Did you ever do something so totally out of character that a whole bar full of people froze in shock? Yeah... I had one of those nights last night. Really, all I wanted to do was read my book, drink my glass of wine and wait for the next train home. Be the most boring person in the place.
Some people will not take "no" for an answer, however...
Anyhow, I'm not feeling apologetic at all. I probably should, but I don't. Stunned at my own behavior. But not even a little bit repentant. Who'd a thunk it?
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From the Rowdies in the Back of the Bus
The Sweetheart of Shell Knob, MO sends these latest rules from George Carlin:
Also from the Sweetheart, one of the most interesting search engines you'll find on the net -- meet Ms. Dewey!
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From Elizabeth:
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Again from Elizabeth, this story (Brixton, UK) that ought to have Eric and Yabu's hair standing on end:
For Halloween, Nancy V. sends this Hang Man Game.
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New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.
New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout?
New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.
New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're gay. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.
New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.
New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket; water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.
New Rule: Stop f***ing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.
New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole.
New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.
New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.
New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."
New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.
New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie. [My personal favorite!]
New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.
New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
Also from the Sweetheart, one of the most interesting search engines you'll find on the net -- meet Ms. Dewey!
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From Elizabeth:
Insurance Slogans
Four insurance companies are in competition. One comes up with the slogan,
"Coverage from the cradle to the grave."
The second one tries to improve on that with, "Coverage from the womb to the tomb."
Not to be outdone, the third one comes up with, "From the sperm to the worm."
The fourth insurance company really thought hard and almost gave up the race, but finally came up with,
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Again from Elizabeth, this story (Brixton, UK) that ought to have Eric and Yabu's hair standing on end:
NATURE lovers fear that squirrels could become hooked on crack cocaine plundered from addicts' hidden stashes.
The furry animals are thought to be behind a new drugs turf war in Brixton - stealing rocks of crack hidden in front gardens.
Tough police action to rid the town centre of dealers and addicts has seen crackheads abandon their usual drug stash hideouts.
But the blitz has displaced some dealing into nearby residential streets.
Drug addicts are known to be hiding small stashes of crack rocks in people's front lawns late at night.
Squirrels have been spotted in the same front gardens, seemingly hunting out the buried narcotics.
The discovery has led some residents to speculate that the squirrels are already in the grips of addiction. One resident, who asked for his name to be withheld, told the South London Press.
"I was chatting with my neighbor who told me that crack users and dealers sometimes use my front garden to hide bits of their stash.
"An hour earlier I'd seen a squirrel wandering round the garden, digging in the flowerbeds.
"It looked like it knew what it was looking for.
"It was ill-looking and its eyes looked bloodshot but it kept on desperately digging.
"It was almost as if it was trying to find hidden crack rocks."
Crack squirrels are a recognised phenomena in the
They are known to live in parks frequented by addicts in
The squirrels have attacked park visitors in their frenzied search for their next fix.
An RSPCA spokesman said he was unaware of the squirrels taking crack in Brixton.
For Halloween, Nancy V. sends this Hang Man Game.
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Drive-Bys
The bigger question is, when is your Omnibus Driver's work life going to get back to normal???Arghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(48 more hours.)
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(God, I love Google Images!)
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Stopping Traffic
Remember I told you about all those Chicago traffic cameras and where they are located? Well, it seems even Chicago's finest can't get out of those tickets. If you're coming to Chicago and planning on driving in the city, pay attention, okay?
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Drive-Bys
The big dogs have finally blown out of town, but I've still got a butt-load of stuff to clear off my desk before the end of the day. The Divine Miss Marilyn and I will be back after a well-deserved rest this weekend. Wishing you the same!
(And a tip of the cap to Del Leu for the wonderful photo!)
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Drive-Bys
Yep. That's about how my day's been so far. How about yours?
(A tip of the cap to Cafe Bongo's Hamster Tales for the great photo!)
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Tootin' the Horn
A belated "Happy Birthday" to one of the best CGP's* around! Go send Pammy some belated best wishes._____
*Cyber Gal Pal.
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Drive-Bys
Remember that train wreck I mentioned yesterday? I am forced, ladies and gents, to eat those words. Liza Minelli looked fabulous, sounded fabulous -- hell, she even danced and sang fabulously, and those weren't scheduled events!
Some bits and pieces gleaned from the interview?
"I guess you could say I got my drive from my mother and my dreams from my dad."
"I don't know what posessed me to wait 8 years to get my first hip replacement. I want to say to every one of you out there, if you need to have it done, get it done right away!"
When asked what, as a child, she had wanted to be when she grew up? "I always wanted to be an ice skater!"
Did you know she had severe scoliosis as a child? "I don't stand this way because I'm posing like I'm dancing for Bob Fosse -- I stand this way so I can expand my rib cage for better lung capacity so I can breathe better."
