Heh! ('Nuff said.)
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Miscellaneous Meanderings
Here's a nifty little piece of technology for anyone who travels with their laptop.
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Ooh, goody! I always loved this catalog. And since I'll be travelling this fall, I just may have to order a thing or two. (A tip of the cap to Ann Althouse.)
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Ooh, goody! I always loved this catalog. And since I'll be travelling this fall, I just may have to order a thing or two. (A tip of the cap to Ann Althouse.)
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Bus Fumes
Bet you can't get through all these pictures without wanting to bite someone's head off. I know I couldn't do it. This is just so wrong.
Here's another thing that makes me clench my teeth so hard my jaw hurts. And Jews aren't the only ones feeling the heat from vandals and hate-baiting.
What's WRONG with people, anyway? It takes a hell of a lot of energy to maintain sustained hate that much...
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And what evil produced this Spawn of Satan?
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Here's another thing that makes me clench my teeth so hard my jaw hurts. And Jews aren't the only ones feeling the heat from vandals and hate-baiting.
What's WRONG with people, anyway? It takes a hell of a lot of energy to maintain sustained hate that much...
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And what evil produced this Spawn of Satan?
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Wide Open Spaces
Canadian group eyeing X-Prize?
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Erratic "superbolts" of lightening seen on Saturn.
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They may be slowing down, but Spirit and Opportunity are still sending back lots of interesting data.
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NASA's bioseeking robot is going for a test drive.
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_____
Erratic "superbolts" of lightening seen on Saturn.
_____
They may be slowing down, but Spirit and Opportunity are still sending back lots of interesting data.
_____
NASA's bioseeking robot is going for a test drive.
_____
Bus Fumes
Say it ain't so! This can't possibly be the new Batmobile! Ack! It's U-G-L-Y. It's uncool. Now here's the real deal. (Tip of the cap to Damien.) Now if I could only find a photo of Batgirl's Batcycle, I could show you some REALLY cool wheels.
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Roadside Diversions
Carnival of the Vanities is up at Seldom Sober.
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Carnival of the Dogs is up at Mickey's Musings.
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And the Carnival of the Cats is up at Laurence Simon's place.
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Carnival of the Dogs is up at Mickey's Musings.
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And the Carnival of the Cats is up at Laurence Simon's place.
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Wide Open Spaces
More on Messenger's Mercury mission.
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Spirit and Opportunity are growing weary?
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Two Texas universities plan to build the world's largest telescope. Hmmm. Could give the Hubble a challenge.
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They're ba-ack!
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Spirit and Opportunity are growing weary?
_____
Two Texas universities plan to build the world's largest telescope. Hmmm. Could give the Hubble a challenge.
____
They're ba-ack!
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Down Memory Lane
On my way down Lake Shore Drive this morning (and a GLORIOUS day it is in Chicago today, I might add), I glanced over at Lincoln Park Zoo. For some reason this brought back memories of the old Ray Rayner Show, and the features he did on The Ark In The Park.
The next thing you know, I have this silly song in my head, and now I can't make it stop! (But I am going to have to get the Rovers CD with this song on it for TMBCITW.) Anyway, if you see me and I have a goofry grin on my face today, this is why.
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Murray's correct: People under the age of 30 are sissies. Nyah, nyah!
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The next thing you know, I have this silly song in my head, and now I can't make it stop! (But I am going to have to get the Rovers CD with this song on it for TMBCITW.) Anyway, if you see me and I have a goofry grin on my face today, this is why.
_____
Murray's correct: People under the age of 30 are sissies. Nyah, nyah!
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Good Samaritans
It's rare for the media spotlight to shine on good teens. Kudos to these boys for showing the true meaning of friendship. And a big round of applause to the parents who let them do it.
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Book Your Ticket
This is just a shame, as it takes the focus off an awful and all-too-real practice in the Middle East, and puts the focus on a woman profiting from fictionalizing it.
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Wide Open Spaces
Spacecraft Messenger is on it's way to Mercury.
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Russia wants payment for delivering U.S. goods and astronauts to the International Space Station. I don't think this is unfair or unreasonable. After all, we can't seem to get ourselves there on our own these days.
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Speaking of the Space Station, seems the latest crew is rolling out the red carpet for a new line of cargo ships.
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New theory says our solar system is unique. Doesn't that make you feel special?
