A Shout-Out to the Prayer Warriors

Angie's dad is in a bad, bad way. I've been down that road myself with my own father, and I wouldn't wish all that anxiety, guilt and feelings of utter helplessness on anybody.

Won't you please hold Angie and her family in your prayers over the next couple of weeks? It helps. It really does.

Bus Fumes

Oh, sure! Absolve men of all responsibility for this:

The midlife crisis is a myth—sort of

Many believe that men go through a midlife crisis when they are in middle age. Not quite. Many middle-aged men do go through midlife crises, but it's not because they are middle-aged. It's because their wives are. From the evolutionary psychological perspective, a man's midlife crisis is precipitated by his wife's imminent menopause and end of her reproductive career, and thus his renewed need to attract younger women. Accordingly, a 50-year-old man married to a 25-year-old woman would not go through a midlife crisis, while a 25-year-old man married to a 50-year-old woman would, just like a more typical 50-year-old man married to a 50-year-old woman. It's not his midlife that matters; it's hers. When he buys a shiny-red sports car, he's not trying to regain his youth; he's trying to attract young women to replace his menopausal wife by trumpeting his flash and cash.

Blame it on the woman. Go right ahead.

More here.
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This teacher ranks right up there with my third grade teacher, Mrs. Clark, who announced on the first day of school that she assumed that we all knew that there was no such thing as Santa Claus.

Some people should never be let loose near children.

Drive-Bys

Oh, joy. Just what Chicago needs.

Meh.
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According to experts, my personality type is : Assasin for hire Other people like me display these traits. They are good in bed They are trekkies They suffer from bowel problems They smell like cucumbers Take the Ink Blot Personality Quiz at JokesUnlimited.com

Blame it on BabsRN.
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Two bits of beauty -- just because I needed some today.

Bus Fumes

Ear worm again. Argh! This time it's Guantanamera... but with grade school lyrics:

One ton tomato!
I'd eat a one ton tomato!
One ton toe-mayyyyyyyyyy-toooooooooooe!
I'd eat a one ton toe-mayyyyyyyyyy-toooooooooooe!

Aren't you glad I shared?

(Make it stop. Please???)

Road Conditions

Do you want to know where the speed traps are in your town, or wherever you're going visiting? Then go here for listings of know radar and laser speed traps in the U.S., Canada, Mexico and the Carribean, too!

In addition, you can add to the list of you've been on the receiving end of one of these little blinds (not you -- never), you can also add to the knowledge base.

(A tip of the cap to Catfish!)

Bus Fumes

If this is true, I hope they slap her unhappy ass in jail for a good, long time. Stupid git.
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It's not bad enough that they bring us one step closer to a "Big Brother" nation:

Millions of drivers around the country use E-ZPass and other electronic toll collection systems to speed them on their daily drives, but consumers are discovering that there is a price to be paid for the convenience: loss of privacy, haggling between state systems, accidental fines. Now, add to that list the “orphan exit.”

You probably know you should read your bills carefully every month looking for signs of fraud or overcharging by retailers. But if you're like most people, you probably don't do it anyway.

Read the whole thing.

Drive-Bys

Your Score: Hieroglyphics

You scored

You are Egyptian Hieroglyphics! Monumental, ornate and even in technicolour! Your users contributed virtually all ancient knowledge on inks, dyes and writing surfaces - to the point where the popular reed of Papyrus became the universal name for organic, manufactured writing surfaces in the western hemisphere for thousands of years. Proud, upstanding and dignified.

Link: The Which Ancient Language Are You Test written by imipak on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

(A tip of the cap to the Confabulator!)
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For Tammi, LL, Oddybobo and the rest of my military-supporting friends, go here. Just how cool is that?

(A tip of the cap to the LawDog.)
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Following in the tradition of the blog novella, here's a story in three parts. Damn fine writing, folks, from three of my favorite reads! (In fact, it's the kind of writing that grips you by the throat in the first three words and doesn't let go until the ride is over. And what a ride it is.)

Drive-Bys

You know all the things you dreamed of being when you grew up? I'll bet you Goose Poop Zamboni Driver wasn't on that list. Ick.
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This animal story, on the other hand, gave me a fit of the giggles. I've had neighbors like that before...
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Thez LOLcatz thingz r wai 2 fun.

