Leslie's Omnibus


JihadGene says, "It's Friday! Let's Dance!"


Giggle of the Day:

funny pictures of cats with captions
more animals

A Meme of One's Own:

What three movies are always guaranteed to put a smile on your face, no matter how bad your
  1. Johnny Dangerously (for the creative cussing)
  2. Jumping Jack Flash (the scene with the shredder slays me every time)
  3. Short Circuit (Fisher Stevenson's wildly politically incorrect character is a classic)
What three authors write books guaranteed to make you giggle out loud at least once?
  1. The first three of Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series. (It gets a little spotty after that, but One through Three kill me every time.)
  2. John Ringo's Council Wars series. (I can't even talk about the bunny without ending up in fits of giggles.)
  3. Brendan O'Carroll's Agnes Brown series. (My hoots of laughter could be heard all the way to pool room at Rocko's.)
Three songs guaranteed to put a grin on your face?
  1. Redneck Girl (I'm dancing around in my chair already.)
  2. Timber, I'm Falling In Love
  3. Jose Cuervo (Karaoke time!)
How about you?

Speaking of karaoke:

You Are "Love Shack"

If you were transported back to the 80s, you would enjoy anything and everything underground.

You love the alternative aspects of 80s culture, and you're a bit disappointed that they've been forgotten over time.

You'd be goth, punk, new wave, or a rapper. Just not a yuppie, a preppy, or a jock!

You would relish living in a time where identifying with a subculture actually meant something.


Have a great weekend!

Okay, this made me giggle, too.

Speed Bumps Ahead - Part II

(For Part I, go here.)

So, the Redhead Piano Bar.

I've now paid for the cab and the coat check. There are no seats available at the bar or at the piano. We get a pub table in the back. (Yuck. I know and like all the bartenders and musicians, and would much rather be up front.)

"So what's with all the secrecy and urgency, Mr. X?"

I'm thinking I'm going to hear the next sad tale about the same old star-crossed relationship.


"Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?"


"Or how intelligent and wonderful you are?"

Eeeew! No, no, no!

He leaned in close, smiling, with one eyebrow cocked.

"Um, Mr. X? We're friends. Just friends. Let's be clear on that, okay?"

He leaned in even closer, and his grin broadened. Unperturbed (or thoroughly sauced) (or both), he said, "I really want to be married soon. I'm ready. I think you and I could have an incredible journey together. Do you agree?"

Crap, crap, crap, crappity crap.

"I need a cigarette. I'll be back in a couple of minutes," I said as I flew out of my seat and made a beeline for the back door, leaving a flummoxed Mr. X in my wake.

I stood in the back patio area and puffed furiously on my cigarette, leaving a one inch hotbox at the tip in about 30 seconds flat. Then I rapidly paced back and forth and did a bunch of mental head slaps, trying to clear my thoughts.

It didn't help.

I ruthlessly crushed out the butt, squared my shoulders, took a deep breath and headed back into the fray.

The very model of chivalry, Mr. X held out my chair and helped me back into my seat.

"So," he said, sucking up all my personal space and grinning ear to ear.

"So I want to be clear that I'm not interested in dating anyone at this time. It's nothing personal. George Clooney could ask and I'd turn him down. We're friends, Mr. X. that's all."

He smiled beatifically and raised his hand. "Can I say something?"

"Sure. And you don't need to raise your hand to ask. Just spit it out."

Raised hand. "Can I say something?"

"Like I said, just speak your piece."

Raised hand. "Can I say something?"



"No. Either say what you want or quit asking my permission, because I won't give it. This is not 'Mother May I?'"

Raised hand. "Can I say something?"

Bloody hell!


"Can I kiss you?"

Kill me now.


Raised hand. "Can I say something?"

"No. Change the subject."

"Can I kiss you?"

Somewhere, somehow, Bill Murray is laughing his ass off at me.

"No. Friends, Mr. X -- remember?"

Raised hand. "Can I say something?"

"No! I'll be right back. I really need a cigarette," I blurted as I zipped past him and headed back to the safe haven of the smoking patio.

I puffed, paced and waved my fist at the imps of fate who were having such a good time at my expense.

There was no escaping it. I had to go back.

"Can I kiss you?"

"No, and quit asking."

Raised hand. "Can I say something?"

Sweet Mother Mary!

"NO." I slugged down a big swig of wine.

"Can I kiss you?"

"NO. Quit asking. I hate that. Look, if you really want to kiss someone, you don't mess around with all this asking permission nonsense. You do this," and I grabbed his face in both my hands and pasted a big kiss on him, then sat back, crossed my arms and glared at him.

Horror and fascination flashed across his face. Clearly I wasn't playing from his rule book.

"Why did you do that? Why did you DO that?"

"Do what?"

Raised hand. "Can I say something?"


On that happy note, I picked up my coat from the coat room and ran through the front door to grab the nearest cab.

I'll pay that tab the next time I go there. Those folks know I'm good for it.

Bloody hell.

Speed Bumps Ahead - Part I

It is undisputed that at this point in my life I despise dating and anything that leads to it... which makes last night's adventure truly a study in sadomasochism.

