Signs

Once again The Lipstick Mystic (via the RedEye) believes yours truly has a much more interesting love life than reality:

Leo
July 23-Aug. 22

You're pushing ahead with a romance. [Lies! I'm behaving myself and waiting patiently.] Mars is turning you into a dominatrix. You want your lover to obey you and satisfy your every demand, but your honey could be preoccupied with an ex. Give him or her time to end that old relationship.

Sure thing. In the meantime, I just ordered some new winter boots illustrative of my demure and girly nature. Behold.
_____

Want your weekly horror-scope? Drop me a note in the comments and I'll post your sign's for you.