Drive-Bys

What color is your soul painted? Red Your soul is painted the color red, which embodies the characteristics of love, strength, physical energy, sex, passion, courage, protection, excitement, speed, leadership, power, danger, and respect. Red is the color of the element Fire, and is associated with blood, life and death, birth, volcanoes, and intense emotions. Click Here to Take This Quiz

Quizzes and Personality Tests

(Cool quiz via Poppy, who's having a birthday today. Thanks, Poppy!)

Drive-Bys

You know, in Kerrville, Erica had us all convinced it was the frosting on GuyK's cake (scroll down) that caused this:

But now I'm convinced I've finally found the real culprits:

Kind of festive and tasty looking, no?
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Your Score: The Wolf

Here's your results! Your spirit animal has a Nobility ranking of 12 out of 18.

Your spirit animal is the wolf. It is a ferocious companion, and a loyal friend. It is both a respectable and noble creature; to have this spirit animal says good things about you, and that you are starting to figure things out. Wolves are pretty rare spirit animals.

***Wondering how this animal was chosen for you? These questions were carefully thought out to see how important you hold certain virtues such as: humanism, self-knowledge, rationalism, the love of freedom and other somewhat Hellenic ideals. Some of the questions were very subtle. Your score was then matched with an animal of corresponding nobility. However, you shouldn't think this was a right/wrong sort of test, but more of an idealistic values test. It's ok to not hold these values, you'll just get an animal spirit of lower stature if you do!***

Link: The What is Your Spirit Animal Test written by FindingEros on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

(A tip of the cap to Maranda.)
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Gah!

The Dirty Little Secret Deliberate Gentle Sex Master (DGSM) Innocent but fundamentally sexual, like the word "finger". You are the Dirty Little Secret. Few women have the confidence for sex mastery, and among nice girls, like you, it's almost unheard of. So congratulations. You've had plenty of adventures, but you've remained a kind, thoughtful person. Your friends appreciate your exploits. They even live vicariously through you. Your exact female opposite: The Wild Rose Random Brutal Love Dreamer You seek pleasure, but you're not irresponsible. You are organized and cautious, and you choose your lovers wisely. One, you don't like dirtbags. And two, you like to maintain control. Or at least lose it selectively. You might notice that older men single you out. They have an eye for your sensual nature. Take it as a compliment. You enjoy making people happy, and it's inevitable that many guys will fall harder for you than you for them. You're not completely comfortable in a serious, long-term relationship right now. Our guess is that the key to extended happiness will be finding a responsible, but kinky, mate. ALWAYS AVOID: The Hornivore (RBSM), The Manchild (RBLD), The Last Man on Earth (RBSD) CONSIDER: The Bachelor (DGSM), The Backrubber (DGSD) Link: The Online Dating Persona Test @ OkCupid - free online dating.

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Don't you just love it when someone will actually come out and say what everyone's been thinking all along?
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She's doing it again! SusiePie of Bluebird Blogs is once again holding a contest with the winning prize a beautiful custom Blogger template with all the trimmings. If you like my template -- which Susie designed -- then get on over here and drop a comment before 8:00 p.m. EST this Friday evening.

I hope one of my readers wins!
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I know who I'm voting for for Miss America this year.

Bus Fumes

No, no, no, no, NO! Bus drivers have already have enough distractions without adding cell phones to the mix. I'd be going to my school district and raising all sorts of hell if I thought my child's bus driver was chattering away on a cell phone while carrying my kid.
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Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I ordered a gift and had it sent regular delivery. Bad idea! The U.S. Post Office has now shipped it from a sorting center in Earth City, MO to New Berlin, WI and then to Indianapolis, IN.

The problem? It's supposed to go to Peoria, IL.

Do you suppose the U.S. Post Office can even find Peoria on a map? They've certainly hit most of the Midwest surrounding it, anyway. Feels like a bad game of pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey.

That's it. Next time I'm spending the extra couple of bucks. It'll be well worth it.

(Don't worry, Pammy. It'll be there before the wedding. I promise!)

Rubber-Necking

This is no surprise. Anyone who spends their first night out of rehab in a Vegas nightclub is bound to relapse in a big ol' hurry.
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Tootin' the Horn

Today's the first day of the Bar Exam all over the country. Good luck to everyone sitting for the exam... especially to this one. (Who, BTW, I'm taking out to dinner to celebrate tomorrow evening. Yippee!!)