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Sights unseen.
_____
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Russia wants payment for delivering U.S. goods and astronauts to the International Space Station. I don't think this is unfair or unreasonable. After all, we can't seem to get ourselves there on our own these days.
_____
Speaking of the Space Station, seems the latest crew is rolling out the red carpet for a new line of cargo ships.
_____
New theory says our solar system is unique. Doesn't that make you feel special?
_____
Sights unseen.
_____
From the Rowdies in the Back of the Bus
From Elizabeth: Jesus in the Bathroom
A Sunday school teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that he grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus?"
Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven!"
Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart!"
Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!"
The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.
Little Johnny replied, "Well, every morning my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells: 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'"
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And The Retirement Package
The Navy found they had too many officers and decided tooffer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inchmeasured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.
The third one was a non officer grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "from the tip of my penis to my testicles." It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him, providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer. The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop em," which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's penis and began to work back. "My God!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"
The old Chief calmly replied . . "Vietnam ".
_____
A Sunday school teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that he grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus?"
Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven!"
Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart!"
Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!"
The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.
Little Johnny replied, "Well, every morning my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells: 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'"
_____
And The Retirement Package
The Navy found they had too many officers and decided tooffer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inchmeasured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.
The third one was a non officer grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "from the tip of my penis to my testicles." It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him, providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer. The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop em," which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's penis and began to work back. "My God!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"
The old Chief calmly replied . . "Vietnam ".
_____
Rubber-Necking
A triple-dog-dare. And two guys insane enough to actually take the dare. Yes, indeedy. This would surely cause some serious whiplash.
_____
And speaking of rubber-necking, we're doing a lot of that from the 16th floor these days. The new Batman movie is filming here in Chicago, and all the prop and lighting trailers are in the lot right behind my office. Haven't spied any famous folk yet, but it's still pretty entertaining just to watch these guys work.
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And speaking of rubber-necking, we're doing a lot of that from the 16th floor these days. The new Batman movie is filming here in Chicago, and all the prop and lighting trailers are in the lot right behind my office. Haven't spied any famous folk yet, but it's still pretty entertaining just to watch these guys work.
_____
Rest Stops
Meghan sent this not-to-be-missed story of women and public rest rooms:
My mother was a fanatic about public bathrooms. When I was a little girl, she'd take me into the stall, teach me to wad up toilet paper and wipe the seat. Then, she'd carefully lay strips of toilet paper to cover the seat. Finally, she'd instruct, "Never, NEVER sit on a public toilet seat. Then she'd demonstrate "The Stance," which consisted of balancing over the toilet in a sitting position without actually letting any of your flesh make contact with the toilet seat. By this time, I'd have wet down my leg and we'd have to go home to change my clothes.
Even now, in my more "mature years, "The Stance" is excruciatingly difficult to maintain, especially when one's bladder is full.
When you have to "go" in a public bathroom, you usually find a line of of women that makes you think there's a half-price sale on Nelly's underwear in there. So, you wait and smile politely at all the other ladies, who are also crossing their legs and smiling politely. You get closer and check for feet under the stall doors. Every one is occupied. Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall.
You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter. The dispenser for the new fangled "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook if there was one - but there isn't - so you carefully but quickly hang it around your neck (mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume "The Stance."
Ahhhh, relief. More relief. But then your thighs begin to shake. You'd love to sit down but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance" as your thighs experience a quake that would register an eight on the Richter scale. To take your mind off of your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if! you would have tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!"
Your thighs shake more. You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It is still smaller than your thumbnail. Someone pushes open your stall door because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backwardagainst the tank of the toilet. "Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle, and sliding down, directly onto the insidious toilet seat. You bolt up quickly, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because You never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly ashamed of you if she knew, because you're certain that her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get."
By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is soconfused that it flushes, sending up a stream of water akin to a fountain that suddenly sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged off to China.At that point, you give up. You're soaked by the splashing water. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket, then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past a line of women, still waiting, cross-legged and, at this point, no longer able to smile politely.
One kind soul at the very end of the line points out that you are trailing a piece of toilet paper on your shoe as long as the Mississippi River! (Where was it when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this."
As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has since entered, used and exited the men's restroom and read a copy of War and Peace while waiting for you. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?"
This is dedicated to women everywhere who have ever had to deal with a public restroom (rest??? you've got to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked question about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other woman can hold the door and hand you Kleenex under the door.
