Hello, Dispatch???

The Omnibus Driver makes for a very cranky passenger, especially when Dipsy Doodle Motor Coach Driver #1 brings along Chirpy Cathy wife for the first leg of the journey from Sarasota, FL to Savannah, GA... and the journey begins at 5:15 a.m.

At best, your humble Omnibus Driver is not a morning person. At worst, I make the Incredible Hulk look like an amiable chap in the a.m.

Throw in Chirpy Cathy, who repeatedly played with pagers, cell phones, GPS devices, coffee cups, V-8 cans and rattled through a clipboard full of papers right in my ear and DDMCD#1 who chose to simultaneously eat an Egg McMuffin, slurp from a large coffee and repeatedly turn around to consult the GPS and consult/argue with CC about directions while on the road, and it's truly a wonder there was no reporting of road rage... or anyone thrown under the bus from inside the vehicle.

Let us just say that The Princess Mom and I shared mutual thought bubbles today, mostly pondering murder and mayhem. It's true. We are melding into one person, one thought process. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Legendary Journeys has a lot to answer for. They'll only be legendary on this journey for the length of the ride (10 plus hours for TPM and I, and 12 plus hours for those poor saps that got picked up first in Naples), the ineptitude of the drivers, neither of whom had a clue in hell where they were going or how to get there in the most expeditious fashion, and the unbelievably awful dining options (McD's for breakfast, a really bad truck stop for lunch, and a shopping mall food court for dinner).

Motor Coach Driver #2 finally got us to Savannah (after many cell phone calls to more experienced driver to figure out where the hell we were and where he needed to be), we were supposed to have a tour of the city. Our behinds were so numb that we were actually looking forward to crawling out of the motor coach and onto a nice, hard trolley bench for a change of pace. No such luck. We picked up a tour guide who took us around town in the MC for another hourand a half, then they dropped us down by the waterfront for an hour of tootling around on foot.

Then back on the $#@%^%^&* MC for a trip to the hotel, which is 20 miles outside of downtown Savannah... and has no restaurant on the premises. Suggested dining? See shopping mall above.

Let's just say that today was so bad that before I started this post The Princess Mom had me checking into options to fly back to Sarasota next Saturday. Cost, unfortunately, is prohibitive.

The cruise had better be good, or the poor sap at the travel agency that recommended it to the Princess Mom may not live to tell the tale.

Sigh.

Gotta go night-night. The motor coach pulls out tomorrow at 7:45 a.m. bound for Charleston, SC and our ship.

I need a hot tub. And a valium. And a hand gun would be nice. (Just kidding.) (I think.)

In any case, great minds think alike. No more million mile motor coach trips for TPM or I, ever. We pinky-swore on it.