Leslie's Omnibus

Rubber-Necking

After my last eye-popping horoscope from the Lipstick Mystic via the RedEye, I was hoping for something a little tamer this week.

Nuh-uh. Didn't happen. Behold:
Leo
July 23-Aug

A moon opposition has you wondering where the hell your sexual mojo went. It hasn't disappeared permanently. It's just on vacation. In the meantime, don't attempt any online seduction or you'll end up sleeping with Craigslist's number one loser
Gee, thanks. And how come that 4-week license expired 3 weeks early?

P.S. -- If you're wondering what the Lipstick Mystic has in store for your week, drop me a comment and I'll post it for you.
Leslie

8 comments:

The Meezers said...

did it send a post card at least?

Nancy said...

well...heck!

(June 7) btw

Omnibus Driver said...

Aha! Here's what the Lipstick Mystic has in store for you this week:

Gemini
May 21-June 21

You're full of wacky ideas. You'll tell your partner that you want to turn her into a living hot fudge sundae, licking her from head to toe. Or you'll announce to your guy that you're turning him into your sexual slave. The moon says it just might work.

I'd pay good money to see the look on 'Pup's face if you tried!

Nancy said...

LOL.. me too!

hummmmmmmm

lol..word verification: intizes...

PJ said...

I love the new look, very sharp!

amarkonmywall said...

The new skin is so bright over here it might call for SPF 50! I'd kind of like to know my horoscope but Scorpio's are usually scary to begin with and if you've lost your sexual mojo, heaven only knows what's in store for me this week. That bear news report, btw, is very very funny. We have bears at the house in NC- I haven't been there enough to see them yet but the claw marks are all over the deck side tree each time we've been there.

Omnibus Driver said...

Can't disappoint you, Vicki! Here you go:

Scorpio
Oct. 24-Nov. 21
Water signs are great sexual tutors. You're gifted at steering a lover into the pleasure zone even if [he's] never visited there before. And you're tops at teaching [guys] what a [girl] really wants. Mars is encouraging you to keep up the teaching.

There ya go!

Anonymous said...

Nancy and I rock out the Gemini June 7th birthday! And might be a Texan soon - even have my sister here in AZ, thinking of a more sensible, capitalist loving ways. We just know that we'll need the best pest care ever. :)

Miss you,

Barrie