_____
My mother was a fanatic about public bathrooms. When I was a little girl, she'd take me into the stall, teach me to wad up toilet paper and wipe the seat. Then, she'd carefully lay strips of toilet paper to cover the seat. Finally, she'd instruct, "Never, NEVER sit on a public toilet seat. Then she'd demonstrate "The Stance," which consisted of balancing over the toilet in a sitting position without actually letting any of your flesh make contact with the toilet seat. By this time, I'd have wet down my leg and we'd have to go home to change my clothes.
Even now, in my more "mature years, "The Stance" is excruciatingly difficult to maintain, especially when one's bladder is full.
When you have to "go" in a public bathroom, you usually find a line of of women that makes you think there's a half-price sale on Nelly's underwear in there. So, you wait and smile politely at all the other ladies, who are also crossing their legs and smiling politely. You get closer and check for feet under the stall doors. Every one is occupied. Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall.
You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter. The dispenser for the new fangled "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook if there was one - but there isn't - so you carefully but quickly hang it around your neck (mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume "The Stance."
Ahhhh, relief. More relief. But then your thighs begin to shake. You'd love to sit down but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance" as your thighs experience a quake that would register an eight on the Richter scale. To take your mind off of your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if! you would have tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!"
Your thighs shake more. You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It is still smaller than your thumbnail. Someone pushes open your stall door because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backwardagainst the tank of the toilet. "Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle, and sliding down, directly onto the insidious toilet seat. You bolt up quickly, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because You never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly ashamed of you if she knew, because you're certain that her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get."
By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is soconfused that it flushes, sending up a stream of water akin to a fountain that suddenly sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged off to China.At that point, you give up. You're soaked by the splashing water. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket, then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past a line of women, still waiting, cross-legged and, at this point, no longer able to smile politely.
One kind soul at the very end of the line points out that you are trailing a piece of toilet paper on your shoe as long as the Mississippi River! (Where was it when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this."
As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has since entered, used and exited the men's restroom and read a copy of War and Peace while waiting for you. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?"
This is dedicated to women everywhere who have ever had to deal with a public restroom (rest??? you've got to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked question about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other woman can hold the door and hand you Kleenex under the door.
_____
The Campaign Trail
Does anyone care what Jesse Jackson wants? He really must be joking.
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How did Kerry do in his acceptance speech? You do the math. (Tip of the cap to the Instapundit.)
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The last word on Sandy Berger's pants and the 9/11 Commission. Great insight into a particularly troublesome problem.
_____
I know it's perverse, but this made me laugh. A lot.
_____
And a brief word to President Bush: I don't want to hear what a terrible guy Kerry is. I want to hear what makes you a better candidate than he is. I want to vote for a candidate, not against a candidate I just can't stand.
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_____
How did Kerry do in his acceptance speech? You do the math. (Tip of the cap to the Instapundit.)
_____
The last word on Sandy Berger's pants and the 9/11 Commission. Great insight into a particularly troublesome problem.
_____
I know it's perverse, but this made me laugh. A lot.
_____
And a brief word to President Bush: I don't want to hear what a terrible guy Kerry is. I want to hear what makes you a better candidate than he is. I want to vote for a candidate, not against a candidate I just can't stand.
_____
Rubber-Necking
Either she doesn't care, or she's just to stupid to get it. How many days, minutes, hours to probation violation time? Place your bets.
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Giddyup, go! (At least the upkeep costs less than a polo pony.)
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Giddyup, go! (At least the upkeep costs less than a polo pony.)
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The Breakdown Lane
I've had two bad pieces of news in one day, so blogging will resume tomorrow. Please do me a favor and say a prayer for the following people: 1) Cheryl, for the loss of her beloved dog Carmel, and 2) the Borra family -- my friend Victor died of brain cancer this morning. My heart goes out to all of them.
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Bus Fumes
Another example of the "anyone's fault but mine" approach to life. Feh.
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Spoons has a recap of what is known about the scare in the air incident. Read it all, but especially the link to Heather Wilhelm on the Syrian Wayne Newton. Scary stuff, indeed.
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Spoons has a recap of what is known about the scare in the air incident. Read it all, but especially the link to Heather Wilhelm on the Syrian Wayne Newton. Scary stuff, indeed.
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