic who was paralyzed in 2008 after falling out of a window in Brockport while attending college.

Police gave him a ticket for failing to stay in his lane.

Copyright MYFOXNY.COM/The Associated Press contributed to this report.

Right there is what you call a future Darwin Award Winner.

(They say the third time's a charm, dude. One more awesome stunt should do it.)

Sunday Schedule

Just a few images from my recent rambles:

I fell in love with this handsome guy on Dearborn Street in the Gold Coast today. He almost looks alive!

My favorite shade of green.

Who knew?

Color so rich you could just scoop it up and eat it with a spoon.

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Giggle of the Day:

From those wacky guys at The Awesomer. It's a Masterpiece Theatre/Jackass hybrid.

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Yeesh! People of Public Transport is like People of Walmart... as seen through the lens of the Wiseass Jooette.

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Go see the Advice Goddess for the Question of the Day.

It's a humdinger.

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Ear Worm of the Day:

Mmmmmmmmmmmm!!!

Bust Ups

Blame it on Pamibe... and my finally catching up on my regular blog reads...

Rules of the Road

If you do this, you, my friend, are such an addict that it's freaking sad:

Healless, a certified nurse's assistant at Fair Oaks Health Care Center in Crystal Lake, allegedly would enter the patient's room, roll her on her side, then poke holes in her fentanyl patch with a safety pin, Crystal Lake Deputy Police Chief Eugene Lowery said. The woman, who was mentally and physically incapacitated, didn't realize what he was doing, police said.

Healless would allegedly squeeze the fentanyl patch so the drug, a narcotic painkiller given to people in constant pain, would ooze out of the patch, and then he'd lick it off his fingers.

Eeew.
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If you must be addicted to something, make it reading blogs by really, really funny writers... like Momma Fargo, and not like her perp-of-the-day, DOODOO:

DOODOO: This takes a long time.

ME: Tell me about it.

DOODOO: doo..doo...doo...doo. [swayed back and forth]

ME: Jeopardy?

DOODOO: Yep. Help me out.

DOODOO: doo..doo...doo...doo.

ME: doo..doo...doo...doo

We swayed in unison. Pretty soon...

INTERCOM: [male voice] What are you guys doing?

ME: Jeopardy.

INTERCOM: This is jail. Be serious. Does he know where he is? Bubba's waiting for him.[laughing]

DOODOO: [whispers to me]Who is that?

ME: [whispered back] The Man.

DOODOO: Oh. How did he know what we were doing?

ME: The Man knows everything.

DOODOO: Oh.

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Why don't I drive anymore? I dunno. Maybe because...

A Tribune investigation at the time found that Cook County judges routinely granted supervisions to drivers who already had a dozen or more. In response, judges formed a committee to study limiting supervisions, but nothing came of it. New judges were trained to take traffic cases seriously, including a trip to meet people paralyzed from crashes, but they were given no limit on discretion.

Area courts kept issuing supervisions to chronic offenders, often wrapped in quick plea deals negotiated by harried prosecutors. The deal remained the norm for offenders such as Michael Walt.

He bragged online about all the tickets he'd gotten, including seven for speeding and three for crashes. He eventually garnered three convictions close enough together to trigger a license suspension, but his lawyer got a Kane County judge to turn two of them into supervisions.

Walt got his license back and in March 2004 was speeding nearly 70 mph in a 45-mph zone when he slammed into a car driven by Brant's 17-year-old daughter Krista at Ogden Avenue and 75th Street in Aurora. The crash killed Walt's girlfriend, Lindsey Kelber, and Brant's 15-year-old son, Matt. Krista Brant was seriously injured but recovered.

Walt was later convicted of speeding, fined $1,200, ordered to do 160 hours of community service and had his license revoked....

Walt told licensing officials he was a changed man, got his license back in 2007 and moved to Florida. He hasn't had any tickets since. He declined to comment.

Sorry. I don't feel safe on the road any more.

The police are doing their jobs, but the courts are falling down --WAY down -- on this.
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Rubber-Necking

Weird internet searches that landed people here yesterday:

• johnny is a butt licker
• cat boot licker
• dark crystal dog's name
• jesus face on dog
• women cyclists peeing
• NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
• patrick stewart nude
• umbrellas stuck on heads
• turtle porn

Lovely. Just lovely.

Sunday Schedule

A Meme... by Ken Levine:

Who, what or which?

Who is more famous? John Denver or Bob Denver? Bob Denver

Who was better on CHEERS? Shelley Long or Kirstie Alley? Shelley Long

Which show was better? THE BOB NEWHART SHOW or NEWHART? Yeesh, that's tough! Okay... Newhart, but only because otherwise we'd never have met Larry, Darryl and Darryl.

What show is better? MAD MEN or BREAKING BAD? Mad Men

Who do you love to hate more? Simon Cowell or Ann Coulter? Ann Coulter (Simon's at least entertaining. Coulter's just shrill.)

