Drive-Bys

I'll be spending New Year's Eve at the Omnibus Depot, as I really don't enjoy being out with the crazies without a designated driver and the promise of great company.

I'll also be missing the whisking away of ashtrays on the stroke of twelve tonight. Of course, this doesn't mean one has to quit. I'll be okay, as I'm ready, once more, to quit, and I think it will be easier to quit since there are less places to cheat.

I'm afraid that the state of Illinois is handling this one very badly, however. They charge more for cigarettes, give you less and less places to smoke, and then give you zero in the way of support for resources for quitting.

In fact, I sat next to an older gentleman last night who repeatedly asked, "What am I going to do? I gave up drinking. I can't give up smoking. I don't want to quit smoking. But all my friends go to places where there's going to be no smoking. What am I going to do? Sit alone in front of the television for 24 hours a day? I've been smoking for 40 years..." and on and on it went. This is a guy who thought it was a real accomplishment that he could go for more than an hour without a cigarette.

He broke my heart when he told me he was seriously contemplating suicide, rather than having to choose between smoking and his social life.

(Put that in your pipe and choke on it, all of you smug and self-righteous non-smokers who think it's so damned easy to quit.)

While you're out and about in Illinois tonight after midnight... and any time after that for at least the the next few months... be careful out there. I predict there's going to be more than just the usual level of road rage for quite some time.

Say a prayer for those folks who are about to have their lives turned upside down for a while, will you?

Suicide. Sheesh.
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This doesn't smack of entrapment, it is entrapment. What'll they do next to lure in the perverts? Have little girls sunbathe topless in the park?

(A tip of the cap to my BlogDaddy.)
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This is sick and senseless. Rotten little bastards.
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Wow! I hope they can eventually release these recordings on CD!
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Drive-Bys

I love, love, LOVE to entertain Erica. So who knew that I could find something guaranteed to make her grin through Grand Rounds of all things?

Then I stumbled over this little gem at LOLSECRETZ.com:

Who could resist?

(Certainly not moi.)
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Quote of the Day:

Tomorrow, we're going to the raunchy adult emporiums along South Street, to purchase the biggest, blackest, most-accessorized dildo ever to sport a kickstand and require a truck battery.

Must. Meet. This. Woman. She rocks.
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I bet this will be good news for RSM.
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The Chicago Tribune takes on the local media highlights for 2007. It's not just Chicago politics that ain't pretty.

Update: Via Beth, see the worst of the MSM in 2007, as well.
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So what was my Christmas present to myself this year? A new battery, one tire repair and a ride in a tow truck the day after Christmas... because there was no fixing it on Christmas day. Ho, ho, ho.

Big ol' smoocheroos to the Best Brother Evah, who drove one hour in each direction, not once, but twice in one day so I wouldn't miss Christmas with TMBCITW and TMPAE.

Wish me better automotive karma for 2008, will ya?
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If this isn't a load of bollocks, I don't know what is.

Drive-Bys

You Were Nice This Year

You Were 35% Naughty, 65% Nice Okay, so you weren't *entirely* nice this year, but Santa doesn't expect a modern girl to be perfect. You were good enough - and you'll be rewarded for it.

Were You a Naughty Girl or Nice Girl this Year?

(A tip of the Santa cap to Tammi.)

Drunk Lady Sings 12 Days of Christmas

Have a safe, happy and laughter-filled Christmas from the Divine Miss Marilyn and me! (And don't forget your designated driver, please...)

Bwahahahahaha!

Blame it all on LawDawg. Major spit-take alert!

Drive-Bys

You don't have to be a flake to make a flake. C'mon. It's fun!

(A tip of the cap to Sourpuss.)
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I have fallen seriously, deeply, hopelessly in lust.

(A rain of curses on the head of the Instapundit, who dangled that bit of temptation under my nose.)
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You Are 87% Burned Out

You are extremely burned out. You work too hard, and you're not getting the results you deserve. It's time for a life change, as soon as you can manage it. You're giving away most of your energy to something you don't even enjoy.

Are You Burned Out?

Yup. Not good. Not good at all...

(A tip of the cap to Richmond.)
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What Your Hands Say About You

You are logical, analytical, and rational. You have good verbal skills. Flexible and broad minded, you can fit in to any situation. There's no telling where your life will take you. Consistent and reliable, you like to count on structure and routine in your life. Your emotions tend to be nervous and potent. Your energy - both positive and negative - deeply impacts your life.

What Do Your Hands Say About You?

Chicago Christmas Classic

This played on the Ray Rayner show (WGN TV) all through the Christmas season when I was growing up.

A Glance In the Rear-View Mirror

This is one of my childhood favorites.

Drive-Bys

Once again I Can Has Cheezburger has me spewing all over my monitor.
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Whatever you do, don't tell the Princess Mom about this. She'd be lobbying for a Constitutional amendment ASAP.
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I'm no fan of Hillary's and that's a fact. However, just what does this have to do with her?

I hate dirty politics.

The End of the Line

Rosie has lost dear doggie pal Babe.

I told him, “Go on to the Bridge, Baby. Go on and wait for me there. I’ll be coming along before you know it.”

