Drive-Bys

Chicago Suntimes columnist Richard Roeper asks the questions, which make a pretty damn interesting meme:

Good Guy 101

1. After you pour yourself a cup of coffee at work, there's less than a half-cup left in the pot. Do you make a fresh pot or scoot out of there, leaving the task to the co-worker who comes in next?

I always make more coffee. Nothing pisses me off more than finding that someone has either let the pot burn down to nothing or turned off the pot and walked away.

2. You see someone fall down on the sidewalk in front of you. Do you laugh or rush to help?

I help. My Methodist upbringing wouldn't allow me to do anything else.

3. When you board an airplane, do you fill your overhead bin with all your stuff or try to leave room for fellow passengers?

I try and leave room... and hope that others will pay me the same courtesy.

4. Do you always sign your e-mails -- or do you send anonymous, nasty messages from time to time?

I sign 'em. If I can't own up to my own words, I wouldn't be much of a human being.

5. When the elevator doors are about to close, do you jab the "Door Open" button or pretend not to see that person racing toward you?

Well..... that depends on my mood that day.

6. If you're at a charity event with an open bar and there's a presentation, do you remain at the bar, chatting away, or do you actually listen to the people onstage?

If I've paid good money to get into a charity event, I'm paying attention to the presentation.

7. When the light turns green and the driver in front of you doesn't immediately move, do you hit the horn within three seconds?

Nope. Five seconds, at least.

8. If you're an adult without children and you catch a foul ball at a baseball game, do you keep it for yourself or give it to a nearby kid?

I've never been in a position to do this. Does it count that when I get a Happy Meal for lunch, I give the toys to the kids in the cubes in my corner of the office?

9. Do you always keep people waiting for 15 or 20 minutes because that's just your style -- that is, do you think your time is more valuable than everybody else's?

My mom drilled punctuality into me. Being late drives me insane.

10. Have you said the words "I'm sorry" in the last week?

Yes. I meant it, too.

11. When a colleague wins an award or gets a promotion, is your first reaction to wonder why it didn't happen to you?

Nope.

12. If a cashier mistakenly hands you too much money, is your first instinct to hand it back to him or pocket it?

If I notice right away, I give it back. I know their pay gets docked if their register is off at the end of a shift.

Answer key: You don't really need me to tell the "correct" answers, do you? In each of these instances, you know what you should say in order to pass the Good Guy test. So even if you gave the wrong answers most of the time, at least you recognize how you should be acting.

That's because you're a Good Guy at heart. (Aren't you?)

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