I stopped in one of my after work joints for a glass of wine or two and a bit of a read. I joked with my bartending friends. Checked my email. It was supposed to be a low-key evening.

And I was going to catch an early train home.

By myself, thank you very much.

Then he showed up.

Mr. X is smooth, a professional (professional what I still am not sure), a snappy dresser who schmoozes the serving staff and chats up a bunch of lawyers and politicos who hang at the bar. They joke, banter, opine, pontificate, argue -- typical guy posturing.

When Mr. X speaks to ladies, however, he ratchets up the "urbane" and pours on the charm. Think Samuel L. Jackson or Billy Dee Williams.

What he doesn't do with the ladies, though, is to ask them out. Somehow that whole process bumfuzzles the hell out of him and, if I dislike the process, he is totally, gutlessly unhinged by it (normally, anyway).

How do I know this (and why did I add that qualifier)?

Well, I've had my ear bent by him a time or two or three or four about a lady in whom he was interested, but he couldn't seem to bring himself to pull the trigger on asking her out. Suave old Mr. X has tossed out every excuse in the book why it was impossible to do so, most of which had to do with the fact that he was being a big old weenie. (A big old weenie in a bespoke suit, a jazzy necktie, a pinkie ring and Cole Haan shoes, mind you -- but a big old weenie, indeed.)

The guy who effortlessly swims with the sharks turns into a puddle of mush when it comes to the fairer sex.

Even sadder, the woman had made it obvious to servers and other patrons that she very much wanted Mr. X to ask her.

More then once I've bluntly told him to quit dicking around (yes, those words) and ask the poor woman out -- but to have a plan and a date in mind before he even opened his mouth.

"Oh, no! I couldn't do that," he whined.

"Why not?"

"Well, she might say no."

"Well, she might say yes, too."

Honestly, I don't know which answer would have scared him more.

Anyway, lather, rinse and repeat that conversation on at least four occasions. Ugh.

He's a nice guy, but lacks a backbone. I have a hard time respecting that.

Which brings me to last night.

There I am, drinking my wine and buried nose-deep in my book. Mr. X waits until all his usual coterie of companions have headed out the door, and he comes to visit me.

"I really need to talk to you."

"Fine, let's talk."

"Not here. Too many people getting all in my business, you know. Do you want to go to the Redhead?"

"No. I want to go home. I'm tired."

"But I really, really, really need to talk to you. Are you sure you won't go to the Redhead with me?"

Sirens were going off in my head and I was feeling pretty cranky, but he was also pressing all my guilt buttons. I know -- I was absolutely out of my mind.

So I'm already tired and out-of-sorts, and then he drops the next little bomb:

"By the way, could I borrow a little cash from you? I can pay you back on Friday"

This guy makes more money in a week than I make all month and he wants to borrow money from me??? Not cool, sports fans. Not cool.

"Um, how much do you have in mind?"

"I'm thinking maybe $100?"

I'm thinking you're pretty presumptuous, pal.

"How about $40?"


"$50 and no more."


Okay. I don't really want to go out. I want to go home. Now I'm not only going out, but I'm also funding the trip. Argh!

*Part II to follow*


Sorry for the lack of posting yesterday -- busy day and an evening meet-up with a very cool lady to talk about my retirement (some 15 years hence) and how I plan to get there with enough moo-la-la to actually enjoy it.

I actually enjoyed our discussion, even though talk of money usually gives me the gollywobbles. Yeesh. I might actually be growing up.

(Perish the thought.)

Anywhooo, after the money talk was over, I asked if she was still creating beautiful modern jewelry from vintage bits and bobs. Turns out she certainly is. Stop by and visit L'amie D'Amie. (And don't even think about ordering that green flower necklace. It's mine. All mine.)

I heart Bobby Jindal. Darling Daddy would have, too.

The Tea Party is coming to Chicago this Friday. I may just have to stroll down there with camera in hand.

I find Facebook pretty off-putting, but I find the second part of this op-ed column absolutely mind-boggling:
"It is common for a woman who has no other body art to get a genital piercing," said Elayne Angel, a piercing pioneer who has performed the procedure 40,000 times. "I get a lot of empty-nesters, retirees, soccer moms, sorority gals."

"Retirees?" I whispered.

"Certainly," she answered. "I have pierced quite a few in the category of older women. They're celebrating a renewal of their sexuality."
Sweet heavenly Lord, is this what I have to look forward to? I don't know about you, but I can think of a lot more fun ways to celebrate that renewal when the time comes!

Just for Elisson, Lollyphile!

Braised Venison with Bacon, Chestnuts and Wild Mushrooms in Rich Madeira Sauce?

Quail with Bacon and Honey?

Hmmmmm.... Makes me immediately think of this happy couple.

Giggle of the Day:

I love Paula Deen!

