What I'm not sending are the panty-droppers. I just can't bring myself to send a pile of those to a bunch of octogenarians. The very thought of that just plain squicks me out. (No offense, ladies, but we all have our hang-ups, and this one's mine.)
So what, may you ask, is the difference between a bodice-ripper and a panty-dropper?
Bodice-rippers are a a lot of heaving bosoms, heavy breathing, a discreet wink and the quiet snick of a bedroom door closing.
Panty-droppers, on the other hand, are a raised window shade, dimmed lighting and a beckoning ladder at the bedroom window.
Bodice-rippers are bon-bons, ice cream and Sleepless In Seattle fests at home by one's own self.
You'll know the woman in your life has just polished off a dandy panty-dropper if she shows up on your doorstep with a six-pack, pizza and the Blue-Ray DVD of The Big Easy in hand and a shit-eating grin on her face. She's the single woman in the sunglasses and trench coat checking out the battery-operated-boyfriends at your local emporium d'amour -- and paying cash. She's the wife that's feeling frisky even before you are.
Here's a tip, fellas -- if you see a woman holding what looks to you like pure chick mushy stuff, think again. You may be correct. Then again, there may be smoke rising up from those pages. And where there's smoke.... Just take the hint, okay?
So here's my short list of guaranteed panty-droppers.
The godmother of all period P-D authors -- Rosemary Rogers
Vicki Lewis Thompson's Nerd series
Sandra Hill's Cajun series
Anything by Susan Elizabeth Phillips
Lorie Foster's SBC series (okay, every one but this one, which not only jumped the shark, but did a triple gainer with a half twist)
Anything by Rachel Gibson
If you're into fantasy fiction, C.T. Adams and Cathy Clamp write some doozies, and if Jacqueline Caray's Kushiel series doesn't push your buttons, your parts stopped working a long time ago.
That's just off the top of my head.
So tell me, ladies... what P-D books/authors push your buttons? Post 'em up in your own blog and drop me a link or leave a comment. I'm always in the market for a new find.
You Are Basic Panties
You are a laid back chick with a real natural beauty.
You can make unwashed hair and minimal make-up super sexy.
Men tend to notice you show the "real you" - and they appreciate it.
And while basic makes boring for some, it looks classic on you.