I didn't want to make a big deal out of it if I failed again, so I've held off writing about my latest escapades in trying to quit the demon tobacco until I knew I was successful.
Wouldn't you know, I got bounced from the study? Somehow or other I didn't fit their parameters.
That bummed me out... even though I really was dreading the awful side effects of the nicotine patch that I knew I'd have to use.
And then a funny thing happened. I actually had to go visit my doctor's office.
After most of the bumps, contusions and bruises cleared up (oh, I still have a few!), I finally got around to discussing the whole smoking issue with Dr. Hot Stuff, as I know it's a bad, bad thing to do with my genetic disposition towards throwing blood clots.
We discussed my past success (quit a 3 pack per day habit cold turkey and stayed quit for 10 years) and failures (all it took was 1 cigarette, and it led to too many attempts to quit to count). I admitted that I dreaded the patch, hated the gum and lozenges and absolutely loathed the nasal spray. Zyban was okay, but only helped to ratchet my smoking habit down a notch.
Dr. Hot Stuff suggested that I try Chantix, as it doesn't contain nicotine, and helps block the brains craving for the nasty stuff. Her concern was that if I had had wild dreams on the patch (and boy, oh, boy, did I!) that it might also be problem with Chantix.
To be honest, I was really psychologically ready to quit, and figured that there was a beginning, middle and end to the dosing schedule that I could probably live with. So I tried it.
And I'm smoke-free.
Not crawling the walls.
Not eating everything in sight.
Not snapping people's heads off.
Not losing sleep.
Holy moly! I want to kiss every single member of the research staff that developed this stuff.
It's not that I don't get the urge every once in a while, but it's not an overwhelming urge and I can usually make it go away fast.
Believe me when I say that I've tried to quit many, many times in the past, and it has always been a painful process.
Not this time.
I feel good about this.