I’m burying him close to the house instead of where the other more active kids are. Babe was nearly deaf and blind and slept very deeply. Sometimes, he’d wake up and I would have left the room. He would track me in the house until he bumped into my feet. Then he’d look up and seemed to be saying, “Oh! There you are. I lost you for a minute there.”

I don’t want him to have to track too far to find me.

If that doesn't choke you up, you have no heart.

Drive-Bys

Your Score: Saffron

You scored 75% intoxication, 0% hotness, 75% complexity, and 50% craziness!

You are Saffron!

Those other spices have nothing on you! You're warm, smart, and you make people feel really good (and with no side-effects!). You can be difficult to get to know and require a lot of those who try, but you're so totally worth it. *Sigh*

Link: The Which Spice Are You Test written by jodiesattva on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

(A tip of the cap to Barry Campbell.)
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It figures that the mind that created this would come up with something like this. (And you can add this to my Christmas wish list.)

Long and Winding Road

Gleefully swiped from here.
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Erica has tagged me with an easy meme:

So what does it mean?

“I read their blogs because whether they are simply taking care of family or working to make others’ lives better, they do it with grace and dignity despite any roadblocks along the way.”

I'm flattered, truly, but she stole much of my thunder by tagging many of my usual gang of Blown-Eyed and Blown Star bloggers. Guess I'll have to tag some of my "outsider" favorites who manage to embody that sentiment... although I'd say some of them do it with more tenacity and hard-headedness than grace and dignity...

Helen, my BlogMama, Zuleme, Gottagopractice, Shari, Christine, LadyGunn, Meezer Mom Mary, Moody Mama Angie, Barb, Kate, my pal Livey, the Sweetheart of Shell Knob, MO and my wonderful kid.

Y'all knock me out. Really, you do.
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*Drool*
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The religion of peace. Right.
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121,287 People
(A tip of the cap to Becky.)
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More meme madness, thanks to Rosie:

“When people say ‘Christmas’ you immediately think…”

Oh, Dear Lord, I'm going to have to do the bosses' Christmas cards again. Arghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Favourite Christmas memory…”

I was always the first one out of bed on Christmas morning, and we learned at an early age that the Princess Mom and Darling Daddy would not even consider getting up until at least 7:30 a.m. I'd creep out of bed and wake my brother and sister, and we'd sneak downstairs. First order of business was opening stockings, which were the only gifts we were allowed to open before PM and DD joined the land of the living. The second order of business was to pull out every present from under the tree and parcel them out so that we were ready when the present-opening marathon began.

Also, the trip downtown to the Greyhound station to pick up the Christmas box from my favorite auntie every year. She was the biggest Christmas Fairy on the planet, and always overdid on the gifts. We couldn't wait to get that box home and open it up!

“Favourite Christmas song/carol…”

O Holy Night

“Favourite Christmas movie…”

Sleepless in Seattle

“Favourite Christmas character…”

Cindy Lou Who

“Favourite Christmas ornament/object…”

Every single one that my mother ever gave me.

“Plans for this Christmas…”

Christmas Day with my brother's family. Also time with MMPC and her (okay, our) family.

“Is Christmas your favourite holiday?”

Yup.

Okay, I'm not tagging anyone. But if this looks to be somewhere up your alley, have a blast.
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The LawDawg, Ambulance Driver and BabsRN have teamed up on another knuckle-biter. (I really do want to meet these folks some day. They're some kind of wonderful.)
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This is a great idea. Divorce doesn't have to be nearly as adversarial as the legal system can make it.

Drive-Bys

You'll die from an Unlikely Illness (like the plague).

You will unfortunately succumb to a random and unlikely disease. Only to find out after death that eating more broccoli would have cured you.

'How will you die?' at QuizGalaxy.com

(A tip of the cap to Dr. Helen.)
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Just when you thought Drew Peterson couldn't possibly get more offensive.... I'm telling you, the guy's brilliant.
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Da Mair is freaking out, CTA workers are planning a one day walk-off to demonstrate just how badly the Chicagoland area is dependent upon its services, and to what does our Governor turn his attention? Wrigley Field. Smashing. Simply smashing. His logic process defies description.
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Now here's an idea I could really get behind. (What took so long?)
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Drive-Bys

A couple of Blogthings via Ktreva:

You Should Have a Blue Christmas Tree

For you, the holidays represent a time of calm, understanding, and peace. You avoid family fights, and you don't get too stressed out - even when things are crazy! You like to make Christmas about making everyone's life a little bit better. You don't get caught up in greed or commercialism. You're too sincere for that. Your blue tree would look great with: Lots of silver tinsel You should spend Christmas Eve watching: It's a Wonderful Life What you should bake for Santa: Chocolate chip cookies

What Color Christmas Tree Should You Have?

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What The Holidays Mean to You

For you, the holidays are about emotional connections and bonds. You are happiest being around those you love. You celebrate the holidays in a minimalist style. You are likely to only give one great present [NOT] and decorate your house with a few special items [yup]. During the holidays, you feel magical. You love all of the decorations and how happy people are. You like to sit back and take it all in. You think the holidays should be decadent and indulgent. You never mind gaining a few holiday pounds... it's worth it! Your favorite holiday memories strongly evoke your senses. You are vividly aware of all the tastes, smells, and sounds of the holidays.