What’s the most hated team in America? The New York Yankees or the Dallas Cowboys? Yankees, definitely

What’s better? Coke or Pepsi? Water. I don't like most sugary carbonated beverages.

Who’s the best Jr.? Ken Griffey or Sammy Davis? Sammy

Who would get rustier going through a carwash? Robocop or a Transformer? Robocop

Who is more famous? Carrie Fisher or Eddie Fisher? Carrie (Eddie would've looked lousy in the Princess Leia bikini costume.)

Who’s more famous? Sweet Caroline or Caroline Kennedy? Sweet Caroline

What’s worse? Brussels sprouts or cauliflower? Okra

Who’s better? Sean Connery or Daniel Craig? George Lazenby

Which is better? Mac or PC? PC

Who’s scarier? Jason or Jigsaw? Who can tell? I watch that kind of movies with my hands over my eyes... and that's only if you've managed to drag me to the theater.

Who’s scarier? Faye Dunaway or Sarah Palin? Dunaway, definitely

Who has the better cereal name? Coco Crisp or Sugar Bear Floyd Rayford? Coco Crisp (It's just more fun to say.)

Who’s more annoying? The Progressive Insurance Girl or the Geico lizard? The Geico gekko

Who’s a better hitter? Alfonzo Soriano or Carlos Zambrano? Zambrano (Just ask that Gatorade cooler he wailed on last summer!)

Who’s funnier? Jon Stewart of Conan O’Brien? Craig Ferguson

Who has the best lousy pizza? Dominos or Pizza Hut? Dominos

Who is more famous? Marilu Henner or Mary Lou Retton? Marilu Henner

Which is better? Facebook or actually having friends? Friends, hands down!

You can play if you want to. Tag your own self.
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Smartest dog ever?



(A tip of the cap to the Sweetheart of Shell Knob, MO!)

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Clearly I love photography... but I also know and love some pretty cool photographers, too. Erica has really come into her own since she got a hold of a real camera instead of using her cell phone all the time. Go here and see.

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My taste buds have really changed since I quit smoking. My favorite snack in the whole wide world (next to tasty, tasty bacon) used to be salt and vinegar potato chips. Now I can breeze right through the salty snack aisle without blinking. What's happening to me???

I did find a new bit of naughtiness to tempt me at the checkout at my local Walgreen's, however.

"Who pays $.33 for one lousy piece of caramel?" I thought.

Then I tried one. Oh. Dear. Lord. Forget all the other flavors -- just get the Original Vanilla.

Buttery. Creamy. Gooey. Melty on the tongue. Trust me -- they're positively sinful... and worth every penny!

(Don't believe me? Buy me one and then sit back and watch my eyes roll back in my head in ecstasy and the happy chair dance that follows.)
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Word of the Day: "Artichokie"

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Boobs of Justice? So that's what you call them? Not according to Blogthings:

You Should Call Your Boobs "The Iliad & the Odyssey"

Sexy!

What Should You Nickname Your Boobs?

Blogthings: Discover the Parts of Your Personality that Have Been Hiding

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Happy-Making Story of the Day:

About three years ago, a woman and her boy walked into a woodcarving club meeting at the community center and asked if they offered any classes for children.

"We all looked at each other," Weiser said. "I said, 'I'd be glad to teach him if you get permission to use the room.' And she did."

That boy brought friends and soon Weiser had so many students he needed to call in fellow club members to help with the classes.

"It really spread," he said.

Yep. It makes me smile.

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Giggle of the Day:

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

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Ear Worm of the Day:

Drive-Bys

Put-Down of the Day:

"You really are life's wet patch. An embarrassing little stain that no one wants to admit to.... or sleep on."

That's harsh.
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IT WASN'T ME!!!
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Oh. Dear. Lord.

Make it stop. Please?
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What took so long?

Chicago Schools CEO Ron Huberman on Tuesday touted a new "personal finance" class that is helping more than 900 high school students learn how to budget for college, do their taxes and make their money work for them -- all critical "life skills" in today's dour economy.

Financial literacy is especially important to the 86 percent of Chicago Public School students who come from low-income homes where parents might turn to expensive payday loans or currency exchanges for help, Huberman said.

"We want to make sure our students are armed with the financial literacy to understand any economic transaction they get into,'' Huberman said.

The eight-unit course that began as a pilot program this semester in 12 CPS high schools covers budgeting, saving, spending wisely, insurance, basic business models and the role of the marketplace.

I've been advocating for something like this for a long time. EVERY high school ought to have this class.
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How much do you want to bet that Anthony Bourdain and James Gottwald's babchi would get along famously? I'd give anything to be in the kitchen and at the table with those two, individually or simultaneously.
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Giggle of the Day, Part I:


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Giggle of the Day, Part II:


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Ear Worm of the Day:



Blame the owls.