Ear Worm of the Day:


Bus Fumes

Ack! So many things to drive a poor bus driver crazy these days:

Number 1 with a bullet, is this guy:
"I undertand the way I handled her was inappropriate," Madison said, tearing up. "No one feels worse than I do." During his trial, Madison had maintained that Sophie was hurt by accident while he was roughhousing with the dog and then fell on her. "I undertand the way I handled her was inappropriate," Madison said, tearing up. "No one feels worse than I do." During his trial, Madison had maintained that Sophie was hurt by accident while he was roughhousing with the dog and then fell on her.
I vote we beat him and choke him with poor Sophie's leash, put out one of his eyes and see how he likes it. Fucker got off WAY too easy.

Fiscal responsibility. Let's talk about it:
"President Obama has called for both parties to get serious about fiscal responsibility,'' says House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio), attending Obama's
summit today.

Hokey dokey. When Obama starts showing that he can be fiscally responsible with our money, I'll start taking him seriously.

He's not in office two weeks before he gets tired of the White House and takes not one, but two trips to Chicago. And how much do you suppose those little jaunts cost you and I?
Using these very conservative figures, Air Force One cost $214,768 and the cargo plane cost $32,140. For a grand total of $246,908 for Mr. Obama’s two round trips.
That's not including the helicopter (and the way he's going, I'm surprised he's not plumping for a new one). Or the cost to Chicago's police force to shut down Lake Shore Drive so that he could get home uninterrupted.

[Update: My friend Brian reminds me that they never fly just one AF1, but always fly two. Take that $214,768 and double it, folks.]

I can't remember a President who's spent less time in the Oval office in less than his first 100 days.

But he means well. After all, he's just pledged to add $15 billion more to Medicaid because it's the fiscally responsible thing to do.

After all, it's stimulus money.
"We cannot and will not sustain deficits like these without end. ... We cannot
simply spend as we please and defer the consequences," the president said
Maybe we can't, but obviously he can.
By Obama's own account, the new law will add to this fiscal year's deficit,
which the administration projects will be $1.5 trillion.


I'm thinking he's got a super-sized magic money machine tucked into a drawer in his credenza in the Oval Office.

In other encouraging news, Freddie Mac is investigating itself. With both hands and a tube of Astroglide, I'm sure.


Want to know just what's in Obama's stimulus package? Patton Boggs takes the mystery out of it.

Then when you're done, go read William Jacobson:

For the first time in my adult life, I am convinced that we have a President who sees capitalism and markets as the enemy. There is no other explanation for the hyperbolic rhetoric Obama has used to create a sense of economic crisis far in excess of reality. We are in a recession, but as others have documented extensively, to compare the current economy to the Great Depression is damaging.

Obama seems to be wishing so hard for a depression, he might actually get it. Obama is well along in the process of creating a self-fulfilling prophecy in which he so talks down the economy, and so shakes markets, that people are paralyzed with fear allowing Obama to push his political agenda of creating a command economy. Count me among the fearful. It's hunker-down and cut-back time not because I've lost a job, but because of the decline in markets.

The economy and the markets are intertwined, which is something Obama doesn't seem to get. As people see their investment and retirement accounts drop, they adjust their economic activity to compensate. Multiply that effect by tens of millions of investors, and you can turn a recession into a depression.

Yet Obama has done nothing to ease the pressures on markets. In the trillion dollars of spending and "middle class" tax cuts, there is nothing for investors. Nothing. We will spend more on Harry Reid's magnetic railroad to nowhere than we will spend to reassure markets.
Sticks in your craw, doesn't it?

Get your own fiscal reality banner here.

Speaking of the President, he may be good at spending your and my money, but he's certainly not in any hurry to pay his own bills.

And the Prez's old group ACORN, look what they're up to these days. Feh.

Loose lips sink ships. Remember that, 'mkay?

Are parents really not talking to their kids these days? This is scary, scary stuff!

Everything I don't get/like about Twitter is contained here.

funny pictures of cats with captions
more animals

I've been there myself more than once.

I'm going to the Dog Show on Sunday! If you've never been to the IKC show in Chicago, you're really missing a wonderful thing.

Roland just keeps opening his mouth long enough to switch feet. If he truly has done nothing wrong, I almost feel sorry for the guy. The hole he's been digging himself into just keeps getting deeper.

JihadGene says, "It's Friday! Let's Dance!"

I'm in the mood for a little reggae:


Happy Friday!

Who knew V-Man threw his own party at Fashion Week in NYC? Given his predilection for unusual attire, this doesn't surprise me.


Taste the rainbow. Yummy!

This is not the way to win friends and influence people... especially not the guy sitting on the bench.


Methinks the lady hath a screw loose.

Got a few bucks to spare for a good cause? Look for something like this in your own neck of the woods and donate, would you?

That's one cause that's near and dear to my heart.

Here's one law I bet all my NRA buddies never thought they'd see get this far in the Great State of Illinois: House Bill 245.

Keep your fingers crossed, boys and girls!

Found this Personal DNA test via templestark:

about you: You are a Leader

  • Your solid grounding in the practicalities of life, along with your self-assuredness and your willingness to appreciate new things make you a LEADER.

  • You're in touch with what is going on around you and adept at remaining down-to-earth and logical.