What Do the Holidays Mean to You?

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Yes, I'm a sucker for animals. If you live in Chicago, keep your eyes peeled for Tug. His owners miss him terribly.
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I knew we had coyotes in Chicago. I didn't know that otters are making a comeback. How otterly cool is that?

(I cross the Chicago River every day on my way to and from the office. I'll be keeping an eye out and my camera handy from now on!)
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Now here's a guy after my own heart. Wish there were a hell of a lot more like him in Congress.
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Here's more on that slimeball Drew Peterson. How come it took so long for this to make the news, anyway?

And, in keeping with Drew's strategy of tainting the entire potential jury pool by behaving so outrageously that you can't help by think he's guilty, here's two more cards in a well-played hand. Yee Gods.
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Drive-Bys

If you've ever loved an animal, this is a must see. Get out your hankies and watch the whole thing. And blame it on that darned Dooce for pointing me towards it.
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Quote of the Day:

"Most of the people here have jobs that are very well paid and they depend on the idea that carbon emissions cause global warming. They are not going to be very receptive to the idea that well actually the science has gone off in a different direction," Evans explained.

Somewhere out in the cosmos, Old Crankypants is having himself one whale of a laugh.
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Remember my prediction about Drew Peterson's outrageous behavior? The guy's still at it, and I must say he's got lovely, shiny, big brass cojones.... They'll never find an unprejudiced juror for this guy.
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Note to Livey -- I wore the suit you gave me to the company Xmas party. I'm still getting compliments on it. Many thanks!
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Speaking of great big ones...

Speed Bumps Ahead

Remember my wandering cell phone? Apparently it wasn't inadvertently hijacked by a friend. It's sprouted legs and walked. Hitched a ride elsewhere. Not even a wave bye-bye.

(Yes, I've been saying naughty, naughty words, as a result.)

I've had the same SIM card for years, and many of the numbers programmed in it were never entered into my personal address book, as well.

I'm begging here, folks. If I had your phone number before, please email me at Omnibus-dot-Driver-at-gmail-dot-com.

This stinks!

Rubber-Necking

While this makes me very sad, and I'm glad there was someone there prepared and willing to take on the shooter.

However... here's the $60,000 question: What the heck kind of church needs armed security guards during their worship services? Is it me, or is this more than a bit odd?
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Update: I guess this explains everything. Good for her. Good for them.

Drive-Bys

Now that's my idea of a great political cartoon! This, too.
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With Christmas right around the corner, it can be tempting to bring home a new puppy or kitten. If that's the case for you, please, please, please don't get one from a pet store. This is what you are supporting if you do. (Be sure and click on the video link, too. Heartbreaking stuff.)

What you can do instead?

Animal welfare activists urge families looking to acquire a pet to consider these steps:

— Make adoption your first choice. Visit your local shelter; if you have your heart set on a purebred dog, remember that an estimated 1 in 4 shelter dogs is purebred.

— Don’t buy your puppy from a pet store or the Internet. Many commercial retail dogs come from puppy mills through third-party brokers.

— Know how to recognize a responsible breeder. Good breeders care about their animals and will let you see their living spaces and records. They will ask you as many questions as you ask them.

— Lobby for better laws. Let your federal and state legislators know you’re concerned about the treatment of dogs in puppy mills. Ask your member of Congress to support expanding the Animal Welfare Act to include kennels that sell large numbers of puppies directly to the public.
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Drew Peterson complains like crazy about the media making him look bad. But I'm thinking he's doing a fine job of it all by himself.

(And I have a sneaking suspicion that he's crazy like a fox -- there's no way in hell he could ever find an impartial jury... and he knows it. In fact, it appears he's purposefully making sure of it.)

Psssssst!

If you've been trying to reach me by cell phone... my phone is hitchhiking across Chicago in a friend's handbag, due to mistaken identity. It has been gone since last Friday. Looks like I won't be getting it back until tomorrow.

Rats.

Tootin' the Horn

This photo (shamelessly snagged from here)...

... reminds me that I owe belated birthday greetings to this chickypoo:

The warm wishes may be late, but they're entirely heartfelt.

Oh, and look what I found her for a birthday gift. (Sweet, no?) And here's something else to make her chuckle.

Bus Fumes

If I make it through this holiday with my sense of humor intact, it'll be more miraculous than the virgin birth...

Bus Fumes

Sorry. When an embryo gets recognized as a "person" at conception and women who bear children for another are no longer "surrogate mothers" but "gestational carriers," there's something very, very wrong in the world.
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These fine people will apparently never be judged in a court of law. In the court of public opinion, however, is another matter. They've already been judged there, and found extremely wanting.

Drive-Bys

Ugh. I guess I should have ordered this a little sooner. I'm already to the point where I'm ready to throw a chair through a window and jump...
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Apparently, I'm not the only one who feels this way.