Have you checked out the Uncyclopedia yet? I guarantee you'll get eye-popping answers to all your most pressing questions.
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Who knew that Zonker's fierce midgets had formed a tribute band? (Oops! I forgot that Zonker's midgets like head-banging music.)
(A tip of the cap to Mike. It's all your fault, buddy.)
At least we know we'll have some great entertainment in Austin...
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I got a note from Elizabeth: "I went into a local gas station today and asked for $5 worth of gas. The clerk farted and handed me a receipt."
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