  • Although you're detail-oriented, this doesn't mean that you lose the big picture.

  • You tend to find beauty in form and efficiency, as opposed to finding it in broad-based, abstract concepts.

  • Never one to pass on an adventure, you're consistently seeking and finding new things, even in your immediate surroundings.

  • Because of this eagerness to pursue new experiences, you've learned a lot; your attention to detail means that you gain a great deal from your adventures.

  • The intellectual curiosity that drives you leads you to seek out causes of and reasons behind things.

  • Your confidence gives you the potential to take your general awareness and channel it into leadership.

  • You're not set on one way of doing things, and you often have the skills and persistence to find innovative ways of facing challenges.

  • You are well-attuned to your talents, and can deal with most problems that you face.

  • You're not afraid to let your emotions guide you, and you're generally considerate of others' feelings as well.

  • You tend to do things on the spur of the moment, not sticking to a set schedule.

  • Generally, you believe that you control your life, and that external forces only play a limited role in determining what happens to you.

  • If you want to be different:

  • There's more to life than the practical - take some time to daydream and explore the aesthetic sides of things.

  • how you relate to others: You are Encouraging

  • Your outgoing nature, understanding of others, and directness make you ENCOURAGING.

  • You want others to do well for themselves, and you generally believe in their abilities.

  • You often know what's good for people because of your caring nature and your worldview.

  • When you care about someone, you don't keep it to yourself: you are good at letting people know that you're thinking of them.

  • Because you trust people, you take violations of that trust very seriously.

  • You thrive in social situations, and even though you know who you like and who you don't like, you can interact well with many different types of people.

  • You have a healthy respect for people who have earned what they have, and you strive to be similar to successful others.

  • You are a loyal friend and a good listener.

  • If you want to be different:

  • Sometimes, in the course of being encouraging, you can be a bit judgmental—this can make it more difficult for others to follow your advice.

  • While you are an expert at getting the most out of the world and taking advantage of many experiences, you might gain some insight by taking the time to be alone, reflect on things, or just observe the goings-on in the world.

  • _____

    Giggle of the Day:

    funny pictures of cats with captions
    more animals

    Once again, CharlieDelta's spiritual cat.

    Bus Fumes

    Why is it that when I hear the name "Roland" I hear this:

    Yup. The news keeps Roland, Roland, Roland along.

    He's got nothing to hide... but he's not taking any more questions from the press, either.


    He may not be guilty, but he sure isn't acting innocent.

    Want to know who's got their hands out for stimulus money? Go here.

    Speaking of the stimulus package, seems traders in Chicago have some strong feelings about it.

    Religion of peace. Sure.

    Bus Fumes

    You've probably seen all the to-do about Roland Burris and whether or not he perjured himself when giving testimony in the Blagoviator's impeachment trial.

    Everyone else wants to know why it took three affidavits, all filed very quietly and after the impeachment trial was long over, to get his story straight.

    That's not what I want to know.

    I want to know why on day one of his testimony at the impeachment trial he didn't give an opening statement saying something like,
    "Ladies and gentlemen, before you begin your questions, I'd like to make an opening statement. For the record, I was contacted numerous times after Mr. Blagoviator's indictment and prior to this action by a number of people on Mr. Blagoviator's staff regarding my interest in becoming the next junior senator of the great state of Illinois. Those people are X, X, X and X. During at least one of these conversations, Mr. Blagoviator's brother requested a campaign donation in the amount of $10,000.

    "Ladies and gentlemen, I said no to his request in no uncertain terms.

    "Furthermore, ladies and gentlemen, much as I wanted the position of junior senator from the Great State of Illinois, I immediately hauled ass down to the federal prosecutor's office and revealed the date, time and specifics of said conversation.

    "Ladies and gentlemen, having cooperated fully with the federal prosecutor, I figured I had completed my duty to both the great state of Illinois and the United States of America, and I still really, really, really wanted to become the next junior senator from the great state of Illinois, so when the Blagoviator offered the appointment, I accepted with a clear conscience (and not a little bit of glee) and made an immediate appointment with the stone mason to carve the new title into my crypt.

    "Now, you have questions for me?"
    Nothing less is acceptable, and it's horse hockey to say that he didn't have time to answer any or all of the questions put to him fully. It's moose puckey to drag your attorney to a press conference and consult with him before you answer questions rightfully asked.

    You are a disgrace, Mr. Burris. Shame.

