From the Sweetheart of Shell Knob, MO, comes this little tale:
Ole was walking home late at night, through the park, and sees a woman in the shadows.
"Twenty dollars!" she whispers.
He'd never been with a hooker before, but decides, what the hell, it's only twenty bucks.
So they hide in the bushes They're going 'at it' for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them -- it's a police officer. "What's going on here, people?" asks the officer.
"I'm making luff to my vife," Ole answers indignantly.
"Oh, I'm sorry." says the cop. "I didn't know."
"Vell," says Ole, "I din't neder, 'til you shine that damn light in her face."