She left home for summer stock dance opportunities on Broadway -- and never went home or took a cent from her parents ever again.
She's TINY.
If I could make a deal with the Devil to get great gams like hers... I might just reconsider my Christian upbringing -- for a second, anyway.
36 years ago, her father received the very same award.
From the brief clips we say, her upcoming movie, "The OH in Ohio," looks like it will be hilarious! (Hint -- Watch for the scene with the the "Velvet Volcano". You'll laugh -- I guarantee!)
I'm glad I went. She's made a real fan out of me!
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Some bits and pieces gleaned from the interview?"I guess you could say I got my drive from my mother and my dreams from my dad."
"I don't know what posessed me to wait 8 years to get my first hip replacement. I want to say to every one of you out there, if you need to have it done, get it done right away!"
When asked what, as a child, she had wanted to be when she grew up? "I always wanted to be an ice skater!"
Did you know she had severe scoliosis as a child? "I don't stand this way because I'm posing like I'm dancing for Bob Fosse -- I stand this way so I can expand my rib cage for better lung capacity so I can breathe better."
She left home for summer stock dance opportunities on Broadway -- and never went home or took a cent from her parents ever again.She's TINY.
If I could make a deal with the Devil to get great gams like hers... I might just reconsider my Christian upbringing -- for a second, anyway.
36 years ago, her father received the very same award. From the brief clips we say, her upcoming movie, "The OH in Ohio," looks like it will be hilarious! (Hint -- Watch for the scene with the the "Velvet Volcano". You'll laugh -- I guarantee!)
I'm glad I went. She's made a real fan out of me!
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Roadside Diner
The chill in the air has turned my thoughts to good, old-fashioned comfort food... with a twist:
Mexican-Style Stuffed Peppers
2 Large or 3 medium red bell peppers
2 Cups cooked rice
1 Lb. lean ground beef
1-2 Tsps. minced garlic (I use the jarred stuff)
1 Med. yellow onion, diced
1/2 Can pinto beans,* rinsed and drained
1/2 Can niblet corn,* drained or 1 Cup frozen niblet corn, thawed
1 Jar Pace picante sauce (I like medium or hot, but your choice of heat)
1 Bag Kraft Mexican-style 4 cheese, shredded
Salt
Pepper
Chili powder
Set a large pot of water on the stove to boil. Slice bell peppers lengthwise, seed and core. When water is boiling, drop in bell pepper sections. Allow to boil 1 minute, then drain and rinse in cold water.
In a skillet, saute the ground beef with the onion and garlic. Add salt, pepper and chili powder to taste. When beef is browned and onions are glassy, drain and transfer mixture to a large, heat-resistant bowl.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
To beef mixture stir in cooked rice, pinto beans and corn.
Spray a 9"X13" baking dish with cooking spray.
Arrange bell pepper halves in the bottom of baking dish. Spoon beef/rice mixture into bell pepper halves, spreading any leftover mixture throughout baking dish. Top with picante sauce. Bake for 45 minutes.
Sprinkle shredded cheese over top. Return to oven and bake until cheese melts and bubbles.
Yum!
*So as not to be wasteful, I usually layer the leftover beans and corn with diced peppers, shredded lettuce, sour cream, chopped tomato, black olive, guacamole and more shredded cheese and serve as a dip with tortilla chips. For extra zip, use Hidden Valley Spicy Ranch dressing instead of sour cream.
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P.S. -- This is wonderful the first time around and outstanding as leftovers!
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Mexican-Style Stuffed Peppers
2 Large or 3 medium red bell peppers
2 Cups cooked rice
1 Lb. lean ground beef
1-2 Tsps. minced garlic (I use the jarred stuff)
1 Med. yellow onion, diced
1/2 Can pinto beans,* rinsed and drained
1/2 Can niblet corn,* drained or 1 Cup frozen niblet corn, thawed
1 Jar Pace picante sauce (I like medium or hot, but your choice of heat)
1 Bag Kraft Mexican-style 4 cheese, shredded
Salt
Pepper
Chili powder
Set a large pot of water on the stove to boil. Slice bell peppers lengthwise, seed and core. When water is boiling, drop in bell pepper sections. Allow to boil 1 minute, then drain and rinse in cold water.
In a skillet, saute the ground beef with the onion and garlic. Add salt, pepper and chili powder to taste. When beef is browned and onions are glassy, drain and transfer mixture to a large, heat-resistant bowl.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
To beef mixture stir in cooked rice, pinto beans and corn.
Spray a 9"X13" baking dish with cooking spray.
Arrange bell pepper halves in the bottom of baking dish. Spoon beef/rice mixture into bell pepper halves, spreading any leftover mixture throughout baking dish. Top with picante sauce. Bake for 45 minutes.