    Drive Bys

    Off the Grid Aliases, snagged gleefuly from Joanie:

    1. YOUR REAL NAME: Omnibus Driver

    2. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME (mother and fathers middle name): Jones Junior

    3. NASCAR NAME (first name of your mother’s dad, father’s dad): Everett Gust

    4. STAR WARS NAME (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name): Driom

    5. DETECTIVE NAME (favorite color, favorite animal): Green Frenchie (flip those around and that might just work)

    6. SOAP OPERA NAME (middle name, town where you were born): Meredith Belmont

    7. SUPERHERO NAME (2nd fav color, fav drink, add “THE” to the beginning): The Purple Pinot

    8. FLY NAME (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name): Omer

    9. STREET NAME (fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie): Bubblegum Crisp

    10. PORN NAME (1st pet’s name, street you grew up on): Mr. Fletcher Delores (and Mr. Fletcher turned out to be a female, so I guess it’s a hermaphrodite porn star name)

    11. YOUR GANGSTA NAME (first 3 letters of last name plus izzle): Driizzle

    13. YOUR IRAQI NAME (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, first two letters of your middle name, last two letters of your first name then last three letters of your last name): Mimeusver

    14. YOUR GOTH NAME (black, and the name of one of your pets): Black Tepanga

    15. STRIPPER NAME (name of your favorite perfume/cologne, favorite candy): Angel Godiva


    At last, the perfect cocktail for my favorite pirate!

    Giggle of the Day
    (in honor of Therapy Night):

    funny pictures of cats with captions
    more animals


    Headline of the Day:
    Cross-Dressing Kingpin Arrested
    That's just so wrong...

    JihadGene says, "It's Friday! Let's Dance!":

    You've got to love a woman who loves to dance and share her joy in doing so!

    (A tip of the cap to the Super Fantastic Francesca.)

    That stupid Forbes study? Neil Steinberg responds for all Chicagoans:
    What the Forbes study overlooks is that Chicago is not populated by Manhattan scribes nor Boulder mountain climbers, but Chicagoans. We are a hearty tribe, made of stronger stuff, and delight in challenges that only seem miserable to those who don't know any better. Calling our city miserable is like an agoraphobic calling baseball awful because it takes place outside. It says a lot more about the complainer than the thing being complained about. We love it here, and pity those whose appreciation of life is so constricted that they fail to see why.
    Yes, indeedy.

    Bus Fumes

    Rep. John Boehner says it all for me:

    Guess that goes to show what our Congressional representatives think of their constituents. I don't know about you, but I won't forget this, and you can be damned sure I'll take it to the voting booth in 2010.

    I sure would like to know who those seven Democrats were who voted against the package, as I'd love to send them a note congratulating them for common sense and moral fiber.

    It's discouraging beyond belief, and highly telling, that lobbyists had the document before the leadership did.

    And what are economists saying?

    Another reason that some analysts frown on the stimulus is the social spending it includes on things such as the Head Start program for disadvantaged children and aid to NASA for climate-change research. Both may be worthy efforts, but they aren't aimed at delivering short-term boosts to economic activity.

    "All this is 25 years of government expansion jammed into one bill and sold as stimulus," said Brian Riedl, the director of budget analysis for the Heritage Foundation, a conservative policy research group.

    " . . . Serious observers believe that recovery cannot begin until we acknowledge that losses in the financial system amount to some trillions of dollars, rendering many institutions insolvent. The temptation will be to muddle along, hoping that these institutions can gradually regain strength without putting massive amounts of taxpayers' money at risk. If we go down that road, we are likely to end up with zombie banks whose balance sheets are riddled with near-worthless investments — banks that cannot lend to credit-worthy customers and who cannot trust one another," Galston wrote.
    Too right.

    P.S. -- I'm not the only one who notes and heartily dislikes the condescending tone.

    P.P.S. -- Remember who we'll be borrowing the lion's share of that money from, too. That'll make you rest easier at night.

    A few more quotes:

    So there you have it: Obama and the Democrats, by ramming the 'stimulus' bill through on a party-line basis and bulldozing Republican opposition, have taken ownership of old-time Big Government liberalism; they have surrendered to Republicans the very issues that divided the GOP and attracted moderate swing
    voters to the Democratic banner; they have energized and galvanized their opponents; they have discarded the pretense of bipartisanship; and they have, in the end, lashed themselves to the mast of policies that are proven not to work. The only thing the stimulus bill will stimulate is conservatism.


    How many ideas that might have taken off are we going to miss, and how many therapies that could have worked out, if the money had held out a bit longer? The Citis and Caterpillers of the world are getting the headlines with their massive layoffs, understandably. But there are a lot of outfits that you've never heard of that are in the process of losing everything. Money wouldn't have saved La Jolla armaceutical's drug for lupus - the science just wasn't there, in the end. But lack of money could keep the next drug from even being found. And...

    In fact, the bottom line is that, historically, the problems that technology has
    addressed have gotten solved, and the ones that were dependent on politics and
    so forth have not.
    J. Storrs Hall

    Holiday Schedule

    Four quick Valentine Blogthings:

    Your Valentine's Day Personality is Practical

    As far as you're concerned, Valentine's Day is simply a commercial holiday.

    You don't place any real meaning on it. You don't think it deserves too much celebration.

    For you, Valentine's Day is just the day you avoid restaurants and candy stores.

    If you love someone, you already show it. You don't need to go all out for a silly holiday to prove your love.


    Your Candy Heart Says "Get Real"

    You're a bit of a cynic when it comes to love.

    You don't lose your head, and hardly anyone penetrates your heart.

    Your ideal Valentine's Day date: is all about the person you're seeing (with no mentions of v-day!)