Drive-Bys

The Divine Miss Marilyn took this test:

Your Score: Cheezburger cat

54% Affectionate, 53% Excitable, 75% Hungry

Sure, you deserve one. You helped popularized lolcats from a running gag to an online sensation. Now mainstream media writes asinine columns on this 'phenomenon', students write theses on the topic, programming languages adopt the grammar, and losers write tests about them on dating sites. Now take your cheezburger and never touch the internets again.

To see all possible results, checka dis.

Link: The Which Lolcat Are You? Test written by GumOtaku on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

She waives politely to SFP at Pages Turned.
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My turn!

My Conservative Identity:

You are a Flag-Waving Everyman, also known as a patriot. You believe in freedom, apple pie, rooting for America at all times, and that God gave us a two-day weekend so we could enjoy football and NASCAR.

Take the quiz at www.FightLiberals.com

And...

My Liberal Identity:

You are a Working Class Warrior, also known as a blue-collar Democrat. You believe that the little guy is getting screwed by conservative greed-mongers and corporate criminals, and you’re not going to take it anymore.

Take the quiz at www.FightConservatives.com

Both from Jay. He's correct, too. No matter what your political leanings, you can find answers you can live with on both!

Rubber-Necking

Spit-take of the day here.

(Made you laugh!)

Traveling Companions

Nkwyren mindz wanna noe.
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In the meantime, don't forget to visit the Friday Ark. Carnival of the Cats goes up every Sunday and the 173rd edition, 7/15, is up at 100 Word Stories Podcast . The 174th edition will be hosted on 7/22 by This Blog Is Full of Crap. There are more weekly cats at Weekend Cat Blogging #111 hosted on 7/21-7/22 by Paulchen's FoodBlog?!

Tootin' the Horn

Huh. I am flattered beyond words at the thought, especially coming from such a cool, cool chick. And if you read the whole thing and look at the company she lumps me in with -- whoa, dude. It's an honor, let me tell you.

I'm also with BabsRN* in that I don't consider my blogging to be schmoozing, per se:

American Heritage Dictionary - Cite This Source

schmooze or schmoose also shmooze (shmōōz) Pronunciation Key v. schmoozed or schmoosed also shmoozed, schmooz·ing or schmoos·ing also shmooz·ing, schmooz·es or schmoos·es also shmooz·es v. intr. To converse casually, especially in order to gain an advantage or make a social connection. v. tr. To engage in schmoozing with: "how to be a professional artist—how to be a businessperson, how to schmooze the collectors" (Paige Powell). n. The act or an instance of schmoozing. [Yiddish shmuesn, possibly from shmues, a chat, pl. of shmue, rumor, Hebrew šəmû'â, rumor; see šmʕ in Semitic roots.] schmooz'er n., schmooz'y adj.

(Download Now or Buy the Book) The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
Copyright © 2006 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Then again, maybe it is. I certainly have gained social connections I never would have found any other way through this crazy interweb.

I do believe in reaching out to people who make you laugh, infuriate the hell out of you, make you cry, make you think and make you care.

I don't believe in burning bridges unless it is absolutely necessary. When you do that, you simple can't go back that way again.

I've had the very real pleasure of meeting the following folks, some in person and some in the cybersphere, each of whom set the gold standard for schmoozing in blogland:

Tammi -- This woman schmoozes for a living, and proudly blogs all about. I love a woman with sass and class.

Redneck -- Just look at that post, will you? If that's not schmoozing, I don't know what is! (And I love the hell out of the guy.) (Note -- If you can't see the post, he's put it back on ice. But believe me, he painted a flattering portrait of yours truly.)

Elisson -- Is there a blogger on the planet who doesn't absolutely love the guy? I don't think so. And what's not to love?

Vicki -- Here's a gal who makes friends seemingly effortlessly. One of these days soon she's going to have to make it to Therapy Night. I can't wait.

K -- She gets people to band together to do good stuff, mostly by the sheer force of her sunny (but not cream puff-ish) personality. A true gitt'er done gal.

Miles & Sammy Meezer -- Whether you like cat bloggers or not, you've got to admire the incredible number of friends and admirers these two charmers have made all across the interweb. (The Divine Miss Marilyn insisted I include them, and I've got to live with her, okay?)

Zonker -- I'd be remiss if I didn't include the undisputed King of the Blogmeets. Is there anyone he doesn't know? Anywhere he won't go for a blogmeet? Any blogger he won't raise a glass with? I surely don't think so.

