Driver's Test

The suave and debonair Ellison issued a challenge to which I felt compelled to respond. Here are his questions and my answers:

1. If you could live anywhere you wanted on the planet for a year, where would it be? Why? Would your choice be any different if it were a lifetime move?
   
   Whitchurch, Hampshire, UK. I have friends there, and every time I've visited I prayed for a green card to magically appear so I didn't have to go home. It's the largest village in the UK, which is right next to Overton, the smallest town -- and they're both about the same size (i.e., tiny). With 8 pubs and several charming B&Bs, the locals get to know you... and your history... very quickly. (In fact, on my last visit I took my mom along, and the locals were asking after her at the Railway Pub for almost a month after we got back.) Speaking of the railway, Whitchurch is a great jumping off place for day trips all over the U.K. And most of the trains feature conductors with little trolleys offering tea, coffee, snacks and spirits. It's a lovely way to travel.
   
   Chicken tikka masala. The food hall at Harrod's (especially the cheeses). Harvey Nick's. High tea at the Ritz... or the Savoy... or the Dorchester. Flying kites at Watership Down (yes, it's a place and I've been there). The chance to meet the author of Watership Down over drinks at one of the local pubs. (Yes, Richard Adams lives in Whitchurch!) Fred's luscious bacon sandwiches for brekkie. Champers on the back porch with Suzie and Fred. A ploughman's lunch at the Mayfly Pub.
   
   A lifetime move there? Sign me up!
   
   
2. What is your favorite restaurant? Why do you like it?
   
   My all-time favorite restaurant no longer exists in its original incarnation. When I first moved to Chicago, Andies Restaurant was a hole-in-the-wall storefront restaurant serving Greek and Lebanese food. It's a block away from one of my favorite bookstores, so I could pick up a book and stroll down the street to have a quiet dinner and satisfying read. (Heh!)
   You walked in the door of Andies to be greeted by the grill (always something sizzling on it) and half a dozen young, recently-emigrated Lebanese waiters eager to seat you at one of ten or so small tables. The food was (and still is) always superb. The service was always... ummmm... amusing. "You, Lady. Why you always reading a book? Why no mens they buy you the dinner?" The first time I was there I patiently explained that I wasn't dating anyone at the time. Thereafter, I never paid for a glass of wine again. Why? At one point or another every one of those waiters had a divorced father or uncle sitting at a corner table, sipping coffee, chain smoking and waiving happily (and hopefully) at me. The waiter would come over and present me with a glass of wine "compliments of my uncle." An old gypsy lady selling roses would come through every night. "My father, he would like the beautiful lady to have this."
   
   
   These days Andies still has wonderful food, but the tacky fake brick and Mediterranean kitsch decor is gone. The grill has been banished to the back of the restaurant. The Lebanese waiters have all be replaced by yuppsters, gays and theater types. Man! I miss the good old days.
   
   
3. You have the chance to be President of the U.S. for one year. What would your priorities be?
   
   First priority would be to build a political power base. You can't do squat in D.C. without it. I'd look for representatives and senators with whom I had issues in common, even if it was only one issue, and build relationships from there. If you can get bipartisan support, you can do almost anything.
   
   Second, I'd be looking for people who are loyal, intelligent and articulate to rely on for information and advice in areas where I have no knowledge or expertise. I don't care how smart a person is; they have to be able to share knowledge in a timely and understandable way.
   
   If you've got both those bases covered, everything else on your agenda should fall a lot more easily into place.
   
   
4. Are you a sonnet person or a limerick person? Why?
   
   I'm a poetry person, period. I was a lit major in college. I'll read anything and everything I can get my hands on. And it doesn't necessarily have to rhyme.
   
   The sonnet/limerick question may also be an indicator of whether your are a romantic at heart, or bawdy, irreverent and fun-loving. The answer is, again, YES.
   
   
5. If you could wipe one (currently living) human being off the face of the earth - with no sin attached to the deed, no karmic reprisals of any kind - would you do it? If so, who would you make disappear?
   
   One??? Only one??? No fair. Much to Buckaroo Bonsai's amazement, I can be pretty bloody-minded when it comes to the extermination of vermin. It would not be good to allow me to play God in this instance. I would be merciless a lot more than once.

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Almost forgot this:

• Leave me a comment saying “Interview me, please.”
• I will respond by asking you five questions here on my blog (ideally, not the same questions you see here.)
• You will update your blog or website with the answers to the questions.
• In that same post, you will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else.
• When others comment, asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

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