    Your flirting style: honest and even slightly sarcastic

    What turns you off: romantic expectations and "greeting card" holidays

    Why you're hot: you don't just play hard to get - you are hard to get


    You Are a Candy Heart

    You're definitely a pro when it comes to romance - and you have great dating etiquette.

    Plus you probably smell and taste pretty darn good.


    You Are Coffee

    The sexiest thing about you is your enthusiasm and stamina.

    You always say "yes" to your lover and are hard to tire out.

    Because of your high energy level, you are best in small doses. Too much of you is too much of a good thing.

    You may not get tired, but you're likely to wear your partner down.


    And here's a little Valentine from me to you:


    Chartered Excursion -- Killarney?

    Much as Dublin was tempting, I think I want a little more "authentic" Ireland. So Killarney is looking pretty good.

    Since I'm not the selfish sort, I'm targeting the third week of April. If there's anyone out there that's interested in tagging along, let me know.

    Or, if you know of any Irish bloggers in the Killarney area, let me know.

    I push the "purchase" button on Monday. Details to follow.

    Update: And by "tagging along," I mean that I think people should see what they want to see by day, and agree on which pub they'll meet up at by night. I'm an easy-going traveler.

    Watching the Signs Along the Way

    Cook County, which has the highest tax rate in the country, is spending our tax dollars wisely. That oughta make Stroger's base happy.

    If you're driving in to Chicago for a visit, you may want to change your mind and take public transportation instead. Metered parking is getting frightfully expensive these days. And you don't even want to think about what garage parking will set you back!

    Bus Fumes

    You know, I was really hoping I was wrong and that Obama would be a great leader and act in such a way as to bring the congressional leadership and its constituency to consensus more often than not.

    I was hoping he would see his election as more of a responsibility than a mandate.

    I've bitten my tongue and said nothing, waiting to see what would happen. Hoping for the best.

    Others may say it more eloquently than I, but it has become clear to me that The Emperor is Wearing No Clothes. Buck naked, dudes and dudettes.

    Apparently the European financial community has finally peeled the blinders off, as well.

    And then there's good ol' Judd Gregg, who finally saw the light.

    You want a stimulous plan? Then how about the Mark Cuban Plan? That's one I can back.

    Otherwise, you get asshats like this who don't understand that this isn't a kosher way to spend those government dollars. And if they didn't need the cash influx, they certainly shouldn't have taken it.


    Kevin? Forgive me, but if I hear "I," "me" or "my" one more time in one of his press conferences, I will puke. If I turned it into a drinking game, I'd have been on my ass within the first fifteen minutes.

    You know I'm always about the bottom line. I've only got one. Your buddy Obama? He's got more than I can count, and that's just in his first press conference.


    The Giggle of the Day...

    funny pictures of dogs with captions
    see more puppies

    ... led to the Ear Worm of the Day:


    Heart attack on a plate -- it's what's for breakfast. Just add a side of bacon. You can never have too much.

    I love beautiful things, and I especially love giving hand-crafted gifts. I stumbled across two new (to me) sources of gorgeous stuff:

    Try Handmade
    shows not just jewelry and soft goods, but some really cool stuff like this Great Bowl O' Fire. Wouldn't that look great on your back deck?

    And with Valentine's Day coming, you've simply got to check out Art Fire. They have everything from pretty and inexpensive to some pretty luxe stuff... like this, for example. Scrumptious.

    It's a good thing I haven't taken the new television home yet (yes, I finally broke down and bought one. Now I just need to haul it home from the office) -- I'd have put my foot right through it in the last couple of days.

    I hate smug, self-righteous asshats... and there are a ton of 'em in the news these days.

    Speaking of which... Blago vents his spleen to the media and Drew Peterson has to have his retaliatory time in the spotlight.

    Tainting the jury pool, one tasteless act after another.

    See? I told you so! That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

    Blogthings of the Day:

    You Are FAQ

    For you, the internet is like your personal library. And you know more facts than fifty normal humans.

    Your brain is basically lot a computer at this point. You have a lot of information stored up there.

    You spend hours looking up obscure information and learning things. If you have question, you always Google it.

    You can't help but be a bit of a know-it-all. You can answer everyone's frequently asked questions.

    You Are a Field Goal

    You work extremely well under pressure. In fact, pressure makes you do better.

    When everyone is counting on you, you can be depended on best. You are very levelheaded.

    It's likely that people rely on you to get them out of sticky situations. You are often a last resort.

    And you're happy to rise to the occasion. You love being the hero.


    Once again the folks at Amazon.com and George R.R. Martin toy with my emotions. Since I see nothing in George's Livejournal stating that the book will be out in September, I'll believe it when I see it. But, cripes! I've been waiting such a long time.


    Yes, I'm back... and I had no idea just how much snot the human body can (and continues to) produce. If this is true...
    The average human body produces about a liter of mucus per day.
    ... then I've passed average by about 10:00 a.m. every day for the past six days. Swell.

    I swear I have a crew of sinus gremlins working 'round the clock, stoking up the boiler in the ol' factory. (Heh.)

    Anyhow... I'm ready for this to stop. Truly. Just ugh.