Sprinkle shredded cheese over top. Return to oven and bake until cheese melts and bubbles.
Yum!
*So as not to be wasteful, I usually layer the leftover beans and corn with diced peppers, shredded lettuce, sour cream, chopped tomato, black olive, guacamole and more shredded cheese and serve as a dip with tortilla chips. For extra zip, use Hidden Valley Spicy Ranch dressing instead of sour cream.
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P.S. -- This is wonderful the first time around and outstanding as leftovers!
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Rubber-Necking
Okay. Try wrapping your head around this:
(A tip of the cap to Ken Lammers for an image that'll take weeks to scrub from my brain.)
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"Faiello said Cruz, a financial analyst, began having seizures after he gave her the anesthetic Lidocaine on April 13, 2003, while she was being treated with laser treatment for hair growth on her tongue."I've been doing the "eewie, eewie, EEWIE" dance in my chair just thinking about it. Ick.
(A tip of the cap to Ken Lammers for an image that'll take weeks to scrub from my brain.)
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Drive-Bys
Speaking of Lisa W., you can blame her for this:
Heh.
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Dad Gone Mad's got a great movie meme going on. Go join in!
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| Your Haloween Costume Should Be |
 |
Heh.
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Dad Gone Mad's got a great movie meme going on. Go join in!
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Rubber-Necking
For my offbeat friends like Eric, Ellison, Dax, Yabu, Vman, Og, and more, y'all go over here,* then come back here and lay a caption on that sucker. (For those of you folks with delicate sensibilities... just don't go there, okay?) I also have high expectations of the lovely Pammy, Livey, LL, Lisa W. and other female buddies of the same ilk.
I can't wait for the captioning to begin!
*As Eric frequently says, "That just ain't right."
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Speaking of rubber-necking, I'll be doing a little of that my ownself tonight when I get to sit in on the great train wreck that is Liza Minelli. Ought to be interesting, huh?
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I can't wait for the captioning to begin!
*As Eric frequently says, "That just ain't right."
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Speaking of rubber-necking, I'll be doing a little of that my ownself tonight when I get to sit in on the great train wreck that is Liza Minelli. Ought to be interesting, huh?
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Tootin' the Horn
Well, whaddaya know?
Seems Moody Mama's, having an... um... extra birthday, too. Happiest of birthdays, Angie!
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Egad! I understand I missed another important birthday boy.
Sincere apologies...
... and big ol' natal-celebratory smoocheroos to the King of Parkway Rest Stops.
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Seems Moody Mama's, having an... um... extra birthday, too. Happiest of birthdays, Angie!_____
Egad! I understand I missed another important birthday boy.
Sincere apologies...
... and big ol' natal-celebratory smoocheroos to the King of Parkway Rest Stops._____
Drive-Bys
Quote of the Day (in honor of Chou, who probably ought to just make this her own motto):
"You show me a woman who would rather use a computer or a book than talk to a Cop or Firefighter, and I'll show you a woman who needs to have her hormone levels checked!"_____
Tootin' the Horn
Holy guacamole! The Rosily Thunderous One is also having a birthday!
Business in the front; party in the rear. All bow before the birthday mullet!
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One of my favorite people in the whole wide world is having a birthday!
Send him some zombie birthday love, will you?
(Sorry I missed the party, Dude. No one regrets that more than I...)
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More birthday shout-outs to the most super fantastic shoe blogger in the blogsphere:
Stop by and send him birthday besos, and tell him the Bus Driver sent you!
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Business in the front; party in the rear. All bow before the birthday mullet!_____
One of my favorite people in the whole wide world is having a birthday!
Send him some zombie birthday love, will you?(Sorry I missed the party, Dude. No one regrets that more than I...)
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More birthday shout-outs to the most super fantastic shoe blogger in the blogsphere:
Stop by and send him birthday besos, and tell him the Bus Driver sent you!
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Traveling Companions
The Divine Miss Marilyn is ready for her close-up. Very close up._____
You know the drill: The Friday Ark is up at the Modulator. Carnival of the Cats will be up Sunday evening, hosted this week by House of the (Mostly) Black Cats. Weekend Cat Blogging will be up Saturday at Rosa's Yummy Yums. If that ain't enough feline goodness for ya, I don't know what is.
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Haven't had enough feline cuteness yet? Okay, then go here. That'll make you go, "Awwwww!" I promise.
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Tootin' the Horn
Mira is celebrating her second blogiversary at the Oubliette:
You wear it well, my friend!
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Never teh Bride is having her first blogiversary at Manolo for the Brides:
She makes me laugh every day. Please go send best wishes her way, and tell her I sent you!
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You wear it well, my friend!_____
Never teh Bride is having her first blogiversary at Manolo for the Brides:
She makes me laugh every day. Please go send best wishes her way, and tell her I sent you!_____
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