Eric -- Sometimes smartass, sometimes Mr. Mischief, and sometimes the most wonderful guy in the world to have a deep discussion with. Yeah. Just when you think you've got him all figured out, he'll go and get all nice on you. And gentlemanly. And caring. Sheesh.

There you have it. Some, but not all, of my favorite schmoozers. And I love every one of them.
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*Um, BabsRN? I'd really love to meet you at Blogtoberfest. If I can make it all the way from Chicago, surely you can make it from your little corner of Georgia. Then I can thank you in person!
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Update: I really, really should have added Venomous Kate to the above list, and am remedying that mistake right here. Why does she get the award? She doesn't just schmooze -- she bites.

Drive-Bys

Where is your spirit craving to take you to? Somewhere Secluded Right now you are craving to find some place that offers simplicity because you need peace and serenity in your life. You find the world to be overwhelming at times and need reassurance of the beauty that exists apart from man-made things. You are going to feel fulfilled when you find someplace that brings you to feeling who you truly are. Click Here to Take This Quiz

Quizzes and Personality Tests

Absolutely true.

(A tip of the cap to the Infinite one.)
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The Princess Mom can sure show her Yankee roots from time to time... usually when it comes to parting with cash. Yes, I learned to be frugal at the feet of the mistress. Funny, then than my Fairy BlogMother also displays her frugal nature.

Print the list off and save it for future purchases. I know I'm going to!
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What Kim said, and then some. Sheesh!
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Since a couple of the boys seem to get such glee out of things that peg out my sqick-o-meter, here are two* more.**

*It's not the nudity. It's the doing it in front of a space alien of a minister... or three. What the hell is that on that guy's head?

**Self explanatory.
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Hmm. Gotta add this to my Christmas list...

BTW -- here's where Kathy Hanrahan and I disagree:

Ms. Hanrahan imagines a situation in which a woman is menaced as she makes her way to her car in a parking garage. She points and clicks her Taser at her target, delivering a 30-second shock (the police’s version transmits a 5-second zap) and then drops the Taser and runs madly. “If I am going to use it, I’m going to fire it and leave,” she said.

Drop it, hell. I'm hanging on to it for dear life, and giving it brand new batteries when I get it home.
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BTW -- I've updated the blogroll, but have a nagging feeling I've forgotten to add somebody important. Or to add the (*) to those I've met. If you think you should be there and you're not, or if I've met you and haven't updated to show it, drop me a comment and I'll fix it right away.
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What the hell. Here's one more:

Your brain: 140% interpersonal, 80% visual, 60% verbal, and 120% mathematical!

Congratulations on being 400% smart! Actually, on my test, everyone is. The above score breaks down what kind of thinking you most enjoy doing. A score above 100% means you use that kind of thinking more than average, and a score below 100% means you use it less. It says nothing about how good you are at any one, just how interested you are in each, relatively. A substantial difference in scores between two people means, conclusively, that they are different kinds of thinkers.




Matching Summary: Each of us has different tastes. Still, I offer the following advice, which I think is obvious:

1. Don't date someone if your interpersonal percentages differ by more than 80%.
   
2. Don't be friends with someone if your verbal percentages differ by more than 100%.
   
3. Don't have sex with someone if their math percentage is over 200%.

Link: The 4-Variable IQ Test written by chriscoyne on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Psssssst!

I went over to this site to help a fellow blogger win a custom portrait of a beloved pet who's crossed over the Rainbow Bridge. That's a cause I can certainly get behind.

But then I see that somebody is wracking up points for a contest she wants to win just because. Nope. She doesn't want the prize. She just wants to win.

I've gotta stick up for my fellow pet-loving pal and ask for your help. Go here. Scroll down and drop the following comment: REFERRED BY PAM OF PAMIBE.COM. You don't have to be a blogger to play. Lurker comments count, too!

Do it because it's the right thing to do, m'kay?
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Update: Michele has done a really stand-up thing and withdrawn from the contest... but Pam still needs your comments to win. If you haven't gone and dropped a comment -- what are you waiting for, for goodness sake?

Rubber-Necking

My pal the Confabulator has a little caption contest going on here. Here's my response:

I r stoopid fer gitten hookd on thez things.
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Eeeeeeeewwwwwww!!! That's going to have me all squicked out for days!