    Erica's post on the Oak Ridge Boys got the old country music ear worm juke box spinning up platters in my brain. Men/four part harmony/country music brings to mind:

    Gotta love it.

    Quote of the Day:
    She has not been charged with any crime.
    Dear Sweet Heavenly Father, I should hope not.

    (And if that story doesn't stand your hair on end, nothing will.)

    Speaking of things that'll stand your hair on end....

    Yep. That did it for me. Where do I sign up to donate to the poor guy's defense fund?

    Giggle of the Day:

    funny pictures of cats with captions
    more animals



    I've got a ferocious cold, so posting is light today. I'm outta here as soon as this is finished.

    Ear Worm of the Day:

    Since I've still got disco fever...


    Giggle of the Day:

    funny pictures of dogs with captions
    see more puppies

    (God bless Sunny Lucas!)

    Daily BlogThings:

    You Are Skeptical and Smart

    You are optimistic, friendly, and cheerful. People appreciate the hopefulness and good vibes you bring to any situation.

    You are a natural communicator and facilitator of harmony. You value peace above everything else.

    You're easy going and easy to be around. You aren't picky or high maintenance.

    You seek solutions in your life. You are on a constant quest to improve yourself.


    You Were a Creative Kid

    When you were a kid, you always had to be doing something with your hands.

    Whether you were painting a picture or just doodling, you had to be creating something.

    You were too busy thinking about your future creations to listen in school.

    It's likely that every part of school was a challenge for you, except for art class.


    You Are a Whiteboard

    You are a dreamer, a visionary, and a straight up idea person. You are very creative.

    Even if the things you think up are a bit wacky, they often are brilliant.

    You are an adept problem solver. You are always tossing around dozens of ideas.

    You would make a good artist, designer, or architect. You do best when work feels like play.


    I'm outta here before my sinuses explode...

    Update: Sick as I am, I couldn't resist this poll.

    Down Memory Lane

    It's funny how a snippet of conversation or a bit of something you've read can touch off a flood of memories. Mamacita managed to do this today with her riff on how much she hates ironing.

    It opened the floodgates on how much the Princess Mom also hated that dreaded task. (Okay, the Princess Mom didn't like anything that caused discomfort on any level.) Anyhow, it reminded me of a time in my childhood when she found the ultimate weapon against slaving for hours over an ironing board -- the day she found an Ironrite Mangle at a garage sale.

    I don't think she paid more than about ten dollars for that big green behemouth, but she had to convince Darling Daddy that it was worth the time and efffort to scare up a couple of neighborhood manly-men to stuff it into the "way back" of the family station wagon, haul it home, and cart it down a narrow staircase to our basement. I think it probably cost a case of beer in addition to her initial ten dollar outlay,

    From the day it arrived, that sucker got a daily workout. The Princess Mom mangled cloth diapers, underwear, tableclothes, handkerchiefs, shirts, blouses, dresses, dungarees, curtains, sheets, pillow cases, cowboy suits, even socks -- if you could run it through a roller, she starched the bejeepers out of it.

    She didn't shed a tear when we made the move from Cleveland to Chicago... except when the decision was made by Darling Daddy that hauling the dreaded contraption down to the basement was bad enough -- he wasn't paying to have it hauled back up.

    Whoever is living at 6087 Delores Boulevard in Brook Park, Ohio may still have the big green behemouth in the basement. If they do, I hope it's still working. Of all the "mod cons" that came out in the '50s and '60s, that's the only one I can recall that really did make life easier.


    Ear Worm of the Day:

    Here's a little blast from my disco days past:

    Which also brings to mind...

    It's a wonder the Princess Mom and Darling Daddy let me out of the house even once back in the '7os.

    Update: MacKenzie is apparently on my disco wavelength.

    I may just have to mosey on up to Zion this summer...

    I got a sweet email from reader Cassandra, who's started her own blog. If you're into yoga and wellness stuff, go give her a read.

    Personally, I love diet and exercise. I could watch other people do it for hours...

    (And Cassandra, welcome to the blogosphere! Nice work so far.)

    Quote of the Day:

    Love is complicated, intense, enduring, but it's also a fickle bitch. Love gets bored and gets tired. Sometimes love wants to lie on the couch for months, eating popcorn and watching 90210 reruns. Love is lazy. Love wants to be entertained but doesn't want to do any work itself. Which is why relationships are so hard -- in order to get, you have to give, and that requires love to get off its lazy butt and participate, even when work and kids and bills clamor for attention.
    Can I get an Amen?

    A voice of reason in the muslim world?

    For my juvenile friends... loads of snickers and sniggers here. (Go ahead and giggle. You know you want to.)

    Sometimes I really, really love Whoopi Goldberg. Saw this live yesterday, when I was giving platelets. Yep. I felt the love.

    Now here's a guy I'd like to meet:

    I was chasing the prom queens and bathing beauties of the world. I set my sights so high, then I'd get disappointed and my self-esteem would take a hit. My negative feelings about myself would get reinforced, and the cycle would continue. I realized while I was still in high school that I was on a merry-go-round.

