Batten Down The Hatches

My friend from the North Woods sent me the following:

THE NATIONAL HURRICANE CENTER IS ISSUING ADVISORIES ON TROPICAL STORM ISAAC...LOCATED INLAND NEAR MONROE LOUISIANA...ON RECENTLY UPGRADED HURRICANE KIRK...LOCATED ABOUT 1500 MILES WEST-SOUTHWEST OF THE AZORES...AND ON NEWLY FORMED TROPICAL STORM LESLIE....LOCATED ABOUT 1125 MILES EAST OF THE WINDWARD ISLANDS.

Oh, goody.  Someone finally paid attention to just what a force of nature I am...