I haven't heard this song in a gazillion years and have no idea why on earth it has lodged itself in my cranium today...
Update: I take that back. It was the word "simonize" found here that's the culprit.
THE BILLBOARD SONG
Recorded by Homer and Jethro
Written by Cy Coben and Charles Grean
[G] As I was walking down the street a billboard caught my [D] eye
The advertisements written there would make you laugh and [G] cry
The signs were torn and scattered from the storm the night be-[C] fore
And as I read the [G] things they said, why, [D] this is what I [G] saw;
Smoke Coca-Cola cigarettes, drink Wrigley's Spearmint beer
Ken-L-Ration dog food keeps your wife's complexion clear
Chew chocolate covered mothballs, they always satisfy
Brush your teeth with Lifebouy Soap and watch the suds go by;
When I recovered from the shock I went upon my way
I'd gone no further than a block when there to my dismay
Another billboard caught my eye and like the one before
The wind and rain had done its work 'cause this is what I saw;
Oh, take your next vacation in a brand new Frigidaire
Learn to play pian-er in your winter underwear
And Simonize your baby with a Hershey candy bar
See the difference that Drain-o makes in all the movie stars;
Oh, doctors proved that babies shouldn't smoke til they are three
People over 35 take baths in Lipton's Tea
You wanna make this country a better place today
Just buy a record of this song and throw it "fur" away.
T - I - D - E; spells - TIDE!