    Even though I saw some of my destructive patterns, I didn't really get off the carousel until after I got divorced. The light really came on when I met woman after woman who was fun to be with, yet probably went through the same things that I did back in the day. Some were tall, some were short, some skinny, some fat -- they were all fun. I never lowered my standards and continued to chase those I wanted. I just started fishing in a bigger pond.

    (And it's nice to see Cheryl Lavin's column again. The Trib's loss is the Sun Times' gain!)

    Giggle of the Day:

    funny pictures of cats with captions
    more animals

    A couple of Blogthings, because you can never have too many:

    You Are in the Genital Stage of Development

    According to Dr. Freud, you've reached the genital stage of development.

    Whatever issues you may have had in your childhood have been resolved.

    You don't have any hang ups, and you are able to function as a stable adult.

    You are the model of being well-adjusted, and you are able to balance your life beautifully.


    You Are Very Warm

    You are kind, caring, and empathetic. A lot of warm energy radiates from you.

    And it's not an act - you truly like people. You get a charge from people being around you.

    You are are easy going and very socially adaptable. You're willing to overlook peoples'quirks.

    You enjoy meeting people from all walks of life and helping them if you can. Giving makes you feel good.

    You Are "enter"

    Some people might try to say you're impulsive and rash.

    You like to consider yourself decisive and committed instead.

    You don't have a lot of trouble making very final decisions.

    You trust your instincts, and you don't waver. You just go for it!

    There ya go.

    Holy crap! And to think my Joisey Boy is afeared of a little bitty gator or two....

    This is a surprise???

    Some have speculated that Barack Obama would have to go to war with Nancy Pelosi if he really wanted to push for bipartisanship on Capitol Hill. The stimulus package was the first and most critical piece of Obama’s domestic agenda, and Pelosi not only blocked Republicans from negotiating its terms, she filled it with non-stimulus spending that turned it into an omnibus appropriation bill, full of objectionable projects and embarrassing components, like contraceptive spending.


    Giggle of the Day II:

    Yes, firing a rifle after cross-country skiing a few kilometers is tough, but what happens when you have to do compulsory figures first, and fire while you’re in mid-air? All we can say is that it makes being in the audience a lot more interesting.

    Sorry, but Mark cracks me up on a regular basis!


    Former Illinois Gov. Rod R. Blagojevich said on the "Today" show Tuesday he rejected a deal with senators to keep his job as governor, choosing instead to join the humble ranks of America's unemployed.

    "I rejected an offer by leading senators to keep my job for two years and essentially be a ghost payroller," he said.
    I don't believe it for a minute, and neither should you. Where's his proof?

    Richard Roeper catches up with my train of thought...
    Every time I think Peterson's the king of PR blunders, Blago makes a move. Every time Blago seems to have the upper hand, Peterson makes a move.
    But then he leaves me laughing in the dust here:
    Next thing you know these two will be partnering up and trying to get a slot on "The Amazing Race."
    I'd almost pay good money to see that.

    Speaking of the Blagoviator, seems he'll be on Letterman tonight. To all you folks in the other 49 states, you're welcome to him. Take our ex-gov... PLEASE.

    (And thanks for the pointer, Beth! I'll be laughing for weeks.)

    Aggggggggggggh!!! What am I going to do for decorating tips now??? I love that magazine and will miss it a lot.

    I really do hope they catch the asshole who defaced the Bean. What the hell is wrong with people, anyway???

    Ear Worm of the Day:


    Giggle of the Day:

    funny pictures of cats with captions
    more animals

    You Are Puzzled Over

    You are quirky, complicated, and brilliant. You tend to feel a bit misunderstood by everyone, and that troubles you.

    It's likely that you will have four or more children... whether you use birth control or not!

    You are easily effected by the world around you. You are emotional and even a bit moody.

    You are very detail oriented and tidy. Some may even call you obsessive.

    You are quite conservative. You are neither a flirter or a flaunter.


    You Are Chocolate

    When you're stressed out, you crave intense pleasure.

    And you're willing to skip a proper meal and proceed directly to the food you like best.

    You find solace in hedonism and luxury. You tend to turn your nose up at most traditional comfort foods.

    Somewhat surprisingly, trying a new food (especially a new type of chocolate) can be the most comforting thing for you.

    Now that's more like it.


    You know my frequently-stated theory about Drew Peterson and his strategy to poison the pool of potential jurors should Stacy's body ever turn up? Well how about this:
    But [Christina Raines, Drew Peterson's so-called fiance] told CBS’ “The Early Show” that their engagement was “more like a stunt,” dreamed up by Peterson “so he could be in the media.”

    “Well, he had told me that his lawyer had wanted him to be in the media and wanted to propose to someone at a restaurant,” Raines said.

    She said he presented it to her that they were dating and were friends, so would she go along with that.

    “That’s how it went down, but I would not go with it,” Raines said. “I would not go along with it.”

    “I told him no, and he had said, ‘Well, if it comes out that I’m engaged to someone, it’s not really true
    I'm telling you, that guy's wiley like a fox.