I went to the doc today for a follow-up to the sleep study I did a few days ago.
The results? Yep. I have moderate sleep apnea. I had no idea how many times a night I stop breathing until the doc showed me the graphs from the study. No wonder the Buckaroo was scared witless!
So what's the next step? Well, I have to go back to the sleep center next Thursday, and let them once again wire me up like the pre-surgery Bionic Woman. I'll have wires connected from the top of my head down to my ankles. Then they strap on some sensors around the waist and a chest sensor that gets strapped under the armpits and above the boobs. (We're talking major glamor, baby!) They stick the sensors to your face and scalp with some goop that's the consistency of rubber cement.* By the time morning rolls around, my hair will make these folks look stylish. Yes, indeedy -- I'll have seriously scary hair.
On top of that, I'll be hooked up to one of these dealies and they'll tweak the air pressure all night until they figure out just how much is enough to keep me breathing all through the night without over-inflating my sinuses.**
Not so bad, you say? Well get a load of this exotic sleepwear. (I'll probably end up with this one, which is not nearly so hideous looking or feeling. I think.)
Sleep studies and treatment for apnea are not for the vain and certainly not for sissies. So there.
*It takes DAYS to get this shit out of your hair and off of your skin.
**If you've ever been on an airplane and felt your ears plug up when the cabin pressurizes, then just take that feeling and shift it from your ears to your sinuses. Odd, but not too bad.